External Consideration turns into Internal Consideration

[Breo]

I am reading this thread since several days, having so many Aha´s, that I still need rethink and exercise in real life.

I have a beginners question on external considering, as I noticed that my weakest times, when I simply cannot stop internal considering and reacting it outwardly are when I am completely exhausted. One small examples I would like to share for feedback:

I helped a friend to clear clutter in her house. Actually I was too tired to do the work, but nevertheless did it, as "things had to be done". It did not go easy and forgetting to observe myself happened more and more, until in the late evening, when all where tired we both clicked into an emotional issue.

How do you deal with such situations, when there is not enough energy available in the moment to deal with "taming the internal wolves" to get a clear head for external consideration? Forgive yourself, move on and continue practicing? Looking back in my life, I can see, that I created a lot of damage in automate reactions when I was overstrained. I now learn to deal with my autoimmune disease, where one symptom level is an irregular lack of muscle strength and energy. I want to learn to stop internal consideration and reacting in times when I am completely exhausted, which just reproduces stress in my life and everybody around me.

Thanks for any input.

 

[Mountain Crown]

[quote author=Breo]Forgive yourself, move on and continue practicing?[/quote]

Yes.

All are lessons.

 

[cubbex]

How do you deal with such situations, when there is not enough energy available in the moment to deal with "taming the internal wolves" to get a clear head for external consideration? Forgive yourself, move on and continue practicing?

Remember them, and prevent them. If you know why you had the discussion, talk it with your friend, so he may know too that you were just tired.
External-internal consideration as I see, takes its role in different ways and events, so therw will always be a new problem haha I found this in past, I thought ok I committed a mistake, won't do it again, and I didn't again in a similar situation, but other appeared and I made a mistake again hehe.

 

[Breo]

Yes.

All are lessons.

Yes. I am reading and rereading this and the Selfremembering thread. Thank you for the clear reminder.

Remember them, and prevent them. If you know why you had the discussion, talk it with your friend, so he may know too that you were just tired.

I just spent a day with this friend and practiced. It was new, more gentle, lighter. I realized to disconnect from my internal voices (that try to convince me that I feel wordless about my own needs), to permit myself to play "a role" had an overall relaxing effect on my being. I felt the quantity of stress that is involved in keeping and feeding my automate. To find words for taking care of my wellbeing while taking care of my friend became light. And I could see the times the automate wanted to jumpstart...what helped me to stay on track was also the POTS.

External-internal consideration as I see, takes its role in different ways and events, so there will always be a new problem haha I found this in past, I thought ok I committed a mistake, won't do it again, and I didn't again in a similar situation, but other appeared and I made a mistake again hehe.

Indeed. Training again and again to laugh/smile at the ego/automate self in action, not falling into seriousness on what the internal fool produces.

Every situation is different, but regular patterns do emerge. It's okay to make mistakes so long as you learn from them.

By observing the emerging patterns, do you refer to the patterns of internal consideration?

 

[Hesper]

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread. It has completely changed the way I see internal/external consideration, as well as what "it" really looks and feels like in daily life.

I would like to add a situation in which I think we can provoke the predator. When we're driving around, whether it's on the open road or on city streets, we often come across people who are going much slower than us. Rather than pass them, thinking "morons", we can stay behind them, and drive slowly as well. When I do this my negative introject flames up, saying "you look like an idiot", and "you look like a terrible driver now, too!" I think this is a useful time to clear the mind, focus on the moment, and try and notice the feelings that have emerged. This is how I have come to fight the predator. No thinking, just focusing. I remember reading Don Juan say that, and I'm paraphrasing, by clearing the mind we can send the flyer running to the hills.

 

[Oxajil]

Re: External Consideration

Didn't know where else to post this, so I'll post this here. I learned something about external consideration (concerning diet changes) that I'd like to share.

Making diet changes can be difficult, since our family members and/or friends will start labeling us as 'crazy'. But we gotta stay consistent with what we choose. Somewhere some years ago, we (my family) went to Germany to visit my uncle. When we had breakfast, I had my own organic peanut butter and some organic bread (I was at the beginning of making diet changes) that I had brought with me. At first I hesitated to take it with me, but I did so anyway, I figured there is no reason to hide.

When my uncle saw it, and I explained what it is, he shaked his head and told me this is crazy. Of course I got a little hurt by it, but viewing it from their perspective, it's, in a way, understandable. I know that they don't know any better, and it is on a certain level, my responsibility to accept them the way they are. So I did not say anything, and tried to enjoy my sandwich. I also understood that he must have felt a bit disrespected since he bought fresh bread etc. and I didn't take what he offered. I was thankful for his offer, but there is no need for me to sacrifice myself for his needs, so I said 'No, thank you'. I had to remind myself to not feel guilty.

This year, in february, my uncle visited us. He, like some other family members, know about my interest in healthy food and the diet changes I had made. Interestingly, when he was here, he couldn't wait to talk to me. I was in my room, doing my homework, and he kept asking if I could come to the living room for a talk. I told him if he could please wait until I had finished my work. He called my name a few times more. Then when I finished, I went to the living room, and he started talking with me about how his back had hurt, and he told me that the doctor said it was a nerve being stressed which causes him severe pain at times. He actually asked me for advice. Interesting, isn't it? So it seems, that being consistent in what one does, having faith in the knowledge one has, and having respect, keeps the door open for others to walk in.

I taught him how to pipe breath and told him he could do this whenever he likes to, for example, whenever he'd feel pain. And after some discussing and explaining I gave him my magnesium powder, and magnesium oil. I also gave him some dietary recommendations, as in: cooking in animal fats, rather than in olive oil. To eat lots of meat, to avoid dairy etc. I also told him that sleep is very important.

Whereas before he'd call me crazy, that day he thanked me for my advice, and seriously listened to me.

Now, I don't know whether he will follow my recommendations, whether he takes the magnesium, but I do know that I gave what I could give.

Yes, our loved ones, or those who are close to us, walk different paths, but that is no reason for us to disrespect them, or to make them follow our own. It's our task, if we so choose, to accept their choices and to keep an eye on them, and just be ready when they are in need.

Of course it also depends on the situation! Thank you for reading.

 

[eternusphoenix]

Re: External Consideration

I learned something about external consideration (concerning diet changes) that I'd like to share.
...
So it seems, that being consistent in what one does, having faith in the knowledge one has, and having respect, keeps the door open for others to walk in.

Now, I don't know whether he will follow my recommendations, whether he takes the magnesium, but I do know that I gave what I could give.

Yes, our loved ones, or those who are close to us, walk different paths, but that is no reason for us to disrespect them, or to make them follow our own. It's our task, if we so choose, to accept their choices and to keep an eye on them, and just be ready when they are in need.

Of course it also depends on the situation! Thank you for reading.

Oxajil, this is really helpful to me. I will be seeing immediate members of my family for the first time in about a year and a half sometime over the next few weeks and I was not looking forward to their dietary criticism. Your post really helped me to put that concern into perspective and gave me an idea of the best mindset to have in that situation. Thank you.

 

[Esprit]

Are you able to be externally considerate, when you are experiencing an emotional storm? Is your smile authentic in spite of an inner state of anxiety or aversion?



This thought lead me to question the interpretation that one can be externally considerate in spite of one’s internal state. That is not to say that we should not make the effort or practice to be externally considerate in spite of the internal identification. The failure of this effort is proof that I am a machine, when I am identified.

I wonder if others have experimented with external consideration, and have insight which may clarify through the fog, our efforts to understand how and when we are doing external consideration.

I think it's not always black and white when external consideration happens. There could be a battle happening involving our aim, self remembering and sleeping with some moment of outside consideration. Depending on circonstances and experience it might be easy or hard to do sometimes.

 

[Esprit]

I am reading this thread since several days, having so many Aha´s, that I still need rethink and exercise in real life.

I have a beginners question on external considering, as I noticed that my weakest times, when I simply cannot stop internal considering and reacting it outwardly are when I am completely exhausted. One small examples I would like to share for feedback:

I helped a friend to clear clutter in her house. Actually I was too tired to do the work, but nevertheless did it, as "things had to be done". It did not go easy and forgetting to observe myself happened more and more, until in the late evening, when all where tired we both clicked into an emotional issue.

How do you deal with such situations, when there is not enough energy available in the moment to deal with "taming the internal wolves" to get a clear head for external consideration? Forgive yourself, move on and continue practicing? Looking back in my life, I can see, that I created a lot of damage in automate reactions when I was overstrained. I now learn to deal with my autoimmune disease, where one symptom level is an irregular lack of muscle strength and energy. I want to learn to stop internal consideration and reacting in times when I am completely exhausted, which just reproduces stress in my life and everybody around me.

Thanks for any input.

This post is a little old but in case somebody has similar health situation I think reading healing developmental trauma could provide some clues or a possible solution to this condition.

"Healing Developmental Trauma" by L. Heller and A. LaPierre