psychegram
The Living Force
I have a question on navigating social life. Are any members of this forum in the UK experiencing increased social pressure, be it unspoken, that makes them feel uncomfortable or the odd one out not having being vaccinated or intending on being vaccinated?
I ask as I'm seeking some advice on how to conduct myself in these increasing weird times.
I've been avoiding meeting "friends" face to face since the government unlocked most of the economy mostly due to the fact that I find it hard to pretend everything is okay when it isn't. In addition I'm not particularly keen giving my personal detail to businesses such as pubs or restaurants for me to buy stuff from them and as these are the places people usually arrange to meet I always decline coming up with various reasons for doing so. Lastly, I know from discussions during the run up to the mass vaccinations that I'm the odd one out amongst my "friends" with regard the lockdowns, vaccines and government. In these times when I think all have taken up their jab offers I don't feel comfortable meeting to socialize as I don't really want to get stuck into those conversations. There's also a thing now where I feel the vaccinated are looking to convert the unvaccinated and I don't really want to engage in these sorts of conversations.
In any case, as a result of all the above, I've mostly been keeping myself to myself and chilling at home, hanging out with my partner etc. However, I'm also conscious that my partner wants me to get out more and socialise so I'm in a bit of a weird situation where I'm feeling pressure to meet up with "friends" but then I know I'll be subjected to pressure during these meet ups and it's feeling a bit weird. For sure I feel it's going to get dangerous to openly admit you are not vaccinated and are not intending on getting vaccinated. In essence it puts a target on your back for the future where it's becomes open season for the unvaccinated as I feel is the direction the UK is going.
So anyways, the main reason I'm writing this is with the summer of sports approaching, starting with European football championships, people want to meet up and socialise whilst watching games. There's 3 hurdles here, the first is meeting up in businesses involves you giving away your personal details either to track and trace or to the business, the second is the majority or most of who you'll be meeting are vaccinated or will be getting vaccinated, the third is the weird awkward social situation that will inevitably arise about your personal vaccine status. E.g before any if this, get a hold of this message and to be honest, I felt I had to lie in my response which I did just because I couldn't deal with the follow up if I said otherwise... it's already loaded with being called an "anti vaxxer" etc and all the rest of it
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Anyways, what should I do... should I be meeting up with "friends" to watch football and / or socialise bearing all the above? I need some feedback. I'm happy to be a hermit if I'm to be honest until this whole thing blows over but I'm not sure if that's me just imprisoning myself on behalf of the propaganda without anyone having to physically imprison me. I'm also finding that I'm not really keen to spend too much time with the jabbed... It's funny seeing all these propaganda about how people should disavow those who are unjabbed and I'm like, actually, I'm not keen on the jabbed so happy to live in a parallel reality where hopefully we aren't being discriminated against? Still keeping my eye out on the country that will be the shining light in all these so I can start planning immigration to a safe haven.
Personally, I haven't bothered hiding the fact that I'm not vaxxed and do not plan to be, at least not from those who know me relatively well. If they ask I just laugh and say I'm doing my part for The Science by staying in the control group. I haven't gotten much pushback or attempts to shame me into it, but I suspect that's because anyone who knows me, knows that won't work - that I don't remotely care what they think, am entirely comfortable being in disagreement with every other person in the room, and that attempts to change my mind when it's made up are just going to result in an argument in which I happily make my interlocutors look stupid. "Happily" because I enjoy arguing.
In short, there are advantages to being a known asshole.
The only attempt to persuade me so far, if that's what you can call it, was a couple of months ago when the mystery juice first became available. A friend - a nice liberal lady, and I'm not being sarcastic, she's a genuinely lovely person - messaged me to ask if I'd been vaxxed, and if not, if I wanted a ride as she was going soon. I simply said no not yet, no thank you, and have fun! And that was that. She got the message that I wasn't interested, and dropped it; no unpleasantness necessary on my part.
That said I have lied once or twice. For example, getting in an Uber recently, I noticed the driver putting his mask on, and told him he didn't have to wear it if he didn't want to. He replied that he had to, company policy, but it was fine with him if I didn't. "After all, you're vaccinated right?" "Of course," I replied, since that got me out of wearing the mask.
So, my basic take is:
- honesty is somewhat situational in this instance; much as I hate lying, it does reduce friction a bit
- social pressure is only applied if people think it will work; if they know full well it's wasted effort, they generally don't bother
The latter point is basically one of cost-benefit analysis. If people decide the social/emotional cost of pressuring you is disproportionately high compared to the "benefit" of recruiting you into their cult, they're less likely to make pests of themselves. But this does require being willing to be a jerk when necessary.
Now, I have certainly noticed a distance opening up between myself and others over this and related issues. It's not something I can really blame them for - at least in my case, there hasn't been any mean girls "you can't sit with us" nonsense. It's more on my end: knowing that they're in the cult, and that nothing I can say will change that, it isn't really possible to be completely open with them about what I really think. So conversation tends to revolve more around trivial matters than the great issues of the age. But for me, that's really just a mild intensification of a dynamic that's applied for a very long time now, given the enourmous gulf that has developed between my worldview and the Official Narrative as regards ... more or less everything.
Luckily I also have (much closer) friends with whom I can really discuss things. That's essential really.