Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Buddy]

I had a very cathartic emotional release during today's full session. It started towards the end of the Ba-Ha when I simply started flowing with tears for no apparant reason. Not enough to lose my composure or intefere with smooth breathing, but it was still very emotional.

During the transition between the Ba-Ha and the Prayer of the Soul, I felt like I was in some kind of 'communion' state. My perceptions could best be described as: every single note of the music, whether it was ascending or descending, as well as every single word and every breath Laura was taking, every sound - absolutely everything in every single way was absolutely perfect! Everything seemed perfectly choreographed, perfectly timed - just perfect in every way and the beauty of this was a bit overwhelming. I started to cry, but still not enough to interfere with the breathing.

Then, in my inner field of vision, I saw energy fields within energy fields, shaped like an egg. At the bottom-center of this field, was a little boy, looking around in wide-eyed wonder, mouth slightly open. Kinda lost, really, with no one and no Work to guide him.

I felt such compassion and warmth for the little guy (myself in the past - or a symbolic representation), that I naturally enveloped him with my energy field with the idea of giving the equivalent of an energetic hug.

At that point, the image dissolved and I completely lost it. I was bawling like a baby and making so much noise that if anyone had been around, I'm sure they would have been embarrased for me. But that's allright. That was my moment and it felt so good.

I'm sure there'll be more to come and I'm looking forward to it. I absolutely treasure every second of this program and just wanted to share that.

 

[Gawan]

Thank you to all for sharing your experiences, it's funny to find so many similarities in my own life.

just wanted to add something to this,

Most people avoid their (painful)emotions by supressing them, in this process the invidual believes that he has moved on, if someone looks at ones own painful emotions, it's quite clear that you will experience suffering, but this suffering is needed for you to accept the emotion, understand the emotion, and move beyond it.

We all have our attachments to certain emotions, it is such a relief to deal with these emotions, you feel like reborn, a feeling which can not be described.

Bringers Of The Dawn:
[...]

Thank you Bo for sharing, it is very helpful!

[...]
As for emotions I am now in a period in which I'm pretty balanced, after a really hard period I had first when I was a teenager where I had tachycardias and imbalances, and another one that finished about half a year ago; it was about two or three years of anxiety attacks, some panic attacks, tachycardias, imbalances, a kind of depersonalization perceptions, constant fear of death, fear of losing my mind, dreams of tsunamis where only I see the sea wave and others are playing calmly, dreams of snakes each time more large, of dark men chasing me to kill me, and strong shocks in terms of interaction with family and close people.

Now I do let the emotions flow as they are trying to related them to the situation experienced in each moment, the truth is that this way emotions become a great source of energy althought sometimes I do experience emotion in a very intensive way and I find it hard to keep my feets on the ground, that's when I begin to imagine dissociating of this reality..

"The natural predator of the psyche is not only found in fairy tales but
also in dreams. "There is a universal initiatory dream, one so common that
it is remarkable if a person has reached age 25 without having had such a
dream. The dream usually causes the person to jolt awake, striving and
anxious. The dream usually involves being in a house with danger outside or
darkness outside. The dreamer is frightened and frantically tries to obtain
assistance. Suddenly, they realize the danger is virtually on top of them,
or right with them, or cannot be overcome or avoided, or that they have lost.
The dreamer awakens instantly, breathing hard, heart pounding.

"There is a strong physical aspect to having a dream of the predator. The
dream is often accompanied by sweats, struggles, hoarse breathing, heart
pounding, and sometimes crying and moans of fear. We could say the
dream-maker has dispensed with subtle messages to the dreamer and now sends
images which shake the neurological and autonomic nervous system of the
dreamer, thereby communicating the urgency of the matter.

"The antagonists of the 'dark dream' are, in people's own words,
'terrorists, rapists, thugs, concentration camp Nazis, marauders, murderers,
criminals, creeps, bad men, thieves.' There are several levels to the
interpretation of the dream..."

So far, something is happening since about two weeks I'm dreaming a lot and intensive. Sometimes I just have the feeling in the morning that things happened during the night, also when I cannot remember it properly.
A couple of days back, I also had again a "dark dream" (as well in the period of intensive dreams), where I got imprisoned (again), and tried to make my way out of it. Sometimes these persons are really nasty and I have to use force myself against the hostage-keepers to make my way out of the prison. In this dream they tried to poison me, so that I can't move anymore, but I have been faster than they could inject it. Finally I found my way back into some snowy hills.
I had many of these dreams the years back, sometimes with blood and murder and intentions to kill me which has been really frightening, when I got chased through empty fabric halls. So far I cannot control these dreams, to get to a one-on-one situation, that means to look into the eyes of the predator, instead of running in panic.

Also body changes seem to occur, from a disappearing wart, to heart/arm/back pain.

It was spinning clockwise from my vantage point (from my left to my right), and each time I took in a breath (BA) it seemed to add energy to the spinning, and then when I breathed out (HA) it would lose some energy. I wondered if it was just tingling from hyperventilating, but I usually only get that (if at all) in my extremities, not in the middle of my chest, and the feeling of a spinning disc (almost seeming to have blades or spokes, like a fan) was rather strong. I thought about trying to continue it past the normal duration of the beatha section, but decided I should stay within the parameters of the program. As soon as I stopped the beatha section and went into the meditation, the spinning feeling calmed down rather quickly and then went away completely.

Do you now this thread? Spinning/Whirling Dervishes, maybe there is connection.

Hello Buddy,
Here are some references collected from ISOTM...

Fantastic! Thank you, GotoGo. I hope to own that book one day.

I don't know if this is a good idea or recommended, so feel free to comment on it:
I have one ISOTM in English (a new one) I don't need, so I could give it away.

 

[Oxajil]

Such interesting experiences!

That's beautiful Buddy, thanks for sharing :)

As for emotions I am now in a period in which I'm pretty balanced, after a really hard period I had first when I was a teenager where I had tachycardias and imbalances, and another one that finished about half a year ago; it was about two or three years of anxiety attacks, some panic attacks, tachycardias, imbalances, a kind of depersonalization perceptions, constant fear of death, fear of losing my mind, dreams of tsunamis where only I see the sea wave and others are playing calmly, dreams of snakes each time more large, of dark men chasing me to kill me, and strong shocks in terms of interaction with family and close people.

Now I do let the emotions flow as they are trying to related them to the situation experienced in each moment, the truth is that this way emotions become a great source of energy althought sometimes I do experience emotion in a very intensive way and I find it hard to keep my feets on the ground, that's when I begin to imagine dissociating of this reality..

"The natural predator of the psyche is not only found in fairy tales but
also in dreams. "There is a universal initiatory dream, one so common that
it is remarkable if a person has reached age 25 without having had such a
dream. The dream usually causes the person to jolt awake, striving and
anxious. The dream usually involves being in a house with danger outside or
darkness outside. The dreamer is frightened and frantically tries to obtain
assistance. Suddenly, they realize the danger is virtually on top of them,
or right with them, or cannot be overcome or avoided, or that they have lost.
The dreamer awakens instantly, breathing hard, heart pounding.

"There is a strong physical aspect to having a dream of the predator. The
dream is often accompanied by sweats, struggles, hoarse breathing, heart
pounding, and sometimes crying and moans of fear. We could say the
dream-maker has dispensed with subtle messages to the dreamer and now sends
images which shake the neurological and autonomic nervous system of the
dreamer, thereby communicating the urgency of the matter.

"The antagonists of the 'dark dream' are, in people's own words,
'terrorists, rapists, thugs, concentration camp Nazis, marauders, murderers,
criminals, creeps, bad men, thieves.' There are several levels to the
interpretation of the dream..."

So far, something is happening since about two weeks I'm dreaming a lot and intensive. Sometimes I just have the feeling in the morning that things happened during the night, also when I cannot remember it properly.
A couple of days back, I also had again a "dark dream" (as well in the period of intensive dreams), where I got imprisoned (again), and tried to make my way out of it. Sometimes these persons are really nasty and I have to use force myself against the hostage-keepers to make my way out of the prison. In this dream they tried to poison me, so that I can't move anymore, but I have been faster than they could inject it. Finally I found my way back into some snowy hills.
I had many of these dreams the years back, sometimes with blood and murder and intentions to kill me which has been really frightening, when I got chased through empty fabric halls. So far I cannot control these dreams, to get to a one-on-one situation, that means to look into the eyes of the predator, instead of running in panic.

Also body changes seem to occur, from a disappearing wart, to heart/arm/back pain.

Hmm. Well, I have had only one Dark Man Dream and that was when I was in contact with someone who stood in my way of progress. And I was too blind to see that. So that is kind of when I saw this dream. Btw, I had never heard of a ''dark man dream'' before I got it.
In the dream I saw my cat, whose tail was up, and he walked to the living room and I followed him, and as I reached the door to the living room (which was open), I saw a dark man (literally) (tall man, dark skin) standing like 13 feet away from me. Our cat was, if I remember well, purring next to him.

The vibe I got from this man was purely negativity and I was scared as hell. I saw him making a gesture with his finger which meant ''come here''. And I saw his hand stretching out to me (like his arm was growing longer). I was SO scared that I immediately called my brother for help. I then materialized in front of his bedroom. I said something like ''something is going to get me/something evil is here'' and I could see my brother talk, but I heard nothing. The next thing I know, is this HUGE dark cloud coming over me and entrapping me and that's when I woke up. I never had such an intense dream before and I was so scared when I woke up.

And later I understood what it meant. It was definitely a wake up call. Btw, I completely cut off any connection to that person I mentioned.

Now. There is this guy, who likes me and there was a moment when I was (I think) thinking about him and me together, standing next to each other, and all of a sudden (like I wasn't even thinking of the guy) I saw the dark man standing next to me as well, with a cold expression on his face. !!! lol?
Guess it meant that it's better to just forget about that guy who likes me. Another warning, though this time a gentle one?
Nonetheless I know I made the right decisions! Kind of thanks to that dark guy who showed up so suddenly.. (I remembered him from the last time so I immediately thought that it must be a warning)

So what I'm trying to say is that these guys who are chasing you in your dreams might not really be ''the bad guys'', I think that they are actually like a part of you who is helping you to pay more attention to what you're doing in your life.

No need to try to control these dreams imo. Maybe understanding them... All I can say is, be careful with who you are in contact with, be vigilant, please be so. Remember!:

"Dark man dreams are wake-up calls. They say: Pay attention! Something has gone radically amiss in the outer world. ....The threat of the 'dark man dreams' serves as a warning to all of us -- if you don't pay attention, something will be stolen from you! The dreamer needs to be initiated so that whatever has been robbing her can be recognized, apprehended, and dealt with.

I guess it could be different for each person, so this is just fwiw (doesn't mean you shouldn't be extra extra vigilant!).

 

[Buddy]

I don't know if this is a good idea or recommended, so feel free to comment on it:
I have one ISOTM in English (a new one) I don't need, so I could give it away.

Thank you for your kind offer, Gawan. I would feel more comfortable offering to pay something for it when I can, but there's no hurry. I still have lots to read, learn and do this next 3 months during my last quarter at this school.

 

[shijing]

It was spinning clockwise from my vantage point (from my left to my right), and each time I took in a breath (BA) it seemed to add energy to the spinning, and then when I breathed out (HA) it would lose some energy. I wondered if it was just tingling from hyperventilating, but I usually only get that (if at all) in my extremities, not in the middle of my chest, and the feeling of a spinning disc (almost seeming to have blades or spokes, like a fan) was rather strong. I thought about trying to continue it past the normal duration of the beatha section, but decided I should stay within the parameters of the program. As soon as I stopped the beatha section and went into the meditation, the spinning feeling calmed down rather quickly and then went away completely.

Do you now this thread? Spinning/Whirling Dervishes, maybe there is connection.

I hadn't read this before, so thanks for pointing it out and I'll take a look.

 

[RedFox]

I've had a few Dark Man dreams recently too...some have been all out running/jumping/climbing walls/flying for my life (in this case to avoid being killed by ED209 - that big nasty thing out of the Robocop film)...only to end up having my path blocked by a fence I couldn't get over (frequency fence?) Hah...the symbolism is quite strong at the moment.
Interestingly a dream last night had the same flavour....but instead of fear I felt...hummer towards the predator in the dream. And me and other walked (well slightly more sneaked, we diverted the predators attention) away from the predators in the dream with them standing there dumbfounded (because we where not acting from fear or aggression). This may be slightly naive (sometimes you have to fight for your existence)...but it was very amusing to just walk away from them.

Last nights session was quite intense in the end....the warmth I've been feeling in the prayer part has started appearing in the BA-HA part and yesterday it appeared after the first inhalation of the pipe breathing!! The breathing seemed effortless....although like other have said my mind did wonder a bit too....I kept refocusing on Laura's voice.
I was Incredibly relaxed by the time I got to the prayer....and started feeling the floating (thanks for the description Smaragde) within the first few lines...
I did zone out, but differently because I was still aware while it was happening?? That was quite weird...like being in two places at once...

After about the third time through the prayer something occurred to me....I was really deep into the prayer, not anticipating and just going with it..yet I felt blocked? I thought about what I had read earlier about what we accept into ourselves (i.e. being taught things in class as fact and we accept it without question)....and how we do this through all our lives sometimes....and now I noticed I was Not accepting the prayer at some level....how odd that what is good for us we resist and what is bad for us we accept without question.
So that was it, I understood what faith is finally and I had faith in Laura, the prayer, the group, the process and the universe......boy was that intense! It was like someone turned the volume of the whole thing up a hundred fold!

Now when I zoned out it wasn't zoning out....I got images of different things....I've no idea if they where metaphoric or real events but the one I do remember is quite odd.
I could see the most beautiful clouds (white, fluffy) below/in front of me...lit by warm yellow sunlight (I could feel it) from behind. And over my head flew a passenger plane....upside down. It was clear as day. The sides appeared white, but the belly was metallic....four engines (707/747??) and it came over my head and was traveling down towards the clouds....
I could even feel the pilots emotions, calm (professional) but quite worried by the situation....passengers I think felt the same. I wondered if it was literal and about Vulcan59 being a pilot.....how in the heck would a passenger plane end up upside down?!!?

As a metaphor....no idea! lol

It was beautiful/serene and odd/slightly worrying (but still ok) all at the same time.

 

[manitoban]

Yesterday, when doing the program, I don't know what was going on, but I was zoning out like crazy. Usually I zone during the prayer, but it was happening throughout the ba ha part. It kept happening that I'd suddenly realise that I hadn't been there. I don't think I missed out on still doing the breathing because each time I came to I was still in the rhythm of it. It wasn't tiredness I don't think because I did it earlier in the day. It's quite interesting how the experience is different almost every time - I wonder if it's got to do with the state of mind one is in or if it's just our bodies simply doing the healing in whatever way is needed at that particular time.

 

[Buddy]

This description reminded me of something from my childhood which I have not experienced as an adult, which was spontaneous and not a result of efforts such as self observation. Occasionally, and most frequently when looking into a mirror I recall, I would experience a strange and intense departure from my sense of self and see my image and my thoughts, and particularly my name as unusual and foreign to me.

Hi Ben. Thanks for posting that. I see I'm not alone. In my early teens, I had several similar experiences, most notably, when I would look in the bathroom mirror, and all of a sudden, I felt like the person looking back at me was a complete stranger. It would be a bit fascinating and also unsettling to see this image reflect every move I made. It was probably a combination of things, from hormone and brain chemical activity to being in a disassociated state. I even scared myself a couple of times, passing by a mirror and seeing my reflection suddenly and unexpectedly, as if it were a different person - sort of like encountering the 'dark double' that's talked about in esoteric lore. Hopefully, I learned to accept it and laugh at some of my own jumpiness, because after a few times, it never happened again.

although I have found the prayer of the soul to command my intention and focus I find that my thoughts wander quite often during the full bioenergetic breathing and I'm curious as to how important you guys think it is to maintain attention on the breathing throughout the whole process. My negative introject can get pretty strong sometimes, as can my tendency to anticipate results. I'm always concerned that these things are hindering my progress.

I think it's important to try to stay focused on the breathing, but to be gentle with yourself. Don't get upset with yourself in any way, and if you do, acknowledge what you experience and just gently bring your attention back around to what you're doing. I've had some good emotional releases from the program so far, but my attention still has to be guided back to the practice - sometimes over and over. My trick is to not let negative experiences accumulate - try to see each moment and experience as a 'first time'. Just take it easy. :)

 

[LoveAndLight]

Hi all,

Just wanted to share my recent experience with the EE program with you. Yesterday I came back from school and was feeling tired so I decided to go to my bedroom, to do some pipe breathing and mediation. When I started to do the pipe breathing with my eyes closed, I started seeing a pulsing white and purplish light. After I got done with the pipe breathing, I skipped to the meditation portion of the mp3 and started meditating. As I started to relax more and go deeper into the meditation, I started to see dim images of Egyptian figures and pyramids. After those images pasted then I saw some short of math problems on a book. After those images the mediation stopped and the images went away.

Maybe they where just hallucinations or my mind playing tricks on me or me just remembering something from a past life. But the day before that I was reading the Bringers Of Dawn and after these images started to occur I remembered this passage from the book, when they where telling us about remembering are true selfs.

From: Bringers Of Dawn
"Those of you who are ancients-who are the masters awakening as you awaken, we want you to be able to see out of the ancient eyes and to awaken something that you know, something that you remember, something that is deep inside. You are going to need to trust yourself and rely upon yourself. You need to be able to see, to understand What you are seeing, and to translate the grander vision for others. You' will come to an understanding or a vast implosion of consciousness that will move you to know who you have always been."

Interesting none the less.

 

[Gertrudes]

I have the same experience with the prayer as well. Lately (past two full sessions i did) during the pipe breathing and baha portion, i feel unable to focus and relax. My mind keeps wondering off while my body performs the breathing. I detect this early and try to bring my focus back inside my body but again and again it goes off. I have been feeling so frustrated in my inability to control my mind, that i believe that the tears i shed during breathing come from this frustration, and not some inner pain

I have been struggling with this lately as well. In the beginning as soon as Ba-ha would start, I would enter a dream like state (zone-out?), but now my mind is wondering quite a lot.

This description reminded me of something from my childhood which I have not experienced as an adult, which was spontaneous and not a result of efforts such as self observation. Occasionally, and most frequently when looking into a mirror I recall, I would experience a strange and intense departure from my sense of self and see my image and my thoughts, and particularly my name as unusual and foreign to me.

Hi Ben. Thanks for posting that. I see I'm not alone. In my early teens, I had several similar experiences, most notably, when I would look in the bathroom mirror, and all of a sudden, I felt like the person looking back at me was a complete stranger.

Thanks Ben and Buddy, it made me realize I am not alone either. Something similar used to happen to me as well very, very often when I was a small child. I would stop and feel completely awake, but at the same time completely estranged from myself. I would look at my hands (usually the hands) and think: are these mine?
As I grew older those events stopped completely

although I have found the prayer of the soul to command my intention and focus I find that my thoughts wander quite often during the full bioenergetic breathing and I'm curious as to how important you guys think it is to maintain attention on the breathing throughout the whole process. My negative introject can get pretty strong sometimes, as can my tendency to anticipate results. I'm always concerned that these things are hindering my progress.

I think it's important to try to stay focused on the breathing, but to be gentle with yourself. Don't get upset with yourself in any way, and if you do, acknowledge what you experience and just gently bring your attention back around to what you're doing. I've had some good emotional releases from the program so far, but my attention still has to be guided back to the practice - sometimes over and over. My trick is to not let negative experiences accumulate - try to see each moment and experience as a 'first time'. Just take it easy. :)

I agree with Buddy here Ben.
Years ago I read something about being able to meditate and clear the mind. It was expressed more or less in these words: don't resist your thoughts, but don't feed them either. Observe them without fighting or paying them attention. They will get tired and will eventually leave.
It could probably be applied the same for your negative introject. Let it talk without listening and gently bring yourself back to the program. It is important that you respect your own process and the fact that you will be diverted from EE, and accept it a such.

I have to say that I often get caught in oh, no, I am wondering again, and sometimes get frustrated. Yesterday as I was doing EE and my mind started to wonder, my initial reaction was to fight my thoughts. As I remembered what I had read, somehing inside me gave in and made me giggle to the realization of how futile it would be to actually fight against my wondering mind. That would bring more frustration and make my mind wonder even more. And as I understood that I had to let it take its way without feeding it, the thoughts faded away.
Well, I admit this only lasted for a while but I guess practice will make it better :)

 

[R4D4]

I would like to share my experience with the EE-breathing program so far. First of all i opened my account here about the same time the EE-breathing program came out and after i had made my contribution which was small compared to what i believe the EE-program is truly worth but that was what i could contribute.

The first week wasn't so bad, i just had the feeling in my legs that felt so heavy like being stuck in cement during the ba-ha round, also some pressure on my forehead and tinglings in my fingers. I don't know why i zone out often during the meditation part but i think the soft music that i love so much has somesthésie to do with it. I always feel like i'm in another time/space world when i am doing the meditation and it makes me feel good.

the second week i had to stop the EE-breathing because of a severe case of tonsillitis. I had not done the EE for two weeks. Note here that i am not implying this was due to the EE-breathing, i just want to say that i was so damaged with the antibiotic that even if i wanted to, i could not do it. So i put it on hold.

When i got a little better i started again but slowly and i would skip the warrior's breath to not force my throat and tonsils. But the ba-ha portion made difficult on me but i went through it and the meditation part went so easy i zoned out almost at the beginning. When i went to sleep that night i was sweating so much i had to change my clothes and the sheets and i also had this short dream where a whole bunch of weird people were passing one after the other like we see in scary movies. I wasn't scared, i just let them go one after the other, it was kind of suprising i would say because i never had such experience before.

The weeks after went well, nothing much except same sensation of tingling, pressure on forehead, also i had dry mouth that felt like dry and burning, some unexpected coughing during a session and a constant itchy ear on one time that was driving me beserk. It was during those weeks also that my computer fan broke and i had to replace it, my watch stopped so i had to change batteries, same for my car engine remote starter, had to change the batteries also. I remember Laura saying such things could happen(things breaking) but i'm not sure if it was due to the EE or pure coincidence but i'm sharing it with you all.

Overall, i feel much more relaxed since doing the EE programs and feel less stressed at work. It's like i can do more at work with less effort and it is a great feeling. Finally i want to say thank you Laura and the team for making this masterpiece available to all. The prayer reminds me a lot of a prayer i have been using for about 15 years instead of the lord's prayer and that i had found in Robert H. Schuller's book self-love the dynamic force of success , only Laura’s version is more complete and beautiful

Like many others probably and for whatever reasons, i was also joining you all (when i could) for the EE-breathing in secrecy to show the Universe my intention and to me that was a good start. Now here with you all, i take it on annother level, and that for me will be a great accomplishment , for i am not used to do this kind of cyber sharing. Thank you.

Jacques

 

[broken.english]

Regarding Eiriu Eolas, I have found that the mental state I experience after the breathing exercises has been extremely helpful to the practice of self observation possibly because of the increased mental focus. However, although I have found the prayer of the soul to command my intention and focus I find that my thoughts wander quite often during the full bioenergetic breathing and I'm curious as to how important you guys think it is to maintain attention on the breathing throughout the whole process. My negative introject can get pretty strong sometimes, as can my tendency to anticipate results. I'm always concerned that these things are hindering my progress.

My experience is that it does not hurt to let the mind wander during the breathing exercises but it pays to focus on the prayer of the soul. Laura wrote that the breathing is just a preparation for the meditation. This is exactly how I perceive it. The few pipe breaths before the meditation and the meditation itself seem to get more powerful week by week. Compared to that the breathing exercises alone seem to stay on the same level. I would therefore try and focus on the prayer and go with the flow for the rest.

 

[dugdeep]

Wow! 87 pages of posts in this thread! I decided to read the whole thread before contributing, and I've finally made it.
First off, thank you to Laura and everyone who made the Eíriú-Eolas program possible - it is truly an amazing program! Also big thanks to the forum contributors - your observations have been most helpful :)

I don't have too much to report. I've been doing the program for a few weeks, trying to do Mondays and Thursdays with the group (although I usually do mornings or afternoons simply because of schedule issues). I've been having similar experiences to what is being reported here - strong vibration in the solar plexus and around the mouth which starts in ba-ha fast breathing and fades slowly during the prayer. No dreams, seeing lights or emotional releases, but I have found myself very groggy in the mornings after listening to the prayer at night (although not as intense the "hit by a truck" feeling others have mentioned).

Zoning occurred more frequently for me when I first began the program. At first it was the experience of complete blankness, as others have reported, but lately I feel I'm actually connecting to something. The experience during these gaps is all very abstract and I'm not able to bring anything back to waking consciousness, but it almost feels as though the prayer being recited by Laura is actually saying something else. I may not be explaining this very well, but it's as if during these zone-outs the prayer changes to explain some things that are too big for my waking consciousness to understand. I forget the content of these messages when I come back to myself, but I'm left with the lingering feeling that something is being communicated, both visually and auditorily. I've also considered the possibility that this may just be me falling asleep and trying to bring back half-formed dreams while my over-enthusiastic imagination is trying to make more of the experience than is really there.

 

[kenlee]

Zoning occurred more frequently for me when I first began the program. At first it was the experience of complete blankness, as others have reported, but lately I feel I'm actually connecting to something. The experience during these gaps is all very abstract and I'm not able to bring anything back to waking consciousness, but it almost feels as though the prayer being recited by Laura is actually saying something else. I may not be explaining this very well, but it's as if during these zone-outs the prayer changes to explain some things that are too big for my waking consciousness to understand. I forget the content of these messages when I come back to myself, but I'm left with the lingering feeling that something is being communicated, both visually and auditorily. I've also considered the possibility that this may just be me falling asleep and trying to bring back half-formed dreams while my over-enthusiastic imagination is trying to make more of the experience than is really there.

I have had very similar experiences. At those moments that I zone out (during the prayer) there is a sense of blanking out and then resurfacing to a linear string of thoughts that I must quiet down and not loose myself in, since this takes my attention away from focusing on the words of the prayer.

So at this point I have to collect myself to focus on the prayer. Then I might zone out at another point. But during this zoning out there is the sense that I’m attending some kind of 'school' or something like that and being taught things that can’t really be brought back into my 'waking” state' where I have to make an effort to collect myself and quiet the noise in my mind to continue focusing on the prayer. But each time I collect myself (after zoning out ) there is this sense that I get more and more into a collected state where I begin to feel all kinds of emotions (even anger). But then I collect myself again and even though these emotions are still being felt my efforts to focus on the prayer continues.

It may be that (and I’m just speculating here) that all this zoning out and then coming back and then, through an effort of the will, making an effort to focus on the prayer again brings the lower ‘noisy’ centers in contact with the higher centers and some kind of tuning process is going on where a lot of my “junk” in the lower centers (negative introjects, worrying, anxiousness, etc) is being worked out and cleaned at some level. At least that’s the impression I get at the moment.

One result I have noticed from doing the breathing program consistently is that my breaths are always much fuller when breathing normally and if I’m feeling anxious there is never a problem for me to fill my lungs with air to full capacity. It wasn’t like this before doing the program. Before, if I wanted to take in a full breath of air, especially when feeling anxious, it was difficult since those specific muscles that allowed for doing this with relative ease were not exercised and/or I was using the wrong muscles.

But now it’s much easier to take in a full breath and, equally important, is the fact that I can fully exhale the air out my lungs without even thinking about it. That’s very significant. When I start to feel anxious, nervous, or angry, my body will begin to exhale all that (bad) air out of my lungs and the feelings subside. However, they don’t go away in a big puff of smoke since I still feel them but now I feel they can be “controlled,” in the sense that my mind does not go with it. My thoughts will calm down with my body calming down and my negative emotions subside correspondingly. In its place, with that energy that normally would have been wasted on the negative emotions, I can begin to feel the world around me and better able to sense the inner state of those around me, including my own.

Another thing is that throughout the day (as a result of doing the breathing program) there are moments (only brief moments) when I notice myself becoming very still, both outwardly and internally. But it’s an active ‘alive’ stillness and not a dead, unconscious, hypnotic one. At this point, there are brief moments when (or so it seems) I can listen to things better, both inwardly (such as the sounds of my breathing, heart beat, sensing my body sensations, listening to my inner voice) and also outwardly (i.e., listening to the sounds outside me, listening to the emotional tones of peoples voices, etc). It’s kind of like standing completely still in between the notes of a musical composition and listening (via the solar plexus) to the feelings that connect all the notes together (or something like that).

 

[mada85]

I recently changed my EE program to include the Prayer meditation in the early morning, done without Laura’s audio track. I’ve been doing this for about a week now, and it seems to have intensified the process and contributed to a clearing of my mind. I’ve had a couple of significant emotional (crying) releases this week.

The first emotional release came when I was in bed with the audio track playing, and as soon as Laura stated reading the Prayer, I was overcome with grief at the ways I have wasted my gifts. Now I know that until one has knowledge and awareness, it is very difficult to see and overcome deep childhood programming, but even so, the responsibility for not overcoming these programs is still mine.

The second emotional release happened just this morning, when I was pondering an old ‘worthlessness’ program in relation to posting on the forum. This is another ‘wasting of gifts’ and awareness of this brought more waves of grief.

I’ve also noticed a relaxation of certain anxieties that have been present in me for as long as I can remember.

Like Buddy, I treasure every moment of working with the breathing program and the Prayer. For the first time, I am doing a meditative practice that actually works. The more that I do the EE and Prayer work, the more that I want to do it. It's like a 'virtuous' circle :)