Shocking dream about Laura.

[SolarMother]

Thanks StandingOnTheEdge and SolarMother,

Interesting that both my partner and I are going through similar things and she's a Scorpio and I'm on the cusp Scorpio/Sagittarius. I've never put much faith in horoscopes but recently have seen some interesting and applicable readings that go beyond "it would apply to anyone reading it." Since the C's mentioned the horoscope had been adulterated, that originally there were more houses, I wonder how accurate they would still be.

Thanks again,
Gonzo

Thanks for your reply Gonzo. In this 3D world I am finding that the type of astrology I do works well
but that's after many years of research, seeking out the hidden more archaic meanings...if it helps you at all, I am glad. My husband and I have been going through more deep changes
and transformations as well, much like you describe with your mate!!
Carry on! ;)

 

[Laura]

On the topic of being vigilant. This weekend I felt a sudden urge to attack the forum and in particular Laura. Some voice (who came out of nowhere) told me to write a book and expose the whole thing as a scam. This is not the first time this has occurred (I fell for it on the topic of MMS). I always had the desire to write a book (and become famous and rich) and so appealing to this is definitely a weak spot in my defense system. This time I told that voice to back off. I am not falling for this trick any longer. I recognised it for what it was: an attempt to vector me. It took three attempts to stop that voice from urging me to come back to the topic.

FWIW, and it may not be much, I haven't seen any dreams lately. But as with Jeremy, I've had also thoughts lately about the whole C's being a cult thing, which is ridiculous if I know what cults are. I didn't give them much weight however.

Not surprising for either of you since both of your programs/predator minds have really taken a beating in the forum here and there is undoubtedly a considerable amount of resentment, self-importance/self-pity that can be tapped into and aimed at me. After all, that is why and how Vincent Bridges did what he did (and continues to do). He, unfortunately, did not have any real self inside to engage in the alchemical battle with the false personality. As Gurdjieff said:

"It often happens that, having stopped before some barrier, usually the smallest and the most simple, people turn against the work, against the teacher, and against other members of the group, and accuse them of the very thing that is becoming revealed to them in themselves.

"Sometimes they repent later and blame themselves, then they again blame others, then they repent once more, and so on. But there is nothing that shows up a man better than his attitude towards the work and the teacher after he has left it. Sometimes such tests are arranged intentionally. A man is placed in such a position that he is obliged to leave and he is fully justified in having a grievance either against the teacher or against some other person. And then he is watched to see how he will behave. A decent man will behave decently even if he thinks that he has been treated unjustly or wrongly. But many people in such circumstances show a side of their nature which otherwise they would never show. And at times it is a necessary means for exposing a man's nature. So long as you are good to a man he is good to you. But what will he be like if you scratch him a little?

"But this is not the chief thing; the chief thing is his own personal attitude, his own valuation of the ideas which he receives or has received, and his keeping or losing this valuation. A man may think for a long time and quite sincerely that he wants to work and even make great efforts, and then he may throw up everything and even definitely go against the work; justify himself, invent various fabrications, deliberately ascribe a wrong meaning to what he has heard, and so on."

"What happens to them for this?" asked one of the audience.

"Nothing—what could happen to them?" said G. "They are their own punishment. And what punishment could be worse?

As for the MMS thing, I DO blame myself for not taking a stronger stand against it as soon as I had suspicions and what little evidence there was that it might not be such a good thing. But, as most people do, I was trying to give Humble the benefit of the doubt and I was NOT SURE 100%. And so many other things intervened, it went on the back burner.

 

[Atreides]

Sometimes such tests are arranged intentionally. A man is placed in such a position that he is obliged to leave and he is fully justified in having a grievance either against the teacher or against some other person.

...

A decent man will behave decently even if he thinks that he has been treated unjustly or wrongly.

...

So long as you are good to a man he is good to you. But what will he be like if you scratch him a little?

...

"Nothing—what could happen to them?" said G. "They are their own punishment. And what punishment could be worse?"

It seems to me, that many people wish to be taken at their word that they would never hurt, or never betray, but that is what everyone says. It is very difficult, especially for me, to look at people and be completely distrustful of them. I might say that I am, or act like I am at first, but deep down, I am a softy, and in fact, this has been something that has really prevented me from breaking through and understanding that people and ideas and a network are highly precious things, and to safeguard and nurture them, sometimes you have to sacrifice your self-importance and your need to be liked and make nice in order to make sure, sometimes you have to scratch someone and be ready for their flaming anger and retribution against you.

In the case of VB, I liked him, he applied to my youthful ego, flattered my ego and so on. So when he did what he did, I felt horribly betrayed at first, only thinking of myself, and then realized that I had been used, not instrumentally so, but I had just been shut off from saying anything negative about him. And because I had not useful input, and even had detrimental input, that actually hurt and endangered others.

When I think back to my interactions with him, there were a few times when, had I asserted myself or called him on his BS, he probably would have gotten angry with me, and maybe he would have shown his true colors sooner, or at the very least, I would have had some real input except looking aghast and saying "I can't believe he did that."

In the end, it's all a bit like what Musashi said: To die without your weapon drawn is false.

I have since experienced this time and again, falling into believing what a person says instead of what they do, and never structuring my interactions with them in such a way that they have to do something instead of just talking.

It's like L always says: How do you expect the universe to give you anything precious if you aren't willing to protect it. (Paraphrased of course.)

On the topic of the cult thing, it really gets my goat. I am so far removed from a cult follower and my mother is so far removed from a cult leader, it just confounds me. How can anyone reading the sessions not get the light hearted, sometimes tongue in cheek, humor and openness about them. I mean there's no sacrifices, drugs, bowing, scraping, or preachy nonsense beyond the normal "had a bad day, need to vent" kind. We're just regular dudes and dudettes, we all put our panties on one leg at a time.

 

[Windmill knight]

On the topic of the cult thing, it really gets my goat. I am so far removed from a cult follower and my mother is so far removed from a cult leader, it just confounds me. How can anyone reading the sessions not get the light hearted, sometimes tongue in cheek, humor and openness about them. I mean there's no sacrifices, drugs, bowing, scraping, or preachy nonsense beyond the normal "had a bad day, need to vent" kind. We're just regular dudes and dudettes, we all put our panties on one leg at a time.

Amen!

And how can anyone not see that the spirit behind this forum and all related projects is curiosity, anger in the face of lies and out-of-the-box thinking?

 

[LQB]

...
In the case of VB, I liked him, he applied to my youthful ego, flattered my ego and so on. So when he did what he did, I felt horribly betrayed at first, only thinking of myself, and then realized that I had been used, not instrumentally so, but I had just been shut off from saying anything negative about him. And because I had not useful input, and even had detrimental input, that actually hurt and endangered others.
....

This reminded me of a concept that describes an aspect of the Work, or better, a result of it. Developing an internal "fruit meter". as in "By their fruits you shall know them". The process of unloading all the bull in the form of notions, operative beliefs and programs so that the fruit meter has a chance to register through both actions and perceptions. Best to All and Vigilance.

 

[Jeremy F Kreuz]

from Laura;

Not surprising for either of you since both of your programs/predator minds have really taken a beating in the forum here and there is undoubtedly a considerable amount of resentment, self-importance/self-pity that can be tapped into and aimed at me.

The predator sure did get a good beating lately. And yes not hard to doubt there must be resentment, self importance and self pity that can be tapped into. Exposing this to the forum is for the moment a very important weapon against the predator and I thank YOU and so many others here to cover my back while I take step by step forward.

 

[Laura]

The predator sure did get a good beating lately. And yes not hard to doubt there must be resentment, self importance and self pity that can be tapped into. Exposing this to the forum is for the moment a very important weapon against the predator and I thank YOU and so many others here to cover my back while I take step by step forward.

Well, while programs are being challenged and predator mind structures are taking a beating, I pretty much take a beating myself though in a different way. From the beginning of this thread, I felt absolutely terrible. It wasn't a surprise for others to be dreaming and feeling strange since I, myself, had plunged into a pit as well. For about a week, I was feeling impending doom and had difficulty sleeping which only made matters worse. I was feeling pretty hopeless because the enormity of the task before us was really driven home. Actually, it is not the task itself, but rather the rolling of the boulder uphill every day in the face of constant defamation and obstruction in so many ways.

I long ago reconciled myself to the defamation and attacks - tends to keep a person constantly aware and cleansed of self-importance - and even welcomed it as one of the signs that I must be doing something right. There is also the very important factor that the attacks on me and other group members led us into the study of psychopathology and how much has that helped so many others?! It was a blessing in disguise!

But lately, while reading some posts from newbies on the forum here, and hearing some stories from other people about family members or friends who have only ever read the attacks against me, and are otherwise not ready to really read and understand who and what we are and what we are trying to do, I realized that these attacks are no longer serving a beneficial purpose. We've done the research, we have a pretty good handle on that aspect of things and darned if that research didn't lead to some pretty amazing explanations of the state of our world! So, basically, now, the attacks only serve as a stick to beat us with - and I say "us" collectively. And not just here in the forum, but in a wider sense. These attacks are also being used to hurt forum members and that is not good.

So, I have thought about it for awhile and I think that we may need to turn our attention to dealing with this very soon, and I mean dealing with it legally: putting a stop to it and clearing everything ON THE RECORD. For many people it just wasn't enough that the judge in the Pepin case spent several months investigating us and found no merit to any of the HBI accusations which were basically just purloined from Bridges et al.

So, I'm thinking that it may be time to call in the legal eagles and just deal with it.

Then, of course, thinking about that, I start thinking about how difficult it is to keep anything clean and operatively pure in this reality. Can we do it? Are we smart enough? Especially when we see pretty clearly that much of the opposition comes from somewhere other than strictly human agency.

Anyway, all of that was going on in my mind and it was looking pretty hopeless from where I sat. Having all the dreams and other things coming out only made me realize more acutely how vulnerable we all are. That's pretty depressing.

So, yeah, I was depressed. Deeply.

But then, yesterday, we got out of the house for a bit - took a drive to Andorra for cigarettes - and it really was a beautiful day; the leaves were turning and the colors were amazing. When we got up in the mountains, the snow was fresh and white and looked like powdered sugar. Driving home, I realized that, for some reason, hope had returned and some sort of corner had been turned and I was able to face it all again. I just have to do each minute what is before me to do and not work myself up about how impossible it is to deal with everything coming all together.

Sometimes I wonder if, when all that stuff goes on, we are not fighting some epic battle on some other level and the only awareness we have of it here is non-specific, floating emotionality and anxiety? If so, does that mean we won this round via networking?

 

[Ollie]

But then, yesterday, we got out of the house for a bit - took a drive to Andorra for cigarettes - and it really was a beautiful day; the leaves were turning and the colors were amazing. When we got up in the mountains, the snow was fresh and white and looked like powdered sugar. Driving home, I realized that, for some reason, hope had returned and some sort of corner had been turned and I was able to face it all again.

There's nothing like the mountains for helping turning a corner. :)

I just have to do each minute what is before me to do and not work myself up about how impossible it is to deal with everything coming all together.

A good point for all of us to bear in mind, to overcome the enormity of the problem, of the evil of overwhelm. Just do what needs to be done right now. And, as the C's have said: What is of greatest importance right now? Always keep that thought and question in mind.

Sometimes I wonder if, when all that stuff goes on, we are not fighting some epic battle on some other level and the only awareness we have of it here is non-specific, floating emotionality and anxiety? If so, does that mean we won this round via networking?

Whilst keeping out of 'wishful thinking mode', let us hope that is the case, that we won this round by networking. As I often quote to people on the forum,

To learn and see you have to interact.

 

[Andrian]

I just want to say that in the past 2-3 weeks i started to fell in depression because of the problems in the family we have (financial problems) but also i felt that this is not a coincidence since from the middle of the october i felt that something has changed " in the air" now i am sure of it after reading the comments of the members about the dreams and experiences they had ,sincerely i hope that all of you will be ok , i've understood a very important thing, to be very vigilant and aspect any attack at any moment (especially now ), when i woke up this morning because of the dream i had i decided to write it on the forum but instead of it i found this topic and i can say that reading the comments i realized that unfortunately i am not the only one who had these feelings and experiences and i want to thank everyone who participated that helped me a lot, the dream i wanted to share on the forum was about meteorites , i remember that i was in a country home with my brother i think, and suddenly i saw from a window that from the sky are falling huge meteorites toward our home i was so amazed that couldn't do anything just stayed and watched how the meteorites are falling and crashing in our house ,they fall and destroyed almost the whole home except the room we are sitting with my brother, after that we run outside and saw heavy clouds like made of smoke and in the clouds many ,many lights of others meteorites that continued to fall, i even remember that when i run outside the hose i felt how is raining with little stones from meteorites ,that was so real and terrifying but i wasn't scared and thanks to this dream i read this great topic who like i said helped me .

 

[RedFox]

Hi Andrian
The comment about them being like rain, heavy clouds and lights in the sky is interesting as its something I use to dream about all the time as a kid...pretty scary stuff. Their are some discussions from several forum members on how they use to dream the same things.

So, yeah, I was depressed. Deeply.

But then, yesterday, we got out of the house for a bit - took a drive to Andorra for cigarettes - and it really was a beautiful day; the leaves were turning and the colors were amazing. When we got up in the mountains, the snow was fresh and white and looked like powdered sugar. Driving home, I realized that, for some reason, hope had returned and some sort of corner had been turned and I was able to face it all again. I just have to do each minute what is before me to do and not work myself up about how impossible it is to deal with everything coming all together.

Sometimes I wonder if, when all that stuff goes on, we are not fighting some epic battle on some other level and the only awareness we have of it here is non-specific, floating emotionality and anxiety? If so, does that mean we won this round via networking?

I'm pleased hope has returned for you Laura.
I've been thinking about you guys a lot the last week or so.....I wondered if it was presumptuous to think but its been on my mind to say perhaps you lot at the château should post something in the swamp sometimes? I'd guess you probably do that in the mods section of the forum anyway, and posting in the swamp may not be the best from the point of view of strategic enclosure.....but there is something about sharing your pain with the network here that helps so much....
Its just something I'd been seeing in your posts and those of others from the château that just felt like the weight of the universe (let alone the world) was upon you all....and not in the usual way. It felt like it was too much for you guys to bare....

I think having said this next time I spot it I'll post something right away. It probably doesn't help so much saying these things in hindsight.

As to the battle at another level.....I got deja vu when you said that!

Sending you all hugs.

Just to add (having read what I just wrote)....if it I was seeing it in several people from the château....and the drive cleared things....was the château targeted with extra beaming? Has everyone been feeling this way your end?

*edit* to add I've been thinking a lot about identification and getting caught up in things (emotions included) such as despair and addictions....tunnel vision and closing of to creative possibilities, and wondering if I should put it together into something useful and post....reading your post Laura has given me the kick to do so.

 

[Cathryn]

Just to add an experience to this discussion, and get it out there so to speak, last night, in the middle of the night, I experienced an intense anger, huge rage, which lasted for several hours. It happened completely out of the blue and has left me feeling ashamed and scared.

Sometimes in the middle of the night our dogs will start howling, one starts whining and sets the other off and it builds to a crescendo, so one of us gets up to see what’s up, usually one will want to go out, or they are cold and need a blanket, sometimes the cat has snuggled up and they are objecting, letting us know. They do it when the phone rings too. The night time ‘howl’ is not very often, maybe once a month, so it’s no big deal.

Last night it happened and as we had just ‘tucked’ them in and they had just been out etc we didn’t respond, all went quiet again and I was settling down to sleep. They howled again, this time I got up to check what was wrong; in a matter of seconds I became really angry as I was going downstairs, and when I got to them I was in a full blown rage, I shouted at them, to lie down and go to sleep, well its clear they are not going to lie down and go to sleep with me yelling, so they went under the kitchen table shivering, so I shouted more, yea it is really hard to understand, especially for them, I have never ever done anything like this in my long life, the dogs have never experienced me shouting or getting angry with them.

My husband came down, his face was white and he said he felt really disturbed by my behaviour, well yea, it was very disturbing, so what did I do, I started shouting at him, he lay down next to the dogs who were shivering, and even though I was hurting a lot and feeling ashamed seeing them scared, I could not stop shouting and I don’t even remember what I said, it was like I was screaming about everything, totally out of control.

Today I am in the pits of shame, the dogs are their usual happy loving selves, as if it never happened, so forgiving, I can’t stop crying at the thought of what I did, but neither dogs nor my husband has any recrimination. I have tried to rationalise the episode as the culmination of a long period of stressful events and ongoing circumstances spanning 3-4 years, but in the end, there is no excuse, rational or otherwise. Scared but willing to get in the crucible.

 

[Z...]

.

Sometimes I wonder if, when all that stuff goes on, we are not fighting some epic battle on some other level and the only awareness we have of it here is non-specific, floating emotionality and anxiety? If so, does that mean we won this round via networking?

FWIW I had a strong feeling that our network has gained some strong impetus recently. In the same time last 10 days were weirdest ever, you summed it perfectly - floating emotionality and anxiety.
I did feel like we are all under some sort of attack and I had clear notion of some negativity coming our way mid last week.
Soon after I also kept getting these thoughts that something is going to happen to me on the road.

I was making an extra effort to drive as careful as I can. And then today as I was waiting in line for the ferry just like that out of the blue someone reversed full speed and crashed into the back of my car. The guy came out of the car swearing that he checked the mirror and that I wasn't there. It was the damnedest thing - he seemed totally shocked and repeated several times: "But, you were not there few seconds ago!"
I WAS there, stationary for at least several minutes before this happened.
It is not a big deal and insurance will take care of it - I just thought that the whole incident was too weird.
On the bright note as soon as I reached the sister island I felt big relief and a strong sense of - We made it !

 

[RyanX]

But lately, while reading some posts from newbies on the forum here, and hearing some stories from other people about family members or friends who have only ever read the attacks against me, and are otherwise not ready to really read and understand who and what we are and what we are trying to do, I realized that these attacks are no longer serving a beneficial purpose. We've done the research, we have a pretty good handle on that aspect of things and darned if that research didn't lead to some pretty amazing explanations of the state of our world! So, basically, now, the attacks only serve as a stick to beat us with - and I say "us" collectively. And not just here in the forum, but in a wider sense. These attacks are also being used to hurt forum members and that is not good.

Laura,

It is interesting you mentioned this. Recently, I got a call from an old friend of mine. We talk maybe every couple weeks or so, which is nice because otherwise I don't get much verbal interaction with people outside of work. Anyways, he follows a lot of what I post on my Facebook page, and being unemployed he with more free time on his hands, he decided to explore some of my links further. Lo and behold, he came across the Cassiopaean Transcripts and read some of the material on cassiopaea.org. I think what drew him there was the link I posted awhile back to the Knowledge and Being video.

Overall his impressions were positive. He seemed really intrigued about the notion of time-travel -- that struck a chord with him it seems. After asking him some general non-leading questions, I also gave him my impressions of the Cassiopaean transcripts from what I've learned here; he seemed to generally be in agreement with what I said.

I must say, I was a little nervous when he brought up the subject, since I've never directly referenced the Cassiopaean transcripts to anybody outside of this group and only indirectly through some of the links I've posted on Facebook. I was worried that he would have stumbled upon all the VB and JW defamation material that is floating around out there. He didn't mention any of that though.

So, I think you're right, we do need to set the story straight for others. I was also encouraged by this exchange with my friend because it shows that if we do all do our part of emphasizing what is really going on here with the Fellowship and all related projects, people generally see this as a positive thing. Not once was the word 'cult' mentioned in this conversation with my friend. So, maybe it is wishful thinking on my part, but I feel somewhat hopeful that some people will see through the lies about what goes on here.

On the other hand, I can see how if people's first impression of the work being done here is through the distorted, pathological lens of all the defamatory material out there, they would have a hard time getting past that. I don't know how to get around that problem, except like you said, pursuing legal actions against those that push these defamatory attacks.

FWIW.

 

[Guardian]

So, yeah, I was depressed. Deeply.

But then, yesterday, we got out of the house for a bit - took a drive to Andorra for cigarettes - and it really was a beautiful day; the leaves were turning and the colors were amazing. When we got up in the mountains, the snow was fresh and white and looked like powdered sugar. Driving home, I realized that, for some reason, hope had returned and some sort of corner had been turned and I was able to face it all again.

Earth Herself is on our side. Like every other living Being in 3D, she's been beaten, battered and raped in a variety of ways...and yet She still sings to us when we're in need, just like a loving Mother sings to a sick child.

 

[LQB]

...

On the other hand, I can see how if people's first impression of the work being done here is through the distorted, pathological lens of all the defamatory material out there, they would have a hard time getting past that. I don't know how to get around that problem, except like you said, pursuing legal actions against those that push these defamatory attacks.

I have an example of this that I think is worth noting. I have a good friend that I've had many esoteric discussions with over the years. Several times I have suggested she look into Laura's work. She recently did this as a result of her favorable impressions of sott. In poking around the web, she ran into VB material and bounced off it. To be fair, I know she does not have a lot of time for research due to numerous life difficulties (not the least of which is a severely autistic son). So it took me some time to summarize the details/motivations of the VB crowd and stress reliance on Laura's work as it stands. She understands and is moving forward, but, had I not been there to offer another view, there is little chance that she would have continued on her own - mission accomplished for VB & Co. So I think RyanX is right - a hard time indeed.