How are you feeling?

[Renaissance]

I had a vivid dream this past week where I was in a run down and abandoned city. Kind of like a sci-fi dystopia. I was in a room with a handful of people. I was close to them and although I don't remember any faces, my impression was that they were my housemates and members of our group here. I was a bit run down and in desperate shape. A woman came in the room, a healer, and put her hands on the top of my left forearm and there was this burning light that came out of her hands. It was like Reiki times 10,000. It felt searing and painful but also not a bad pain.

I have been dealing with issues of fears around love, and have felt rather spiritually disconnected this past three weeks to a month. It ran pretty deep and I feel like I did have to retreat inward to deal with it. I think I was going through a healing crisis of sorts. During this time I lost my wallet as well as my passport (pretty sure I will find my passport but I think my wallet is gone), also while needing to get a new ID at work. I was struggling with was issues involving who I am, with love and spiritual connection, and was feeling quite lost to say the least. I asked the Divine Cosmic Mind to clear my eyes so that I may see, and I dug into the fears I had been going through. I got to the root of it and was able to let go of a number of deep troubling emotions.

I think the healing woman in my dream was my partner, and I think the light symbolized the awakening of some creative energy that had been dormant for a long, long time. Today, I feel hopeful and connected, and I also feel like I have a much greater access to my creative spirit that for me is expressed through productivity, working on house projects, and the like. I always feel like there is some wall in front of me when I work on such things (despite desire and effort), and it feels like that wall has been taken down.

 

[Lucius]

Also I was wondering if others on the forum have been feeling this way in recent weeks too. For my part, every so often I have been waking up at 3:30 or 4:30 at night for the last few years. Mostly after a "strong sleep".

I've been feeling very tired for the last 3 weeks, I've been wondering if it's due to work and embracing life plus a hospital visit (oncology tests, went well, next visit in the 2nd half of January CT scan or no mazotow) and the situation with my mum who was also in hospital.

I sleep off during the day, cs used to talk about a list of 8-10 things for protection, i.e. I can't remember anymore off putting, e.g. don't get caught up in negative thoughts, EE, pray, mental hygiene. Itd.

If I catch myself turning on sad music I change to classical music or Gregorian Hurries.

I also have in the back of my mind "sit tight" and "Don't borrow problems / worries from the future" and "that everything is a lesson and is happening as it should" and that in sum the Here and Now is just "riding the wave emotionally".

Observing people around and talking to them a lot of people are standing up "on crack" or "holding on to hm safe vision" i.e. they don't accept, don't see and don't want to know what is happening. In the family I give emotional support to my sisters and parents if they ask for it and I say that everything is a lesson and at ease.

Hm for my part I also still have this cs somehow in the last sessions they wrote. To take care of your emotions etc. And I have that in the back of my mind too.

Generally it's like watching a "movie" I feel like I'm in a different movie script ie. Slight misfit with the general population.

From dreams somehow within 2 weeks I also had a dream where I was fighting bad energy.

 

[T.C.]

I've heard from a number of people that they are experiencing seasonal affective disorder already, only a few weeks after the Fall Behind time change. Maybe start taking vitamin D, exercise, meditate, ground yourself first thing in the morning. If you are feeling like the sun going down is "gloom and doom", try doing some things that will up your mood.

I take 8000iu of Vit D every day, do an hour on the treadmill at home 4 or 5 days a week and meditate and pray regularly. I’ll look into making a grounding sheet to sleep on.

 

[Mark7]

It seems there is a negative vibe that many people are sensing right now and for very good reasons. I dropped off my mostly meat, no sugar diet a couple of months ago and that was a mistake. I had been eating a fairly strict, one-meal-a-day fasting with a paleo and carnivore diet. I had lost some 50 pounds in a year and was starting to worry that I would get too skinny. However, the added carbs led to sugar, which led to increased dissociative behaviors. I am struggling to get back where I was have done a good bit of voluntary suffering over it and I am doing better. I should watch myself closely over the holidays as it's a temptation to eat stuff I shouldn't. If you have cut a lot of carbs don't expect to take a holiday from it without paying some price.

I am working on doing some common-sense prepping as well as trying to get some family members to a more objective consensus about what is going on. I have some stress over all this but It helps to have a sense of gratitude. Experiencing all the suffering, especially in GAZA right now is tough, but I guess I am grateful that I am here to experience it, I cannot paramoralize it out of existence like some people can. I have not dreamt much lately, but I had a dream earlier this week where I seemed to see the world's workings with humanity sort of dancing to enforced music that was controlling them. This world seemed like a complex production machine in a manufacturing environment. I saw a part of the machine that I had never seen before, it was a function or process that worked with other processes that I knew about, but this new thing had been integral all the time. So maybe the dream meant that something significant that has been going on behind the scenes for a long time may be either exposed or come out in the open as part of 'the plan', or as a result of the coming chaos. Wait and see I guess.

 

[Temperance]

Been fairly down lately and burnt out, though other factors could influence that, work has been busy, things keep breaking needing emergency fixes, those close to me having personal emergencies, etc.

Last night I had a dream one of my coworkers died crushed by something and that another one tried to "cover it up" and trying to sweep it under the rug. Not sure what it means, but that's my two cents here.

 

[Ina]

@Joe , I have been thinking a lot these days about asking the Cs the question...
How are you
or
How are you feeling
combined with,
What can we do to help? or nevermind, just keep the knowlege questions to minimum, and let Cs articulate the incoming silence.

As for me, I am feeling exhausted, as it is more and more difficult to naturally project genuine strength and confidence, calm and optimism and all nice stuff.

But Hey! I want to see first the fat lady sing, and then, in the light of new information we’ll revise the situation to see the best in the worst!

Ciao e Auguri!

 

[Natus Videre]

I had lost some 50 pounds in a year and was starting to worry that I would get too skinny.

I've lost around 10 pounds over the last 2.5 years going very slowly with the elimination diet. My family thinks I'm committing suicide, and regularly reminds me that I'll end up in the hospital with a feeding tube. Not very uplifting vibes...

I've recently added more animal fat to my diet, but it's very hard for me to gain weight because I eat much less when I'm highly stressed. So I maintain my weight during periods of low stress, but then I lose some weight during periods of high stress—downward sloping weight trajectory. Gaining muscle has never been an issue, but getting ripped while losing overall mass is not really 'fun.'
Skinny problems not getting any skinnier...

 

[Lukasz]

I felt very good in October. I love autumn and colorful leaves everywhere and it lifted my spirits. I was on vacation in the mountains and everything was quite good and normal. November, however, was quite hard for me, starting with an illness and later with many pessimistic thoughts.

The sore throat started suddenly in the middle of the night around 3am, lasted a couple of days and then suddenly subsided.

I had a similar experience on November 1. This is the first time something like this has happened to me. I fell asleep in good shape and then out of the blue I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat and runny nose.

It might be worth mentioning that the night before, when I was half awake, still with my eyes closed, I had a glimpse of some kind of orange blobs moving around like in a caleidoscope. And I hardly ever see anything with my eyes closed, so I thought it was important.

The illness was like a strong common cold. Sore throat, rhinitis, and a fever. After about a week I felt better, with only a little sore throat and sinus problems for a few days. In the meantime I had a thought that this virus might have a positive effect on me, but so far I haven't noticed anything.

For about two weeks after the illness I was in a pretty bad mood. It's better now, but I still have moments of low spirits mixed with moments of high optimism.

On November 11, I had a strange dream that may be worth mentioning because it involved forum members. In this dream I came to the lake and saw that a group of forum members were also there. One of them, named Matteo in the dream, went swimming in the lake and drowned. I went to the group to offer my condolences. Then I started to hear Matteo talking in my mind. I grabbed a book that I had at hand and started taking notes. Matteo was talking about his death, why it happened, and many other things I can't remember.

Regarding 3 am, whenever I have a dream from which I wake up scared, it almost always happens at 3 am. Lately, however, I only had one such occurrence a week ago. In the dream, I saw a group of people working on some kind of strange sculpture and I was hit hard on the head by one of them to stop me from seeing what they were doing. When I was hit, I immediately woke up.

I also noticed that I have a lot more headaches lately. But I started taking Bromelain + NAC so it might be related.

And the last observation is that I feel there is more of a contrast between how I feel in a city (bad) and how I feel outside of it (better) these days. It was always there, but now the contrast seems to be much more pronounced.

 

[Tristan]

I haven't noticed anything particularly unusual lately, although there seems to be a widespread apathy in society. However, I also perceive that it is as if there is something "strange" in the environment, I have been noticing it for quite some time. And now when I watch or read the news about what is happening in Gaza, my stomach turns. Most people do not care, they are not attentive to the data on the effects of vaccination, they are not even moved by the economic problems of the country. What seems to move the masses in part is only under the self-interested manipulation of some, or has not genuinely grown when it comes to protesting...for whatever reason of what the PTB is doing to us. Perhaps my assessment is too subjective.

As for me, I am feeling exhausted, as it is more and more difficult to naturally project genuine strength and confidence, calm and optimism and all nice stuff.

I guess that I feel very much the same way.

 

[Jacques]

I wonder what's up with this 3am thing.

Well there's the well-known 11pm-2am 'window' when you get optimal sleep and restoration, so maybe it's related to that in the sense that it's after that period that we're in a particular sleep cycle/state. Maybe REM sleep happens more often around that time?

Another phisological process involves the liver processing stress hormones like cortisol. My understanding is that if the liver can't keep up for various reasons and levels are higher than they should be in the blood at night we get "stress dreams".

I was thinking the same thing. I think that's partly why traditional Chinese medicine refers to 1-3am as "liver o'clock" and that people who regularly wake up between 1-3am should buttress their liver's responsibilities at that time by supplementing before bed.

Maybe that article can help in a certain way : Traditional Chinese Organ Body Clock: Lana Moshkovich, DACM, L.AC: Chinese Medicine

 

[Amor]

I personally don't remember having any real intense dreams or in very great detail, something I could put into nightmares. I did have some bizzare dream where the theme was looking for jesus like figure. I also had dreams about having relationships with women I suppose that may be due to recent supplementation of boron and k2 in my diet which elevated some testosterone levels during the day. I also had dreams of being in a group friends or belonging some where. This kind of theme has been recurring for a while. I also had some dreams where I am fighting, or running from someone, but it didn't disturb me very much. I also remember of having a very weird dream that stuck in my mind from summer time about being at some place having some kind of therapy and then suddenly got a vision of how my dna got sliced or separated into two, or cut.
When it comes to sleep I have been waking up at night for the last maybe 3 years and having a smole and then getting back to sleep again. I started doing so after reading that nicotine may help with psychic protection so it kind of stuck with me now.
In last months I got my self Into routine of job and working out. I had some thoughts of being kind of lonely or looking down on my self, but then I compare my self where I am now and where I was exactly one year ago and then I cant ignore the progress that has been done. Maybe not exactly as I would fully desire but still got a bit ahead in different areas of my life like health, finance, energy, asserting my self, respecting my self more, setting the boundaries and sticking to it. Ofcourse there is space for improvement.I also tried neurofeedback and I kind of have hard time remembering of what kind of person I was before the sessions. During the year I cut my self from a lot of friends with whom I experienced wasting my time and energy. This year I experienced as reintigration. For some reason I have thoughts about loneliness being replaced as thoughts that I will die alone anyways and that I have to be patient with my self and simply go through any karma without trying to control too much. I also recently have been having thoughts of having relationships with women but for some reason I hesitate and I also am having thoughts that it would be much fruitful to work on some trauma issues that are most probably holding me back, or atlest becoming a better man.

 

[BHelmet]

FWIW, 3 is the “hour of divine mercy”. (Technically 3pm when Christ was mercifully allowed to pass from this world.) But at 3am the world is quiet. A good time to listen and reflect?

As for my own feelings? A bit like the ancient mariner in the doldrums.

 

[Jones]

Like others, I had a nasty cough earlier this month. I started to wonder if it was whooping cough because my family had all just taken the whooping cough vaccination and my BIL come down with a cough and cold soon after. For two days and nights it was quite intense and none of the usual measures I take were having any impact on it. I finally asked for a dry cough mix from the chemist and slept for two days after I started taking it, I'd wake up coughing, take a dose and it would knock me out again. I didn't get any head or sinus congestion though so perhaps the other measures were helping with that. I still have an occasional cough now that is productive, there doesn't seem to be infection though because the product is either clear or white. Dunno, coughing that intensely and consistently might injure lungs so maybe this is just a healing phase. I know all the muscles involved in coughing felt as though they'd been torn and bruised. First time I've taken a test (RAT) for COVID and the result was a negative.

We had a client in at work who is from Palestine and he briefly mentioned family over there. He was just managing to hold back his emotions but really couldn't say much. It was kind of shock like, a brief moment that stands still in time. All I could do was nod and let him know that I knew, it was a fleeting interaction because we were busy, he was on his way out and the CEO, probably none the wiser about the true nature and gravity of what the man was saying, interrupted him. The situation over there has a similar element to many trauma's in that those that are experiencing them have opposition to speaking out about them that comes in various forms along with a deep sense of hopelessness to do anything about it for those suffering it.

It's super hard to stay in that information, it's shocking and painful. In a way, I'm thankful that most at work are none the wiser. It provides a break to concentrate on other things and to do helpful things for others. I don't avoid subjects about the reality of the situation that come up though and offer what I know when they do, but same as the CEO, most truly don't get the gravity and probably can't yet so I don't waste time or energy trying to convince anyone or belabouring points, just briefly call it as I see it if the subject arises. Then it's back to work. It helps to stave off depression to learn to be polyvagal informed and be on the lookout for regulating ventral vagal experiences and try to share them or create them with others. Work in progress.

 

[Alejo]

Thought I'd start a thread here on this seemingly very general topic. The reason being that, from time to time, members have posted in other threads (or started new ones) to express odd feelings about the state of the world or the society in which they live, and how it may be impacting them psychologically and emotionally. I also noticed a few notable people on social media mentioning that they were feeling particularly weird or negative in recent days/weeks, with one or two saying that they had been unusually waking up at 3am recently with dark or "demonic" thoughts.

Anyway, that's what this thread is for; for members here to highlight any odd, out of the blue feelings or perceptions that may, or may not, be related to the less than optimal path that our world seems to be following.

Basically, it's a place to share 'how you are feeling' about yourself, the world in which we all live, and the events that are taking place on it.

I will catch up with this thread, however I will add that I have been feeling.. oddly good humored at times and then very very pessimistic, it comes and goes.

Also, recently despite no strange dreams, not every time at least, I have been waking up at 1:20AM on the dot and a 5:00 AM on the dot for a few weeks, with a strange sense, I do not feel anyone in the room, I do not hear anything and I am not always reacting to a dream, actually most times I am not.. but I have this sense that I am waking up in response to someone requesting me to be awake at that moment, as if someone had woken me up.

 

[Maya]

This thing about waking up in 3 AM is very interesting. It used to happen to me maybe 2-3 times during a year. But this last 3 months it is happening almost every day. That's why I started taking melatonin again but with no impact on this. Only my dreams become wild and vivid as it gets. I'm awake, like Alejo said, like someone needs you to be awake and fully present in that moment. For an hour. Then I do pipe breathing and POTS and fall back to sleep until 5. Then I must get up for work. Actually, that nigh time is the most peacefull and comforting part of the day.