mabar said:
mkrnhr said:
Gandalf said:
And I don't know exactly for what reason(s), but I'm much more nervous than normally. I quite often feels an electrical wave passing through my body and an inability to master my nervousness. Moreover, I don't know if I can call that like that but "the joy of life" is less and less present.
I've the "picture" for a few months now that the world is only running out of inertia, like when you stop an engine and the vehicle continues to advance until it stops because all its kinetic energy has dissipated. The nervousness may also be due to some realization that things that are due to happen will happen no matter what, especially when one tries to digest all what is happening, which most of the time doesn't make sense at all.
I have been feeling this nervousness since I begun reading the wave and earth sings, is just getting near, too close to be comfort? .. but in the other hand, I feel quite calm, the feel of the pit in the stomach comes back when I think in my love ones around, or in the way I may or not leave this world, but is either karma or FRV or both, and at certain point, one will be prepared. Perhaps is just what I want to believe. Its about faith, I am re-learning about it.
I think things have felt weird since about the turn of the century, but the weird changes to new kind of weird from time to time.
The last year or so (maybe longer) has felt as normal tedious things have to be done 3 times.
Like I ordered meat online, but they had left out a number in the bank account number they gave me, so when I went to the bank to pay it, I had to go home again and call them and get the right number, and go to the bank again, or today when I was trying to move the internet line to the place I'm moving to, I can't because I'm moving to a street where the houses don't have house numbers, so I have to see if I can get in touch with the one who is about to move out to ask what he has done, but I have to wait for the owner of the house to look for his number, and send it to me. (these are just examples, but it seems to be the new normal)
So the feeling of a motor that is running out of gas, or a machine that malfunctions before it stops completely, I definitely recognize.
I also find it harder to do things that are normally not so hard, and am a little unsure if it is because everything has to be done 3 times, or if I have very little energy to do things with.
Some things (feeling of weird, and machine malfunctioning, feeling exhausted) seem worse this year than last, but at the same time I feel more and more some hopeful, or accepting, or laughing at how ridiculous everything is, feelings,
And I think that might be because of all of you, dear group!
I mean even if we all die, or if the Lizzies win this one, and it takes another 300000 years of hell to get to this place again, I think it is pretty amazing that you are all here now!
I definitely don't look forward to things getting worse, but at the same time I am at that point too:
Laura said:
... the Cs think of cleansing of the planet as GOOD news... and some of us are getting to the point that we think similarly even if we all have to suffer to get through it!