Boardlurker? Read this!!

[henry]

Lurking may be necessary for some people to build the confidence they need to participate. As you say, when we first arrive, we might perceive some of the remarks to be quite harsh. We can react to that badly as it can trigger many programmes within us. We are not accustomed to hearing these things about us, and in the past when people were direct and blunt and harsh, it was often meant to hurt.

"Well, I only said the truth!" is often the justification.



There is a passage in ISOTM where Gurdjieff talks about this kind of 'sincerity':

The opposite of internal considering and what is in part a means of fighting against it is external considering. External considering is based upon an entirely different relationship towards people than internal considering. It is adaptation towards people, to their understanding, to their requirements. By considering externally a man does that which makes life easy for other people and for himself. External considering requires a knowledge of men, an understanding of their tastes, habits, and prejudices. At the same time external considering requires a great power over oneself, a great control over oneself. Very often a man desires sincerely to express or somehow or other show to another man what he really thinks of him or feels about him. And if he is a weak man he will of course give way to this desire and afterwards justify himself and say that he did not want to lie, did not want to pretend, he wanted to be sincere. Then he convinces himself that it was the other man's fault. He really wanted to consider him, even to give way to him, not to quarrel, and so on. But the other man did not at all want to consider him so that nothing could be done with him.

That is by and large what we know of 'sincerity' in the world, among our 'friends', with our family.

So I think it is normal that some people need time to get the temperature of the water and see by the actions of the members here that this, perhaps at first glance, bluntness, is in fact the highest form of sincerity towards each other.

 

[Be Like Water]

One thing I find, I presently have 12 tabs open, each with a thread I find interesting, and have my own thoughts to contribute, but do not as I have no-where near got to the end of these threads and don't want to be repeating what might have been said, nevermind the predators mind whispering the worthlessness of said thoughts...,even if they are noise.... .

One big fear personally is that even when I see the relevance of what I post to said thread, objectivily it is unrelated or so obvious as to need no mentioning. But not objective, so onwards I post... ;D
More afraid of a world without mirrors and firepits than a good roasting

 

[Ben]

One big fear personally is that even when I see the relevance of what I post to said thread, objectivily it is unrelated or so obvious as to need no mentioning. But not objective, so onwards I post... ;D
More afraid of a world without mirrors and firepits than a good roasting

Consider that what might be obvious to you at that time might not be to somebody else, and they might find value in it. That is a fundamental part of networking as I see it. I have refrained from posting for this reason on many occasions, but what's the worst that could happen?

 

[luckyvet]

Are you a "cass boardlurker"? Yes? Then this definitely applies to you. And no, we are not interested in bored lurkers. :)

A couple of quotes to get you going.

A: Those individuals who still think that you can get something for nothing will find themselves blocked.

A: He who sits on fence gets splinters.
Q: (M) That is so true.
A: And they can be particularly nasty when one jumps off in haste upon realizing that fence sitters are prime targets for snipers.

I can't stress enough the importance of participating. All of you lurkers on the forum, all of you who read and then don't post, finding all sorts of excellent excuses, do you understand that you are hurting yourselves? Maybe you are here only to get the latest news from the Cs, or the latest bits from Laura. Part of you may think that you are special because of that, or that you'll be able to save yourselves because you have information that others don't have.

And maybe there is some information here that can help you in 3D, help you to better face a future that isn't looking too bright.

Maybe you think that because you are trying to apply the information there, alone in your corner of the universe, that you are doing the Work.

But at some point, you need to make a choice and get off the fence.

If we are going to pull our buns out of the fire, it takes a group. And if you aren't participating, then you aren't part of that group. And if you aren't participating, then maybe those who are won't be enough. The group might not be strong enough. Will you really want to look at yourself some day and ask "What if?"

Now check out the Forum Guidelines and if that is agreeable, come on in and get off that fence!!

Wow, thats really deep Vulcan59. You've got to give some to get some.
Thanks for posting this.

 

[AdamJM]

Lurking may be necessary for some people to build the confidence they need to participate.

this would correspond to how i felt when i first started off as i had very little understanding of the subjects. I thought it would be better if i learned the basics and gained at least a moderate understanding so i could interact better and more effectively. But, my intended interaction became drawn out more and more and although i had been capable of interacting i was still stuck in the frame that i wasn't ready, even though at the time my level of understanding would have been sufficient as to know what was being discussed. So thanks for this thread, it gave me the motivation to get involved and i hope others reading do the same. cheers, adam.



Edit - Quotation brackets

 

[AdamJM]

soz guys, this quoting malarkey takes a bit of getting used to, lol!

 

[Rich]

soz guys, this quoting malarkey takes a bit of getting used to, lol!

Yes, it does, but you'll get the hang of it in no time. An easy method is to just click the 'quote' button when replying to a post instead of the 'reply button', delete the bits inbetween the quotes that aren't needed and type your message below. - :)

 

[Kimber]

Hi Vulcan,

I debated long and hard with myself as to why I should or should not participate in this thread. I am a boardlurker, guilty, hands down. I Don't participate often, to be straight forward fear is the cause. I touched upon my reason for this particular fear recently in another thread--About David Icke and James Redfield. I have not mastered how to do a quote from another thread, so will do a cut and paste of my statement as follows;

[Back in 2001 and 2002 I read TWBS and All the articles on his website. I had composed an entire notebook on my 'take' of his body of work. Around Sept/Oct of 2003 there was an Article on his site, A critique of the Harry Potter' series. It contained examples of sts/sto in the story line. And it linked to The Cassiopaea Website. This is how I found the Cass Website. I would add that I do not remember who wrote the article on Icke's website in regards to to Harry Potter series and I was asked how I found the Cass site by a cass chat moderator when I attempted to join cass chat. I do not know if the moderator- K.S. investigated the link from Icke's site as she was very doubtful of my statements concerning the article and the link, also requiring that I write a thesis on 'The Wave' as a requirement to join. ]

I would like to state the facts that happened in this exchange with the Cass Mod. I sent the submission to join Cass Chat with the info on how I found Cass.

K.S.-the mod, asked more info on the article, I replied that I was sure that D.I. did not write it, that I could not remember who wrote it and suggested or asked if LKJ was the author? She said LKJ did not write this and if I wanted to join Cass Chat then I had to write an autobiography on myself and a thesis on 'The Wave.' At this point I got the feeling that She thought that I was being dishonest with her, but I also thought that maybe I was not ready to join, that I needed to devote more time to serious study of All of the material and suggested reading. So I did. Six months later I felt that I was ready to join, I really wanted to network, I wanted to discuss with others details, question and provide what info that I felt not only buttressed LKJ material, maybe even contribute. ( I have been questing alone since I was eleven yrs.old) So the contact was made again with the same Mod. Her reply was stiff. She stated that I had applied six months ago, and now I had a different email address. I needed to explain this and write the biography and write a thesis on 'The Wave" and write a thesis on 'The Adventures Series.' I really felt hurt, I thought that this Mod. was thinking that I was an agent sent to hurt LKJ in some way or I was part of the V.B. gang. I wanted to tell her that I would rather cut my hand off than raise it against Laura. Instead I complied with the requirements. I did not participate often in Cass chat, for reason that are different than this subject.

So I joined this forum in 2006. I posted a thread that turned out to be disrupting in a way and it was not my intention. It was
disrupting because in my ignorance I did not know that when a topic was lengthy that it could be transferred to the next or another page (2), and I stated that I would email anyone that was interested the entire article as I had done some cutting and pasting. My motive for posting was that I wanted other peoples opinions on the content,(something that I would not do now, as I would hope that I have gained more knowledge and insight and objectivity.)

In conclusion a forum member basically made it plain that I had a negative motivation for stating if anyone requested to see the entire article that I would email them. I felt that it was being implied that I was an agent Again. I didn't participate much after that , I stepped up my level of research and reading. I got my feelings hurt plain and simple, and because of this I have wasted 'time' subjectively feeling sorry for myself instead of Waking up and maintaining objectivity. Lesson learned.

Edit - Paragraphs

 

[vinny]

Hi Vulcan,

I debated long and hard with myself as to why I should or should not participate in this thread. I am a boardlurker, guilty, hands down. I Don't participate often, to be straight forward fear is the cause. I touched upon my reason for this particular fear recently in another thread--About David Icke and James Redfield. I have not mastered how to do a quote from another thread, so will do a cut and paste of my statement as follows;
<snip>.

In conclusion a forum member basically made it plain that I had a negative motivation for stating if anyone requested to see the entire article that I would email them. I felt that it was being implied that I was an agent Again. I didn't participate much after that , I stepped up my level of research and reading. I got my feelings hurt plain and simple, and because of this I have wasted 'time' subjectively feeling sorry for myself instead of Waking up and maintaining objectivity. Lesson learned.

hi Kimber, thanks for taking the time to write this, because it will serve as an example for others too. As don Juan says, fear is the warrior's first obstacle, and if you succumb to that then you can't go any further!

Many people here have had to overcome similar fear barriers to begin participating, but I think you'll find that you'll learn new and unexpected things about yourself as your participation here grows - the very first thing that'll hit you is just how much self importance can get in the way and can send you off course.

 

[truth seeker]

Hi Kimber,

I did a search for your intro post to understand the context of your post above and think I found it. I just wanted to say that I'm really glad you came back and encourage you to keep posting. You're more than welcome here.

 

[Nienna]

So I joined this forum in 2006. I posted a thread that turned out to be disrupting in a way and it was not my intention. It was
disrupting because in my ignorance I did not know that when a topic was lengthy that it could be transferred to the next or another page (2), and I stated that I would email anyone that was interested the entire article as I had done some cutting and pasting. My motive for posting was that I wanted other peoples opinions on the content,(something that I would not do now, as I would hope that I have gained more knowledge and insight and objectivity.)

In conclusion a forum member basically made it plain that I had a negative motivation for stating if anyone requested to see the entire article that I would email them. I felt that it was being implied that I was an agent Again. I didn't participate much after that , I stepped up my level of research and reading. I got my feelings hurt plain and simple, and because of this I have wasted 'time' subjectively feeling sorry for myself instead of Waking up and maintaining objectivity. Lesson learned.

Hi Kimber, and well met!

I would like to congratulate you on overcoming your predator's mind.

It's funny how desperate the General Law is to keep us blind and in our place once we start to stir from our slumber. The fact that you have realized just what was happening to you from your own programs is a sure sign that you are on the way to self-knowledge.

As Nomad said, fear and self-importance are two of the hardest programs to get under control. You've made a good start. Thank you for deciding to join in and give it another go.

If you have any questions or worries, let us know. We are here to help the "real" you.

 

[Vulcan59]

Hi Vulcan,

I debated long and hard with myself as to why I should or should not participate in this thread. I am a boardlurker, guilty, hands down. I Don't participate often, to be straight forward fear is the cause. I touched upon my reason for this particular fear recently in another thread--About David Icke and James Redfield. I have not mastered how to do a quote from another thread, so will do a cut and paste of my statement as follows;

<snipped>

In conclusion a forum member basically made it plain that I had a negative motivation for stating if anyone requested to see the entire article that I would email them. I felt that it was being implied that I was an agent Again. I didn't participate much after that , I stepped up my level of research and reading. I got my feelings hurt plain and simple, and because of this I have wasted 'time' subjectively feeling sorry for myself instead of Waking up and maintaining objectivity. Lesson learned.

Hi Kimber,

Thanks for sharing and having the courage to write your story. I am glad that you learnt something about subjectivity from the "drama" that you had to go through. I hope that the many other boardlurkers out there, will benefit from reading your story. :)

 

[Manu]

Hi Kimber, and well met!

As Nomad said, fear and self-importance are two of the hardest programs to get under control. You've made a good start. Thank you for deciding to join in and give it another go.

If you have any questions or worries, let us know. We are here to help the "real" you.

Thank you all for contributing to this valuable thread. I am also guilty of board-lurking and struggling to become more involved in networking. My predator's mind fear of posting is quite amazing. It will come up with a hundred different excuses not to participate. And it's always the same programs: not ready to network, not knowledgeable enough, have to spend more time reading and learning, fear about the replies I might get (self-importance?), etc. etc.

I have been doing the EE program since it was released and lately I've started to note an increased urge to really start networking. The predator's mind always wins but frankly I have had enough! As today is new years eve, I've made a new year resolution: lose the fear and self-importance and start networking!

Thank you all

 

[Nienna]

Thank you all for contributing to this valuable thread. I am also guilty of board-lurking and struggling to become more involved in networking. My predator's mind fear of posting is quite amazing. It will come up with a hundred different excuses not to participate. And it's always the same programs: not ready to network, not knowledgeable enough, have to spend more time reading and learning, fear about the replies I might get (self-importance?), etc. etc.

Yep! It is truly amazing, isn't it? Fear and self-importance, the two most self-limiting programs out there, in my opinion. They are insidious, evil and self-defeating. You are catching on to them, I see.

I have been doing the EE program since it was released and lately I've started to note an increased urge to really start networking.

That's very interesting to see. This should inspire more to do the EE program more consistently. It goes to show just what a powerful program the Eiriu Eolas is. Something that can help you to defeat your predator's mind. How cool is that?

The predator's mind always wins but frankly I have had enough! As today is new years eve, I've made a new year resolution: lose the fear and self-importance and start networking!

Thank you all

I'll drink to that - pure, distilled water that is.

 

[Pierre]

The predator's mind always wins but frankly I have had enough! As today is new years eve, I've made a new year resolution: lose the fear and self-importance and start networking!

It sounds like an excellent resolution for 2010!

Hope to read you soon.