Thank you again for sharing the session so quickly. Always wonderful to read , reflect and Learn, though pain to observe the failures and pitfalls.
Session 9 April 2011
Present: Ark, Laura, Andromeda, Atriedes, Galatea, PoB, Perceval, Mr. Scott, Psyche, Burma Jones, Ottershrew, Ailén, Belibaste.
Q: (L) Well, I guess we can try asking some questions. Let me see the list. Hold everything! Pause! {Stops to read over list of questions.} Ok, I have a series of questions that have been written out here. The first one is; why have we all been feeling so inflamed/low on energy/depressed/irritable for the last two weeks?
A: Cosmic changes in process. Each person experiences this differently according to genetics and environment. Recall previous sufferings preparatory to DNA boosts? All must keep vigilant about diet and psychic hygiene during this time as there are also external factors that seek to block the natural process.
Q: (L) Does this have anything to do with our super-moon dance?
A: Indeed. And recall that the universe is about balance. After each period of suffering there is always joy.
Q: (Burma Jones) What do they mean by “psychic hygiene”?
A: Being careful about what you allow into your ”field”.
Q: (L) In what sense?
A: All senses.
Q: (L) What do you mean “all senses”?
A: Seeing, hearing, speaking, and so on
It looks as if this is for me. I will need to rant which I was postponing for a while. Until recently we are short staffed and work life is very bad. I was under enormous pressure from the office work. I work for a Evil bank in IT ( this thought itself is a pain) . How much I avoid the work and take breaks, I end up in meetings over phone for 8 hrs/day minimum , 3 different things doing simultaneously every minute and still dissatisfied. some days 8AM to 11 PM with some driving time in between. constant pressure of pending work, predators insecurity of being busted for my inefficiencies, Need to go behind the people and demand to get them finish the work with my narcissistic fears and constant mental thought loops of "you are liar , cheater and you are going loose, you are a looser". How much I wash out this thought loop with EE it comes back and often puzzles me. How much I try to self remember, it is tough. self remembering produces a pain block "you are liar , cheater, I don't like you, I hate you " ( negative introject) pops up. I wonder where the this is coming from.
Watching my self, gives me the question "What the heck this life is ?". Torturous to face the feeling of going down. sleep panic attacks became intense produce intense guilt and shame of failure along with their characteristic ADD symptoms. In fact I go office late, Ignore the manager expectation of quick response, takes breaks and bypass the responsibilities to boss ,who ran like crazy for his promotion until recently, thus forcing me to run too and we are short staffed and I am new so need to run. Still find it challenge to control all this ADD type issues. It's always a challenge to figure out sleep attacks are cause of pain in office or vice versa or both are coopting.
some times behave like passive aggressive, feed on people some times, aggressive and highly dissatisfied with life and feel hopeless as long as in the job. Of course all of this emotional thinking, predator's fears , primitive defense mechanism, though the reality of work load and pressures are true too ( though they are reduced during last month due to new help arraival ). Lack of time to do any thing is the biggest disappointing factor in all of this and many times I ask my self "what is the purpose of life ?" with disappointment.
Not feeling like making food or cleaning the dishes, not feeling like detoxing. It all points to sleep attacks and their by product of ADD symptoms. Feel extremely painful to know that I am not able spend time on spiritual work. Constant Running like a mouse over a wheel.
A: We have more in mind. Take care with interacting with negative energies.
Q: (L) Well that’s kinda like creating your own reality, isn’t it?
A: Not what we mean… Keep your guard up and do not allow negative energies to slip by… such as believing lies… listening to negative music while thinking it is positive…watching negative movies and thinking it is negligible. It is extremely important to not lie to the self. One can listen or watch many things as long as the truth of the orientation is known, acknowledged, and understood. Clear?
Another painful instance is the thought that "I pray saying LIVE IN ME TODAY, BE MY DAILY BREAD" , but spend 10 to 12 hrs in office stuff for a evil bank. It hurts, though not sure what is right or wrong.
I am under swamp of programs that arised due to constant running for months and predators insecurity for my failings at work, panic attacks and ADD issues. confusions and constant deflections to avoid pain of wasting time and Mostly lack of time to calm down and reflect.
Magical thinking that some how things will change and all will be alright. and I will be able to detox, look at my emotions, eating more varied healthy food consistently.
though I started teaching EE recently, going to Rolfing, the feeling of this constant running is not good for me still lingers. Still Feel tired in a day of office work( obviously from endless mental programs that run in hectic life) after 2 days of charged up weekend rest. Though I control the negative emotions ( rather shut it) , still Confuses me to no end about what else to do ?. thoughts like "Why don't I use retirement savings any way all will go down soon." Well, they won't come for long, so I chugg on. Not sure what is right or wrong. I know there is some thread in forum, read little bit.
Q: (L) So, in other words: awareness. Calling a spade a spade and not allowing something negative to enter you and believing it is positive. You can see it, perceive it and acknowledge it but not allow it to influence you. Because obviously, you cannot shut off your perceptions of the world, but you can control how it affects you. So, don’t let it inside, thinking it’s something that it’s not.
(Belibaste) So, see it as it is. If it is negative, see it as negative.
(L) Yeah, and they’re saying to focus on truth in order for changes to manifest in you that are positive. That is, “positive” can mean acknowledging that something is negative because it is truth.
Q: (Galatea) Choose the seeds you wish to water.
(L) Is that basically what we’re talking about here?
A: Yes
