MENTAL BLOCKING

[Alma.Innovadora]

By our behavior or choices or ignorance, arrogance or capriciousness.

If we're here to learn, then it means that we're wrong by default, but it also means we don't have to remain wrong.

Very interesting, thank you Alejo.

Well, that's what I'm working on now. Looking for the root of those sequels of my actions, attitudes, whims and egocentrism that will have once served to "help" me to be more confident of myself, to not put up with the abuse of others, etc. but that at the same time, left "collateral effects". Because without realizing it, there was a time when I turned into what I detested and lived under the "Eye for an eye".I don't come from a very healthy family, I practically looked outside for what I never had in the right way in my family, that created a lot of resistances of all kinds that you will know much more than me without saying much, and that's why now it's hard for me to see the mess I've made (laughs).

Unspoken words can lead to trauma, that is, the not acted out response to an injury can be traumatic. I don't mean to contact everyone who's ever betrayed you because that can be even more troublesome, but you could write them letters expressing everything you feel, you think and what it all meant, and keep them for yourself or burn them. Give that part of yourself a voice so that it doesn't feel ignored, and it can move on.

I'll try, I stopped writing a long time ago. I thought I didn't need it anymore because I decided to express how I felt. It was also not that I used it as a method of anything, just one day I was doing it and just as it came, it left.

Now that you mention it, I've only contacted two people again a long time ago, because if I did something wrong to their faces, the right thing to do is to come forward. Just as I talk about "the effect of unsaid words", there are people who also deserve to be heard, I spent so much time suing without realizing it so I thought it was the right thing, to listen now I, to put myself in their shoes because that problem was generated by me. I also took it as an exercise in working on humility.

The biggest damage I did to some is to return their words, especially when I was manipulative and arrogant people, I believed I had every right to do it because of how badly they treated others and in the end I became exactly the same, I enjoyed it. I can see the mirror in it.

Now, if those two people interpreted the fact that I contacted them again for apologizing as a sign of victimizing repentance, it was already their decision because I'm just being true to myself in that sense, I don't do it because I'm "tormented". But if the person incurs the same attitudes again for which I reacted badly, I simply will not act in the same way, I control myself, but there I have nothing to do and there the door is open anything.

That's because I spent a lot of time putting up with other people's garbage so well, I took very literally "give what you get" and "to everyone the fair".

It's tragic comical these lessons... others do it and it goes great, "Oh! cool, the bad guy/girl" But one does and all the universal laws fall on us... nice public school where we are (laughs).

Thanks again!

 

[Alejo]

That's because I spent a lot of time putting up with other people's garbage so well, I took very literally "give what you get" and "to everyone the fair".

And also because people don't deserve to be treated like garbage just because it's you who dispenses said garbage. And that's what I meant by we attract these events in our lives. Like, removing yourself from that idea, forgetting that you won't do it because you might get it, because you're still thinking about yourself.

Sometimes the lesson is very simple, you just don't treat people like that. It's childish and immature, and that is no way to get what you want. And not everyone knows this, and that is one of the reasons they can cheat and justify it after, because they don't want to consider themselves as evil or selfish.

But one has to be at peace with that fact, you could treat people badly, but you don't have to, but not everyone knows this. And by this I do not mean being a pushover, but rather placing aggression in its right place within you and becoming aware (and indeed choosing) of who you're going to (if you ever do) hurt.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

And also because people don't deserve to be treated like garbage just because it's you who dispenses said garbage. And that's what I meant by we attract these events in our lives.

Sometimes the lesson is very simple, you just don't treat people like that. It's childish and immature

Exactly. I could see it, I avoided it, I applied it, but I just snapped. I was immature in those years, what else was I going to do that wasn't immature? I had my weak common sense, but that wasn't enough protection, not with the kind of people I was always surrounded by. The lesson was simple certainly, there certainly are some, but even the slightest provocative situation with the necessary ignorance is enough to break you.

Yes, indeed I have also received a spoonful of my own medicine in specific cases. I recognize it, I accept it and I try to contemplate it enough to learn from it. I know very well where I have failed in this aspect and swallowing the dose of karmic spoon that corresponds to me, no matter how bitter it may be, there is no problem with that.

But one has to be at peace with that fact, you could treat people badly, but you don't have to, but not everyone knows this. And by this I do not mean being a pushover, but rather placing aggression in its right place within you and becoming aware (and indeed choosing) of who you're going to (if you ever do) hurt.

It has been interesting how I have had to be like others who act like this, observe it in me, make it part of me and go through a transformation that I avoided at all costs and in the process understand why others do it, do the same to others and then become aware of it to act differently or in the appropriate way in the face of those experiences. I had to touch the extremes, do what is and is not due, so to speak.

Really thank you for the mirror Alejo, because everything you have written to me, EVERYTHING, is what I needed to read since the ego has also taken subtle forms in which they can still make me believe that I may be right, when it is not so as well as the opposite! (laughs)

Reading the reading that everyone has shared as a result of this thread, I have been putting together the messy mental puzzle that I have had, Nancy Colier's reading is wonderful. After all, I still have resentments, pessimism and bitterness that I have not been fully aware of, there are still remnants.

I must change internal dialogues that have not been favorable, such as "if I am going to be surrounded by people who are only going to bother me, I prefer to be alone" which is contradictory because at the end of the day, that chaos is necessary to move forward, in fact when I was younger that was my bubble, my escapism, isolating myself. I had not realized all that pending task.

So well, to work very hard, there is no other way. Above all because I want to recover or bring back to "surface" positive aspects that I buried about myself.

Well, as in the transcriptions:

Is there anything I need to know that I didn't ask?

Thank you so much!

 

[Alejo]

I must change internal dialogues that have not been favorable, such as "if I am going to be surrounded by people who are only going to bother me, I prefer to be alone" which is contradictory because at the end of the day, that chaos is necessary to move forward, in fact when I was younger that was my bubble, my escapism, isolating myself. I had not realized all that pending task.

And ask yourself why do certain things bother you? you may still choose to not associate with someone, but you could learn why certain things bother you. Sometimes people bother us because they reflect back something about ourselves.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

And ask yourself why do certain things bother you?

Sometimes people bother us because they reflect back something about ourselves.

Well, related to resentment, yes, I was jealous of not having the same illusory life as others and that discomfort is due to insecurities due to my childhood, to the comparison with others. What I told you before, if in my family I was not accepted, much less formed to be a healthy human being in that sense, I sought acceptance outside that nucleus. It has been hard to learn about it.

What has bothered me the most in life is being called stupid, being underestimated and being ridiculed for fun because culturally that is "normal."

And what is associated with trauma?... well... the only source of that anger, of that constant humiliation, has been my mother and that pattern manifests itself in many ways in those daily experiences in the past.

When I have to associate with people who call others stupid, my buffers are activated, although as I have said, I only do it if they cross my lines, with the rest I adapt by understanding that they are not the source of the problem, that they have their own particular problems and that lack of respect is, well, that is already a minor problem.

At home I still have to deal with it and there is nothing to do about it. That is how she has been raised, that is how she has been treated in her childhood and that is how she will leave this world, being what she has chosen to be because she is unable to face it and as long as she continues like that, she is only a constant source of emotional and mental instability. I've already done too much by carrying a miserable life for it, forgiving her to the wind, understanding her situation and thus enduring the legion of demons that still remain inside me that only claim her.

It's dealing with a spoiled child in the body of a 60-year-old woman, where trauma and perhaps cognitive problems are associated. She has a way of pushing the maximum expression of anger to make you want to react physically just to shut her up. I hated her when I was a child, I wished her death, because she never sat down to talk about anything, everything was a beating, a shouting, and so with her partners, her friends, as if she expressed her own frustration just as I have expressed it! Nothing more and nothing less.

And I know I'm not crazy, because today her own friends have talked about it!... thank God I'm not crazy! I'm not the only one who has realized.

I recently read something about Pierre, or someone related to him, something about anger towards the mother and how that caused someone to get cancer, I don't remember very well what it was like. Well, I did manage to express that resentment, but not in the best way, I don't keep what I feel to myself but now the difficult thing is not to stop expressing it, the damn difficult thing is to avoid doing it the way I do it now towards her and deal with a person incapable of recognizing her mistake in anything as if doing so were a weakness, something that is not allowed because it would be recognizing oneself as useless perhaps.

She never worked in her life and well she was pointed out for that by her family so maybe that has something to do with it. But she is also not aware of the problem that it causes and well, I have to bear her problem just by living with her. A simple example, I am the only one who works at home, if I lose my job, she is there worried and pressuring me to get another one but she has been incapable in her life of figuring out how to get ahead on her own and also help, she only expects money from a niece, a friend and what she receives from a pension. When I have told her to consider it to help each other, her only answer has been "I don't want to work"... oh! OK... do I have to hurry for her? Do I have to work twice as hard for her and her unconsciousness and her comfort and inability to be a functional adult? And mind you, I said before that even so, I want to honor my parents in life...

I don't have anywhere to go to live either, the situation in this country has not allowed me to buy a house and the rent exceeds what I earn.

How annoying to lead a life like that, trying to be conscious of oneself and still deal with the way of being of nothing more and nothing less than a father or a mother. So I'll have to die before her to be at peace once and for all, because I don't know what else I can do with myself.

What else am I going to "avoid" saying, thinking or doing so that something changes? It must be karma from several previous lives, because I understand what she has to say about me from this forum or from any person around me with a minimum of consciousness, if I have to correct something, ok but it's me. What's happening with her? It's not normal anymore.

Well Alejo, here are the writing exercises now . Heavens!... all that is connected...

you may still choose to not associate with someone, but you could learn why certain things bother you.

That's the funny thing about it. Those I know I shouldn't associate with anymore, go off on their own when I set boundaries or their lies no longer work with me. There are others with whom I can track their behavior patterns enough to know where they will take me and to what extent I should relate to them. Sometimes I don't even need to get involved in the same cycle of experience. If you're looking at the height of the cliff, you know how you're going to end up and I've already left the cliff complex behind.

Right now I'm more willing to accept experiences that are a little more difficult because sometimes in that same repetitive cycle there are certainly opportunities even with the same people. When the same person appears several times, something already catches my attention, I don't assume it for good or bad, I know who I'm dealing with, but I just "let's see what happens," especially if they appear just when I ask the universe for help, triple attention!

When it comes to synchronicities, it's scary, it's inevitable to feel under the eye of something.

Although if I deal with 3 people in life, how else are they going to approach me, either to help or to attack, even to trigger my shock absorbers through that interaction? (laughs). It amuses me how a hermit like me can be affected even by 3 people who appear every 5 years.

 

[Alejo]

Wow, the situation at home is really tough.

Is there anyone else in your family that you can talk to about this? I realize that her situation might lead to no one wanting to get involved and leaving it all on your lap.

I presume you've talked to her about how you feel, yes? What is her response usually?

The way I read the situation, and it does explain a lot of the resentment, is there was a reversal of roles, you became the caregiver and she became the child to be looked after. But yet, you got to somehow remain under her somehow.

I know the answer seems obvious, and you've said as much, your financial situation prevents you from leaving, but I still wanted to ask, is there another reason you've stayed? Some might've just left as any other situation might've been preferable than staying. So, is there anything else, that makes you stay?

 

[Arwenn]

This list below could be seen as helping mental blocking tangentially, by way of maintaining spiritual hygiene. It’s from the Cs Session 18 May 2019:

Thanks for sharing! So if I haven't forgotten anything, the list would look like this:

List of things to do in order to protect oneself against hyperdimensional manipulations and harm:

• Avoid dissociating and feeding negative thought loops: dissociating is being in a fantasy and not paying attention to reality. If you dissociate, you have negative thoughts that lead to negative thought loops.
• Diet: having a bad diet contributes to ingesting the chemicals that the STS forces wants us to ingest in order to poison us and mess up our antennae.
  • Is good to do intermittent fasting.
• Share impressions and troubles: thoughts, worries, fears, etc. Not doing this “dramatically changes the inner landscape and can even shut down the receptors so that you are more subject to STS manipulation of thoughts and feelings via mechanical means.”
• Make amends when possible to the wronged person, and when not possible making those amends to the world at large: in case that trying to make amends would make things worse we can achieve redemption by giving to the universe and others in need.
• Conserve energy and not feeding STS dynamics: STS uses many tricks and traps to suck people into negative dynamics so that they become food. When you become food, you're feeding the STS side and empowering it against not only your own best interests, but also against the best interests of STO itself. We have to be careful not to fall into the pity trap, they’ll try to make us feel guilty or sorry for them, and that makes us food. At the same time you're feeding your own ego because you feel like a savior or needed or like you'll get something. It's that dynamic of the feminine vampire.
  • We need to have the right feelings towards the right person in the right context.
• Connect with ancestors and honored saintly type people in 5D for protection: we should find out if we have any ancestors or deceased relatives or somebody who were good and decent people who one can talk to mentally or communicate with by writing letters to them, or dream communication, and ask them for protection. And if you can't find your ancestors, you have to find someone else's ancestors. You can hook up with somebody who has good ancestors, and their ancestors become your ancestors by you having shared realities.
• It would be good for certain people to guide the newly deceased: If there is somebody in your circle of acquaintances or group or whatever who is in the process of passing over or recently did pass over, you could in some way help guide them in the reality to which they may not be accustomed (obviously), but mainly because of their thought patterns during life.
• Use “the mirror” in a group situation as a way to bring people to full awareness of their reality: this should be handled carefully as many are not ready for that advanced work.
• Pray.
• Sing together: it has to be done with the right songs, getting an order of songs to sing in a certain order of a certain type. If everybody sings the same songs around the world, this would be like a limbic link up.
• Divination.
• Apostles Paul’s list of things to avoid and things to enhance:
  • Vices to avoid: fornication, licentiousness, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, envy, drunkenness. Self-conceit, provoking one another, and envy.
  • Virtues to enhance: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
  • It’s important to have in mind that “Whatsoever a man sows, that will he also reap”, and “let us not grow weary or lose heart." Most important to remember the "sowing" part in the context of your antennae and how your antennae determines your future. If you're not taking care of your inner landscape and the immediate world around you in terms of your group and your associations and so forth, you're screwing up your antenna and then you're going to have a bad future because your antenna will attract the wrong things.
• To do Eiriu Eolas together and crystals, etc.

 

[Ricardo]

I'll add , some sort of physical exercise , which can be as light as any age permits ( and type ,ie , one that the pleiadians recommended , and has helped me , was turning , similar to what sufis do )

 

[Renaissance]

I don't have anywhere to go to live either, the situation in this country has not allowed me to buy a house and the rent exceeds what I earn.

I'd suggest that the first order of getting your life situated involves living on your own in one way or another. Why not look for available rooms to rent with a roommate or roommates?