This thread has had me questioning what number of man I am.
These were my old thoughts in The Swamp:
Psalehesost said:
I don't know whether I am actually a "man 2" or a "man 3" - in going over memories, this has long been unclear, given the very strong emotionality experienced in the earlier parts of my life - at the same time, intellect was ahead of age in early childhood and also quite active and involved, and as the emotional center later went - not altogether to sleep, but more into a toxic, numbed yet active stupor - it became the center of gravity of what was "conscious".
[...] Looking at my life, it seems that I have lived at once as a sick "man 2" (who knows mainly what he "does not like" rather than what he "does like") and a somewhat healthier, yet confused, "man 3". Confused in large part because of the befuddling influence of a sickened emotional center.
The solution is elegant and simple - I am neither!
Like some in this thread, I used to think of "man 1" in terms of a "physically focused" and in that sense active person; going by Gurdjieff's description, I also do not seem to be "man 1" 'in the fullest sense', as in someone who 'learns everything like a parrot or a monkey'. Nevertheless, "lopsidedness" varies in strength and character - and there is something that can define "man 1" that is very clear in me:
Cassiopedia said:
A moving center type may tend to rely on senses, as in "if I do not see it, it is not so" or "if I see it, I see it as it truly is." This is not limited to physical senses but can extend to intuitions, ESP and the like, which are in part functions of the intelligent part of the moving/instinctive center. With man 1, experience takes precedence.
Sensing, including "mental sensations" (here I mean sensations connected with or arising from, in general, all manner of psychological processes concerning thoughts, feelings and experiences) - it has been at the center of my focus for as long as I can remember - the forms vary, as well as the things connected to it, but there it is - the elephant in the room regarding all my prior thoughts on my "type".
My motivations (and the actual root of my interests) have very often been "sensate" - only not physical sensation but the above-mentioned. Everything from daydreaming, fantasies, gaming, reading and watching fiction - to music and especially
sound in itself - and generally doing things - much, perhaps most, was all along all about this.
Boredom or lack of interest in a subject was typically all about not experiencing such "sensation" connected to it. (I suspect higher maths became hopeless in large part for pretty much this reason)
obyvatel said:
For a moving center dominated man, the response though quick is less likely to have much of an emotional flavor. It is more likely to be a response which is sort of dry and may seem to be superficially intellectual. He is more likely to search his memory banks to pick out what he thinks is an appropriate response, working chiefly through his formatory apparatus. In many cases the lack of depth would become discernible as compared to a more studied and deliberate response of Man 3. An intellectual man may wait longer to process the information and may even ask more questions to gather more data before giving a response.
That describes me very well
in life, as opposed to when I sit down and work on some intellectual problem. "Pondering" for me is often about "sensing" what "seems" right rather than analyzing things, kind of simply stalling, "digging around" repetitively in the mind, until there is a coherent impression. Not always, but still all too often - this became a deeply ingrained habit in my teens, when I became less spontaneous, more inhibited, more stuck in my head and less in touch with my body (along with my emotions).
All the above realizations have made me think of myself differently - I also feel different - and memories from throughout life have gathered that cement a new impression of myself. Now to examine further what this all means in practical terms - it may give some new (or clearer) ideas of strengths, weaknesses and possible approaches in many contexts...