Location, location, location
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supriyanoel
Jedi
The middle of Fla.is dubious, as some places seem like the fabled Stepford, as in "The Stepford wives", a Plasticine town of replicants that are programmed robots in the land of milk and honey. Some are poverty stricken, some very average lower to middle class. it's a strange place because of such diversity in haphazard arrangements. Anything near water is expensive, but over the top the father south you go. You can try to live farther away from major cities and work in them, being prepared for traffic. If you want animals and yardspace or the space to growfood, I would want to know what I was dealing with in terms of growth potential,proper climate for foods to grow etc.and ares of predators of which are many. The Python population is horrific, as well as the two-legged kind. Many come to Florida to hide. There is a dearth of child molestors to rival almost any other state. Go to Watchdog to find this sort of info. But everyone who goes likes the weather and the ocean right?
Meager1 said:
Why Spain? It is a terrible country economically speaking. If you have money, maybe. But for the average people, this country is one of the worst, I think, in Europe.
If I had money...
I proposed to my husband to go to Senegal. I would like to live in a third world country, and Senegal is a country that is my heart; with the pay of my husband we surely can live ok, plus live with people that I like and work in something I love, like helping in anything that they are in need. But my husband say NO. :( So for now is Canarias, that is near to Senegal... ;)
Meager1
Dagobah Resident
Funny you said that, I noticed and commented on the same thing when I was living in Florida.
Only difference being, I made reference to clones, since what I saw was people who looked remarkably like other people from other areas, states etc, but who at the same time appeared to be lethargic or lacking any kind of enthusiasm, they seemed to reluctantly drag themselves around because they had to.
But wow, were they ever dead ringers for other folks I actually knew!
paralleloscope
The Living Force
Loreta just a heads up if you weren't aware, Canaries are a hotspot for quake and volcanic activity plus it's pretty exposed to floodwave impact.
supriyanoel
Jedi
From reading a lot of you re posts, I'd be much happier facing possible mass extinction and comets being around you folks. If enough people who put their dogs and books as their priority came together, it would be nearly edenic, if only for a while.
I am doing as much as I can, I think to move myself from NY. I was very exited to have a buyer on my house, but lo and behold, it didn't pan out. It's interesting to see how my mind in now changed as far as Spain, Scotland, Florida go. Now they seem not so good. North Carolina is still on the list and I added Colorado. Canada has always felt O.K, but as far as just deciding to live in a country, I dont think you can that easily. Especially Canada. I have friends there and must find out exactly how that could be arranged. It sounds like one of my saner ideas, if I can get entrance.
I have been reacquainting myself with close friends from the past that I haven't been in touch with for many years. I 'm finding where each one is and reconnecting, as if I'm leaving, or dying even. Don't feel frantic about it. It feels as though I'm just following an agenda I already had planned. The only 3 that are on similar wavelength's are in the Rockies, Santa Barbara Ca., and Washington State near the Puget Sound. The latter sounds a bit scary. The C's might have mentioned it, but if not, I feel its going to be compromised. to put it mildly.
My cousin asked me if I wanted to "go in" on a condo in South New Jersey. I don't want to disappoint him, although I'd rather eat glass. Or get pulverized by comets. He doesn't know where I get this 'crazy stuff".When it is advertised that a condo is 40k, beware of wishful free lunches. You will be further lunch when you add up the HomeOwners Association fee, the jersey taxes,( which are laughable), and whatever other community fee or club nonsense that is snuck on you after you are seduced by pools, tennis courts, and all the rest off the hideous Plasticine crapola that passes for the Good Life. So external consideration is practiced with a big clear NO WAY attached.
If anyone knows anthing they might want to clue me in to as far as Colorado, (Evergreen, Estes Park) please tell me. Or Utah. I'm open and will listen seriously to everything. Your time just reading this, is very appreciated. I realize its not the most important issue, however it will probably come up. I'd rather move right away after selling, rather than staying where I am, renting an apartment while I search the globe. That can be wasteful and unnecessary.
I am doing as much as I can, I think to move myself from NY. I was very exited to have a buyer on my house, but lo and behold, it didn't pan out. It's interesting to see how my mind in now changed as far as Spain, Scotland, Florida go. Now they seem not so good. North Carolina is still on the list and I added Colorado. Canada has always felt O.K, but as far as just deciding to live in a country, I dont think you can that easily. Especially Canada. I have friends there and must find out exactly how that could be arranged. It sounds like one of my saner ideas, if I can get entrance.
I have been reacquainting myself with close friends from the past that I haven't been in touch with for many years. I 'm finding where each one is and reconnecting, as if I'm leaving, or dying even. Don't feel frantic about it. It feels as though I'm just following an agenda I already had planned. The only 3 that are on similar wavelength's are in the Rockies, Santa Barbara Ca., and Washington State near the Puget Sound. The latter sounds a bit scary. The C's might have mentioned it, but if not, I feel its going to be compromised. to put it mildly.
My cousin asked me if I wanted to "go in" on a condo in South New Jersey. I don't want to disappoint him, although I'd rather eat glass. Or get pulverized by comets. He doesn't know where I get this 'crazy stuff".When it is advertised that a condo is 40k, beware of wishful free lunches. You will be further lunch when you add up the HomeOwners Association fee, the jersey taxes,( which are laughable), and whatever other community fee or club nonsense that is snuck on you after you are seduced by pools, tennis courts, and all the rest off the hideous Plasticine crapola that passes for the Good Life. So external consideration is practiced with a big clear NO WAY attached.
If anyone knows anthing they might want to clue me in to as far as Colorado, (Evergreen, Estes Park) please tell me. Or Utah. I'm open and will listen seriously to everything. Your time just reading this, is very appreciated. I realize its not the most important issue, however it will probably come up. I'd rather move right away after selling, rather than staying where I am, renting an apartment while I search the globe. That can be wasteful and unnecessary.
mcb
The Living Force
supriyanoel said:
Yes, there is a downside to facing extinction alone, in the 'local' sense (I'll pass on the edenic part). I am not the greatest at changing behaviors (Asperger's), and it would help to have healthy patterns to see and replicate. On the other hand, my learning seems to come mostly from fighting my way against the current, accompanied by pathological relationships.
Perhaps it would be good if we could establish communities where people could come for a while and learn. Trying to live in isolation from what is happening around us would not sound like a good idea to me, but it is very unhealthy living in a city and if you are unhealthy enough, I believe that it can significantly limit your ability to learn. If, for whatever reason, you are unable to move elsewhere, what do you do?
You're certainly openminded, to some extent, but your candidates are very different. What are your reasons for considering some countries or regions, but not others? Do you have certain criteria, or do you consider places where you have visited, have friends or that seem safe and nice to you? I'm not criticising your choices so much as asking why you chose them, to suggest that you think about your selection process. I'd think that why a person chooses to move elsewhere is as important as where they decide to go.supriyanoel said:
I don't blame you. More than 30 years ago I had to attend a class near Princeton. It was summer and so hot that I had to buy a bottle of tequila just to get to sleep at night in some crummy motel next to a freeway. The class was only a week long, but it felt like a month.supriyanoel said:
It can be, but that might not be your only alternative. Only you know your requirements, of course, but perhaps you could rent a room in a house for a while. You might compare some scenarios with a spreadsheet. Moving somewhere else and then finding out that it's not for you might be more expensive.supriyanoel said:
Every country, region, state and place has its own attractions and drawbacks, its pros and cons and tradeoffs. Just as examples: New England might have small towns somewhat away from big cities but it's probably going to get pretty cold there for the next 30 years or so if some climatologists are right, and the same might be the case in the Rockies; the Southwest is warmer, but it's short of water and the population is concentrated in big cities dependent upon reliable transportation to remain viable; parts of the southeast have low population densities, but they are downwind of many nuclear plants.
You are fortunate if you can choose where you want to live, decide to move there and make a living. Many people don't have that freedom, due to lack of resources or employment opportunities, family commitments, poor health or other constraints. I hope you'll choose wisely and that it works out well.
parallel said:
I know, I know... We will take a risk. Between Canada and Canaries we choose Canaries because Canada it is too cold. And the political, social situation is so near of that of USA. Canaries is not better, I know. We still are in Spain. But what can I do? I can not stay here, there is no job and here I feel really, really surrounded by people so ignorant and old and insipid that is like buried myself in cement. I think that in Canaries I have more chances to find a job than here where there is NOTHING. I live in the poorest region of Spain and also the biggest. In Canaries I have a friend. I have two friends in other parts of Spain but they will not help me. I think that one problem we face, when moving, is the help of friends or not. Friends, I am aware more and more, are extremely important. And the help of them when necessary, also. I have just two good friends and they will not help me and I accept that. ONe of them, by the way, will lend me some money to move, that is extraordinary. This friend in the Canaries can do some helping, so I have the impression that I have no other choice or go to Canada. But as I said, Canada is a very cold country, in many senses of the word. Was a good country but not anymore, as I can see... :(
It is complicated. But when change is necessary it is important to move. And I think change is necessary now. Maybe I am wrong but the worst thing to do, I think, is be in a place that nothing is possible. And now I live in a village of 15 old people (we were 20 but not anymore) and I can not continue to live here.
Thanks to remind me about earthquakes and flooding. Strangely, I am not afraid of them.
shellycheval
The Living Force
Loreta
steps required to move out of your country? And perhaps putting yourself in harms way of a different sort?
Is there truly no where else in all of Spain that would be acceptable and offer some change for the better, without having to take the drastic
steps required to move out of your country? And perhaps putting yourself in harms way of a different sort?
shellycheval said:
I don't understand your last sentence: in harms way of a different sort?
Where can I go? Without contacts? The only place I found with a contact is the Canaries, and Canaries is in Spain but ouside. My problem is the absence of contacts that can help me to find an apartment, for example.
I tried three places in Spain: Barcelona, Extremadura and I am living in Castilla Y León. All three places have been very difficult, in part for the absence of contacts. Spain is not my country so when I returned here I was and still are very lost: no friends, no family and nobody to count for help. So now I have a contact in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. The weather is excellent an I think I have more possibilities to find a job. I don't think I am a dreamer, I try to find a solution of this situation that is a dead end. I can go to Canaries with my dogs and my car. Apartments are not so expensive over there, and other items are less expensive than in Spain. It is a big move I know... But I don't have furniture. Just ourselves and then later we will bring our books. That's all.
Moving in a city in Spain or in a city out of Spain like the Canaries is, under my point of vue, the same thing. It is a move and a move is always very complicated.
Thanks. :)
supriyanoel
Jedi
I am constantly amazed at how much there is to consider and how those considerations change.
I will project a moment when I say that given a relatively healthy live and Karmic factors included possibly, I will probably have 35 yrs at the most to live. That's pushing it. If by some chance a place is found where there is an interactive community that honors and nourishes its elderly, I'm in luck. There have to be communities like this. The only one I've come close to finding was an Ashram in Virginia, that did actually honor its old. And you didn't have to be a swami or a devotee of any religion. They honored all. All sorts of very interesting people from all over the world came there. The people in the village that were attendees to the Saturday night satsang or get together were not yogis, but helpers in one way or another of the community. They were not cliquish or seductive in getting you to join anything. I had been to other places that were clearly cultish feeling. Even if there were aspects of any of this I was able to keep my autonomy. I felt very at home and useful. So this area in Virginia near Charlotteville is a consideration.
I consider the Colorado area near Denver because of knowing someone who is living there now. I also know someone in Evergreen that would endorse my business by getting the word out to his friends, which are many there. Its the mountains where there are possible water sources, albeit cold. The cold used to bother me, and doesn't anymore. I do a lot of Yoga, and its changed me since then. No more back problems,arthritis in check, shoulder pain, carpal tunnel gone. In this way I am somehow knowledgeable, God knows why. I tell you it is the one area that my ego doesn't get control of in the usual way. Must be Karmic, since physical movement along these lines was never my forte. A different being practices and teaches this and "i" shut up. LOL. So cold is O.K.
The Puget sound is just a place I emotionally like, but instinct tells me its going to be problematic. I was interested in a place higher up near Canad where I have an artist friend. I had visions of Island hopping with Yoga-to-go.
Inland seems the best, since these hurricanes and climate changes are wreaking havoc. Originally Florida-wasthere because of 2 friends. One is a Christian-turned fundamentalist, the other is someone I need to move on from, so that idea, along with sinkholes, hurricanes etc. and the boiling heat has changed my mind. Others tell me I would do very well in business, and it makes me reconside what very well means to me now. I'm not the yoga teacher for everyone. People looking to get their ego stroked with visions of love, light and sugarplums aren't gonna like me. I'm strict, effective, meaning no one ever gets hurt, and actually changes to some degree in a way that releases the physical pain. The problem I see is that the mental resists change. Therefore Think they are doomed to repeat. I seriously am considering other ways to make a living. Or expanding in a way I feel is beneficial.
All the elements of who I am may have to expand to areas that are different. I can work in the cooking field and the dog-grooming field also. These are other interests. I can teach Art. So there are options and places where these practices will do well. Or be a farmer. I have options, and yes I am free in ways that many aren't. I had wished I could go to France and be a gardener or body-worker for the people at the Chateau in France. But they don't know me personally, and why would I even think they wanted someone who didn't naturally connect in a more personal way. If I were meant to know them or really had anything they needed it would of presented itself in some way. Although funding would maybe help them. Give someone like me a room for a price and carefully screen them. But these are the things I thought of once upon a time .lol. I am more realistic now I think! They have all they need and then some OSIT.
I can be of use to others , its just figuring out where. If someone presented me with a place where other members or places that needed community were I'd consider it. I want to be able to make my place wherever I go and be of real use. I am alone, but I am a social creature that separates the personal from the work. It would be beneficial to have some like minds around. Where folks are interested in organic farming and working towards more evolved methods of living is where I think I will be. These are like minds that are actually working in these fields. I don't need evolved talk without action. These are the places I looking at. At this point I'm not looking for longevity, just quality and people that are working towards the changes we all talk about. I will find it. No wonder this house is taking so long to sell.
I will also not "buy" anything till I stay a while in a rental. With my 2 dogs and 2 birds. The spreadsheet is a good idea, one I'll be astonished at implementing! Wherever I am I will continue being all I choose to be on a moment to moment basis. Now I will choose to thank you all so very much for your time and clear thinking that translates in a life-affirming way. You are caring people to respond and consider others.
I will project a moment when I say that given a relatively healthy live and Karmic factors included possibly, I will probably have 35 yrs at the most to live. That's pushing it. If by some chance a place is found where there is an interactive community that honors and nourishes its elderly, I'm in luck. There have to be communities like this. The only one I've come close to finding was an Ashram in Virginia, that did actually honor its old. And you didn't have to be a swami or a devotee of any religion. They honored all. All sorts of very interesting people from all over the world came there. The people in the village that were attendees to the Saturday night satsang or get together were not yogis, but helpers in one way or another of the community. They were not cliquish or seductive in getting you to join anything. I had been to other places that were clearly cultish feeling. Even if there were aspects of any of this I was able to keep my autonomy. I felt very at home and useful. So this area in Virginia near Charlotteville is a consideration.
I consider the Colorado area near Denver because of knowing someone who is living there now. I also know someone in Evergreen that would endorse my business by getting the word out to his friends, which are many there. Its the mountains where there are possible water sources, albeit cold. The cold used to bother me, and doesn't anymore. I do a lot of Yoga, and its changed me since then. No more back problems,arthritis in check, shoulder pain, carpal tunnel gone. In this way I am somehow knowledgeable, God knows why. I tell you it is the one area that my ego doesn't get control of in the usual way. Must be Karmic, since physical movement along these lines was never my forte. A different being practices and teaches this and "i" shut up. LOL. So cold is O.K.
The Puget sound is just a place I emotionally like, but instinct tells me its going to be problematic. I was interested in a place higher up near Canad where I have an artist friend. I had visions of Island hopping with Yoga-to-go.
Inland seems the best, since these hurricanes and climate changes are wreaking havoc. Originally Florida-wasthere because of 2 friends. One is a Christian-turned fundamentalist, the other is someone I need to move on from, so that idea, along with sinkholes, hurricanes etc. and the boiling heat has changed my mind. Others tell me I would do very well in business, and it makes me reconside what very well means to me now. I'm not the yoga teacher for everyone. People looking to get their ego stroked with visions of love, light and sugarplums aren't gonna like me. I'm strict, effective, meaning no one ever gets hurt, and actually changes to some degree in a way that releases the physical pain. The problem I see is that the mental resists change. Therefore Think they are doomed to repeat. I seriously am considering other ways to make a living. Or expanding in a way I feel is beneficial.
All the elements of who I am may have to expand to areas that are different. I can work in the cooking field and the dog-grooming field also. These are other interests. I can teach Art. So there are options and places where these practices will do well. Or be a farmer. I have options, and yes I am free in ways that many aren't. I had wished I could go to France and be a gardener or body-worker for the people at the Chateau in France. But they don't know me personally, and why would I even think they wanted someone who didn't naturally connect in a more personal way. If I were meant to know them or really had anything they needed it would of presented itself in some way. Although funding would maybe help them. Give someone like me a room for a price and carefully screen them. But these are the things I thought of once upon a time .lol. I am more realistic now I think! They have all they need and then some OSIT.
I can be of use to others , its just figuring out where. If someone presented me with a place where other members or places that needed community were I'd consider it. I want to be able to make my place wherever I go and be of real use. I am alone, but I am a social creature that separates the personal from the work. It would be beneficial to have some like minds around. Where folks are interested in organic farming and working towards more evolved methods of living is where I think I will be. These are like minds that are actually working in these fields. I don't need evolved talk without action. These are the places I looking at. At this point I'm not looking for longevity, just quality and people that are working towards the changes we all talk about. I will find it. No wonder this house is taking so long to sell.
I will also not "buy" anything till I stay a while in a rental. With my 2 dogs and 2 birds. The spreadsheet is a good idea, one I'll be astonished at implementing! Wherever I am I will continue being all I choose to be on a moment to moment basis. Now I will choose to thank you all so very much for your time and clear thinking that translates in a life-affirming way. You are caring people to respond and consider others.
supriyanoel
Jedi
After meditation today, I've been feeling like leaving right now. Yesterday. It seems , even though its been said, that its going to change very quickly. Like a month or 2. I'm not freaked out. I instinctively feel the time is right. I had a feeling for many years now that I would come very close to the brink of big disaster, very close to cataclysmic events, and leave right before. It has also felt that it wasn't written in stone and I could very well miss that window. I don't think I will though. It will come close, and the decisions I make now will either be guided by soul or emotions. Or emotions coming from soul guidance. Well see. I hope we'll all be here. Of coarse i could be way off base.
When I feel something like this, I think instinct tells me where to be. I am focused somewhat, and I've just privately put the house up for sale at a lower price. I just feel a lot more water this way a'comin. The East Coast of the U.S Well duh, but you're ready when you re ready. NOW I'm ready and its not too late, it can't be. Not if I'm THIS ready. It takes a huge sense of turmoil for me to change something I'm this rooted in, and alone. Well, by myself.
My friends from Canada called today and asked me to stay with them next month knowing nothing of any oncoming catastrophe. Why should they? They're Canadians! I jest, but maybe not. I feel absolutely fine about Canada, not really all that sure why. They also do not know of my Canadian motives, as they are focused on having me attend the Jazz festival, bless their wonderfully huge hearts.
It just may be that I make no real decisions, but only how I respond to soul promptings that pave the way of destiny. Repeating the same lessons till I learn or moving on to others. They are all happening simultaneously no? Sorry about the length. Thank you for listening as always.
When I feel something like this, I think instinct tells me where to be. I am focused somewhat, and I've just privately put the house up for sale at a lower price. I just feel a lot more water this way a'comin. The East Coast of the U.S Well duh, but you're ready when you re ready. NOW I'm ready and its not too late, it can't be. Not if I'm THIS ready. It takes a huge sense of turmoil for me to change something I'm this rooted in, and alone. Well, by myself.
My friends from Canada called today and asked me to stay with them next month knowing nothing of any oncoming catastrophe. Why should they? They're Canadians! I jest, but maybe not. I feel absolutely fine about Canada, not really all that sure why. They also do not know of my Canadian motives, as they are focused on having me attend the Jazz festival, bless their wonderfully huge hearts.
It just may be that I make no real decisions, but only how I respond to soul promptings that pave the way of destiny. Repeating the same lessons till I learn or moving on to others. They are all happening simultaneously no? Sorry about the length. Thank you for listening as always.
Forrestdeva
Padawan Learner
I moved to the forest in East Texas and have found the peace and quiet that I so needed. Recently as many of you know from other post I've made there was a comet fragment or man made explosion of some sort out here and it really has made me think about the area I've selected since it is in oil country.
This past Summer there have been numerous earthquakes all under 3.0 and that too is something I've not considered prior to moving here. With the methane gas underground I often wondered and worry about gas leaks. There is so much to consider when seeking a safe place.
Having an adequate area for gardening and growing healthy food is important to me, yet this Spring has been a cold one and I've lost several plants in the garden so far. If it's true that we are heading for an ice age then my plans for survival regarding the garden are futile.
No plans on relocation thus far for me. Seems where ever one selects to live there will be pro's and con's.
This past Summer there have been numerous earthquakes all under 3.0 and that too is something I've not considered prior to moving here. With the methane gas underground I often wondered and worry about gas leaks. There is so much to consider when seeking a safe place.
Having an adequate area for gardening and growing healthy food is important to me, yet this Spring has been a cold one and I've lost several plants in the garden so far. If it's true that we are heading for an ice age then my plans for survival regarding the garden are futile.
No plans on relocation thus far for me. Seems where ever one selects to live there will be pro's and con's.
supriyanoel
Jedi
As I continue to comtemplate when I have the time, the location I really seek is one with less embracering of fascism. I am encountering people in positions of authority puffing up and embracing their authority to wield powere over women, (ME) in ways that are getting scarier and scarier.
It is affecting me in the workplace, as I was treated like a possible threat to the area where I work, when asked to be let in to my own classroom. They always open with a key, these guards. In a place that you've worked for 15 yrs., I was not pleased to be treated by security guards that were unfriendly and uncooperative. They didn't know me and called all sorts of waddling elderly Sargeants over to handle me and my students, who just wanted to go to class and distress. Funny isn't it? Only I behaved badly, dropping my external consideration and professional mask, and let out with some freestyle comments. That didn't go over well and now these 3 big lummoxes have filed complaints against me.
Now I will go in apologize profusely and admit to my faulty attitude, even though they were supposed to have my door opened, its not worth me trying to be right about anything. I see the writing on the wall. Objectively looking at it I tell myself " look at what they see, and now just be quiet because you can see where they are at and you would do the same in their place", they want to win something, let them.
The students come first, they need their class and want it, otherwise I'd probably leave. I don't care for the lax atmosphere and terror tactics that I've seen displayed on other occasions .Big boys playing cops and robbers is when people get hurt, that being the smaller picture. They are pawns too, and maybe have hearts, and are just programmed like most. It makes me uncomfortable to be there on this weird and lonely campus. So it is a job. Hopefully I am leaving soon.
Today I also thought about quitting half my jobs, letting my car and insurance go, downsizing hugely, and scarily. Taking the bus places, really scary I don't want the insanity of being in close proximity of more psychopaths. There are some places I work that are saner. So location has to start with changing my inner locator so even these locations within the place I'd rather not be, are more sane and fruitful. Cause my fruit is going to rot otherwise.
I must say with all these little horrors in the shop, I am feeling psychically stronger and looking younger by the estimation of others. It may be a fanciful ruse or some sort of denial, maybe not. Another thing about location is focus on the inner, finding the voice of hope, freedom from oppression within and speaking my heart more. Speaking my mind can be a problem. It's the presentation that seems to matter. No one listens when I speak serious, they get scared. When I add humor and activate my wild side, it calms them before the storm of what they don't necessarily want to hear. The change is about me if I want to effect any change that I remain healthy in. And my location may find me. The other way doesn't work. Maybe I need to entertain entertaining more. I'm so hardheaded and just dumb sometimes, without ever knowing it. I count on you to tell me if I'm full of it. Or at least present my ignorance because I definitely may not see. Thank the Universe for EE and you guys. I also want to entertain of a cigarette going in the location of my mouth. Haven't in years. But jeez, this is a little hard, even for me who considers herself kind of strong in some ways.
Maybe I need to be loading up on American Spirits, instead of car payments, comets be damned! I know I digress, sorry!
It is affecting me in the workplace, as I was treated like a possible threat to the area where I work, when asked to be let in to my own classroom. They always open with a key, these guards. In a place that you've worked for 15 yrs., I was not pleased to be treated by security guards that were unfriendly and uncooperative. They didn't know me and called all sorts of waddling elderly Sargeants over to handle me and my students, who just wanted to go to class and distress. Funny isn't it? Only I behaved badly, dropping my external consideration and professional mask, and let out with some freestyle comments. That didn't go over well and now these 3 big lummoxes have filed complaints against me.
Now I will go in apologize profusely and admit to my faulty attitude, even though they were supposed to have my door opened, its not worth me trying to be right about anything. I see the writing on the wall. Objectively looking at it I tell myself " look at what they see, and now just be quiet because you can see where they are at and you would do the same in their place", they want to win something, let them.
The students come first, they need their class and want it, otherwise I'd probably leave. I don't care for the lax atmosphere and terror tactics that I've seen displayed on other occasions .Big boys playing cops and robbers is when people get hurt, that being the smaller picture. They are pawns too, and maybe have hearts, and are just programmed like most. It makes me uncomfortable to be there on this weird and lonely campus. So it is a job. Hopefully I am leaving soon.
Today I also thought about quitting half my jobs, letting my car and insurance go, downsizing hugely, and scarily. Taking the bus places, really scary I don't want the insanity of being in close proximity of more psychopaths. There are some places I work that are saner. So location has to start with changing my inner locator so even these locations within the place I'd rather not be, are more sane and fruitful. Cause my fruit is going to rot otherwise.
I must say with all these little horrors in the shop, I am feeling psychically stronger and looking younger by the estimation of others. It may be a fanciful ruse or some sort of denial, maybe not. Another thing about location is focus on the inner, finding the voice of hope, freedom from oppression within and speaking my heart more. Speaking my mind can be a problem. It's the presentation that seems to matter. No one listens when I speak serious, they get scared. When I add humor and activate my wild side, it calms them before the storm of what they don't necessarily want to hear. The change is about me if I want to effect any change that I remain healthy in. And my location may find me. The other way doesn't work. Maybe I need to entertain entertaining more. I'm so hardheaded and just dumb sometimes, without ever knowing it. I count on you to tell me if I'm full of it. Or at least present my ignorance because I definitely may not see. Thank the Universe for EE and you guys. I also want to entertain of a cigarette going in the location of my mouth. Haven't in years. But jeez, this is a little hard, even for me who considers herself kind of strong in some ways.
Maybe I need to be loading up on American Spirits, instead of car payments, comets be damned! I know I digress, sorry!
