Laura said:
Getting back to self-remembering: that is more like a sort of "divided" consciousness where the "watcher within" is fully alert and "on" and the personality is functioning also, under observation by the "watcher."
That's it! That is sooo what I was kind of trying to describe as the cognitive framework of it - the "watcher within" being the self-monitor that only seems to be possible when what I call the "inductive cognitive loop" has "switched on". The rest of my description was more like reference to the surge of feeling. The feeling doesn't stay that intense...it settles down, but you have a higher overall energy level and quicker, and a little bit more intense, sense perception and whatever else can be heightened by more energy levels!
Being under a certain pressure can start this loop, but once started, if the conditions are correct, I guess, it stays that way until something causes the heaviness to set back in (see the excerpt: "on a Spaceship with Beelzebub" below) - what I have been calling the "drugged state". Since I can contrast my own 'on' and 'off' states due to the "flip flop" effect, so far these two descriptions seem very isomorphic to my experiences, but not necessarily proof.
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Laura said:
Okay, here is the excerpt from "on a Spaceship with Beelzebub"
This was beginning work at dividing our attention. It became increasingly important as time went on to do this without external reminders, such as an exercise. Our goal was to be able to divide ourselves into the observer and the thing observed, an almost impossible feat.
When we failed, as we did repeatedly, Lord Pentland would say, "If it were not possible, the work would not be possible—for this is the work, which has been placed before us to reveal to us that we are two. We must see this from our own observations. For if we do, then we will begin to move in the direction of one. One indivisible. The one that cannot be divided. The individual, hmm?"
More than once he broke the inevitable silence that followed a statement that was out of our grasp by saying, "I don't know how it is with you, but up here the weather is fine."
One evening, while walking home with Nonny, I tried to step around a frankfurter vendor, but I had apparently gotten in his way because he pushed me and started hollering. I turned and began hollering back at him, matching his volume and duplicating his anger. But as I did I felt myself becoming detached from the argument. It was as if I was watching two people having a fight. It was almost funny, in part because it was over nothing—as I could clearly see—and also because I was enjoying the confrontation, not as one caught in it, but as an actor performing a role.
When we left him and began crossing the street, Nonny remarked, "I've never seen you like that before. You seemed, I don't know how to put it, untouched, almost indifferent...." I hadn't put it into words myself, but from the moment I had turned away from the vendor and began walking, I felt like I was traveling on air. I saw, not only that something in me had separated from the event, but that my ordinary state was one of heaviness, a heaviness of spirit that had clearly affected my body, and that I had always taken for granted as being how I was. And now, suddenly, and out of nowhere, I saw that there was a new possibility: a possibility to not always be as I had always been.
From my perspective, there is nothing odd about the above excerpt, because that's simply a description of how it is. Once you're used to this state, then looking at the confrontation situation described above, you don't get into that kind of thing to begin with, if you can avoid it, because you are pre-aware of the senslessness of it and know how it's going to turn out. That guy simply realized it on-the-fly.
The implications of achieving this state towards Recapitulation efforts and dealing with being stuck in narcissistic programming and stuff are profound. Seems like the Work could be easier when you have the "watcher" that can see and analyze the programs without being the one who is in them (identified with them).
Now flip all this around and look at it from a perspective that may never have occurred to some people.
Let's say the state described above really is Self-Remembering. Let's also say that the cognitive framework, or capacity, is already present when you're born and as a small child. Now imagine that the process of toxifying people, drugging them, encouraging drugging them, abusing them, ritualizing them, etc., from a very young age, are all efforts to make people forget themselves before they have a chance to realize what is really going on.
If you can succeed, you can rule the world, I suppose, because with that heaviness in place, people will get used to this state. They will no longer notice it, because they lost the "watcher" that would have warned them if it had any idea what would happen. Since they cannot think about the way they think WITH the way they NOW think, they won't even get a clue by noticing their own contradictory statements and behavior.
Why? Because they would have forgotten themselves, and they can't know what they're missing if they cannot remember themselves when they had it (the whole concept is gone, not just the cognitive ability). And they couldn't contrast their own states until the "watcher" came back on, OSIT. And they will coerce others in a million different ways (just like they themselves are coerced by others) - in any way that they can in order to get them to forget themselves too and to just comply with the existing order. Since some of the victimizers are unable to see what they are doing, they just do it without understanding and are, therefore, mechanical.
Or so it all seems from that perspective. I don't know for sure, of course, but it would be nice to have a testable and falsifiable hypothesis, I suppose. Just don't involve that Barkley dude. The guy is vicious. I reckon he's either one of "them heavy people" (Kate Bush) himself, or a self-hater - envious of the wonder of life in others. :)
If any of this could be the case, we could probably expect the unexpected from somewhere if there is someone or some people who'd rather not see this discussion in a public forum. Who knows?
