Smallwood said:
I haven't done the whole EE these last two weeks, only the meditation. But I wanted to "put on paper" some about what I'm currently thinking.
I need to find a natural and comfortable way of doing the meditation. I also want to partake in a course that will show me exactly how the pipe breathing as well as the other portions of the program are done. I don't know how that's going to happen but I need to something to give me a pat on the back and show me the way to go.
Perhaps I'm one of those who reintegrate in little bits and pieces (Hopefully! I have a nagging suspicion that nothing at all is happening). My obstacle to doing/benefiting from EE seem to be mostly psychological, I'm defeated in advance when I think that nothing is going to happen and in thinking that something SHOULD happen. I have so little faith in the process. I just want to get the experiences that others are getting!
Yet I can see how EE has helped in the past, atleast I think I had some objective progress last winter doing EE, even what I think was emotional release during one dream. Also some hypnagogic states as others have mentioned. But since the psychosis, it seems there is very little advance in these things.
I would so much like to be of more help to myself and others. I would so much like to make progress, shed all this programming from me and be able to See and DO. Do my own part in this grand spectacle.
Aragorn said:
Hi Smallwood. My experiences with the EE program, having done it for the most part regularly for almost a year now, are the following:
The changes and benefits it has brought to my life have happened very gradually and 'under the surface'. I haven't experienced seeing colours or faces, as some have reported, and 'big releases' of trauma have happened only a few times; looking back and trying to see my process I feel more like the traumas and programs have slowly but steadily 'leaked out of me'.
But now, as almost a year has gone by and I look back at my life it's clear that the changes have been remarkable. The biggest and most positive changes have happened only recently. In between there has been all sorts of problems. It seems like one has to trust the process, endure some unpleasent periods and after that the aligning with the universecan start and good things start to happen.
I hope you find the discipline to do the EE regularly and without anticipation. Don't compare your experiences with others, we all react differently. I'm sure you learn the right technique to do the exercises by watching again those excellent videos. Don't let the predator tell you it's too difficult to learn!
Hi Smallwood,
FWIW, I agree with Aragorn and zlyja. I practiced EE regularly last summer/fall and "somehow" I "fell out of practice" over the course of the winter. Last night I reviewed my journal from last year and I noticed a marked change in my attitudes, handwriting and the coherency of my thoughts over the course of the summer/fall (during the time I practiced EE) and a decline in the same over the course of the winter. I pretty much stopped writing in my journal by this spring, so I have no point of comparison for that period! I only recently started practicing EE again and the difference is quite noticeable, although not drastic. I find the seated, 3 stage breathing portion of the program easier to complete each time I do it because my body is more relaxed. I find it easier to sit through the program each time, although I also practice the round breathing/bio-energetic breathing lying down. I feel a bit more patient and less quick to anger, less quick to react. Like I have more space to feel -> think -> act.
Like Aragorn, I have not seen faces or heard voices, nor do I remember any 'big releases' of trauma, crying, etc.
Don't give up! A powerful desire to "do it the right way" or "get it right the first time" led me to slowly drop the full EE practices (I don't have time, I'm not doing it right, etc.) and then slowly fall out of practice with POTS as well over the course of a few months. It was a slow, tricky, sluggish, lazy slide.
I want to share my experiences with the program from the last couple of practices.
I practice the POTS meditation nightly, and I do a few rounds of pipe breathing whenever I think of it over the course of the day. Sometimes this works out to 3 or 4 times, sometimes once or not at all until POTS before sleep. Some days I practice the stretches in the morning with 3 stage breathing and warriors breath, sometimes I wake up late, or am too tired, or don't have time. I practice Ba-ha/round breathing/bio-energetic breathing on Mondays and Thursdays if I can, or if I miss that day I try to fit it in on the next day.
The weather here is very hot and humid, so last night I took a shower before practice, as I did the whole session before bed, but I was all sweaty again by the time I started stage one of 3 stage breathing. I try to pay close attention to the sensations in my body, as Laura says in the recording, which helps me to relax. It seems that I relax a little bit more each time, as the sitting/breathing gets a bit easier each time. When I laid down for bio-energetic breathing I was very sweaty, but by the second round my legs (from the waist down) felt cold and tingly. Maybe an effect of the round breathing? I felt a strong "lifting sensation" on my whole body during the last round, and I noticed that when Ba-Ha was over I was no longer sweaty. I felt very focused during POTS and didn't experience any zoning.
I am reading the Ultra Mind Solution and I have Detoxification and Healing on order. I am already following some of Dr. Hyman's suggestions (eating whole foods, no sugar or HFCS, no caffeine, almost no gluten or dairy and only goats milk, no trans fats, no soy, extra green veggies, all local and organic meats, as little preservatives as possible, daily cod liver oil and multivitamin), but I am stunned by the wealth of information he presents. I think of myself as a healthy person and a very health conscious eater, but I learn something on almost every page of that book.
I put off reading it for way too long because I thought I already knew all about it. OSIT
I hope this is helpful
S