How are you feeling?

[loreta]

Ah, upbeat songs for dancing only!

My thoughts exactly! Thank you for putting them into words. I had/have a temper and I am learning to keep my emotions in check when people are trying to provoke me, while utilising my anger in a constructive way. It is a very good lesson as I'm certain the number of people who are losing it is growing exponentially.

I forgot to add a few things in my last post, but I have been doing quite a bit to support myself emotionally. I have been taking lithium orotate and Bach Rescue Remedy drops, plus I have a rest from time to time. Basically, I am giving myself some space, I focus on my projects and work and if I think I can't handle all those misguided 'anti-racists' in my professional network any longer I take a step back, otherwise I will go mad.

And besides meditations I also listen to one of Dick Sutphen's hypnosis recordings on how to deal with chaos which is really helpful. My two cents.

I forgot me too to say that I take also the Rescue Remedy. And I rest, also. Without feeling bad for taking a rest. When sad I take also Ignatia Amara, homeopathy. It helps when sad, angry, chaotic inside yourself. Or with regretting things you did in the past.

Ignatia Amara:

This remedy comes from Strychnos ignatii, a large tree found mainly in the Philippine Islands. In the 17th century, Jesuits were very attracted to the plant, so they brought samples back to Europe. People call Ignatia Amara by the common name St. Ignatius bean in honour of the Jesuit leader, St. Ignatius of Loyola, who is the modern patron saint of spiritual retreats and exercises. Today, homeopaths take the seeds from this plant and grind them up into a fine powder. This then usually goes into capsules or is made into pills, although some people use it in tonics.

The main use for St. Ignatius bean is the treatment of emotional upset, especially depression, grief, anxiety, and stress. In fact, some individuals refer to it as “homeopathic Prozac®.” The symptoms often linked to these problems, such as poor digestion, headaches, crying and insomnia, all are said to lessen when taking it. Here, the idea isn’t that the substance will totally erase symptoms, but rather that the person taking it simply will have a greater mental strength to cope with them. People who advocate using it also typically say it is a good remedy for other illnesses, as well, such as asthma, gout, cholera and even epilepsy.

 

[iamthatis]

Thank you iamthatis, your post really struck a chord within me. Especially as is it currently critical for me to wisely choose the best use of my time, lower energy threshold permitting.

To cut a very long and convuluted story short: Our solicitor here died in July 2021. IN 2004 he set up a legally required trust for everything I and my mum (and on behalf of our family) have here. Including my home of 21 years.
His second son took over his father's responsibilities in the legal business and was instrumental in the converyancing on the sale of mum's land last year. During which despite my continued protests embezzled nearly 25% of the sales funds including tax payments, refusing to forward the proceeds, or give us power of attorney to initate an audit trail for yet another court case.
Meantime, this year he failed to inform us, until my new solicitor demanded this POA, that his elder brother had instigated a court case against him for embezzling the family's inheritance (I was correct in thinking he had a gambling addiction).
Also in this court case his brother is claiming that his father's trust to us belongs to his father's estate, and none of our assets are ours! My spirit family keep me informed as there is no other way to get facts and they state greedy powerful people behind this to make profit and other trusts he has done will go through same. Plus they have forged documents and taken documents needed fro our files in the legal office. Plus we have a hard fight on our hands to even win this due to yet another corrupt system and justice system!
So I am literally fighting to keep my home and my animals or be on the street as no plan B due to squatters in mum's flat here!
Plus to qualify for residency here annually you need to have a property worth more than the flat! Or you get deported (Very convenient).
So despite the heat here being unbearable, I realized how lucky I was to have shrewly bought an air conditioner from my dwindling funds! It is like a Godsend to me allowing me to be able to concentrate and focus daily on the next vital court preparations I need to do. I liken my lounge to Plato's cave as dark inside as only one window. But I imagine it to be my protective sanctuary (whilst I can still live here), as I battle to save everything me and my parents worked for, plus my project here.
There are days when my mind or body or both refuse to function. Or I choose to take a break, in which case I daily visit the forum, thus my many recent interactions, plus keep up to date on world affairs. As the other concerns are the immenent Israeli war close by, and my mother back in hospital in UK due to fluid on longs and tighteness on her heart.
Despite this I do my best to keep in balance and inner equilibrium as much as possible. Looking only at what is in front of me to do that day (if possible, as I need to try to love myself too to keep calm), and my animals help with this tremendously as I have other 'souls' to love and care for.
What I am particularly grateful for is your link to the I-Ching. Although I have a super book, I have had no chance to study it so for guidance and inner feedback I thought I would try your link for my first ever reading.
It seems to be truly accurate and epitomises what I am currently going though as well as what is intrinsically important to me! I was gobsmacked and very grateful. I share it below and recommend other's find as it feels like a 'treat' to know. Many thanks.



I would really be very grateful if expert readers of I Ching can comment on deeper meanings/warnings/things to work on, I need to be aware of, as I am a newby and only read it superfically.

Until this court case is competed, which can take months, or years here, I choose to remain reclusive, on task, except chopping wood and carrying water. xxxx

I'm no expert, but the emphasis in your reading is on action and choice. The difficulty is that action and choice are derived from our belief system and our dominant mode of perception. If we make a choice and take an action based on limiting beliefs, or not Seeing clearly, then that's the FRV we're embodying, and that's what the cosmos will likely respond to. The result is a limitation of some kind, the situation unresolved.

So it seems clear to me that you have to do something, and do something different. Go over what you know about yourself - what are your core beliefs about yourself? What are your core beliefs about the situation? And more to the point, what of these core beliefs would you change?

Change core beliefs isn't easy at all. They are hard-wired in from an early age, and reside in the subconscious. For me its taken a lot of repetition, patience, frustration, doubt, self-hatred, hatred of others, forgiveness, humour, blood-sweat-and-tears (etc,) to start undoing the knots in my nervous system, overcode my programming, and start painting a new scene on the inner canvas.

One really wonderful resource for changing core beliefs is positive self-talk. There is a post (below) that helped me when I read it every night aloud as a prayer for how I want to be. Reading aloud is important - the connection of the intent with the voice, and sending those vibrations out into the sound plane, paired with the resonance in the body. Reading it consistently allows the words to settle in the subconscious, too. With this internal work, especially when paired with conscious external efforts, the core beliefs can start to shift, and the situation can become more clear.

Life is religion. Life experiences are a reflection of my interaction with God. I have faith in my interaction with creation. The world does not exist for me overcome or ignore or shut out. I become what I give to life. I pay strict attention to objective reality left and right.

I no longer have the need to control everything around me. I do not impose my will on how I think the world, others or myself should be. Instead, I trust the universe, and I know that all is as it should be. I am open to reality as it truly is. I accept the light, knowledge, and love of the Divine, and I give it others.

I learn the lessons that are presented to me. No matter the difficulty I face, I understand that all there is is lessons. When I find myself distracted or distressed I pause and remember that all there is is lessons. This is one infinite school.

I do what is in front of me to do without expectation or anticipation of the outcome. Everything I do in life is my choice. As such I never hold resentments toward myself, others or the world for anything I do. I realize my gifts and talents by giving them to others. I give freely to those who are asking, and I give what is asked for instead of what I think someone should have. I no longer act as God by determining the needs of others. I accept that we all have own lessons and will experience life as we need.

I have a happy-go-lucky attitude. I easily let go of desire, tensions, and attachments to imagined events, anticipation, and things. By this, I purify my intent, which is the basis for all my actions. I place my trust in the Divine Cosmic Mind and choose to live in alignment with the infinitely creative force.

I have within my mind all of creation. I am a duplicate of the universe within which I dwell. My mind represents all that exists. It is fun to see how much I can access. Within my mind are all the creative and destructive elements of the universe and all the many Faces of God. I am interconnected with all by our mutual possession of all there is. Through my intent and my action, I choose my alignment. I choose service to others. I serve myself by serving others.

Another one that I found to be really good is from Louise Hay's book:

Deep at the centre of my being,
there is an infinite well of love.

I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness,
my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions
and returns to me mutliplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good,
it is an expression of my inner joy.

I love myself;
therefore, I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages,
I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly
responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself; therefore provide for myself
a comfortable home, one that fills
all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.
I fill the rooms with the vibration of love
so that all who enter, myself included,
will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore I work at a job I truly enjoy
doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities,
working with and for people I love and who love me,
and earning a good income.

I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving
way to all people for I know that that which I give out
returns to me multiplied.
I only attract loving people in my world,
for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself; therefore I forgive and totally release
the past and all past experiences and I am free.

I love myself; therefore I live totally in the now,
experiencing each moment as good and knowing that
my future is bright and joyous and secure,
for I am a beloved child of the Universe
and the Universe lovingly takes care of me
now and forever more.

And so it is.

 

[pinkfreud]

@dani FWIW, about 3 weeks ago, Mercury Transit in Virgo began.
Now, I am not expert - more of a dabbler in astrology, but I thought this might be worth sharing to you for perspective:

That last line seems pretty important.

I am not implying you have no reason to feel the way you do (in fact I have had similar feelings with far less on my plate!)

it only lasts another three days. Hang in there, and see if life doesn’t soften a bit for you. You are doing the work that must be done.

 

[candasiri]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

dani I hope that you hang in there and appreciate your honest post. Lots of shame and deep negative emotions came up out of the swamp for me recently too and felt like a full on psychic attack. And it sounds like you have a lot of responsibilities.

I reached out to my shamanic healer and she really helped me through it. I also re-read Amazing Grace by Laura again. And then watched Dr Ramani on youtube who specializes in healing from narcissistic abuse--she's a psychologist and also healed from narcissistic abuse herself.

 

[Wandering Star]

And I rest, also. Without feeling bad for taking a rest.

Something very important and for which an intense social programming has been done to prevent it.

One of my grandparents always told me when I was tired: "Well, when you die you can sleep as much as you want!".

Resting is necessary and very important for the mind and our brain.

 

[Fluffy]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

Lots of love and care filled feelings from me to you Dani. Everyone’s given you some wonderful advice and I won’t add much more to it other than - I’ve been there and I think it’s sometimes necessary to ‘go there’, it’s a desolate place to be and frightening, terrifying even, that may be you’ll stay there.. but you won’t, I can almost guarantee this is just like a house cleaning where you get rid of everything, the furniture, strip the walls, rip up the carpet, gut the bathrooms and kitchen til there’s nothing left but the structure- so you can be refurbished completely. You’ve heard of ‘the dark night of the soul’?? We can have then at major junctures in our growth and learning, and some mini ones when we drift off track.
With whatever strength you can muster up to keep the Faith alive in you, cling onto it tight like your life depends on it. Doing stuff is hard right now, I know, you probably totally couldn’t care less (I’ve experienced it, just completely CBF) but Faith is what will carry you. I use a capital F because of its absolute importance.
Trust that the universe knows what it’s doing
Big big hug Dani. You’re not alone

 

[Fluffy]

I have been dealing with a strange sensation, and I use the word precisely because it does not feel like an emotion, that I perceive to be just outside my physical body a few inches (though it does penetrate the body somewhat) in the solar plexus (or lower at the umbilicus area). It is not necessarily unpleasant. It is intermittent and seems unrelated to any thoughts or events, other than sometimes just as I am falling asleep (but not only). The closest thing I could describe it to is a falling sensation. As I think about it, I wonder if this is what anxiety feels like?

The first time I noticed this sensation was when my mother was dying in Summer 2019 and I was with her in the hospice facility. At that time I wondered if it was a spirit attachment, or maybe something related to the umbilicus due to losing my mother.

I practice yoga and this seems to alleviate the sensation temporarily. Also, I've started practicing EE with this in mind as one of the things I would like to clear. The day after my first full practice on Zoom with the group, it came back after a long period of not experiencing it very often.

My intention is to feel it, breathe into it and let it move through and out. I also ask what I can learn from it. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't a positive thing, like an opening or expansion.

I am 58 years old and I have done quite a bit of work on myself throughout the years, processing emotions, removing triggers etc. I would say I am in excellent physical health and my life is going very well.

The sensation feels like a field of energy, maybe current or electrified or just excited, activated. It is annoying, but not uncomfortable or painful or particularly icky. I am starting a notebook to record when I feel it, time of day, activities & thoughts, and recent food or beverage in-take.

I don’t want to dismiss anything you say by adding this but are you taking care of electrolytes ? I had same symptoms for some time and fixed it with potassium intake. Seems that some of us who need lots of salt also have to be mindful of potassium not to throw out the balance between the two.
Apologies if I’m out of line with this comment.

 

[truepositive]

I can't find a properly matching clip right now, but as Babylon 5 stated; 'Faith manages'.

 

[Expedition26]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

That is dark, I’m sorry you’re going through that. It sounds as if you’re numb and you need a good cry or scream to snap yourself out of it.

You said you’re familiar with homeopathy? If you want a recommendation, or even if you don’t I guess :) I would suggest trialing some mega potencies 1M + of Natrum Muricum, Aurum Metallicum, or as @loreta was talking about Ignatia. Or even Sepia, not wanting to participate in family life (wanting to run away, etc) is a sepia state.

One of those will pull you out, even if you need to re dose often.

Nat Mur is one of my best friends when I am in a depressed funk.

 

[Jones]

Hi @dani, depression is not unexpected given the state of things. Perhaps the following will help to know that you are not alone and others also have and do travel this path.

Depression As A Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth)

Re: The First Victory. Comments on LKJ's \ Hi Manuel It can be found through a web archive as the page is no longer there http://web.archive.org/web/20071018053505/http://quantumfuture.net/qfs/qfs_depression1.htm

cassiopaea.org

All the best to you.

 

[Artisan Well]

I don’t want to dismiss anything you say by adding this but are you taking care of electrolytes ? I had same symptoms for some time and fixed it with potassium intake. Seems that some of us who need lots of salt also have to be mindful of potassium not to throw out the balance between the two.
Apologies if I’m out of line with this comment.

Thank you fluffy, I will try that...it is a very good suggestion. I have also been experiencing a dryness in my tongue when I wake up sometimes and I have been drinking lots of water thinking I may be dehydrated, though I seem to be drinking plenty. I really appreciate the input.

 

[truepositive]

Water infused with 'proper intent' will be far better than any tap. Quality over quantity with everything, if possible.