XPan
The Living Force
As for you ex-husband, I would delete all contact with him, including FB. You two have clearly nothing in common and he's seem to be a manipulative, opportunistic man who took the Koolaid. We can deduce which side he would have picked 70 years ago.
You seem to have landed youself a good man with Sal and from what you share with us, it looks like you have a happy life, worth living. Don't bother with toxic people who take the opposite path.
FWIW
Thank you, ryu.
I did not want to make a big fuzz out of a personal story, albeit I felt I needed to write about... (which sometimes puts me in a somewhat unstable state of worry, once I openly write about it... )
But you know... reading what other forum members write and have written, their own experience of death in the family, friends and people close to them who also had deaths due to the lethal injects... Those are many crosses who come crashing down on everyone - that makes my own stories small. (i mean that in a good sense).
So, my story is just... well, a story. One of many. I realize that, I know this. In the heat of the moment (up to a week) i tend to develop a sort of strong over pressure, energy like steam wanting to burst out. Then I snap out of it. I remember this happened also when our dog Tekki died... but after some time it really does wind down towards balanced levels. (But i can sometimes feel embarrassed afterwards, wondering if i made too much wind about it)
I don't have facebook, but I do have access to my husbands log-in nowadays, which I only use when checking the Vulkane.net facebook group and it's photos - but never go into private sites of friends, and people from my past. Except that one time, when I wanted to investigate more about Olof's death... but fell into the temptation to check that Israeli ex husband, too. Otherwise facebook does not tempt me.
Beautiful words, thank you @ryu
You are absolutely right. And with your words, I call upon my spirit, which i had sent out on an angry mission (due to my negative emotions about former ghost ex husbands and such), to come back to me, here, into the now. The place where the energy is best needed - and not somewhere "back in time, dwelling in an old past". With that..., like you said, i did indeed land a good man with Sal (but not until i was mature enough to truly engage with another human being, on a higher level, i realize).The secret connections of "reminders"
I also noticed, that when reading many experiences from other forum members, their/our stories, is soothing. Not as in "consumption" one would seek to "ease the pain", like a pill or something. I mean it more in the sense of, reading what other people experience, it re-connects to that inner call, the forgotten higher aspects on one's soul. It is almost like traveling though the eyes of other beings. Reminding of what is important... and all the crap that isn't really, yet sometimes bobs around in the mind, re-playing ghost stories, like an old, broken record.
Or for example like Kay Kim does; from time to time reminding us forum members, what really is important. And she does that in such a beautiful, gentle way: to re-connect the dots e.g. from the C's scripts and the contents and meaning of it... and it really works. (many other forum members also have done it, I truly love it):
It awakens a call from within, rising anew, following the dots, integrating them with our private experiences. wisdom and parallels. It is so powerful. Like a silent... help guide. A sort of bridge, even in a storm, if you like. Or, like a poem, a beautiful scent, piercing a road straight though the many layers of confusion, creating a pathway to the heart (as in being a center for deep wisdom when listening carefully, calmly and intuitively).
And when listening to that song, it surely makes things suddenly look a lot brighter, where possibilities don't seem to be so impossible anymore. It also aligns ones sorrows to become a more natural part of life and living, without the ego's persistence wanting to induce excessive suffering, when recalling old memories many years later.
