Hi dannybananny
dannybananny said:
Yesterday, I was doing meditation, I started with prayer and finished with normal relaxing meditation.
Can I ask, are you using a different meditation technique to the guided one with the prayer?? The reason I ask is because my understanding (please correct me if I'm wrong) is the meditations without a seed to focus on (in this case, the prayer is the seed), or by focusing on 'nothing'/emptying your head, you may be opening yourself up to having that space invaded by something else....
So it may be worth just sticking to the prayer, and if you want to meditate yourself, recite the prayer as you go. The idea being that you eventually reach the point where you can focus less on the words and more on the meaning.....
dannybananny said:
I felt some heat in area of my throat, and like some energy in my hands
dannybananny said:
And I can fell for some quite time some pressure in my head, sometimes when I meditate, and that's pressure is here for a longer time.
I have felt this during the prayer, and others have reported it too....as far as I know its quite normal.
dannybananny said:
This wasn't the first time because I was doing meditation before prayer and similar things happened, but i done more meditations for concentrating and was trying to be in the moment in my daily life so maybe I should do more relaxing.
Stick to the pipe breathing and the prayer in the evenings, that's all you need to do. The prayer is a meditation, and can be recited as many times as you want for as long as you want. On Mondays and Thursdays just follow the full guided program. Try putting aside any other meditations you may be doing and just stick with this....it needs no add ons or alterations....especially when you don't know if the add ons are helping or hindering progress.
dannybananny said:
It feels like the scene from Matrix when Morpheus says you can feel it in your head it's like a splinter making you mad. It's like something is in center of my head. Maybe this is something I got to rid of?
If its occurring during the prayer, then its quite normal (its your pineal gland being stimulated as far as I know).
dannybananny said:
this maybe sound funny but in the evening I can see when I look in the empty space something like the space is accelerating like it's fluid, I don't know how to describe it because you can't describe it, like you can se little particles acclerating, and there is often flickering of bulbs. Any ideas?
Probably best not to worry about/focus on such things....take note and move on. :)
I'd like to expand on a past observation I had....
Gawan said:
RedFox said:
Last night was quite interesting. I did a set of pipe breathing followed by the prayer before sleep. I woke up at 3.45am needing the toilet, I also noticed that I had an intense sense of fear (the sort that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck and shivers go up your spine) of the dark. I'm not normally afraid of the dark, however this has happened quite a bit in the past at anywhere between 2am and 4am on certain days of the week - mostly Wednesday nights (I have a working hypothesis it may be 4D STS related....but its only a hypothesis).
So on returning to bed (and generally getting quite annoyed at the 'fear' from nowhere) I did a full set of pipe breathing (with my eyes open), followed by the prayer of the soul (with the aim of repeating it 12 times).
For some reason I was able to do it more clearly than I've been able to do it before (perhaps this is to do with tiredness then?). I did zone out a few times, and came back (like I've done with the audio) to find that I'd moved on a few words/a complete sentence! Now that's truly weird.....usually if I zone out and I'm doing it I stop saying it internally....but this time part of me carried on while another part of me zoned out.
Something similar happened maybe two weeks ago, while I have been doing the beatha part of the full program. I started to be (really) afraid and didn't know from where and what, it just felt strange. Later on I made some notes in my journal and considered, that fear is also a feeling, not a positive one but still a feeling and said to me, when it is happening next time, I try to watch and accept it... Couple of days later, a similar feeling reoccurred also during the beatha-part, and I "saw" critters and monsters and thought to hear noises out of the kitchen (but that's a part I'm not sure if I really heard something).
And since then my mind is a little bit boggling, also of the reason because I'm at the present time alone at home.
But I try to remember your posted quote next time!
Now, here's the kicker: if the displeasing feeling is coming from within the self - if the self finds that there is rage or anger or hate or jealousy or pettiness or whatever is considered negative - when a person is operating from the primitive defense mechanism, that feeling must be denied as part of the self and will be experienced as coming from "out there." (Projection.)
Well I had a revisit from this sensation last night. I payed strict attention to it as best I could and was able to pick out a few things....
I managed to allow my fear to be there and acknowledged it, and kept it below my neck (i.e. allowed it to be but not run my thoughts).
So after unpicking it some more and breathing deeply and slowly something interesting happened....I could sense two things instead of one....my fear and something external in my environment triggering it. A sense of being watched (having someone stood behind you).
I rechecked and checked and could see a distinct line between my fear and an external trigger. That's not to say I wasn't mistaken but it was definitely not in the 'unsure whats causing it' category any more.
I kept getting the thought reoccur with this that 'someones in the house' or 'theres someone stood there' when I was looking at nothing. Real 'intruder' senses tingling. The sense of feeling that if I opened the bathroom door there would be 'something' stood there that would get me. All the while I was deep breathing I thought about this logically...
If there is something there what would I do....I mentally bopped it on the nose and promptly burst out laughing. Heck I'd had enough of it. I would most definitely defend myself if there was an intruder (I should note that the intruders in my minds eye where not the human kind). So I stopped again and thought with as much logic as possible...
Sense of intruder.....fear thoughts/programs poked....focusing time/energy onto these thoughts/loops....nothing there. If my senses where correct and there was 'something' there then there was only one thing it could be (4D STS) and it must be there to feed off this. A directed attack.....well that sure had an interesting effect. It felt like I'd finally closed a door that had been left open far too long.
If it was in my head and my senses where faulty then it was still a waste of energy. The idea of it being an attack with the aim to feed from me....combined with not being afraid of feeling my fear and to defend myself should I have to stopped the whole thing dead.
I went to bed and followed the prayer section of the program and had one of the most relaxed nights sleep in years.....these fearful feelings have plagued me on and off for most of my life....so it is like a huge weight is leaving me. :)
I dreamt of standing under a tree whilst someone in a yellow digger/crane tried to knock the tree whilst I wasn't looking (I told him to not do so)...and eventually did so whilst I where. They extended a grapple on the machine towards something past the tree...it had a rope on the end that it was going to hook something with. So I swung a branch of the tree and timed it so that the rope from the machine wrapped round and stuck on the branch. The look of frustration on the guy running the machine was priceless as it ground to a halt and he had to get out and 'go untangle it'.....I told him he shouldn't have tried, I had told him not to and I would stop him if he did so again.
All that being said mind, I do hope I'm not sailing into a trap of my own wishful thinking here...