*There is no better time than the present*
Is the first thought that crosses my mind as I begin to type to any who wish to read what I share.
To really explain how EE has opened many wounds and repressed emotions for me I feel that I must share my background first. I just joined the forum on the 1st of April this year. I have been reading the wave and doing EE as of November of last year. After many times of "putting it off" and allowing distractions, I put all of the distractions aside. Took my son to school (4yrs old) and the focus of the day...- to really put all of my energy and self into learning and practice of this program.
Much of the reasons as to why I had put aside the books and the EE was that I knew I was going to be facing the shadow of loads of pain, trauma and truth that I had faced in my past but of course only in a small pinnacle and very fragmented part of what I knew and felt I would be facing here, by doing the breath work and reading the wave. I was done with unanswered questions.
As far as my past goes... I was born into a family that was verbally abusive, controlling, physical abuse, psychological and also plenty of anomalies and haunting of spirits/ visions of balls of light and other demons through out my life. Along with that, I was sexually abused at 10 or 11 years old, physically bulled by boys from the age of 7 through about 13 and physically abused by nannies through starvation and beatings. I am in no way posting this information for pitty but just to share where I am coming from and why I shyed away.
My way of healing during my youth was to sing, chant (NA chants) and to play the flute. I had music as my escape form the pain/reality... that was not enough. Into my adult life I began learning and practice of Yoga and mediation at six-teen years and then put it aside in the distractions that came with college and people. I had a few relationships and some were positive and distracting yet growth came from most. One in particular with a psychopath (father to my child) that was physically and verbally abusive. After four years now of freedom from that past, I still knew that there was pain from that I had to let go of and heal from.
I just jumped in knowing full well that EE would bring all this to the surface. On the first attempt I did yoga, and afer looking and observing the video twice I did the full program. My thoughts where mainly on what my body was telling me, my breathing and really listening to every word that Laura was saying. One thing I do differently than on the video is that I lay down with the pillow and blanket through out the Bah Hah and into the POTS. When doing this I feel a numbing of the fingers, coldness of hands and feet and a sort of “O” like shape that my face goes into uncontrollablly along with a sort of tingle or energy feeling going up through my spine and into the forehead area. This intensifies thought out the Baaa- Haa’s. I journey through waves of emotions... first come the yawns, then the laughter... then a great angry shout, growl like within me that felt good to release. From then, more laughter... and then the tears. Oh the tears just streamed on down my face like a river of pain flowing out of my body. Yet, it felt liberating and definitely cleansing. As Laura says the prayer of the soul I say it in my mind and really think about what the words mean and what I am asking for. I truly, fully ask DCM. “Give me the eyes to see the truth... Etc. By the end of the prayer I sort of feel like I am floating and also pay attention the sensations that are going on in my body and the emotions or thoughts in my mind. ( For the first couple of times I had a sort of panic feeling that I could not go on, but keep on going.) I usually talked myself through it at first. I come through after Laura’s counting to five... I sort of stayed there for a while... eyes closed really taking in all the sensations then I slowly opened my eyes... A feeling of warmth, love and oneness/connection to all living things filled me and I cried some more. Happy yet sad but necessary to release.
Through out the times from my first try it is similar to that and others it is just a deep floating like sleep where I go deep down into a relaxation and feel as if I am not heavy in my body. Not really like sleeping... b/c I am aware and hear everything that is going on around me. When I do get distracted by my son, I wake up happy and one time he came in right after the count to five and I felt great sorrow for bringing him into this madness and the pain from the abusive relationship and being “food for the moon” and also grateful for his presence. I cried of course for quite some time. He comforted me I felt and feel blessed to have him in my life. It was very healing. During a week when a friend died. I had depression and memories of walking in on my mother trying to commit suicide and all the verbal/physical abuse from her came to surface. I cried and cried for about a week it was extremely exhausting yet I felt better after words for releasing it. I know I still have much more healing to do just from this life... and I am willing to keep on doing breath work and facing it all. To heal. I aim to do EE at least three times a week. I also found that talking to my family and healing with each other from that past of course is a wonderful way to mend old wounds. My mother is least open to it but for the most part she has taken some baby steps in facing the past she denies and moving on as a more loving and understanding mother. My father and I have healed from a lot of past abuse to each other and he is now reading the wave.
I am very greatful to all of who have brought this form of healing to us and hope it helps many more who want to jump into this amazing way of healing.
if they don't already have cheaper prices for new clients in the need for a major mouth detox.
