Boardlurker? Read this!!

[supriyanoel]

It is so hard to reveal myself when I hear a post like I've just heard about the person that just spoke of his struggles with addiction. My heart started pounding,and although I was advised to listen a while back,because you folks rightfully targeted that the speaker in charge was the predator ranting and roaring its feeble attempts at control,I just had to push reply before I found an excuse. I have also gone through a horrific time with alcohol,causing all sorts of instant disasters day after day,as I watched and saw how it took control. I supposed I really asked to get scared enough to be willing and able to really grow without reservations.I prayed for it to be distasteful and was in a serious state of surrender. And it happened. I started breathing again and able to read the posts again. and you are right. That one post,the one that made me start tearing up with gratitude for being able to find my voice and feel these feelings again, made all the difference of endind the day feeling less alone. Thank you,all of you. I get everything here I need if I allow it.

 

[supriyanoel]

Now I will tell you guys that a few posts designed to guide me, kicked up a furor that put me in fight mode, and that predator was infuriated that anyone should dare push those buttons in me. And the buttonswere so perfectly given that I lost the fight.AND WAS MAD!Its not that I could,NT HEAR.I just refused to listen . My only source of hope slapped me down. I needed a huge wake-up call . it was these messages from you very lively people that were having none of it that started a very important process to my understanding.And it was painful until I was ready. And scary because my ego was so in control.If I had been willing to be patient it may have gone a less painful way. I wasn't able to tell anyone what state I was in, I just wanted to slam my way in withput any inquiry and see what happened. Again ,I certainly got beaten and I'm glad someone or 2 of you ,and Laura payed enough attention to get to make me listen .And now I'm going to keep listening.It seems I have hit the jackpot when it come to those who understand me. I will try to continue to post ,and right now its not about trying to hide,since I am so susceptible now to self-deception,greed, and pride and the rest of the predators talk. I sense it doing pushups .I do the EE program and I am praying to stay humble.And my god try to find a real sense of humour instead of some of the nauseatingly fake self deprecation,and narcissistic torpor that even the big albeit hidden big"I " seems to sense.I hope this makes sense.I'm still a newbie and I am going back there also.I need to listen and I know it.

 

[Laura]

I will try to continue to post ,and right now its not about trying to hide,since I am so susceptible now to self-deception,greed, and pride and the rest of the predators talk. I sense it doing pushups .I do the EE program and I am praying to stay humble.And my god try to find a real sense of humour instead of some of the nauseatingly fake self deprecation,and narcissistic torpor that even the big albeit hidden big"I " seems to sense.I hope this makes sense.I'm still a newbie and I am going back there also.I need to listen and I know it.

Sounds to me like you caught a good glimpse of the predator/programs/buffers. If you can do it once, you can do it again and again and again. And that part that loves truth and that feels so weak and small will actually begin to grow and strengthen.

 

[Chet Baker]

chet,

On the one hand I think it's great you are participating! :) On the other hand, I'm unsure why you feel Galahad is being pushy or negative? Or why do you feel that the forum has a competitive ranking system? The number of posts in no way reflects a person's inner development or importance to the group, this is just a technical aspect of the forum.

hey RyanX,

words are to be interpreted and I'm glad you and the others who reacted to my comment showed that this forum is of a positive nature.
I guess I was just a little suspicious, after reading an article where laura was described as cult leader. I didn't buy into that, (did my own research)but something
remained in my subconscious I guess. the rest was just my school-competition-programming that I'm getting rid of right now, so I saw a threat on every corner.
I'm glad to be here :)

greets chet

 

[Infiniteness]

Last night I was going through the Cassiopeia Glossary and I came across the term "Networking". I knew about the concept but never learned the real importance of it and the way it was explained so clearly in the glossary, made things click for me. So I thought it might be a good reminder to post it up here on this thread and maybe the glossary term could posted in the front of the thread if the mods think its a good idea.

[quote author=Cassiopeia Glossary]

Networking

Whereas self-serving beings naturally form hierarchies with the strongest and most ruthless at the top, service to others beings would form networks. In the words of the Cassiopaeans, the concept of networking is a foretaste of 4th density STO.

To bring the idea into context, we can start with Gurdjieff's definition of a group: In a group, what is gained by one is gained by all and what is lost by one is lost by all. A group in this sense can only exist within the context of esoteric work. Such a group is free from disagreement not because of a command structure but because the same truths are seen by all. See the article on Esoteric, Mesoteric and Exoteric circles for more.

We can distinguish two types of group effects: The first is where the group descends to the level of the lowest common denominator, as happens in lynch mobs and other cases of mass hysteria. We can envision a situation where the whole group would rise to the sum total of the understandings and capacities of all members. The latter happens to a small degree in teams displaying good synergy. However, the imperfect quality of human communication and friction coming from personality dampens these effects and usually limits their scope to a well-practised area such as playing a team sport or playing in an orchestra.

The hope of esoteric work is to make these effects greater and more comprehensive. Achieving this is sometimes called the communion of saints. This goes beyond a social phenomenon and involves sharing the 'substance of knowledge' or 'higher hydrogens' generated in group work.

In general we can say that a group amplifies whatever is a consistently shared and applied principle in the group's work. This contains a catch: We often find, specially on the Internet, New Age groups that are in a sense 'open' but where the exchange degenerates if not into a shouting match then into a more subtle feeding or pleading or manipulating contest. It seems that internal work for purifying the signal and making the self first clear is a prerequisite for a group to amplify anything but subjectivity. For mixed, predominantly self-serving entities such as present day humans, indiscriminate sharing of everything simply makes noise. A great deal of attention is required for the participants to overcome first themselves and then act in a manner approximating STO oriented beings, thus not according to their default impulses. Again, determining what constitutes service to others in which case is its own question but a certain skill or sense for this can form via practice.

In practice, a network does not imply the interchangeability of all members. This is not achievable nor is it the goal. Having reached a similar level of development does not imply identity of personality or group think but does imply striving for seeing the same understandings. A group can involve specialization and contain teachers and students but is by definition a voluntary structure and does not exist for the benefit of any single member or subgroup. Instead, such a group may exist for performing a specific esoteric task, as may be required by the time and context.

The concept of giving back is emphasized by the 4th Way. Since the principle of service to others represents balance through the idea of serving self through serving others, this principle requires reciprocity in order to work. Balance cannot be legislated but it may occur naturally if the participants share the same direction, i.e. are collinear.

For 4th density harvestability, a network offers distinct advantages over working alone. The members can complete each other even though their own vibrational purity were not perfect. For graduating to 4th density STS, the aspirants must generally work alone since the very idea of service to self sees sharing as generally undesirable.
[/quote]

Link: http://glossary.cassiopaea.com/glossary.php?id=527&lsel=N

 

[The Mechanic]

Wow Infiniteness, thanks for that great piece on networking. It really makes a lot of sense to me. Guess I should do some Glossary as well.

I consider myself a forum lurker, as I have a post count of about 0.1 per day and have been on and off the forum many times. I've decided however to participate more, not in the least because of this thread, which made me think about why I don't post that much and do not really participate in this group. As with a lot of you my predator got the best of me many times. But no longer!

Thanks to all who wrote in this topic. Now on to my long overdue introduction post. :)

 

[Wunjo]

Hello,
Frustratingly, I am still a board lurker. I am just not sure how I am supposed to contribute. Through study, it is now, for me, an undeniable conclusion that one aspect of my growth is to break out of solitude. I am not a recluse but I do not actively contribute to sources outside my immediate circle. I realize that in addition to self pity and self loathing, this contractile STS nature is a huge chief feature.

At this point in the “game” I am beginning to feel less sure, less awake, and far more overwhelmed by the magnitude of what may or may not be approaching. I would like to be connected with something larger than myself that I believe in and work towards. I feel that I have hit some bizarre wall, where my mind has just sort of shut down regarding everything involved. Perhaps it is the level of the Work I am finding myself in, or maybe there is something actually “wrong” inside. I am not sure. What I do know is that my ability to assimilate anymore information has hit a wall, my mind has been the empty cavern for months now, ironically, at the time when I feel I wish to finally be an actual part of all this and relinquish my solo act.

Some posts are so huge it takes me days to read them, and add on five or six other embedded links and I could spend my life here reading, of which I am grateful but also moderately slow. In addition to the family, the job, the meditations, and the Big 5, I feel that by the end of a four day read, lurking is all I can do. Any hints on how to proceed? Any similar feelings of distress? I really respect those who contribute so helpfully and eloquently and I really don't want to add noise. Apologies if I have.

Thank You

 

[Ares]

i have had similar issues of feeling like i had nothing to contribute, which i have overcome now to a large extent. the thought i used to have were 'who would want to read my comments when there are others far more knowledgeable than i am?' and 'whatever really needs to be discussed has been done already, what could i possible contribute that is new?'. and that's quite effective at putting you back in your shell. over time i realized i was neither helping myself, nor helping support the network, so i pledged to write atleast 1 post every day :)
practically though, sometimes i manage to make a 3-4 meaningful posts a day, sometimes there isn't much time left after full time work, fitness, meals, and reading one of the recommended books or SOTT (as someone above has remarked). but i've learnt my lesson and i'll keep trying as hard i can to improve my contribution to the network no matter what!

 

[Ollie]

Hi Wunjo

Whether you know it or not, your post may be of help to someone – you are contributing by posting of your experiences, positive or otherwise.

… I am not a recluse but I do not actively contribute to sources outside my immediate circle. …

One way of moving forward may be to contribute in those areas of the forum that you feel comfortable. For example, your experiences of doing the E-E breathing programme, of doing the detox dieting, of programmes (buffers, limiting decisions – for example self-loathing and self-pity, feeling less sure, overwhelm, etc.) discovered, how they occur, what you think the triggers are, what you might do to overcome them from your collective experience to date.

… I would like to be connected with something larger than myself that I believe in and work towards. I feel that I have hit some bizarre wall, where my mind has just sort of shut down regarding everything involved. … What I do know is that my ability to assimilate anymore information has hit a wall, …

For your information, you are connected to something larger than yourself, merely by ‘contributing’ here, by being a member of the forum. The fact that you are aware that you ‘have hit some bizarre wall, where my mind has just sort of shut down regarding everything involved’ is a sign of progress, at least you are aware of something happening. One of Gurdjieff’s exercises was to get people to do something that the False Personality did not want to do. This is to go against the flow of the ‘likes’ of the false Personality. In your case, you have just done that by making this post.

Some posts are so huge it takes me days to read them, and add on five or six other embedded links and I could spend my life here reading, of which I am grateful but also moderately slow. In addition to the family, the job, the meditations, and the Big 5, I feel that by the end of a four day read, lurking is all I can do. Any hints on how to proceed? Any similar feelings of distress? I really respect those who contribute so helpfully and eloquently and I really don't want to add noise. Apologies if I have.

Your post is anything other than noise, as I said at the beginning, it may help someone in some way – large or small. Many of us started in a similar way, as evidenced in the earlier posts on this thread.

You may like to restrict yourself to the subjects that are of most interest to you, and post on those only. This is a first aim. The post may be short or long, eloquent or otherwise, just report your thoughts, experiences and comments – whatever they are. A second aim may be to set yourself a target of, say, making at least one post a day. As I was typing this moksha has made a post re targets, well spoken. :)

Have you posted your thoughts on any of the Big Five in the Book Review section? Just let us know what your experiences are, what you have discovered from reading these books and how they apply to you. A post has the possibility of helping someone, somewhere, often something that is other than the main subject of your post – it may trigger a thought, a connection that leads to say, the discovery of a programme, a buffer, etc.

A quote I often make in this thread is:

To learn and see you have to interact.

I look forward to interacting with you in the future. :)

This may help, or not.

Edit: Grammar.

 

[davey72]

Thank you Vulcan for this thread, and for everyone's replies. I have been trying to post due to what the c's said about networking. The problem is, i have trouble expressing myself, and always feel a little silly about what i write. or like i am hijacking a thread.
This has made me feel much better about the whole thing.
Thanx again. :)

 

[SolarMother]

i have had similar issues of feeling like i had nothing to contribute, which i have overcome now to a large extent. the thought i used to have were 'who would want to read my comments when there are others far more knowledgeable than i am?' and 'whatever really needs to be discussed has been done already, what could i possible contribute that is new?'. and that's quite effective at putting you back in your shell. over time i realized i was neither helping myself, nor helping support the network, so i pledged to write atleast 1 post every day :)
practically though, sometimes i manage to make a 3-4 meaningful posts a day, sometimes there isn't much time left after full time work, fitness, meals, and reading one of the recommended books or SOTT (as someone above has remarked). but i've learnt my lesson and i'll keep trying as hard i can to improve my contribution to the network no matter what!

Thanks for this posting Moksha. I too have been attempting to post more frequently, as far as posting to help, and you saying that you have overcome the issues of not posting to a large extent is inspiring to me.
More often than not, my posts (that seemed helpful) receive no reply, so I have no idea if I am: 1)not coming across clearly 2)not being helpful 3)posting from self-importance or 'trying to score points,' and all the other things that happen when posting.
I read on some thread that it was better to just learn the process (read threads/lurk?) and go with the flow for awhile if one felt 'invisible' or not contributing on the forum. That was good advice, as it should all happen organically with no forcing.
I have had the same thoughts as you and probably many here on the forum--as you stated above, such as:
'whatever really needs to be discussed has been done already, what could i possible contribute that is new?'

Like you, I am trying to make contributions to this lifeline/network, but most of the time I really do feel like I have not much to say that is a contribution or a help, or I become hesitant to post something because I cannot come across clearly in my writing, and things get misunderstood--or whatever.

I, like you, am also reading a lot of books, preparing meals, viewing SOTT whenever I can, exercising...taking care of a husband who is working very hard to build a house. I am also living between homes, feeling very unsettled. We all have something that is very hard to deal with it seems.

 

[Ares]

SolarMother, that was a pretty good-sized post in itself ;)

I understand your issues of feeling 'invisible' and being intimidated to post in threads where many elders are actively contributing - i felt the same and still do from time to time. It's natural for your posts to receive no reply sometimes as many people are discussing many things in a single thread, so don't let that bother you. as someone said earlier, i started by posting actively on issues that i liked (for me there were subjects on smoking, time travel etc. ) and am slowly building these up. as more forum members see you post in multiple threads, you will naturally come to have discussions and replies to your posts. don't worry about not sounding clear, or even not having anything important to say - the majority of posts in a thread are quite basic comments/opinions that anyone can make :) i found that as we have all been learning so many things and storing them in our heads, posting in the forum, replying to queries, or giving opinions on something services to develop our ideas and deepen understanding of the concerned subjects - plus you get better at communication AND it helps other members in the process :)

As i said earlier, i find pledging to atleast make 2-3 posts per day (or only 1 if short of time), if not more. is a good way to keep sustained involvement.

cheers!

 

[Aidylsun B.]

Well, here I am, again, reading why other members find themselves lurking and all the while asking myself why I’m doing the same thing - still. I realize how important it is to network but more than that, I realize that without member contributions, the forum wouldn’t be a forum at all.

I often feel I don’t have anything significant to add to a thread especially after reading the advice and information given by the experts. But, at the same time, I value and enjoy hearing what everyone else has to say, too. Members of the forum are so willing to share and I need to be as well.

 

[wanderer33]

Vulcan, don't you think that a heavy-handed statement such as your opening remarks is a little authoritarian and may scare the wits out of some potential posters?

 

[Aiming]

Vulcan, don't you think that a heavy-handed statement such as your opening remarks is a little authoritarian and may scare the wits out of some potential posters?

What exactly is heavy-handed, authoritarian or scaring about Vulcan's opening remarks? I think it's just bringing home the message that networking is very essential, and from the then following unfolding of this thread, you may see that what is holding off most people are really their predators -- the very thing that needs to be overcome/struggled against. Also, have you missed how boardlurkers are met with understanding and encouragement throughout this thread?

Judging from your question, it seems there were simply some programs triggered in yourself. What are these? What exactly are you afraid of? Uncover them and work against them. Network about them here, that's what this thread is for. Many have been boardlurking for a long time before they jumped in, it's nothing unusual and nothing 'bad', as long as one decides to find the roots of their withholding and working on them.. and jumping on board. This network can only live via people networking, and this thread is simply an explicit nudge.

FWIW