Agreed it's definitely a difficult situation, especially since everybody else isn't aware of what is bound to happen. I guess taking it day by day and not try to think way ahead is the only way to cope. But obviously, it's not easy, especially if all around you everybody keeps talking about the future and what they've planned!
In a way, the Covid-19 frenzy kind of helped me come to term with my mortality. Back then, I really thought that Covid was the harbinger for massive change and that 2020 would be the end of everything.
At first I was REALLY stressed out and would buy try to buy tons of food and build up reserves of essential stuff. I don't live alone. I live with relatives and at some point, it occurred to me that no matter how much food, medicine, and other essentials I gathered, if an apocalyptic scenario truly took place, there would never be enough. There would always come a day where the reserve would be empty, and this isn't taking into consideration the fact that in times of severe hardship many bad things can befall someone from thievery to weather issues to health issues and so on and so forth. It kind of highlighted to me the futility of stressing about the future and death and what not and I kind of developed a bit of "what will be, will be and you will deal with it when it comes".
Also, I think that the thread of what happen after death also helped me be at peace with potential death. The afterlife sounded kinda lit :).
I kind of got to the point where I thought that when it came down to it, although there were a few things that I would've liked to do in this life that I don't think I would get to do due to the timeline we're living in, my life's been decent and I've had fun. Also, as time went on and especially in the last couple of months, it just hit me that our world couldn't go on the way it's going. An end, the potential destruction of our world/ society just seemed like the logical conclusion of our age.
It's like people have lost their mind. I'm not talking about wokeness, but just generally. Everyone is obsessed with owning the other side, get their opinion out, endlessly debating trivial topics, publishing essays about unimportant things; it's like the entire world has lost sense of reality and what matters.
But on the flip side, unlike others on the forum who are kind of prepared (at peace) for the SHIFT/ apocalypse/ end of the world as we know it, I really don't want to live through that. Call it cowardice, but I imagine the bitter cold, the desperate hunger, the endless despair and hopelessness, not having electricity, the senseless violence that follows any major crisis, not knowing what any day could bring, and if I'm being honest, death sounds a lot better, especially since when I look at what's been said so far, it always sounded to me like our society wasn't going to survive anyway (and reincarnation would be the mean for the most evolved to experience a new realm). I'm not saying this in a doom and gloom sort of way, but more like genuinely, death sounds nice.
So in a way, it's not that I'm exactly desperate, but I'm like things are hard out there (at a personal level, 2022 especially ended on a good note, but was trying in many ways), life isn't easy peasy. I'm hustling, trying to stay above water, and all those efforts are going to end in terror, trauma and extreme suffering? And I get that there's meaning in suffering (on an intellectual level) and I get that all of us will be in the same boat, but I'm still lowkey resentful.
Also, a part of me is like, ok this world is gonna end, we've gotten hints that it's going to be sooner rather than later. Are we talking 5 or 10 years? 20 years?! Currently I'm single and don't have children. I'm happy that way. But I'm like say the end is coming, but it doesn't happen now but years down the line and life takes it course. Right now, you're single with no dependents, but can you guarantee that it'll stay the same forever? I really wouldn't want to face the end of the world, but also have kids that I would be responsible for (in particular toddlers/ very young kids because at this stage, it's mainly drudgery and the most difficult phase) and need to think about their survival while also deep down believing that none of us are meant to survive and not particularly wanting to be alive either. It would just feel like going through a lot of hardship for no reason. And to be completely honest, it's the main reason why I'm single and would rather remain single (but I might have been reluctant to the idea even without the global situation anyway). It just seems a lot easier and manageable emotionally speaking (and in a way physically too if we're facing the apocalypse, it's easier to feed a single mouth rather than several).
I know it sounds silly, and it probably is. But does anyone ever have similar thoughts??
