The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, PhD.

[shijing]

Thus, it seems to me that a lot of the HSP profile has more to do with PTSD of a sort than anything else. And let's face it, this world is freaking traumatizing! And it doesn't help that we have to live through it without having experienced the total support that a child is entitled to during the formative years, that we are programmed by narcissists or narcissistic families, those "powerful and judgmental examiners" that live inside our heads.

This is why I've written about the healthy expression of anger. No, we should not dump on others, nor should we get angry at those close to us because of past events, or events that don't really relate to them. But of all the things that harass us, the invasion of our physical and emotional boundaries - those things that trigger fight or flight responses - are the most damaging if we repress them.

It seems to me that the HSP formula is designed to do exactly that: an aid to repression.

The topic of PTSD is interesting in this context, and I'm glad it was mentioned. I was looking over this information last night, and there are some symptoms (which would probably fit more with chronic PTSD than acute PTSD if we are considering general temperament) which certainly overlap with the HSP profile as broadly defined by Aron:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml

Signs & Symptoms

PTSD can cause many symptoms. These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:

1. Re-experiencing symptoms

Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
Bad dreams
Frightening thoughts

Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.

2. Avoidance symptoms

Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
Feeling emotionally numb
Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.

Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.

3. Hyperarousal symptoms

Being easily startled
Feeling tense or “on edge”
Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.

Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

It’s natural to have some of these symptoms after a dangerous event. Sometimes people have very serious symptoms that go away after a few weeks. This is called acute stress disorder, or ASD. When the symptoms last more than a few weeks and become an ongoing problem, they might be PTSD. Some people with PTSD don’t show any symptoms for weeks or months.

Do children react differently than adults?

Children and teens can have extreme reactions to trauma, but their symptoms may not be the same as adults. In very young children, these symptoms can include:

Bedwetting, when they’d learned how to use the toilet before
Forgetting how or being unable to talk
Acting out the scary event during playtime
Being unusually clingy with a parent or other adult.

Older children and teens usually show symptoms more like those seen in adults. They may also develop disruptive, disrespectful, or destructive behaviors. Older children and teens may feel guilty for not preventing injury or deaths. They may also have thoughts of revenge [...]

Who Is At Risk?

PTSD affects about 7.7 million American adults, but it can occur at any age, including childhood. Women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, and there is some evidence that susceptibility to the disorder may run in families.

Anyone can get PTSD at any age. This includes war veterans and survivors of physical and sexual assault, abuse, accidents, disasters, and many other serious events.

Not everyone with PTSD has been through a dangerous event. Some people get PTSD after a friend or family member experiences danger or is harmed. The sudden, unexpected death of a loved one can also cause PTSD.

Why do some people get PTSD and other people do not?

It is important to remember that not everyone who lives through a dangerous event gets PTSD. In fact, most will not get the disorder.

Many factors play a part in whether a person will get PTSD. Some of these are risk factors that make a person more likely to get PTSD. Other factors, called resilience factors, can help reduce the risk of the disorder. Some of these risk and resilience factors are present before the trauma and others become important during and after a traumatic event.

Risk factors for PTSD include:

Living through dangerous events and traumas
Having a history of mental illness
Getting hurt
Seeing people hurt or killed
Feeling horror, helplessness, or extreme fear
Having little or no social support after the event
Dealing with extra stress after the event, such as loss of a loved one, pain and injury, or loss of a job or home.

Resilience factors that may reduce the risk of PTSD include:

Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family
Finding a support group after a traumatic event
Feeling good about one’s own actions in the face of danger
Having a coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it
Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear.

Researchers are studying the importance of various risk and resilience factors. With more study, it may be possible someday to predict who is likely to get PTSD and prevent it.

While I was looking for When the Body Says No last night, I also came across this book, in case anyone is interested in looking into this topic more:

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

When Trauma and Recovery was first published in 1992, it was hailed as a groundbreaking work. In the intervening years, Herman’s volume has changed the way we think about and treat traumatic events and trauma victims. In a new afterword, Herman chronicles the incredible response the book has elicited and explains how the issues surrounding the topic have shifted within the clinical community and the culture at large. Trauma and Recovery brings a new level of understanding to a set of problems usually considered individually. Herman draws on her own cutting-edge research in domestic violence as well as on the vast literature of combat veterans and victims of political terror, to show the parallels between private terrors such as rape and public traumas such as terrorism. The book puts individual experience in a broader political frame, arguing that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context. Meticulously documented and frequently using the victims’ own words as well as those from classic literary works and prison diaries, Trauma and Recovery is a powerful work that will continue to profoundly impact our thinking.

 

[Muxel]

A majority of questions in that test refer to being overwhelmed. Sufferers from PTSD in its various forms would very likely fall in the HSP category based on that self- test.

I was going to say, I know of someone who is noise sensitive and probably got that way after a bad (traumatizing?) experience renting in a particularly noisy household.

The way this manifests is that I can be very quiet around others which I'm sure can make them feel as if I'm uninterested in what they have to say and uninterested in speaking with them. In short, I need to stop doing this because it's hurtful to others and myself.

I think if you are aware that your hangups are defying social convention and/or sabotaging interpersonal interactions/relationships, then you can be motivated to overcome such things in yourself and rise to the occasion. And the C's said: A key to observing the self is to turn the attention simultaneously towards others to notice their true reactions to what you think you are doing or how you think you are being perceived.

- When does sharing one's burdens with others become more of a ''whining'' thing? Would that be when a person struggles too much, and does little to do anything about it, regardless of feedback?

I think the point is that communicating your burdens to those who understand and are empathetic brings some relief to your physiology by cutting short the stress response. Certainly there exist people who, for whatever reason, vex others with their habitual complaining, but I think it's also how you go about it: successful networking requires some level of social competence, right?

 

[obyvatel]

- When does sharing one's burdens with others become more of a ''whining'' thing? Would that be when a person struggles too much, and does little to do anything about it, regardless of feedback?

As long as you consciously know that you are sharing burdens or whining, and let that be known to the people you are sharing with, it is authentic. You will find out who your real friends are that way. I think we all need to whine once in a while. We either repress and do it unconsciously sneaking it in on others without knowing better - or we can do it with control and be open about it to those whom we trust.

Something like "Guys and girls, there is something really bothering me and I need to get it off my chest. Please bear with me as I do this." ...

[quote author=Oxajil]
- When does ''getting over oneself'' come into place? Would that be when a person is prone to be stuck in a certain narrative that halts him/her in actually doing something that could help her/himself?
[/quote]

When you are done whining, have had your moment in the sun, then you get over yourself and let others have their turn on the whiner's throne and take up the listener's seat.

Some problems get solved when we see it clearly. Others take a long time and we often seem to move in circles around it. As long as we do each circle around the problem consciously, getting a little more insight each time, we convert the circle into a spiral. And one day the problem gets solved. Doing the circle/spiral with as much consciousness/awareness and honesty we are able to muster is what is under our control and is a more tractable problem than trying to know the answer to the "when ....." questions - osit.

In general "when" questions are tricky because the answer cannot be known by some formula or from thinking. The answer depends on the specific context and situation. In the psychological sense, sense of timing comes from the development of the "feeling function" (discussed briefly here ). Knowing and being honest about how one is feeling helps develop the feeling function.

 

[truth seeker]

I think if you are aware that your hangups are defying social convention and/or sabotaging interpersonal interactions/relationships, then you can be motivated to overcome such things in yourself and rise to the occasion. And the C's said: A key to observing the self is to turn the attention simultaneously towards others to notice their true reactions to what you think you are doing or how you think you are being perceived.

Thanks Muxel. :)

 

[mabar]

A majority of questions in that test refer to being overwhelmed. Sufferers from PTSD in its various forms would very likely fall in the HSP category based on that self- test.

I was going to say, I know of someone who is noise sensitive and probably got that way after a bad (traumatizing?) experience renting in a particularly noisy household.

There is also the new threatening experiences, where I work, the city decided that the street -nowadays- to be an "special" street, special for vehicles to be able to go fast such as ambulances, police patrols, firefighters vehicles, public transportation (metrobus) and very few cars (just if you are going to the parking lot), so yeah! I suppose, I had enhanced noise/sound sensitivity, hearing all day long the "weeerooo,weeerooo, weeerooo" from ambulances and police patrols -such vehicles transit continuously and, the "beeeep, beeeep, beeeeeeeeeeep" from the public transportation, because those one drive in an offensive mode, not defensive, their purpose is not to stop -even if people are in front of, there had been a lot of accidents with the metrobus, being a business allowed/installed by the city government, there is nothing much to do, except to be aware. Earplugs are out of question, you will never know when is coming the costumer or the ambulance. Changing workplace is out of the question too, for many reasons.

And just when I was thinking the other day that someday I will be accustom to such noise, we had noticed -employees and other neighboors from other stores- that the ambulances seem to had increased the level of their sounds. And there is also the music at beyond top volume of other stores, that, supposedly, is prohibited, though.

So yes, I dream, desire to work in a less sound/noise place, and yes, when sundays come I do not like to be in noisy environments, but for some reason/lesson I have to be there this time.

I understand that we --people having or behaving or identify with HSP, should not be spoiled by the tips, as with many other kinds of tips that will/are mechanisms to be able either to cope or to find other ways, and many are not applicable nor viable. I must admit that after reading the statement from lilies: “I rather lean toward a HSP being a narcissist, weak, filled with vanity” and other afterwards posts, I felt that my “glassware broke into pieces”, that is pretty much similar in my thinking process as having low tolerance to frustration, to many known as HSP. In between of not being sure what/how/to what extent I am HSP and having high on the test, I felt hurt, thoughts from –related, at certain point- regarding dyslexia, related too to lack of self esteem, the later having recently doubts, after reading the concept of self theory in “Strangers to Ourselves” a month ago, to the point to think , if, I still have lack of self esteem or what level of self esteem I have, or if I say it for lacking of a better description/concept from to overall issues to particularities.

I do have too, also doubts regarding self compassion and treat ourselves “better”, having acknowledge the multiples “I’’s”, to whom “I”? is/should be directed.

I tend too to focus on subtleties, to me was details, whenever is usefull to people they do not say I shouldn't keep doing it, whenever is not usefull to them, they had said I should not doing anymore. I had not make the experiment to not focus consciously on details, I mean I had done it but not with the purpose of the experiment per se.

Thank to all for their comments/posts, it helps to have a broader perspective.

 

[luc]

Thanks everyone for the priceless information and clarifications in this thread. When reading about HSP, I could feel the urge myself to justify certain behaviors, which is a dangerous trap indeed. I also had the same thought about "people posing as HSPs" that many of you pointed out, that is, people using the pity ploy to get what they want. So thanks again.

I have some reservations about the value of consciously willing oneself to be less quiet in social situations. On the one hand, it could be a good thing. You could in some social situation push yourself to speak up somewhat more than usual. Social bonds could be strengthened, with other people realizing that you are interested in what they have to say, and are willing to be a contributor to the conversation. By pushing your comfort zone of how much you take an active part in a conversation, you would gain the satisfaction of achieving a goal, and contributing more in future situations would become easier.

And that would be an act of external considering.

On the other hand, I think if others feel you are not interested in them just because you are very quiet, then that is their error of judgment, which you are not responsible for. If they actually go to the extreme of taking offence, or of assuming you have some kind of deficiency of character or intellect because you are very quiet, then perhaps those are "highly insensitive" people with whom time spent developing social bonds might not be the ideal expenditure of energy.

Which would be an example of internal considering.

Yes, I think as always it depends on the situation, so looking at problems like this in terms of internal/external consideration or in terms of what "it" doesn't like is the better approach, rather than thinking about whether it's good or bad to be quiet/outspoken.

Personally, I've been in many social situations where I either did the right thing (osit), or screwed up by being too outspoken or too quiet, depending on the situation. So for example, sometimes I just switched to "observation mode" even though I should have made a point in a discussion or just let everyone know that I'm comfortable by participating in a conversation - just out of laziness, feeling uncomfortable or whatever - internal considering. At other times, I got into a "love to hear myself talk" mode, talking too much which got me in a vulnerable position or even offended people - internal considering again. On the other hand, I think I behaved more external considerate when I was able to overcome my "mood" or whatever little I got hold of me by going against "it". Like "feel tired/not in a talkative mood/shy?" ->make it a point to participate and contribute something meaningful to a conversation, even if it's just small talk. "Feel like talking/getting attention/look smart?" ->force yourself to "observation mode" and make it a point to resist your urge to be in the spotlight... This can be a good step towards becoming more external considerate, osit.

 

[davey72]

I do think that having moved to sharing things with the network, friends (some of them students) has been helpful to me when it comes to expressing my difficulties/burdens and receiving understanding, support and feedback, but I see that there is more room for me to do so.

It has helped me at times, and i'm sure many others as well; So, thanks for that. :D

 

[jhp1963]

Please may I have details of the quote "Sensitivity is anything but a flaw". (Page number and which year the book was published as I know it's been released in more than one year) I could use this quote but do to have access to the book at the moment. Thanks in advance.

jhp1963

 

[riclapaz]

Wow, great thread, thanks to all, the test certainly come into being a HSP person, and I agree it would only be a pretext to really make conscious efforts.