Boardlurker? Read this!!

Glad you jumped in Stowaway! As you've been through the Wave and Adventure series, you may want to extend your reading to the ideas of Gurdjieff, the psychological books and the books on diet and health:

The ideas of Gurdjieff are integral to this forum. If you're not familiar with Gurdjieff, you can read some basic information about his 4th Way teaching, generally referred to here as "the Work", by clicking on the links in this paragraph. It is a method of self-examination recommended to and practiced by most members of this forum, as a way of seeing ourselves, others, and the world around us from the perspective of OBJECTIVITY, rather than through the distorting prism of our own SUBJECTIVITY -- i.e., our emotional issues, programs, mechanical behaviour, buffers, sacred cows, and wishful thinking. The Work benefits from active participation in a group/network like this, where others also involved in the Work can provide feedback and act as a mirror in which we can see ourselves more clearly. The text The First Initiation written by Mme Jeanne de Salzmann is a must read. Two concepts that are important to this forum are strategic enclosure and external considering.

You'll also find frequent references on the forum to the "Big Five" psychology books, which are extremely helpful tools towards acquiring a basic understanding of your own "machine". Should you decide to explore those books at some point in the future, Laura suggests that they be read in the following order: The Myth of Sanity by Martha Stout; The Narcissistic Family by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman & Robert M. Pressman; Trapped in The Mirror by Elan Golomb; Unholy Hungers by Barbara Hort; and In Sheep's Clothing by George K. Simon.

Please note that the health issue is also an important matter if someone wants to clean his own "machine". So, after reading the diet and health section, if you want to go further, we encourage you to read these recommended books: The Ultra Mind Solution (Mark Hyman) , Detoxification and Healing: The Key to Optimal Health (Sidney MacDonald Baker), Detoxify or Die (Sherry Rogers), What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Autoimmune Disorders (Stephen B. Edelson and Deborah Mitchell), and Treating and Beating Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (Rodger Murphree). They synthesize much of the information rather nicely.

Stowaway said:
Perhaps I do have something to contribute, and will never realize the value unless it is offered. I know that I value every member's experiences and observations when they are shared honestly and with good will.
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Everyone's input is valued, including yours. We look forward to seeing more of you. :)

Herondancer
 
Thank you for the kind greeting, herondancer.

I am familiar with Gurdjieff’s works since about 1985. The concept of strategic enclosure is new to me and I will follow where that leads. Thanks for the link. I am all for mastering the art of living is this world.

The “big five” reading list will take time to get through but I’m game to get started. Are any of these are available as e-books?

The topic of health and nutrition holds special interest for me, being in remission from non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and wishing to remain so. It is crucial to be able to distinguish fact from fantasy.
 
Hello everyone,
Its been a long while since I have spoken. I apologize.
If you remember, I lived in Oregon. Well, I now find my self in Texas of all places. Moms health went down so we are living with my brother to help care for her. A little culture shock. But we are adjusting. Anyway, I felt bad, reading the post about boardlurking.
I have gotten on the site and read and tried to keep up on things. I've finely put my login on perminent I think, so if I do want to dive in, I don't have to look up the password. So, I am going to make an effort. Am looking for work though, so most of my efforts are in that area right now. No excuses. Just an explanation.
Thank you Laura and everyone on the site. And a greetings to all the new folks. This is the plae to be.

Tarri
 
Tarri said:
Hello everyone,
Its been a long while since I have spoken. I apologize.
If you remember, I lived in Oregon. Well, I now find my self in Texas of all places. Moms health went down so we are living with my brother to help care for her. A little culture shock. But we are adjusting. Anyway, I felt bad, reading the post about boardlurking.
I have gotten on the site and read and tried to keep up on things. I've finely put my login on perminent I think, so if I do want to dive in, I don't have to look up the password. So, I am going to make an effort. Am looking for work though, so most of my efforts are in that area right now. No excuses. Just an explanation.
Thank you Laura and everyone on the site. And a greetings to all the new folks. This is the plae to be.

Tarri
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Aha! There you are! You've crossed my mind quite a few times, Tarri - good to know you're still around. :)
 
Hi Anart,
Ya, still marching along. It's funny. There have been so many pearls of wisdom I have gotten from you and alot of the others. Some I have actually put onto little business card like things and stick away in my wallet. I was looking at one of them just the other day. Its strengthening to be able to hear the echoes from those that touch you in a deep way. Learning who and what we are is a difficult journey. I need to remind myself that stopping for an hour to come here is not going to change the events in this life of mine except for the better. I miss this place.
Things are very difficult. I find myself looking over a cliff. I can't see where I can walk. Yet I feel the path before me. If I can keep these damn emotions out of the way long enough to sense what is before me, I could take a step. It is horrible in the grand way, that when you seek the answers, you must spill so much spiritual blood to just take that step.

I would almost delete this Anart. But seeing you on here, makes me remember that to find our way, we need to seek with those beside us.
I am definately going through a challenge. I think the most weakening emotion is helplessness. I can't seem to DO anything to make things work. I always felt that if you were trying to accomplish something and you kept getting knocked down, you were't paying attention to the thing that was right in front of you. But for the life of me, I cannot figure it out. You know how when one bad thing happens you handle it, the second time, well, its annoying. The third time it gets hard. I am on number 50. I mean to the LITTLE details things are going wrong. Is it an attack? At this point IA am beginning to wonder.Well,the page is now jumping all over the place as I type. I can't see a thing as I type so I suppose I will go. Know I'm a fighter. I won't quit. But I'm getting awful tired. Blelssings to the whole Group. Tarri
 
Tarri said:
Hi Anart,
Ya, still marching along. It's funny. There have been so many pearls of wisdom I have gotten from you and alot of the others. Some I have actually put onto little business card like things and stick away in my wallet. I was looking at one of them just the other day. Its strengthening to be able to hear the echoes from those that touch you in a deep way. Learning who and what we are is a difficult journey. I need to remind myself that stopping for an hour to come here is not going to change the events in this life of mine except for the better. I miss this place.
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I know it's been said a thousand times - so much that it likely is very, very easy to ignore - but 'networking packs a powerful punch'. We are nothing without each other - and that includes you.


Tarri said:
Things are very difficult. I find myself looking over a cliff. I can't see where I can walk. Yet I feel the path before me. If I can keep these damn emotions out of the way long enough to sense what is before me, I could take a step. It is horrible in the grand way, that when you seek the answers, you must spill so much spiritual blood to just take that step.
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With your first post, I could tell. Very difficult is likely an enormous understatement. Realize, first, that you are not alone - so many of us are in very, very difficult situations right now. Also, try to realize that it is in these situations that we have the most opportunity. I realize that is a horrible truth, but it is a truth.

As Laura's signature line says:

He who learns must suffer
And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget
Falls drop by drop upon the heart,
And in our own despair, against our will,
Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.
Agamemnon, Aeschylus



And - with that said, things can get so difficult that it seems impossible to lift our heads up and even try to see a way out. That's when we have to reach out to those who can hear us - have to.


Tarri said:
I would almost delete this Anart. But seeing you on here, makes me remember that to find our way, we need to seek with those beside us.
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I'm really glad you didn't delete it. I realize this might sound 'airy fairy' - but it's been my experience that it's true... there is a power to many minds, connected through colinearity, knowing about a situation.

There is a power to networking - in getting different input from different minds on any situation - it is as if other possibilities open up due to the attention of many people. I'm not saying that things magically change, any changes that occur always occur through effort - but possibilities open due to increased input and perspective. At least, this has been my experience.


Tarri said:
I am definately going through a challenge. I think the most weakening emotion is helplessness.
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So you know, helplessness has been a common affliction of late. Have you had a chance to read the most recent C's session?


Tarri said:
I can't seem to DO anything to make things work. I always felt that if you were trying to accomplish something and you kept getting knocked down, you were't paying attention to the thing that was right in front of you. But for the life of me, I cannot figure it out.
Click to expand...

Yes, I've often thought the same thing and it's true in some cases. In other cases, a difficult interval is upon you and you simply must keep pushing through until something 'gives' - it's the relentless effort, despite all the interference, that usually makes the difference (though one needs support for such things!)

Tarri said:
You know how when one bad thing happens you handle it, the second time, well, its annoying. The third time it gets hard. I am on number 50. I mean to the LITTLE details things are going wrong. Is it an attack? At this point IA am beginning to wonder.
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Perhaps - perhaps it succeeded in keeping you away from potential limitless support (the forum) for so long, but you've pushed through this far. Perhaps it's a period of horrid struggle to prepare you or to push you in ways you were unaware were necessary. Perhaps it just is and it's your lesson to manage as best you can. I - obviously - don't have the answer. All I do know is that we are here and, if at all possible, we'll help - if even in listening. There is a new section that is not publicly viewable - 'The Swamp' - where people can post about more personal situations without risk of having them show up on an internet search, so , if you think it might be worth it, feel free.

Tarri said:
Well,the page is now jumping all over the place as I type. I can't see a thing as I type so I suppose I will go. Know I'm a fighter. I won't quit. But I'm getting awful tired. Blelssings to the whole Group. Tarri
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It's okay to be tired - even VERY tired - and understandable. Just stick around, read, post... it's important, I think. :)
 
hi Tarri! was wondering what had happened to you. So glad you decided not to delete your message. Wishing you strength on your journey - and strength comes from networking.
 
Thank you Anart, Nomad,
Anart, I read your post and went offline to think. More to the point, to let your words sink in. Mentally shook the dust off my self, opened some windows in my poor brain and let the air and light in. Must say, it does feel alittle better. Its good to talk. And its good to listen. Yes, you said that, I know. I need to say it I think. One forgets we aren't alone when we isolate ourselves. Another symptom of the disease they keep flinging at us. To curl in and just survive. A nice TRAP that.
Tomorrow will be what it will. (Or today, its two in the morning.) I wanted to get back here to let you know I am standing and ready to go on. Because of something that came to me. This move to Texas was in a sense a death of everything I was and knew. The journey itself was something I would never have thought I, nor my brother or mom could have made. That it was made is amazing. I knew mountains were that tall and mighty. But.... To think of our ancestors and what they accomplished.

Back to my original thought. That perhaps this being such a life changing journey, instead of seeing what is happening to me as something to fight against, or fear, (though its is there still of course) perhaps the proccess is still happening. The death of Service to Self. After all, am I correct in learning that the feeling of NEED of cash funds, the NEED for self presservation, the NEED for anything that perpetuates the PERSONALITIES horrendous addiction to SURVIVE. Is that not Service to Self. And if I so strongly desire to become what I would be, Service to Others. If I truly want to serve, do not those parts of me have to be shed at some point. That so popular saying, only because it is so true. Be carefull what you ask for. So I think I have my head on straight. At the moment at least. Thank you so much. Anart, I would speak on that other link you provided me. Tarri
 
Glad to hear from you Tarri!

From your words above, I think you're going to be OK. :clap:

Wise words that could only have been spoken by someone who has been there and back:

One forgets we aren't alone when we isolate ourselves. Another symptom of the disease they keep flinging at us. To curl in and just survive. A nice TRAP that.
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Ask me how I know. I've been there repeatedly (not by conscious choice), but have ended up there: slowly sometimes, and fast other times.

Every time I had to struggle to remember that there's lots more out there than the little room in my mind that I've consigned myself to. It's like the Fall/Winter/Spring cycle, but you never suspect the Fall, and Winter roosts for a while until you notice that your bones are chilled, and then you yearn for Spring.

Thanks for your timely post. And the best of luck to you in your current situation. (You'll be fine!)
 
Azur,
So many names of those I remember and respect. Thanks, its good to hear from you. (And from those I have just met)
I watched the belly breathing and pipe breathing video this evening, (morning. It seems I keep seeing 1am or 2am before bed!!) I recieved good advice from several to do so. Glad I did. I missed alot when I was away.
So, much to work on, feels like I am being reintroduced to armor I forgot I even had on, and being taught how to scub and polish it up to working order again. I will promise to keep in touch. If only to return the favor of being helped off the ground and dusted off. To help each other. Good night. Tarri
 
Rest as well as you can Tarri. It's great that you've already had a look at the vids. The EE program is the best armor polish you will ever find.

As you work with the program, you can post your experiences here. Bo also did a wonderful FAQ compilation here.

Welcome back! :thup:

Herondancer
 
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