Location, location, location

[waverider 9]

Thank you everyone for all of the mindful insight from all of the previous posts.

I lived for 20 years in New York City, worked for a psychopath but made it very clear from the beginning that I wouldn't kowtow to his behavior - and oddly enough he backed down and let me pretty much do my own thing. The money was good but the economy started to take a nosedive in 2008 and something inside me screamed "get out of there". So I moved back to my adopted "hometown" in southern Wisconsin. I have not regretted it one bit. I no longer have a vehicle but I can walk everywhere and oddly enough the town which was founded by English and Norwegian settlers is still nearly 80% Nordic to this day. These people have been always stellar and very tight knit probably due to the fact that when they arrived in the early 1800's the Norwegian group stayed separate from the English group due to the fact that most had to wait a long time for their paperwork for residency was approved. Norwegian language was spoken widely until the mid 1970's when many of the older generation passed away.

The money is horrible and even with two jobs (Chef and Organist) I make 80% less than when in NYC. But. . .the bonus side is the wonderful people. I feel as if I am "treading water" most of the time but not in a negative or unproductive way. Plenty of time for reading, composing, and other endeavors without interruption. So all-in-all, it was a good decision and maybe I will eventually be able to create my own "niche business". I do not have a big support system with friends or family and even though I am a "fish-out-of-water" I do not feel "out-of-place" or isolated.

EE has helped a lot and diet too!

Thanks again everyone!

Jeffery

 

[sbeaudry]

If my FRV is such that I'm still meant to be in 3D, then so be it, there are lessons to be learned and if I'm not ready to graduate then that's the way it is. I had the thought that as I change dynamics within myself (e.g. diet and breathing, networking) maybe moving will not be necessary, & my external dynamics will change. And like a domino effect, one small change leads to another and so on, before you know it, you have actually changed your reality.

Yeah, I kind of agree with you here. It is all about Work on the self I think and if we are not ready to move on then that's ok. All there is is lessons. And, one cannot be prepared for anything and everything anyway. After all, the Earth could open up and decide it's hungry. I think when things start to get really dicey it will take a combination of preparedness and opportunity. Call it a bit of luck or "divine intervention." I'm thinking about pronoia here. Hopefully help will arrive when we most need it. Of course that's not an excuse to not think and plan but sometimes the universe has different plans so it's important to be open, Work on the self, and keep trying. OSIT

 

[Phill4]

I live close by Nyc, and i'm not confortable here, i must comfess, however, im having a hard time personaly on figuring out a way or place to go (my home country an option).

Jumping into leaving a place has many points to consider, ie. the attachments you have( job, family, a situation etc..)
But even so, i cant bring myself to leave my family behind and that is distresing, neither can i force them.
That is my main concern i would say.

But I would be down to travel, i went on a road trip from here down to jacksonville FL. Back in 2012, It takes about 23 hours, (one day) non-stop; 3 if you dont wanna destroy your back. , So it is posible to travel, and to move away. Thats is you have a car, about 400 in gas just in case.

Some of the threads on how to spend money, and the investments we should be making are directly related also prepardness, and traveling by car a long distance is a posibility to consider.

Thanks everyone for the very interesting discussion.

Change is not escaping, on the contrary. Sometimes staying in a place is escaping. ;)

Yes, I think this absolutely applies for many. For others, though, I feel there can be a sense of "escapism", especially if fear is the primary motivation. It really depends on the specific situation, so I'm glad there are so many thoughts from different perspectives on this thread.

loreta, I followed your story, and it's very encouraging. Interestingly, when we relocated last year, it was mainly because we were fed-up with the big city and we wanted to be in a more rural place. But it's not such a small village in the middle of nowhere where we ended up, but a "big village" (2500 inhabitants) not that far from major cities (in Germany, there are only very few truly rural areas left anyway). We love it here, since it is closer to nature, there are some great folks here, but you also have a degree of anonymity, it's not that everyone knows everyone and feels inclined to watch and judge you all day long, as seems to be the case in many smaller villages.

I think it's also a good exercise to always be open to change, including relocation, no matter where you are, and even if you are somewhat happy with your current living situation. You never know which opportunities will arise, and if you feel it's time to move, and you can do it, why not make it work?

Fwiw, and thanks again for all the input.

There is something interesting about it, When I started thinking about this moving issue around that same time (February). I saw the word "escape" a couple of times, in diferent contexts, escaping a place beacuse it's turning into a desert is not the same as escaping a place because of fear of something new, it is not the same aplication of the word,
When you know a place might turn in to a desert it is actually smart to leave, because you foresee something.
When you escape a place because you are afraid to fail, is a diferent thing. So I think the word escape touches both areas for personal evluation.

 

[loreta]

I will always regret my decision to come to live in Spain, from Canada. This is the worst decision I took in my life. I did not come to a good country. It was a bad move, took without intelligence. I think my diet of that time was very, very bad.

Why did I decide to come here? I acted like a chicken without his head, by impulsion. I felt that here things would be better: the weather, the people. I did not judge correctly the situation. I did not studied the country correctly, with intelligence, did not take information about jobs, about anything. As I say, my diet was bad, and I think this is a very important point. When you eat garbage your brain don't work correctly. And when you don't know yourself, also.

Some moves are terrible because after that it is too late to come back. So it is very important to know exactly where you go and why. 15 years I live here in Spain with my bad decision. We are poorer here than in Canada. Here we moved 4 times from city to city. I live in a sort of prison, trying to learn and grow but it is a very hard lesson.

I was so stupid not to validate my studies. In Canada I had some good possibilities to have better jobs than here. Here I just worked in bad jobs, for various reasons: my diplomas are not good here, and I have no contacts. In Spain you need contacts to find a job.

I came also because I acted like a little child, thinking I will finally have more contact with my family. Wrong. After 30 years of absence, you don't have anymore a family. Family don't care about you. The people here don't understand you because you are like an alien, from another planet. In fact I came from another planet.

This is just my experience of changing the location and moving elsewhere. Even if I regret my move I try to learn about it but as I said, it is a hard lesson to learn. Now I live in Las Palmas. It is a very gentle city, the weather is perfect but I know that in two or 3 years I will wanted to move again and leave Spain because this country is no good at all. The political situation is nauseous.

Moving is change. I think this is a good think, change. But a move has to be taken with thought.

I hope this is not noise from me!

 

[edgitarra]

I don't think it is noise at all. I like your writing style. And I am sorry for what you are encountering. Have you ever thought what would be the country that you would like to move to, and what factors you will takein consideration when wanting to move next time?

 

[loreta]

Thank you Edgitarra. I have no idea or yes but what I am sure is that I will take the decision very far away from my emotions. Were my emotions that made me take the idea to come here. Grave erreur as the French say. The brain is there for something, not just as decoration. :) So next time I will use my brain, I hope.

We are talking to return to Canada to do some arrangements and then maybe Costa Rica (I hear that it is a good country). Holland also attracted me. We will see. For now I have to find a job, I need money. Now that I moved to a better apartment (last Sunday) with a lot of light and space, things will go for the better. (I hope!).

 

[Arwenn]

Thank you Edgitarra. I have no idea or yes but what I am sure is that I will take the decision very far away from my emotions. Were my emotions that made me take the idea to come here. Grave erreur as the French say. The brain is there for something, not just as decoration. :) So next time I will use my brain, I hope.

We are talking to return to Canada to do some arrangements and then maybe Costa Rica (I hear that it is a good country). Holland also attracted me. We will see. For now I have to find a job, I need money. Now that I moved to a better apartment (last Sunday) with a lot of light and space, things will go for the better. (I hope!).

Hugs to you loreta- I hope that moving to the apartment will at least give you a better sanctuary from which wiser decisions can be made! There is definitely something to be said for Feng Shui- the dynamics of your living space which can either hinder you, or help you. And perhaps then you can review where you might wish to move to, and research it thoroughly, even throwing it to the forum for feedback? I am sure that members in countries that you are looking at moving to could chime in about the economic and political situation there.

 

[loreta]

Thank you Edgitarra. I have no idea or yes but what I am sure is that I will take the decision very far away from my emotions. Were my emotions that made me take the idea to come here. Grave erreur as the French say. The brain is there for something, not just as decoration. :) So next time I will use my brain, I hope.

We are talking to return to Canada to do some arrangements and then maybe Costa Rica (I hear that it is a good country). Holland also attracted me. We will see. For now I have to find a job, I need money. Now that I moved to a better apartment (last Sunday) with a lot of light and space, things will go for the better. (I hope!).

Hugs to you loreta- I hope that moving to the apartment will at least give you a better sanctuary from which wiser decisions can be made! There is definitely something to be said for Feng Shui- the dynamics of your living space which can either hinder you, or help you. And perhaps then you can review where you might wish to move to, and research it thoroughly, even throwing it to the forum for feedback? I am sure that members in countries that you are looking at moving to could chime in about the economic and political situation there.

Thank you. I think you are right. The space where we live is very important. Help from others also, even if for me it is very hard to ask for help.

Also, I always thought that I was possessed by a strange possession, the possession of always moving, coming from my father. And also from the fathers of my father, that also moved from the south of Spain to the north. But in fact when you start to think about it you have to stop this sort of loop. I mean, you have to take responsibility of your actions and stop to do what your fathers did. That's why the lessons are so hard. I think also that this looking for a location is also looking for your tribe, something vital for some people. People like us that feel strangers almost anywhere. Just in this forum I have found people that have good brains and good hearts and give and received and offer help and open doors and windows to give us the possibility to grow.

In fact looking for a location is first of all looking for a location inside us.

 

[Pierre]

In fact looking for a location is first of all looking for a location inside us.

That very true. Sometimes we keep moving to maintain the illusion that our problems and unease come from outside (intolerant people, mean neighbors, nasty colleagues,...)

Although the environment does have an influence on our psychological and emotional state, most of our issue come from inside.

 

[edgitarra]

In fact looking for a location is first of all looking for a location inside us.

That very true. Sometimes we keep moving to maintain the illusion that our problems and unease come from outside (intolerant people, mean neighbors, nasty colleagues,...)

Although the environment does have an influence on our psychological and emotional state, most of our issue come from inside.

I like the "homecoming" idea. And when we find the location within we realize it is in fact "everywhere". It is all that has been searched for so much time.

 

[loreta]

But it is important to look and live in a good space. To feel at home where you live. First, where you wake up everyday. I say this because where I was living was not good at all: my neighbor was a crazy woman, a little psychopath. I was doing a lot of exercises of patience but to no avail. The more patient I was the more mad she was. I think your house, where you live, is the first start to look for a location, inside and outside. Your house has to be like a good mother, embrace yourself and give you energy and love. There are houses like mothers, others are like monsters. The house where I was living was a monster. I even think that there was a bad spirit in it, the spirit of the mother of the mad woman that died 2 years ago and that was a very bad woman, too. Even the pipes of the apartment did not worked well and a smell of death was present, specially lately. The last day, when I clean the apartment and close the door, after thank the house for the 6 months of permitting to live there, I hear a strange sound, like a breath. A very strange sound, like the sound of something energetic. But I did not open the door to see what it was. It was time to fly, like a mosquito. I was very lucky to find this apartment that will give me energy and the chance to continue to grow, inside. And think about a new location, maybe. ;)

 

[Arwenn]

Also, I always thought that I was possessed by a strange possession, the possession of always moving, coming from my father. And also from the fathers of my father, that also moved from the south of Spain to the north. But in fact when you start to think about it you have to stop this sort of loop. I mean, you have to take responsibility of your actions and stop to do what your fathers did. That's why the lessons are so hard. I think also that this looking for a location is also looking for your tribe, something vital for some people. People like us that feel strangers almost anywhere. Just in this forum I have found people that have good brains and good hearts and give and received and offer help and open doors and windows to give us the possibility to grow.

In fact looking for a location is first of all looking for a location inside us.

What you wrote above loreta is so profound for me. I too don't feel at home anywhere, I have lived in many places in different countries, and I always feel like a stranger. Like I don't belong. I have a session with P&H and it is something I want to work on with him. And you are right, perhaps instead of looking without, we need to look for that location (and the belonging and acceptance that comes with it) within us.

But it is important to look and live in a good space. To feel at home where you live. First, where you wake up everyday. <snip> Your house has to be like a good mother, embrace yourself and give you energy and love. There are houses like mothers, others are like monsters. <snip>

Once again, I am in total agreement with you here. I have written about my community here and how I feel I don't fit in, but I dearly love the house I'm in. It does nurture me, it is my sanctuary, my respite from the harsh world. Prior to moving here, I lived in some horrid places that were dark, damp and totally unsupportive of nurturing my energy.

 

[loreta]

Arwenn, thank you for your words. Sometimes I feel so isolated in that situation, sometimes I feel it is just me that don't fit in this planet, this city, this world. And this is not true.

Some years ago I saw a documentary about Spanish people, like me, that came back here after 30, 40 years and how strangers they felt in this country, how lonely they felt, how alien they felt. There is so many ways to look for a location, for roots where to stay and say: here I am till the end. Maybe it is not important. I don't know. Or maybe it is the most important thing. We came back because we thought that here was our house to put our roots. But the C's say that what is important is not where you are but who you are. But who you are is also where you are in that moment, in this situation. (Or so I think is what they say).

When I feel lost I remember all the people that are looking for a better place to live, immigrants from Africa, from South America, from Asia... How difficult it is for them, and I put my situation in perspective. How Palestinians are living in a inferno, so my situation is a paradise compare to theirs. Boat people, that every day fly from their country looking for a new location, etc. In a sense we are learning lessons not just from us but from the others, these silent victims of these horrible situations due to sick people that are psychopaths.

 

[supriyanoel]

It has been an arduous road, living and trying to sell my home on NYC, but I DID it. The closing is tomorrow, and although the price was below what I had thought to be optimum, whatwas important is that I find my niche and leave. It took a long time but the niche, and the people found me. Dreading going to Florida which was a plan I had never liked for many reasons. If you read Joel Skoulsens book called Strategic Relocation, he will enlighten one to many of these reasons. Alas the winds of changed came and changed my direction to the opposite pole, New Hamshire, the Live free or die state. I am not only alone anymore, but have others of like mind who are supportive in so many ways. This all came quickly and I welcomed it gratefully.

The way the dollar is changing and the real threat of the banks, plastic and ATM being ruptured and rendered obsolete has made me wonder about buying a house and some acres quicker than I had planned. Like in the next month. In this short period I have visited, met farmers and other people like builders and mechanics, people I never thought I would have this immediate access to. I am quite shocked and overwhelmed with gratitude and love for these events taking place the way they did. I had very little to do with making it happen by way of trying, but I researched my butt off and it literally came to me, knocked on my door and set the wheels in motion. All I had to do was not resist. I had spent the last few years letting go of so much attachment, and I was ready and open. Nothing happened until that work was resolved, understood and accepted. The key seemed to be really willing to be open and willing to not compromise my being. Many temptations, burnt offerings, and I didn't bite, was resigned and happy to of gotten to the location inside. Then the outside changed. Sometimes I didn't think Could go on, but I didn't give it a lot of attention and kept at the work no matter how bleak and scary. I pulled through and kept on keeping on, the hardest days, months and years of my life. And then "live free or die", the motto of New Hampshire enters my life fast and efficiently, like literal troops coming to assist.

Don't give up. Dig and research and ask til it hurts and keep going. I am moving to the place Joel Skoulsen suggested as being the sanest, and I believe it is probably best to invest in a good safe car or truck, tires, heating system of coal and pellet stoves, propane, tanks, food, generators, water purifying system, jars, freeze dried food, weapons for food if necessary. This is woods with towns nearby, but a very different place with much to learn. I heard much about keeping money invested in needful things, rather than banks or any other investments. Maybe metals if you can still get much, silver preferably since its not for luxury. And tobacco along with other plants to eat.

So that's it. I'm off in 2 weeks and I hope there are others that come up this way. You can certainly look me up if in the area, and possibly EE classes can be arranged here. I know they can, and will offer my services in any way to forum members that I'm able to. This is my heart this forum and all of you, whether I've posted lately or not. That is something I've been lax on posting, and there really isn't any excuse. I'm the only one who pays for it. I do listen and you help me more than I have words for. I may of had a motor, but you all activated it by reminding me who and what and where I am, was and will be. Here now. Thank you, and I too hope I wasn't noisy.

 

[shellycheval]

Congratulations on selling your home. Your situation has had many parallels to my own, especially letting go of attachments and being willing to change.

The key seemed to be really willing to be open and willing to not compromise my being. Many temptations, burnt offerings, and I didn't bite, was resigned and happy to of gotten to the location inside. Then the outside changed.

I hear this--that the inside changes first based on our own work and willingness, then the universe steps up and "fills the vacuum" with the outside changes.

Sorry to interject any less than optimal encouragement but I feel some concerns about placing too much trust and actually buying property based on one limited source.
NH is clearly in line for the oncoming extreme cold and deprivation that will accompany such brutal climate change--if not outright Ice Age. I am concerned that one stranger's opinion may have too much influence on your choice of relocation.

What about the recommendations of the Forum members, Laura, and the Cs, that we relocate to places South? Just my thoughts.
shellycheval