"The tonal is everything we are," he proceeded. "Name it! Anything we have a word for is the tonal. And since the tonal is its own doings, then everything, obviously, has to fall under its domain."
I reminded him that he had said that the tonal was the social person, a term which I myself had used with him to mean a human being as the end result of socialization processes. I pointed out that if the tonal was that product, it could not be everything, as he had said, because the world around us was not the product of socialization. Don Juan reminded me that my argument had no basis for him, and that, long before, he had already made the point that there was no world at large but only a description of the world which wehad learned to visualize and take for granted.
"The tonal is everything we know," he said. "I think this initself is enough reason for the tonal to be such an overpowering affair."
He paused for a moment. He seemed to be definitely waiting for comments or questions, but I had none. Yet I felt obligated to voice a question and struggled to formulate an appropriate one. I failed. I felt that the admonitions with which he had opened our conversation had perhaps served as a deterrent to any inquiry on my part. I felt strangely numb. I could not concentrateand order my thoughts. In fact I felt and knew, without the shadow ofa doubt, that I was incapable of thinking and yet I knew this without thinking, if that were at all possible. I looked at don Juan. He was staring at the middle part of my body. He lifted his eyes and my clarity of mind returned instantly.
"The tonal is everything we know," he repeated slowly. "And that includes not only us, as persons, but everything in our world. It can be said that thetonal is everything that meets the eye. "We begin to groom it at the moment of birth. The moment we take the first gasp of air we also breathe in power for the tonal. So, it is proper to say that thet onal of a human being is intimately tied to his birth.
"You must remember this point. It is of great importance in understandin gall this. The tonal begins at birth and ends at death." I wanted to recapitulate all the points that he had made. I went as far as opening my mouth to ask him to repeat the salient points of ourconversation, but to my amazement I could not vocalize my words. Iwas experiencing a most curious incapacity, my words were heavy and I had no control over that sensation. I looked at don Juan to signal him that I could not talk. He was again staring at the area around my stomach. He lifted his eyes and asked me how I felt. Words poured out of me as if I had been unplugged. I told him that I had been having the peculiar sensation of not being able to talk or think and yet mythoughts had been crystal clear.
"Your thoughts have been crystal clear?" he asked. I realized thenthat the clarity had not pertained to my thoughts, but to my perception of the world. "Are you doing something to me, don Juan?" I asked. "I am trying to convince you that your comments are not necessary," he said and laughed. "You meanyou don't want me to ask questions?" "No, no. Ask anything you want, but don't let your attention waver."
I had to admit that I had been distracted by the immensity of the topic. 70 "I still cannot understand, don Juan, what you mean by the statement that the tonal is everything,"
I said after a moment'spause. "The tonal is what makes the world." "Is thet onal the creator of the world?" Don Juan scratched his temples.
"The tonal makes the world only in a manner of speaking. Itcan not create or change anything, and yet it makes the world becauseits function is to judge, and assess, and witness. I say that the tonal makes the world because it witnesses and assesses it according to tonal rules. In a very strange manner the tonal is a creator that doesn't create a thing. In other words, the tonal makes up the rules by which it apprehends the world. So, in a manner of speaking, it creates the world."
He hummed a popular tune, beating the rhythm with his fingers on the side of his chair. His eyes were shining; they seemed to sparkle. He chuckled, shaking his head.
"You're not following me," he said, smiling. "I am. I have no problems," I said, but I did not sound very convincing. "The tonal is an island," he explained.
"The best way of describing it is to say that the tonal is this." Heran his hand over the table top. "We can say that the tonal is like the top of this table. An island. And on this island we have everything. This island is, in fact, the world.
"There is apersonal tonal for every one of us, and there is a collective one forall of us at any given time, which we can call the tonal of the times.
" He pointed to the rows of tables in the restaurant." Look! Every table has the same configuration. Certain items arepresent on all of them. They are, however, individually different from each other; some tables are more crowded than others; they have different food on them, different plates, different atmosphere, yet we have to admit that all the tables in this restaurant are very alike. The same thing happens with the tonal. We can say that the tonal of the times is what makes us alike, in the same way it make sall the tables in this restaurant alike. Each table separately, nevertheless, is an individual case, just like the personal tonal of each of us. But the important factor to keep in mind is that everything we know about ourselves and about our world is on the island of the tonal. See what I mean?"
"If the tonal is everything we know about ourselves and our world, what, then, is the nagual?" "The nagual is the part of us which we do not deal with at all." "I beg your pardon?" "The nagual is the part of us for which there is no description - no words, no names, no feelings, no knowledge." "That's a contradiction, don Juan. I n my opinion if it can't be felt or described or named, it cannot exist." "It's a contradiction only in your opinion. I warned you before, don't knock yourself out trying to understand this."
"Would you say that the nagual is the mind?"
"No. The mind is an item on the table. The mind is part ofthe tonal. Let's say that the mind is the chili sauce." He took a bottle of sauce and placed it in front of me.
"Is the nagual the soul?"
"No. The soul is also on the table. Let's say that the soul is the ashtray."
"Is it thethoughts of men?"
"No. Thoughts are also on the table. Thoughts are like the silverware." He picked up a forkand placed it next to the chili sauce and the ashtray.
"Isit a state of grace? Heaven?"
"Not that either. That, whatever it might be, is also part of the tonal. It is, let's say, the napkin." I went on giving possible ways of describing whathe was alluding to: pure intellect, psyche, energy, vital force, immortality, life principle. For each thing I named he found an itemon the table to serve as a counterpart and shoved it in front of me, until he had all the objects on the table stashed in one pile.
Don Juan seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. He giggled and rubbed his hands every time I named another possibility.
"Is the nagual the Supreme Being, the Almighty, God?" I asked.
"No. God is also on the table. Let's say that God is the tablecloth."He made a joking gesture of pulling the tablecloth in order to stack it up with the rest of the items he had put in front of me.
"But, are you saying that God does not exist?"
"No. I didn't say that. All I said was that the nagual was not God, because God is an item of our personal tonal and of the tonal of the times. The tonal is, as I've already said, everything we think the world is composed of, including God, of course. God has no more importance other than being a part of the tonal of our time."
"In my understanding, don Juan, God is everything. Aren't we talking about the same thing?"
"No. God is only everything you can think of, therefore, properly speaking, he is only another item on the island. God cannot be witnessed at will, he can only be talked about. The nagual, on the other hand, is at the service of the warrior. It can be witnessed, but it cannot be talked about."
"If the nagual is not any of the things I have mentioned,"I said, "perhaps you can tell me about its location. Where is it?"
Don Juan made a sweeping gesture and pointed to the area beyond the boundaries of the table. He swept his hand, as if with the back of it he were cleaning an imaginary surface that went beyond the edges of the table. "The nagual is there," hes aid. "There, surrounding the island. The nagual is there, where power hovers.