Laura said:
Mosaic consciousness is not something that you "feel" necessarily, though when it happens (which is about all the time going on in my head), you DO get a feeling because thoughts/connections trigger emotional states. What happens is that you read something, or see something, or hear about something, and because of a wide knowledge base, everything "connects."
There is actually a scene in the movie "V for Vendetta" when the cop experiences a lite version of it and calls it a "feeling". It's not, it's a realization of connections. First he is gathering a whole lot of information and asks a question:
And then this. The significant part starts at about 1:40
I think everybody needs to watch those clips! What Inspector Finch describes is what I would describe as an epic "Aha moment", except that it's more visceral. It's not a feeling somewhere out there, a supernatural thing. It's right here, when we make connections, and suddenly a bunch of things that we learned but thought were not connected, suddenly form a puzzle. It may be a small puzzle at our level, but it is a connection that you cannot unsee.
One thing that blocks it very often, I think, is when we focus too much on one aspect to the detriment of others. E.g. We may think: "That's it, I've got the answer. This leader is evil. If he was gone, then everything would be better.", completely ignoring the Man behind the curtain, and how hypedimensional forces must be at play for the world situation to be what it is. Or "This program of mine comes from when X happened in my childhood. If I do Y to change it, then it will never control me again", ignoring 10 other factors that led to the program (including possible hard-wiring, past lives, AND our own past actions, our own responsibility for not having wanted to see and change, which made the program 10 times worse than it was, hurting others and ourselves in the process).
When all those things and more come together as we keep observing (both ourselves and the world at large), we get the "terror of the situation", of our condition and our conditioning. And it is then, when we ask the Flinch question: "Do you still want to know the truth???" If the answer is yes, from that truth comes the deep desire to do something, however small that action may seem. And to grow in knowledge, because we can never assume that now we've got the whole truth.
At least for me, that is an experience of the "mosaic", though I'm sure it's not as powerful as that which others have felt. Every time I've felt it (more so this year than in the past), it was because of a combination of observing reality and myself at the same time, taking into account other people's mirrors and observations (which came "flooding" all at once), all my actions, past and present, the world scene seen as a game of chess, and focusing my mind as much as possible... And I want to have more moments like that. I don't want to look back and regret that knowing what I know, I chose to succumb to influences, programs, the smaller parts of myself and lies all around. It DOES hurt to see many things. Regrets, the shock itself and the state of the world can feel paralizing and heart-breaking, and make you feel that there is no hope, that it's too late. But when you manage to pull yourself together and look at the bigger picture, it's also liberating, because it's a feeling that there are no limits to real knowledge and that we can stop being controlled by so many forces, both in believing lies about the world and about ourselves. It's learning that there is no free lunch, but that we do have some freedom in how we want to pay. We may never be completely "free", but as long as what we learn can be shared, and help someone else even a tiny bit, then what is there to lose? If that leads to an increased receivership capability as a group, then the possibilities are endless.
This is one of the reasons why I think the work done here on the forum, on SOTT, and for those for whom it's possible, within FOTCM communities/meetups, is crucial. They are marvelous tools for getting to know our machine, our reality, and developing will power to keep going in spite of fear, regrets, uncertainty and failures. It is "sharing the burden", and knowing that the Universe still must "love" us if we are still around, but that unless WE decide to do our best to be its conduits, ours lives can also be a "dream in the past". Up to us to choose. Some days, it is easier said than done. But again, the point is to train ourselves to be able to do it more and more often, and keep persisting, learning, etc. OSIT.