Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

I have a quick question. My face and especially my nose get cold while I'm doing the EE program. I started draping a thin scarf over my head (its see-through). This traps the air I exhale around my face and keeps my face and nose nice and toasty. However, I wonder if I'm trapping toxic air that is escaping from my lungs and re-inhaling the toxins on the next breath? Any thoughts on this?

Also after Monday night EE, I also felt warm sensations around my 3rd eye, and my hands and forearms felt light, warm, and soft...hard to explain really...almost like they weren't there but they functioned normally. All night I was dreaming about being with a group of people exploring underground networks of caves with rivers. We all had a feast there by candle light and discussed spiritual ideas. My whole dream time felt very "busy".

This morning I observed an "I" wanting to control and criticize all sorts of trivial things around me. It was very empowering to observe this as a separate "i"... its not me!

My back pain is less, but I am also currently getting regular rolfing sessions so I'm not sure what is the source of the improvement.

I am very grateful to everyone for sharing and to those whose hard work brought this forward. Thank you!

Salud,
Tree
 
gaman said:
I haven't posted an update in a while and I just caught up on reading the latest updates. Very encouraging!

About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I was at a stage/state where it seemed that my mind was working on stuff while I slept. I can't even guess at the nature of the "stuff" but I would awaken a lot with that feeling.

I backed off the full program twice a week and am just doing the pipe breathing and meditation because I felt like I was coming apart at the seams in many ways, and also I couldn't muster the will power (if that is the correct term) to do the full program.

Pretty much the same thing happened to me about 3 weeks ago, except that my mind was 'working on stuff' all the time. I wasn't really aware of it at first and during this time I made a post here which was so far away from what I originally meant to say that it was just 'noise'. It was only a few days later that it became even more intense and was so noticeable that I finally realized what was going on. It was something like when a computer is so overloaded with programs 'working in the background' that it is very, very slow and 'flakey'.

When I realized what was going on I discontinued the EE program entirely for a few days because at that point I felt that enough was already going on within me and didn't want to add 'any more'. After a few days I resumed nightly meditation and then when I was certain that whatever 'processing' was happening within me had either finished or subsided to a low enough level that it was no longer noticeable I resumed the full programs on Mondays and Thursdays.

I have also found that seemingly trivial memories have been surfacing - sometimes from long-ago events. At least they would have not seemed to be of very great importance in my life until they 'surfaced'. It seems to me that most, or even all of them, are related to things I either did which I should not have or things which I should have done but didn't. It seems to me that these little pop ups of memories of past events are like little 'mini lessons' which are showing me where I have made mistakes in the past and maybe changing how I can best interact with people in a more positive way. That 's what it seems like at any rate.

As of now, well, I think that the best way to describe how I am currently feeling is 'refreshed'. I am not sure if that is the best description of how I am currently feeling or not, but perhaps another way of saying it is 'relieved of some things'. Maybe that is closer.
 
gaman said:
Thanks! I've been taking up to 6 mg melatonin and 150mg 5-htp around 9pm at night for the last few nights and it seems to be having a slow positive effect -- if I can stay awake during the day. I'll start taking the 5-htp earlier in the day.

I take my 5-htp in divided doses in the day: 200 mg after lunch and 200 after dinner. Then, at bedtime I take melatonin, GABA and magnesium malate. I found that taking the 5-htp AT bedtime didn't work because it needed time to get into my system and I have to take it with food or it upsets my stomach.

gaman said:
Also, I want to mention one other thing that has been happening to me. I can't believe I didn't elaborate this in my earlier post. It seems very dangerous spiritually, and is like something is trying to flip a switch in my mind to put me totally back to sleep as far as seeing and feeling what is really going on. It is almost like something is trying to shift my paradigm back to the asleep view. I've been having to try to reinforce myself by re-reading High Strangeness, et. al. It is working but right now it is a very hard fight and I think part of that has to do with letting protection, vigilance, and discipline slip (i.e. eating poorly again, being sick and depressed, falling into poor habits, etc.).

That's not terribly unusual. You need to make it as easy on yourself as possible. Instead of beating yourself up about slippages, just know that they happen and what really counts is just moving past them and getting back on track. Talk to yourself as if you were your best friend.

gaman said:
I have a pattern of being very weak willed when it comes to self-discipline over a period of time (particularly when the fervor/newness wares off). I get on a bandwagon, start improving quite well, and then crash in flames. If anyone else here is like me in this regard, then I would recommend keeping a very close eye on yourself to notice pressure to fall "back asleep" that can sneak up on your when you're distracted with seeming failure (and the negative-introject screaming at you).

Like I said, be gentle with yourself. If you think you are slipping too much, maybe you are trying to do too much at once? Concentrate on just doing the meditation at night before going to sleep and if you can do that, you can consider yourself doing the most important part of the program. That way, if you have other slip-ups, you can say to yourself: at least I'm doing the most important part. And keep in mind that IF you do this most important part, all the rest will follow naturally in time! The principles of the POTS are being encoded into you in this meditation and your subconscious will gradually become so permeated with these principles that it will stop sabotaging you. In other words, it IS as easy as can be: all you have to do is lie down on your bed, put your headphones on, and relax while listening and then drift off to sleep. Everything else is just gravy and will come naturally as you proceed.
 
forge said:
Can't sleep at 4:30am! What is going on? Suggestions please?

I did the EE breathing program Tuesday evening, had no problem at all to fall asleep almost immediately, (stressed these days) was tired at 11:00pm anyway. I awakened refreshed, still in the dark? Head surprisingly clear, thoughts clear, with a fresh mind i had not like a "Dark Hour of the Soul" session but rather it's reverse, the "Analysis Hour of the Soul" i could think over what happened in the last few days of trying to get a job. What have i done, what do to for better outcome.

Found Laura advising taking htp. It's 5-HTP, right? Not on the market in Hungary. I guess this is only an isolated accident, always had problems with too much libido anyway, this could be just a side effect. Of the "waking up"s at night this is the most intense. Its better not to become like Americans, living on anti-depressants, right? :/ It's no news awakening at night, always did that but had no problems falling asleep again and getting up refreshed in the morning before.

If you can't get 5-htop, just eat turkey for dinner. That helps to make you sleepy.

forge said:
Now becoming smarter i guess it's high time to understand SI-12? Recently i wondered is it possible for me converting sexual energy to be available to higher emotional or higher intellectual centres [if there]?

I think you may be putting too much pressure on yourself. The most practical way of dealing with this kind of energy is being creative and active during the day doing what you love. Writing, painting (even painting walls or houses), sculpting, gardening, cleaning, refinishing furniture, building things, etc can all be ways of utilizing creative energy AND motor center energy so there is no build-up. If that doesn't work then certainly the usual means of relieving that pressure are normal. If you are in a relationship, that part is easy enough. If you are not in a relationship, a little care needs to be taken.

It really is terrible that our culture both sexualizes everything and, at the same time, makes it shameful and bad. Sex is normal. And for a souled individual, like everything else "normal" about the physical life that has been degraded, our attitudes toward sex need to be "spiritualized." That is the aim of working on the self.

If you must relieve the pressure of the libido, try to avoid such things as pornography or degrading fantasies that might create barriers between you and a future, healthy relationship. When people engage in the degradation of the opposite sex, even in their minds, a lot of energy is being wasted and impossible fantasies are being created about the "perfect woman" who is clearly only perfect physically. And, if any of the women in "those magazines" were spiritually inclined, they would not be there. And, the fact that they are there speaks very strongly against them being spiritual at all. So, you don't want to tie your imaginings to visual images that are false. Mouravieff even speaks about the "attractiveness" of the pre-Adamic women... lovely soulless beings. How can that be attractive? How can any souled woman, spiritual woman, who is ordinarily endowed compete with those soulless beauties set up as objects of physical lust?

They cannot. And let me tell you something. When true love is there, however the loved one looks becomes THE standard for beauty.

Work on the work, work on the self, work on what interests you and, in the course of normal events, you may very well meet someone who is also doing what you are doing and with whom you can have a healthy, spiritual, mental AND physical relationship.

After all, if you want to meet someone who is interested in the same things you are, then you have to be actively doing them - and so does she - in order for your paths to cross. Also keep in mind that there are pathologicals tossed into the midst to lead astray, so they have to be watched out for.

The best thing to do for now is to work on the self, work on what interests you, and forget about romance for the time being - just relieve the pressure if necessary. If you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, and if you are ready, the Universe has a way of giving you what you need.
 
Laura said:
The best thing to do for now is to work on the self, work on what interests you, and forget about romance for the time being - just relieve the pressure if necessary. If you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, and if you are ready, the Universe has a way of giving you what you need.

Your words are the best my mother could have told me, thank You from my heart! :jawdrop: The Prayer got me finally so far in communion that your advice seems realizable. For long i sought a resolution and my stubbornness blinded me. If i had past lives, one memory of being a priest resonates especially strong inside. Permeates my life. Should have been done so long ago that i only rage and fume thinking about why the delay?! :curse: :headbash: Maybe now i can effect my absolution.
 
I just did the entire program again for the first time in 3 weeks, and doing any breathing at all in 2...had a bad case of the flu/sniffles and couldn't do it without choking to death, not being able to breathe through my nose at all, sneezing, or having snot all over the place (ewwww, but true). I was out of town on a gig before and waited to take echinacea and Vit C until I got home, it was too late and I got sick. I decided that I would jump start things and try to do it more than twice this week, so we'll see how it goes.

What I noticed was that I was quite stiff around the shoulders/neck whilst doing parts 2 and 3 of 3-stage breathing, I zoned out a whole lot during breathing (hadn't been doing this) and then passed out completely during the meditation and fell asleep for two hours. Luckily I don't work today other than my own things I need to get done, and I had gotten up early. I guess my body's accumulated some toxins for sure! A good reminder to get back on track and the difference it makes.

Cheers! And thanks to Bo for the FAQ again.
 
Sorry for the length of this post, I will split them in two, one with a more scientific approach and one with my personal experiences.


FWIW today I had an lecture about trauma and the word vagus nerve was mentioned in relation to it, so I asked the lecturer for more information. And here is something I found:

emphases mine

_http://www.evolutionaryhealinginstitute.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=14&Itemid=17
[...]

For centuries, doctors both traditional and alternative have asked the question: is there a universal or shared understanding of the nature of disease and human suffering? Scientific discovery shows that the human Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) may provide the answer to that question. The ANS has a far greater influence on our health and happiness than anyone could have possibly imagined. Recent breakthroughs in research suggest “most illness and injuries cause or result from an imbalance between the branches of the Autonomic Nervous System.”1

Your Autonomic Nervous System is the part of your nervous system that functions to maintain and balance your life. It controls your heart, lungs, digestive system, blood pressure, immune system, temperature, hormones, sexual function, muscle tension, posture, state of mind, and most importantly the rate of healing and repair in your body.

Your Autonomic Nervous System has three branches, or parts. The two major branches are the Sympathetic branch and the Parasympathetic branch. A lesser-known branch is the Enteric Brain, or gut brain, which is located in the abdomen.

The Sympathetic branch is more in control when you are stressed, exercising, injured, angry, fearful, sick, or in “fight or flight” mode. The Parasympathetic branch is more in control when your body is healing, sleeping, digesting, coordinating immune responses, recovering after exercise, or meditating.

The Parasympathetic branch is electrically twice as fast as the Sympathetic branch, and quickly begins to counter any activation of the stress response by the Sympathetic branch.2 The general action of each of the branches of the ANS is to oppose the other, working in unison to maintain homeostasis (balance). Persistently elevated levels of tone in one or the other branch of the ANS are not healthy.3 These elevated levels eventually create dysregulation.

The Enteric Brain, or gut brain, makes dozens of chemicals, including 95% of the body’s Serotonin,4 the anti-anxiety and antidepressant neurotransmitter. It also produces innate relaxants, like Valium® and Xanax® without any side effects.

The Vagus nerve is the largest nerve in the body, and part of the ANS. It wanders throughout the major organs in the abdomen. The Vagus nerve has a major influence on the ANS, connecting the Enteric Brain to the higher brain. The Vagus can positively influence Parasympathetic activity, and ANS balance.5

This nerve has a major affect on the immune system. Imbalances can result in various symptoms such as gastritis, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome and even autoimmune diseases. It has been discovered that the brain can control the immune system via the Vagus Nerve, i.e. the “inflammatory reflex.” 6

Studies show that the negative effects on the ANS can also be cumulative. That means every stress, trauma, illness and injury not dissipated and integrated can add up over years.7

Levone said:
Common occurrences can produce traumatic after-effects that are just as debilitating as those experienced by veterans of combat or survivors of childhood abuse. Traumatic effects are not always apparent immediately following the incidents that caused them. Symptoms remain dormant, accumulating over years or even decades. Then, during a stressful period, or as the result of another incident, they can show up without warning. There may also be no indication of the original cause. Thus, a seemingly minor event can give rise to a sudden breakdown, similar to one that might be caused by a single catastrophic event.
-Peter Levine, PhD 8

These stored-up energies force the ANS dangerously out of balance, a state called Dysautonomia, or Autonomic Dystonia.9 There is significant scientific research that shows that an imbalance in your Autonomic Nervous System can result in problems anywhere in the body—10.11 including neck and back pain, TMJ headaches, sleep loss, post traumatic stress, high blood pressure and heart disease, anxiety and panic attacks, stomach and bowel disease, depression, sexual problems, and immune system weakness and disease

Your Autonomic Nervous System and Your Health

The ANS can hold on to stress, trauma, injury and loss, keeping us stuck in what is referred to as Survival Mode (See the EHI hand-out on Survival Mode). Survival Mode sets in when your nervous system is overwhelmed by a traumatic or stressful physical injury, illness, emotional pain, or trauma of any kind. Our ANS often becomes frozen with this non-dissipated energy and acts as if the stressor is still going on. This phenomenon of imbalanced ANS is very common, but unfortunately most people treat only the symptoms and not the root cause. For example, a stressed and traumatized ANS is why a soldier’s nervous system often develops post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD), or why an infant who is deprived of human touch can go through life physically ill. [...]

ANS balance is a key to health and happiness. Every single cell in the body is affected by the Autonomic Nervous System... This is why it is important to have your ANS checked and balanced on a regular basis.

The ANS acts like a gateway of our humanness. That is, every loving act, word of compassion or sensitive touch gets downloaded into the nervous system in a positive, cell-nurturing way. Yet the opposite is also true, that humans in all their unconsciousness hurt themselves and others. This is not cell-nurturing; this process creates pain, disease, and suffering from generation to generation... Disease and illness can result from the numbing response to overwhelming pain, which we automatically impose (both physically and emotionally) in order to move ahead in life. This in turn causes the brain to lose feedback with the body, allowing disease to start up unnoticed. There is also a process called somatization and conversion in which our emotions, thoughts, feelings, and traumas internalize through the ANS into real-time physical pain and disease. This condition may be the most unrecognized diagnosis in all of medicine.13.14.15.16

In conversion disorder physical symptoms that are caused by psychological conflict are unconsciously converted to resemble that of a neurological disorder.
-Merck Manual, Home Edition

If you are not balancing the ANS you may be burning the ANS out by creating what is called Dysregulation.17 By constantly reactivating un-dissipated life stress, fear, anger and unresolved traumas, it can lead to chronic pain, depression, anxiety, or even worse, a heart that's beating 200 beats per minute on its way to a heart attack.

[...]
 
Here is the second part.

Laura said:
If you must relieve the pressure of the libido, try to avoid such things as pornography or degrading fantasies that might create barriers between you and a future, healthy relationship. When people engage in the degradation of the opposite sex, even in their minds, a lot of energy is being wasted and impossible fantasies are being created about the "perfect woman" who is clearly only perfect physically. And, if any of the women in "those magazines" were spiritually inclined, they would not be there. And, the fact that they are there speaks very strongly against them being spiritual at all. So, you don't want to tie your imaginings to visual images that are false. Mouravieff even speaks about the "attractiveness" of the pre-Adamic women... lovely soulless beings. How can that be attractive? How can any souled woman, spiritual woman, who is ordinarily endowed compete with those soulless beauties set up as objects of physical lust?

Agreed and really thank you Laura. I don't know if it is related with the EE-program, but some of my old behavior changed. And this quote from Ark comes to my mind:

Ark said:
Love is unconditional giving. But in order to give you must first HAVE something. In fact, you have to have A LOT. In order to have a lot you need to work hard and work all the time. This will not leave you ANY TIME WHATSOEVER for thinking about love.



The last two full-program meditations have been very intense, especially the beatha parts stood out.

It happened for example that I started to shed tears after two "beatha breaths" and it went along the whole sixteen minutes (I take the time for this part so that I have a start and a finish, because I don't know what is happening). Many pictures came up, of the suffering of this world for example.

The next weeks full-time-meditation something reoccurred and I think it is realted with a past live experience.
Where I saw a stake again with person in there burning (I guess this has been me) and also some pictures came up what happened before. That -they- took me to bring me to the stake and there have been two cute kids (girls), I guess these ones have been mine, and they didn't understand why they have come after me and I couldn't explain it to them and also had not the chance to say goodbye to them. Well, I still see the faces of the kids and it brings again some tears up.
The burning itself was also painfull and afterwards somehow also releasing (I cannot fully describe it, it's a pain and it is not), where my body shook and also the solar plexus seemed to be wide open, sweating, heating and silent crying.
I needed some time afterwards to come down again. And Lauras voice is also a great help: "relax your body...", as others mentioned already: hippie meditation time!


Also some other things happening, I'm very irritable currently and try to consider now what has been stated: that these are projections of one part of myself. Somehow it is getting better to see the programs earlier, but still much much work to do. Nonetheless it gives hope and there is an certain urge to keep on, beside negative thoughts: no breathing today, it makes no sense...

Thanks again to the forumites for sharing these many experiences.
 
Richard S said:
I have also found that seemingly trivial memories have been surfacing - sometimes from long-ago events. At least they would have not seemed to be of very great importance in my life until they 'surfaced'. It seems to me that most, or even all of them, are related to things I either did which I should not have or things which I should have done but didn't.

Same thing here - it's as if my memories had been edited, and now I'm seeing the stuff I guess I unconsciously edited out. Last few sessions of EE seem to be intensifying the experience of actually "seeing" the truth of my past. It's weird because I go about my daily business, yet at the same time I'm remembering stuff and feeling horrible about my own thoughtlessness and lack of consideration to others. It's kinda like I'm a bit shell shocked at the moment. I feel like I'm in a kind of limbo right now, (not sure if this is the right way to describe it), where I'm learning to deal with who I really am and who I've really been, as opposed to what I've always thought about myself.
 
Haven't experienced that quite yet, however I have had something similar happen in life.

Several months ago I had behaved poorly in front of my current BF which I didn't really think of as major, I intellectualized it away because we had just started dating, weren't serious. Technically we're broken up now (but not really, whole other kettle of fish), so the status now is similar to what it was then, anyway the point being he had behaved in the same manner last night and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It wasn't until this morning that I realized that I was 'getting what I gave'. As soon as I had that thought I realized how our whole relationship, or at least the drama, was (mostly) my fault. I could see how each action he took that upset me was a direct response to something I had done. I could feel how he felt in the course of it, and I felt horrible as a result.

It's a painful thing to see, but beautiful to realize. We're gonna hang out tonight and I feel like I need to let him know I understand how he felt, that I was the cause, and to apologize for it.

manitoban said:
Richard S said:
I have also found that seemingly trivial memories have been surfacing - sometimes from long-ago events. At least they would have not seemed to be of very great importance in my life until they 'surfaced'. It seems to me that most, or even all of them, are related to things I either did which I should not have or things which I should have done but didn't.

Same thing here - it's as if my memories had been edited, and now I'm seeing the stuff I guess I unconsciously edited out. Last few sessions of EE seem to be intensifying the experience of actually "seeing" the truth of my past. It's weird because I go about my daily business, yet at the same time I'm remembering stuff and feeling horrible about my own thoughtlessness and lack of consideration to others. It's kinda like I'm a bit shell shocked at the moment. I feel like I'm in a kind of limbo right now, (not sure if this is the right way to describe it), where I'm learning to deal with who I really am and who I've really been, as opposed to what I've always thought about myself.
 
RedFox said:
Excellent job Bo! :)

Well, after posting about seeing/experiencing the things I did the POTS has gone back to being just calming.....however I did notice something very familiar last night that I want to share.
I noticed that after the Ba-Ha part and during the pipe breathing before the POTS I had a head rush....just a small one, but it was enough to remind me of something similar. I am not a regular smoker, as such I tend to get a head rush when I do smoke....it was almost identical.


So, is it me or does the E-E program produce the same (positive) effects of smoking (plus a whole lot of other stuff)???
I would be curiouse to know what effect the E-E program is having on regular smokers??

Hi Redfox

This is very interesting. I have been a smoker all of my adult life although have been trying to give up for quite a few years now with little success. I have studied the info on here and appreciate that it does have its benefits although I always found it very addictive. I smoked too much and always seemed to be thinking about the 'next cigarrette' even though they often made me feel physically ill. Whilst I was very addicted to smoking, it often made me very anxious and gave me severe insomnia if I was smoking alot before bedtime.

Well, I haven't had a cigarrette now since starting the program 4 months ago and do not desire one either. I have never managed to do longer than about 6 weeks max in the past. I didn't really make the connection with the program as I am constantly trying to give up but had an experience exactly like yours a few weeks back whist doing the fast Ba-Ha where I realised that the experience of fast inhalation/exhalation felt identical to the nictotine 'rush' that one experiences when smoking.

In a general sense, the benefits of the program are similar to others reports. My general mood is much brighter and physically I have much more energy. Emotionally and mentally I feel more 'conscientious' and sensitive to my behaviour towards others.

manitoban said:
Richard S said:
I have also found that seemingly trivial memories have been surfacing - sometimes from long-ago events. At least they would have not seemed to be of very great importance in my life until they 'surfaced'. It seems to me that most, or even all of them, are related to things I either did which I should not have or things which I should have done but didn't.

Same thing here - it's as if my memories had been edited, and now I'm seeing the stuff I guess I unconsciously edited out. Last few sessions of EE seem to be intensifying the experience of actually "seeing" the truth of my past. It's weird because I go about my daily business, yet at the same time I'm remembering stuff and feeling horrible about my own thoughtlessness and lack of consideration to others. It's kinda like I'm a bit shell shocked at the moment. I feel like I'm in a kind of limbo right now, (not sure if this is the right way to describe it), where I'm learning to deal with who I really am and who I've really been, as opposed to what I've always thought about myself.

My experiences are similar in terms of 'seeing' the truth of the past and this tends to come actually during the Ba-ha portion of the program. Whilst doing the Ba-ha a few weeks back, I seemed to have what I can only describe as flahes of 'objective insight' into some very negative aspects of my behaviour, particularly towards others. For instance, I had a couple of sessions where I momentarily understood how terribly I'd been treating my wife, how snappy, irritable and dismissive I behave around her and how inconsiderate and damaging this is to her. I also 'saw' that some anger I had been feeling towards my young son for some of his behavior (daily tantrums) was unfounded (he's only three and a half) and that it was me who was actually exacerbating the situation and making his behavior worse.

That's all for now really. Just as an afterthought, I am not wanting to dismiss the benefits of smoking from what I have written above. I know that they have been included in the statement of principles for the FOTCM. It just wasn't for me and am happy to be stopped. :cool:
 
Laura said:
Like I said, be gentle with yourself. If you think you are slipping too much, maybe you are trying to do too much at once? Concentrate on just doing the meditation at night before going to sleep and if you can do that, you can consider yourself doing the most important part of the program. That way, if you have other slip-ups, you can say to yourself: at least I'm doing the most important part. And keep in mind that IF you do this most important part, all the rest will follow naturally in time! The principles of the POTS are being encoded into you in this meditation and your subconscious will gradually become so permeated with these principles that it will stop sabotaging you. In other words, it IS as easy as can be: all you have to do is lie down on your bed, put your headphones on, and relax while listening and then drift off to sleep. Everything else is just gravy and will come naturally as you proceed.

Thanks for these suggestions Laura. I am finding it so difficult to stop berating myself every time I think I have failed it some way! After all this time of drilling the concept into my head that there is no free lunch, but long and difficult work to do, I find it difficult to take the approach you describe and instead see it as programs which are keeping me from progress. This is a fine line I think. Part of me wants so much for what you say to be true - that something this beneficial could be this easy and simple, almost passive, another part immediately screams that this cannot be the case.
 
Ben said:
Thanks for these suggestions Laura. I am finding it so difficult to stop berating myself every time I think I have failed it some way! After all this time of drilling the concept into my head that there is no free lunch, but long and difficult work to do, I find it difficult to take the approach you describe and instead see it as programs which are keeping me from progress. This is a fine line I think. Part of me wants so much for what you say to be true - that something this beneficial could be this easy and simple, almost passive, another part immediately screams that this cannot be the case.

Hi Ben,
I have the same feelings and thoughts, I may be wrong but I think it is part of my narcissistic need that everything needs to be hard to be worthwhile as if nothing good would come out of something that I find easy and nice to do.
As if I wasn't "good" enough for simple gentle things.
It's a way of punishing myself somehow, by not allowing myself happiness that I don't deserve, or just rest, or just having a good time...
I think that's why the idea on working on the self, being somehow hard on yourself to see your programs attracts certain kind of people, because, otherwise it would mean that it has no value, but again I could be wrong.

Take care of yourself ;)
 
Ben said:
Laura said:
Like I said, be gentle with yourself. If you think you are slipping too much, maybe you are trying to do too much at once? Concentrate on just doing the meditation at night before going to sleep and if you can do that, you can consider yourself doing the most important part of the program. That way, if you have other slip-ups, you can say to yourself: at least I'm doing the most important part. And keep in mind that IF you do this most important part, all the rest will follow naturally in time! The principles of the POTS are being encoded into you in this meditation and your subconscious will gradually become so permeated with these principles that it will stop sabotaging you. In other words, it IS as easy as can be: all you have to do is lie down on your bed, put your headphones on, and relax while listening and then drift off to sleep. Everything else is just gravy and will come naturally as you proceed.

Thanks for these suggestions Laura. I am finding it so difficult to stop berating myself every time I think I have failed it some way! After all this time of drilling the concept into my head that there is no free lunch, but long and difficult work to do, I find it difficult to take the approach you describe and instead see it as programs which are keeping me from progress. This is a fine line I think. Part of me wants so much for what you say to be true - that something this beneficial could be this easy and simple, almost passive, another part immediately screams that this cannot be the case.

Well, don't think it will all be easy. Notice that I said that the principles are being embedded and the rest will come naturally. In other words, once you begin to see and hear clearly, you may find that there is some very hard work in front of you!

But the main thing to do first is to get healed so you can do that work and also so that you can see what it is you need to do. People nowadays are the walking wounded and they need to enter the "psychic hospital," so to say, and get treatment so they can then return back to the world in a whole state.
 

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