Splitting as a Symptom of Internal Considering

[Carl]

Even with all the knowledge of the importance of faith in the universe, taking risks, and an adventurous attitude, whenever we're hit by even a most minor storm something inside me just screams "Everyone overboard, we're DOOOMED!!", and suddenly that dark, morbid filter descends upon the filter through which I view life and the Universe. It's breathtaking to see, and humbling to see how little power I actually have against it.

If you're not exaggerating a bit here Carlise, you might consider a related condition that Martha Stout refers to as "crisis-addicted". As Laura pointed to earlier, the addiction is to the brain chemical rush - it doesn't bring on "crises", but the reaction to these events is the same (and way out of proportion). Obviously the events are not really crisis events but the reaction and rush are similar and can produce a pretty severe jolt to those around you. Just another view that may help - fwiw.

Looking back, it was kind of exaggerated in that I was kind of venting certain feelings, it really kind of wrote itself. Making it over dramatic helped me laugh at it all and come to a new understanding, though maybe it would have been better in the swamp. Still though, this feels quite real when I go through it, the bleakness that comes with a crisis. It's a fairly recent thing as well, so maybe there is some health problem that I'm missing so far, it's not a healthy reaction. I'm learning to deal with it better now, today I got a lot done despite the adversity, and I'm coming to enjoy the struggles, I feel like they help me grow.


Still thank you for the suggestion, I will look into it.

 

[dant]

{snip!}

Perhaps for some of us, something a bit slower?
(Hi Laura & Ark!)

 

[clearmiddle]

Since I'm sort of collecting examples here (and hope that ya'll will contribute other possible examples), there's a particular type of personality that works this way when splitting/internal considering takes hold:

First, they have rapid and overwhelming emotional reactions to whatever the trigger is, and start out from a state of being emotionally worked up. Then, the more this type thinks while in that state, the more s/he freaks out the self, so to say. And the more convinced s/he is that s/he is RIGHT about whatever.

The sad thing is that the more this person continues to "think", the more inaccurate, outlandish, irrational, out of proportion and out of context the thoughts become. This sort of person can drive themselves to do many things that are damaging to others but, in the long run, mostly to themselves.

I am dealing with a situation like this with another person where I am the primary target of the freaking out. It is a major aspect of my life right now, and has been for a fairly long time. I don't want to further discuss the personal details in the public forum, which is why I have not brought it up, other than to say that it is not a static situation -- the other person is now becoming aware of it, both of us are making changes, and things seem to be improving.

I do seem to attract this sort of thing, but then I seem to learn from it each time too.

 

[Muxel]

Candy from A Killing in a Small Town: (Thread How My Aunt Marge Ended Up in the Deep Freeze . . . ) She could not allow herself to express pain/anger. Someone like that probably spent their whole life avoiding confrontation and trying to make nice with people, because I think that a measure of anger underlies the instinct to defend/protect oneself, and she could not bring herself to go there. Then she was finally backed into a corner with her old triggers activated in sequence and boom! Thud, thud, thud - long after the threat was gone.

 

[Laura]

Candy from A Killing in a Small Town: (Thread How My Aunt Marge Ended Up in the Deep Freeze . . . ) She could not allow herself to express pain/anger. Someone like that probably spent their whole life avoiding confrontation and trying to make nice with people, because I think that a measure of anger underlies the instinct to defend/protect oneself, and she could not bring herself to go there. Then she was finally backed into a corner with her old triggers activated in sequence and boom! Thud, thud, thud - long after the threat was gone.

Yeah, that's a pretty good example of what can happen if suppression/repression goes too far for too long and there is buried trauma.

 

[Aithin Tusa Fein]

Well I got a punching bag and just in time for some more 'grease on the stove'. So I set it up and began to work it adding dialogue to the moves expressing what I felt, was going to do, etc. etc. And I gotta say, it worked. I got the 'smoke' out, well... most of it. But enough that I wasn't thinking black and white anymore.

 

[SMM]

I've printed this thread out to make some notes from.
This evening whilst with another girl, a third girl walked past whom had given me certain 'glance overs' in the past which didn't agree with the Predator in me. I could see/observe the 'desire' for the girl who was with me to express dislike for her, to confirm my own subjective state.

Candy from A Killing in a Small Town: (Thread How My Aunt Marge Ended Up in the Deep Freeze . . . ) She could not allow herself to express pain/anger. Someone like that probably spent their whole life avoiding confrontation and trying to make nice with people, because I think that a measure of anger underlies the instinct to defend/protect oneself, and she could not bring herself to go there. Then she was finally backed into a corner with her old triggers activated in sequence and boom! Thud, thud, thud - long after the threat was gone.

Yeah, that's a pretty good example of what can happen if suppression/repression goes too far for too long and there is buried trauma.

That's a film I'd like to catch sometime! This was me for a good while after touting pain/anger in the self as weakness.

Even with all the knowledge of the importance of faith in the universe, taking risks, and an adventurous attitude, whenever we're hit by even a most minor storm something inside me just screams "Everyone overboard, we're DOOOMED!!", and suddenly that dark, morbid filter descends upon the filter through which I view life and the Universe. It's breathtaking to see, and humbling to see how little power I actually have against it.

If you're not exaggerating a bit here Carlise, you might consider a related condition that Martha Stout refers to as "crisis-addicted". As Laura pointed to earlier, the addiction is to the brain chemical rush - it doesn't bring on "crises", but the reaction to these events is the same (and way out of proportion). Obviously the events are not really crisis events but the reaction and rush are similar and can produce a pretty severe jolt to those around you. Just another view that may help - fwiw.

Looking back, it was kind of exaggerated in that I was kind of venting certain feelings, it really kind of wrote itself. Making it over dramatic helped me laugh at it all and come to a new understanding, though maybe it would have been better in the swamp. Still though, this feels quite real when I go through it, the bleakness that comes with a crisis. It's a fairly recent thing as well, so maybe there is some health problem that I'm missing so far, it's not a healthy reaction. I'm learning to deal with it better now, today I got a lot done despite the adversity, and I'm coming to enjoy the struggles, I feel like they help me grow.


Still thank you for the suggestion, I will look into it.

LQB, where does Martha refer to this?

 

[LQB]

LQB, where does Martha refer to this?

I think its in The Myth of Sanity - the context is the treatment and recovery from past trauma. She says that those folks that are recovering from trauma should actively avoid contact with "crisis-addicted" individuals since these individuals will constantly be pushing the trauma victim's button's, making therapy and recovery much more difficult. This stood out for me since I know someone who fits "crisis-addicted" like a glove, and the effect of the crisis-addicted behavior is like brain-to-brain chemical transfer.

 

[beetlemaniac]

Wow

Just reading the first few posts on this thread and sleeping on it seems to have flipped a few switches in my own mind. I was so blind to how the Control and Shame characteristics -- especially suppression of shame -- was controlling my thoughts and actions. I thought I was just not-expressing negative emotions, but I always felt that something was wrong. It became more clear to me how rigid I was when my younger brother moved in with me just a few weeks ago, it was so difficult to adapt to his presence, I was just feeling ticked-off and annoyed by everything he did. When he made any requests for simple things like groceries and food I'd feel like I was being attacked. Now writing about it, seems so profoundly selfish of me. But the feelings are what they were and I couldn't change them until I understood the underlying dynamics behind the need for rigid control over my living environment and leisure time, which truth be told, sometimes just wasn't really leisure at all. I feel like I've learned these lessons before though. It's frustrating to see myself reliving these problems again.

Thanks so much for all the contributions!

 

[cubbex]

I agree too much with the information. I've noticed I spit only, and only when i'm full angry with a person, only when all my compassion and mercy has gone, and just before getting into a fist fight or verbally attacking that person. Apart of that, I see it kinda nasty and like, some trait of the typical macho guy.

But i know I only do it rarely.

I forgot to mention another example of this little kid I used to see, because my friend was put in charge of him. This kid was always spiting, he was always throwing saliva, but my friend told me that the kid used to work for the drug dealers, and he saw lots of people being killed and tortured, I guess he was like 12 or 13 years old. Poor boy seriously.

 

[Aiming]

I've tried something out the other day. It didn't involve the body yet, but something hurtful said by a family member of mine sent me into that internal considering spiral and I immediately thought of this thread. So what I did was letting those feelings out, verbalizing and dramatizing them while being fully aware that it's just this part of me triggered that needs release. It worked really well. The difference between this and previous experiencing of such feelings was that while being aware what one is doing and why, being simultaneously in that observer role, resulted in a cleansing of sorts, i.e. after those feelings and narratives were out, it was done with. In contrast to the previous wallowing and never ending loops.

Next step will be to practise to involve the body at the next upcoming situation. I can imagine from this little experiment how effective this technique can be. Probably most effective when one can share these conscious dramas with others. But once when I - in another situation - tried to do that role playing by involving the body, I noticed I had difficulty really going into that. So I think doing this with others indeed takes trust.

 

[Laura]

I agree too much with the information. I've noticed I spit only, and only when i'm full angry with a person, only when all my compassion and mercy has gone, and just before getting into a fist fight or verbally attacking that person. Apart of that, I see it kinda nasty and like, some trait of the typical macho guy.

But i know I only do it rarely.

I forgot to mention another example of this little kid I used to see, because my friend was put in charge of him. This kid was always spiting, he was always throwing saliva, but my friend told me that the kid used to work for the drug dealers, and he saw lots of people being killed and tortured, I guess he was like 12 or 13 years old. Poor boy seriously.

Please notice that the term is SPLITTING not SPITTING. It is a psychological term, not a description of projectile saliva.

You may want to start reading from the beginning again.

 

[shellycheval]

Aiming

I've tried something out the other day. It didn't involve the body yet, but something hurtful said by a family member of mine sent me into that internal considering spiral and I immediately thought of this thread. So what I did was letting those feelings out, verbalizing and dramatizing them while being fully aware that it's just this part of me triggered that needs release. It worked really well. The difference between this and previous experiencing of such feelings was that while being aware what one is doing and why, being simultaneously in that observer role, resulted in a cleansing of sorts, i.e. after those feelings and narratives were out, it was done with. In contrast to the previous wallowing and never ending loops.

(my bold)

Thanks Aiming,
I think this is a good description of what I call "processing" emotions and what I have interpreted as what Laura refers to as "metabolizing" emotions.
It is being able to feel the emotions (electro-chemical messengers) passing through the body while at the same time recognizing with the mind that they
are temporary, and may be simple programmed reactions to perceived stimuli, or important messages intended to influence some changes in our behaviors,
or, as it appears to me, most often a complex mixture of both important messages and programmed reactions that require more than one experience to recognize and sort out and let go.
shellycheval

 

[kenlee]

So what I did was letting those feelings out, verbalizing and dramatizing them while being fully aware that it's just this part of me triggered that needs release. It worked really well. The difference between this and previous experiencing of such feelings was that while being aware what one is doing and why, being simultaneously in that observer role, resulted in a cleansing of sorts, i.e. after those feelings and narratives were out, it was done with. In contrast to the previous wallowing and never ending loops.

I've found that what you describe above works for me as well. I've found that as long as my verbalizing is done consciously in a safe environment then it can bring to light the absurdity of how I often take my subjective reactions so seriously and how feeding it with emotional energy turns them into such absurdly big reactions. There realliy is a comic nature to it all, since, deep subjectivity and the distortion of reality that results from it, when compared to objective reality is, I think, comic by nature and the comic nature of it all is closer to a more accurate perception of reality..

 

[cubbex]

I agree too much with the information. I've noticed I spit only, and only when i'm full angry with a person, only when all my compassion and mercy has gone, and just before getting into a fist fight or verbally attacking that person. Apart of that, I see it kinda nasty and like, some trait of the typical macho guy.

But i know I only do it rarely.

I forgot to mention another example of this little kid I used to see, because my friend was put in charge of him. This kid was always spiting, he was always throwing saliva, but my friend told me that the kid used to work for the drug dealers, and he saw lots of people being killed and tortured, I guess he was like 12 or 13 years old. Poor boy seriously.

Please notice that the term is SPLITTING not SPITTING. It is a psychological term, not a description of projectile saliva.

You may want to start reading from the beginning again.

what? noooo !! I got it all wrong, for god's sake. Thanks.

Pretty much explains my doubts when I was reading the part of the peptides description and the hamsters, I really wanted to know how to relate it.