Thank You for sharing this communication with ourselves in the future, with us in the present!
How are you doing?
Where I live winter is fighting with spring. There is a war going on, a dispute fully visible. We get snow almost every day. Spring is trying its best to dodge the snow. Trees are slowly, almost reluctantly, turning greener. Birds are merrily chirping, singing for the victory of spring in this Nature's act of "counter balancing".
Today I noticed how I was thinking to myself, hit by the realities of my own life:
"No, I don't want this anylonger! This never ending forced focus on finances simply tires me out. 'They' have won. Or did I let them win in a walk-over? How do I know that there aren't sides and aspects to this situation that I don't know about, because I'm not looking - because I got too fatigued? Is getting fatigued an excuse to giving up? No."
In analysing, I arrived at the insight that it really is like it says in the warning in the end of this session:
"Be aware that you are currently under attack by forces that wish to silence you and end your exertions on behalf of your group in specific and the planet in general. These forces are getting desperate and will attempt to use any inroad possible. Be awake and alert at all times. Any disputes or disagreements can be easily blown out of proportion to your destruction. And then, when the negative energy is withdrawn, the devastation left will be amplified by the knowledge that it was all a deception. [Planchette swirls around and around for about 45 seconds] You have been warned. Do not take this lightly. Communicate and listen. It will take all of you together to navigate these dangers!!! Goodbye."
"Any dispute or disagreement" - because of the word
"any", it may equally indicate disputes or disagreements arising from within us,
not necessarily only by way of the external, triggering inner conflict, resulting in thoughts, actions, which are contraproductive, and may cause destructive results.
It's getting more difficult by the day. But how to define "difficult"? It's the physical survival part, I guess, combined with this inner fatigue. The inner fatigue is derived from a deep existential sense of having had it with all this sensate physicality, thus fatigue not only from the finance part, even though that of course is also a part of the machinations of this laborious material realm.
Need for physical survival and existential fatigue clash big time! The need for physical survival, to me, is meant only in the context of being able to pay my bills and feed myself as long as needed. To give up the physical existence per se is of no consequence. There is nothing in my flesh which would be a reason to keep me here.
The reason to keep me here lies elsewhere.
I currently feel like being among one of the last grains of sand squeezing in slow motion speed through the narrowest passage in an hourglass soon to be empty in its upper part
- albeit knowing that I'm not just ending up in an equally contained space on the other side after having squeezed my way through. When having passed through, I am not a physical grain anylonger, that's for sure. Also we are many last grains of sand in this squeezing process. You are not alone. We're squeezing together!
"Strive to enter through the narrow gate,
for many, I say to you, will seek to enter
and will not be able."
- Luke 13:24
"Enter through the narrow gate.
For wide is the gate
and broad is the road
that leads to destruction,
and many enter through it.
But small is the gate
and narrow the road
that leads to life,
and only a few find it."
- Matthew 7:13-14
Tried the other day to explain to someone how, when - like me - one's existential focus always was, and unfaltering is,
We and not
I, how you get to process, purge and cleanse also for others, all the while you are processing, purging and cleansing as an individual. It comes quite naturally, without effort. But this sharing of burdens, whenever it is being allowed (it all depends on the nature of the soul lessons, karma and if free will allow the sharing), originates from soul intention. Because when your heart's intention is We, the We includes all of creation, i e no part excluded. There is no "Us" vs "Them". No STS vs STO. When others are suffering, I suffer for them because there is no separation between us.
I am You, because We are. We do not perish in this sharing of burdens. In true empathy, and love of the highest order, we are delivered. In my practice as a Christian shaman this sharing of pain, and suffering, to feel the other, is what always constituted the foundation of my shamanic practice.
When I watch the psychopaths in action, I feel their inner pain, their suffering. And now I am speaking of the soul, not of the mind. Because in their minds they show no pain, nor suffering, no conscious remorse. On soul level it is a different matter altogether. Because I remember the incarnations where darkness was my lodestar, and I behaved in similar, or in exactly the same ways. But I also remember, because this incarnation triggered these most dark soul memories in me, how my inner life was looking like in those incarnations, what drove me to darkness. How the intent of the ego clashed with the knowledge of the soul. How deep down I felt this pain, this constant guilt, of going against all natural laws of the universe to pursue that which I at the time felt the urge to pursue.
Anyway, that's where I feel my physical focus is being put in the present: to not only support my own physical survival in all this, but also to support others, not just in my shamanic distance healing work, which may not be so physical, but in communicating, talking, in being present, by active and attentive listening, and in writing. Simply in actively and consciously Being. And equally welcome the same offered to me in return. Not to forget the physical Oneness we have attuned in the Cassiopaean crystals.
To quote the warning:
"Communicate and listen. It will take all of you together to navigate these dangers!!!"
To unconditionally nurture others the way we nurture ourselves.
All the while I can "see and envision" things quite differently now only compared to a couple of weeks ago, and compared to one year ago. My inner life awareness has somehow gradually expanded over a long period of time, and the "within" has become more grounded and settled in a way which is difficult to describe. The word "calibration" comes to mind to explain this perceived process. The Wave has this effect.
There will be more trials and tribulations for sure. Our spiritual mettle will be tested, has been tested, is being tested, in a multitude of ways.
It's a painful process for many. And when trying to ascertain where exactly this "pain" has its source, I first concluded it is from a multitude of sources, both external and internal influences, such as ego. However, perhaps "ego" may even be the common denominatory factor of all of these "multitude of sources". For ego Free Will is what it feeds off of. Without Free Will, ego would simply not be fed.
After all, the management, the grooming, of this realm is run by ego. It wants to control, dominate and influence. And when not being able to control, dominate and influence, ego experiences separation, and becomes worried and unstable, resulting in increasing efforts to strengthen this control, domination and influence. It's an endless loop of maintaining the status quo of being fed by its desired and selected nutrients.
Hence this "inner pain", by many perceived when their being is in the active process of expanding, has the purpose of deception, to lure us into a designed state of negativity, thus putting a clamp on transformation. Perhaps one might even suffice it to say that this is the binding "consciousness glue" of this realm - a realm which we used our free will to be a part of - the trying to instill in us the illusion of separation, thus inflicting "phantom soul pain" when perceiving something associative to separation. All the while we are indeed consciously transforming, and striving at transforming, beyond our current self-imposed limits. This transformation, this expansion, is to some the same as separation, while nothing of the sort to others. It's all depending on where our current perception abides along the STS-STO scale. This deceptive, illusory "force of attraction" aims at keeping us attached. It has the function of being a "mind glue". That's how I perceived it. At least for now.
And if so, if feeling "separation angst", one is always invited to explore why one is (still) allowing the bonding mechanism of this illusion to influence (in this way).
That's the whole point with these communications with ourselves in the future, to gently point ourselves towards this narrow gate, by nudging and stirring in us our innate ability to recognise inner truth and knowledge, but also to recognise it reflected outside of ourselves.
Free Will is the motivating factor which we use to propel us in any direction. But are we willy-nilly going in any direction? Go where your lessons are! But if you seem to have done your lessons again and again, and not sure what you have learnt from it, perhaps now is the time to be freewilling (yes, a new verb!) yourself in another direction to find that narrow gate of yours...!
Thank You!