What I'm going to share stems from reading and synthesizing a great number of posts on this thread. Almost everyone on this thread has contributed material that helped me to "crystallize" something deep within me that may be useful to share with others. I do want to thank Luc, Aragorn, and Mandatory Intellectomy, especially, for sharing portions of their souls and struggles that resonated very deeply within me. I will also post this on my introductory thread.
There is a question many here have asked of themselves lately: if it really comes down to it and things get pushed to - or beyond - the limits of sanity, do I have a "line in the sand" that I will not allow myself to be pushed past, whatever the cost?
When I read that for the first time I had a very visceral reaction: I first felt overpowering anger, then sadness; then I had a physical, shuddering release accompanied with tears, followed by what I can only describe as an internal resolve that there really IS something, or some things, that I will not consent to even if death were promised me were I to resist. But nothing concrete came up for me right away, so I meditated on what it was that caused that reaction.
Over the last few days I realized that I have at least two such lines. The first: if our government (in the USA), whether state or local, rescinded the second amendment and demanded people give up their guns - and then threatened to remove them by force, if necessary - I would resist. This would be a violation of the Bill of Rights; but more so, it would also be a fundamental violation of the divine right each loving, caring human being has to self-preservation and protection of their loved ones. I would heed the lessons of Solzhenitsyn ("Gulag Archipelago") in the face of such tyranny were it ever brought to my front door.
With that realization I identified the source of some of the anger I felt originally. But there was no sadness with the recognition of that first line in the sand, just a firm resolve. However: I still felt a LOT of anger, as well as that deep sadness, and even helplessness to a degree. There was something even deeper still to dredge up.
Then I remembered what many here had said about forced vaccinations.
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Time for some background. (Some of what I am sharing here is on my first post.)
I have a Master's degree in Molecular Microbiology and Genetics (UT Texas-Houston, 2000). I got that degree while working in a Level II biohazard lab in a doctoral level program. It is an anthrax lab. I worked in concert with Los Alamos National Laboratories biowarfare division. My project was funded by the CIA (I was vetted before being accepted into the program) and was ultimately signed off on by former Texas Senator Phil Gramm, the reptile who repealed the Glass-Steagal act which contributed greatly to the economic crash of 2008 (and ultimately, now).
While there, I had many experiences that convinced me the biowarfare field was just not for me. I left with a Master's and went back into Environmental Toxicology, the field I still work in presently. But what I learned there was absolutely crucial for my later, and current, understanding.
I *earned* what I know.
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The anger immediately surfaced when thinking about forced vaccinations, along with feelings of righteous indignation. Where did that come from? Was it warranted, I asked myself?
The anger and resolve I felt immediately upon asking myself that question, as well as the waves of disgust that arose (some towards myself), served as positive affirmation: forced vaccinations are an evil more than worthy of resistance, because:
- I believe that I have accumulated enough knowledge and the background over the last twenty years of intense study to understand what vaccinations really are: they are a violation not only of the human body, but of personal sovereignty - and especially, this: they are a fundamental, parasitic, intentionally invasive attack not only upon the physical body, but also upon the conscious understanding of how the human immune system actually works.
This has been deeply ingrained not only upon doctors, but through them the masses due to an incremental, systemically enforced inDOCTRination of medical students who have been forced to learn and regurgitate reams and reams of rote material. They then apply what they have "learned" to solve illnesses without actually ever doing one iota of personal investigation into those who taught them, or how the information they learned was acquired, or how (and by whom) it was accepted as "official dogma" - or by even asking questions about their teachings when their "applied knowledge" can not help their charges.
(Not you, Gaby!)
And these bastards who think they know better than me want to stick me with their damn "vaccinations" in order to make sure we are all "safe" due to this fallacy called "herd immunity"? WTF?? What the hell good is herd immunity when the very vaccines you are given make YOU a possible agent of infection??
GO TO HELL.
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Some more background.
When I was born my mother was only 16; my father, 19. My mother, though she loved me, was too young to have learned who she was; and she was, in turn, dominated by my father. My father was from a Catholic family, which is the only reason why I was not aborted. He never wanted me, and he treated me that way throughout all the years we were together (he died when I was 13). He was also a violent alcoholic.
But I learned a LOT from my childhood. I learned how to be present in every single moment because I HAD to be able to tune into how my father felt the entire time that I was around him. I had to know what I must do in order to be "safe" around him so I didn't get yelled at or beaten. I learned that I could NEVER let my attention waver, not even once. It was as if I lived on the doorstep of DAATH, forever standing on the edge of the yearning void, and I had to learn how to stand in my own I AM presence in order to stave it off.
I *earned* this knowledge.
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So: why do I feel so much anger, sadness, and helplessness when considering the possibility that enforced vaccinations may be coming down the pike?
Because I KNOW what they are, and what the goals of those promoting them are, and that those who would be tasked with forcing them upon us are people who have accepted what they have been told without ever once even questioning what they have been told to believe. But I know also that those same people, had they been presented the truth from the start, would NEVER try to force their will upon us because they are fundamentally good at their core. THAT is what I find so frustrating, and why I feel so helpless. What can one do when those around you are trained not to question anything that they are made to learn? But also this: is the fault really with them? Or with the system that trained them, and those who have made it so?
The anger I feel, however, is real. Because I have spent so much time trying to understand not only vaccines, but reality in general, and how we have all arrived at this time and space.
I have EARNED what I know, and to have a bunch of psychopaths force otherwise caring people to enforce their LIES upon me, possibly to my death, because these people have been made to believe fundamental lies about reality that they equate with TRUTH - and which they would enforce upon me to our supposed "betterment", when it is really *I* who knows the real TRUTH (well, I think...), because I HAVE put in the "time"???
I WILL STAND AGAINST THIS WITH ALL OF MY BEING. I WILL HOLD THE LINE AND STAND AGAINST THE VOID. This is who
I
AM.
I *EARNED* my knowledge. I do not deserve to have to deal with people so fundamentally misinformed, when I KNOW that had times been different they could have benefited from what I have to teach.
Is this what it means to "grow a soul"? To find a truth so real to yourself that it can not be denied, even to your potential death, were you forced to recant it? Is this like the truth that Giordano Bruno knew that he could not deny before he was burned to death? Because if this is so, then I am there, right now.
I EARNED THIS.
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An interesting aside.
If they come for me, I will stand as Gandalf stood against the Balrog in the mines of Moria. I will not waver. I will be present in each and every moment. I will try to do better than Gandalf did, and not relax my attention even one moment - which is ultimately what allowed him to be taken down into the abyss with his enemy, when he looked away before the Balrog fell beyond his reach. But even then: when Gandalf fell, because of who and what he was - he became MORE than who he had been. He was true to his charges, and to himself, so he returned from the abyss an even better version of who he had been.
I believe that if one can stay ever present in each and every single moment, even in the times of greatest adversity - a way will open; a door will become visible, where one can find shelter and sustenance. I believe this with every fiber of my being. But I also know that to be so vigilant at this level of reality may not be a possibility. But so what: that does not mean it can't be tried. And if you fail? If you have been true to yourself and yours, and been all that you can be, then it doesn't matter. You have crystallized your soul.
There are several lessons that "Gandalf in Moria" have given me beyond what I just shared.
The first is: my biggest enemy is ME.
It is up to ME to be present in each and every moment. It is up to ME to discern what the truth is, at all times. I must learn to understand and live my "I AM" presence; and TRUST my inert knowingness. If I am ever present with my thoughts, I will not betray myself. NO enemy can penetrate my space, EVER, if I am vigilant - and I am the only one to blame for a lack of same.
But I also know this: noone is ever perfect, especially in this current 3D world. To be eternally vigilant is an enormous and impossible task in this reality. I know that I may fail. And it is then that I must master the one thing that I have found hardest to master for myself when that happens: I must learn to FORGIVE MYSELF. Always.
And the last thing I have learned, just recently: I can not expect to ever know all of what I need to know, and what I need to face, by doing it alone. I need to share with others who are on the same path, who are equally vigilant, and who are equally committed to knowing the TRUTH. And the TRUTH is what I, and we, must *always* try to discern, in each and every moment. Always, and forever.
This knowledge, I EARNED.
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I know I've thrown a lot of "I"'s in the above passages. Especially in regards to saying over and over again that the knowledge that I have, "I EARNED." For some, that might seem like the trappings of STS - and it could be, except for this fact: every single thing that I learned for myself, I have tried to share with others. Every single thing.
Remember that video after 9/11 when Colin Powell thrust a vial in the air, saying that it was anthrax and that Iraq had biological weapons of mass destruction, and we needed to go in there to stop them? America invaded Iraq based on those assertions.
After the second invasion of Iraq (the first being the first Gulf War), in the end the only thing that United Nations inspectors found re: "biological warfare agents" were some vials of Bacillus thuringiensis, an "anthrax-related bacteria". Which is true; it is in the same family of organisms (along with Bacillus cereus, often found as a causitive agent of food poisoning). But: Bacillus thuringiensis has been used for a long time as an agricultural agent, often sprayed to destroy moths and other insects that infest certain crops. And it is (mostly) harmless to humans in that form. They never found any weaponized bacteria there; the entire invasion was based on a LIE. But because Bt is related to anthrax, no one cared - even though there was NEVER any threat.
That made me wake up to the lies, and also to my own involvement: I have benefited materially from the "Iraq has biological agents" meme, as I got my degree because of the supposed "Iraqi threat". I have my current job due to that Master's degree. Believe me when I say this: to this day, I have a hard time looking in the mirror because of this. I am who I am, partially because of a lie. And that is literally very hard to face.
But after that, I DID try to share my knowledge about that fiasco with others on-line to anyone who would listen. I STILL do that when I can. But in the meantime - around 2012, I became very sick. I went to see a doctor, and they found a precancerous lesion on the back of my throat. Also: I had a hard time keeping food down, and I often had blood blisters appear on my body and in my mouth after eating certain foods.
After eating corn chips one night and noticing that all of the skin on the roof of my mouth sloughed off, I decided to see a Chinese doctor instead of one from Kaiser. She looked at me and told me one thing: STOP EATING CORN. So I did. And I healed, completely. And I started doing some research...
It turns out that GMO corn has had genes coding for bacterial resistance grafted into its genome, and the biggest one is BT toxin from Bacillus thuringiensis - and, it has now been directly implicated in a number of illnesses, especially immune system problems. And now this was affecting me...
...me, my health ruined by Bacillus thuringiensis,
...WHICH WAS THE SUBJECT OF MY MASTER'S THESIS.
Talk about a wake-up call.
After that happened I started drilling down into the science behind everything that I had learned, and putting together dots that built up a picture that sickened me. During that time I started to UNLEARN everything that I thought I knew, which had to be done if I were to ever know the TRUTH. But I did that. And: ever since then, I have tried to share everything that I have learned with anyone who was willing to listen. That continues to this day. And I share all that I have learned about not only anthrax, but vaccines, GMO's, and all related things on-line.
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So, what now? What can I do, knowing what I do, about this world and how everyday caring people are programmed to believe lies?
Simple. I can PRAY.
I can pray that those in this world who are of pure love, intention, and soul be made aware of the TRUTH, in whatever ways that they are willing and able to receive it.
I can pray that the TRUTH then be presented in forms acceptable by those who would wish to know it in ways that do not violate their free will.
I can pray that all those pure souls of this world that have been deluded, lifetime after lifetime, by negative forces that they receive the truth that their higher selves have tried to give to them all along.
I can pray that all the evil that those who have led humanity astray becomes undone, and that the truths that they withheld become available to all willing to see them.
I can pray that all unbalances over the millennia become rectified in the best possible ways for all concerned.
And I can also pray that all of us here that are now awake and aware of all these imbalances realize that what is happening now, is that humanity as a whole is transitioning away from:
I. AM.
Instead, we are now collectively heading towards a new song of being - and that song goes like this:
I AM.
WE ARE.
... All he's trying to do is help... Why don't people just accept his help? 
Please spare a thought for Mr Vaccine. He just wants to help you by giving you one of his vaccines.
thehill.com
nypost.com
www.digitaltrends.com
www.theverge.com
www.cnet.com
flipboard.com
www.chicagotribune.com
www.forbes.com
Besides, I'm all in for trying to respect others free will, it's the right thing to do, everyone is entitled to make his own choices and learn his own lessons. I agree with other of our brothers and sisters who mentioned here that it's not that we have to save the world or anything, defending and spreading the truth without making yourself a target that is what we can do, who will be interested to listen, to open their eyes and see what's going on around them it's up to them, that's it, no anticipation whatsoever.
