The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, PhD.

[H-KQGE]

A well-written summary, truth seeker. I enjoyed reading it. I have not read the book. Reading the description of the HSP, the impression I got was that they tend to acquire more sensory information from the environment than others. Sometimes the incoming information is more than what a HSP can process adequately with their thinking and feeling (evaluative) functions - so there is a sort of information overload which drives behavioral coping mechanisms like withdrawal. Does that sound right?

Speaking only for myself, that can definitely be the case at times. What seems to happen, as I understand it, is that HSPs need more time to process the information coming in, so it's not necessarily a withdrawal in terms of shutting oneself away (although if the person is unaware of their situation, it can be) but rather can be a time to regain one's equilibrium.

The same is true for me too. From my teens to mid-twenties I was very much unaware of this processing. I had heard the usual tales of individuals being shy, reclusive & so on, & without any other reference points I just accepted that this was me & I was defective in some way. As I got older & more accustomed to repeating social scenarios I became incrementally, more aware by analyzing details. These details seemed extraneous to others (as I judged it to be) & after getting "burned" a few times - after gentle probing questions to people - I became more guarded, which actually propelled me to scrutinize everything in a more conscious way. It took an age to comprehend that I needed more time to process the information coming to me, information that was normal for others was generally painful & I needed a temporary retreat from lights (bright) & sounds (loud & sudden) in general.

Seeing how some non-HSPs responded by joking about some of these traits made me restrict social interactions. By that I mean that some people who may or may not have been be HSPs exhibiting one ore more traits would be mocked & those doing the mocking would deliberately do things that clearly instilled fear in those being mocked. Young or old, male or female, this would be repeated. I think people here can think of examples where difference isn't really tolerated. But with study as I grew older, I knew when to retreat, avoid, people & places. Much was predictable to me, although I didn't always evaluate these things verbally or mentally as I was pretty much unsure of even the things I knew. (that'll be the narcissistic wounding) I would usually act instinctively & by the time I understood (more or less) intuition, I also understood that I had been utilizing it a lot, yet trying to dismiss it.

I'm not sure if HSPs tend to acquire more sensory information than non HSPs or if it's that HSPs perceive the same information everyone else "gets" differently. So an example is those stores that only sell scented candles. I find those a bit overwhelming but non HSPs may be able to go in. We are both aware of the smell, but perceive it differently. What might be interesting to find out is if those who don't feel bothered by the sensory information still experience the effects of it. Using the scented candle example above, maybe they are fine with the smell, yet later on get a headache or feel drained. Maybe HSPs are sort of a canary in the coal mine in a sense (no pun intended).

I feel strongly that this is so. It might be possible for an HSP to acquire more sensory information in some way but I think that they could quickly overload. The literature on this shows that HSPs get overwhelmed easily & I can attest to that. In fact, it was easier for me in my youth to not necessarily get overwhelmed, but be on the edge of being so. One strong reaction would set up a chain reaction of tension "the sweats" & fatigue for instance. Only through this network have I been able to seriously mitigate the effects but my adult life has been punctuated by this. I really go loopy over bad smells, it's like I'm being drowned in them even if it's from a small area, ridiculously, my olfactory sense isn't even great! Freshly cut grass is overwhelming now when in youth I sort of liked it.

Thanks for posting this truthseeker, it is much appreciated. I scored high on the self-test as well. This below was what resonated with me the most:

[quote author=truthseeker]
5. Social Relationships: The Slide into "Shy"
HSPs can consider themselves shy due to being told so by those who don't understand the trait. Aron instead uses the term 'social discomfort' which I also think is more accurate. Because HSPs can feel overwhelmed in social situations, this discomfort can often and incorrectly be interpreted as shyness.

She clarifies that while HSPs may seem unsociable, they are not. What happens it that they have a heightened awareness of information in it's various forms (sound, sight, etc), they can have greater difficulty navigating the same situations (parties, large crowds, etc) that many others find enjoyable. Instead HSPs in general, tend to prefer smaller groups and have a few close knit friends.

What's also interesting is that she makes the distinction between introversion and HSPs. While 70% of HSPs are considered introverted, I don't think this holds true for every HSP.

She cites Jung's philosophy and gives advice on how to navigate social situations, relationships and developing social skills.

I am shy and for being assertive takes enormous amounts of inner energy. Mind you the assertiveness issue could also be due to a number of other factors (be-nice programs, turn the other cheek, narcissistic wounding and boundary issues etc). Public speaking is trying as well, but less so if I am passionate about the topic (it is an art form, or so I think). So the question I have is this- in regards to the Work (which I am very new at, and have not read all the books), is shyness a hallmark of self-importance? In another thread somewhere (or perhaps it was the Knowledge and Being videos), it was mentioned that how people react to being asked to participate in Karaoke could be a gauge for determining their own self-importance. I would be mortified at having to sing (which I do badly to begin with) and especially in a room full of people I don't know. It would be externally considerate for all involved Not to hear me sing! ;D
[/quote]

Those bolded: yeah I hear that! I'm also quietly spoken as well. I wasn't aware that it was an issue until it was pointed out to me on numerous occasions. "I can't hear you", "speak up!" people would say so I'm constantly projecting my voice, this feels artificial to me & I don't want to come across as fake to anyone. I've been around plenty of fake people, I don't want to add to it. Funnily enough normal public speaking I loathe, yet when I was involved in dance music (ages ago) I was regularly on the microphone. And in large gatherings too. But music affects me more than anyone I've ever met & I can barely control my desire to sing or rap or start dancing - even in front of strangers. When I was performing I had the view that it was professional, so I had to curb the urge to dance & just deliver my lines near perfect, judge the response of the crowd & if people were enjoying themselves, I'd done a good job - relief! Things like that bugged me for the longest time, I liked people, I was sociable, yet I didn't, & I wanted to be left alone. Fortunately I can still carry a tune so karaoke-wise I'd just belt out some greatest hits!


Note: just saw Shijing's great post.

 

[obyvatel]

I'm not sure if HSPs tend to acquire more sensory information than non HSPs or if it's that HSPs perceive the same information everyone else "gets" differently. So an example is those stores that only sell scented candles. I find those a bit overwhelming but non HSPs may be able to go in. We are both aware of the smell, but perceive it differently. What might be interesting to find out is if those who don't feel bothered by the sensory information still experience the effects of it. Using the scented candle example above, maybe they are fine with the smell, yet later on get a headache or feel drained. Maybe HSPs are sort of a canary in the coal mine in a sense (no pun intended).

I feel strongly that this is so. It might be possible for an HSP to acquire more sensory information in some way but I think that they could quickly overload. The literature on this shows that HSPs get overwhelmed easily & I can attest to that. In fact, it was easier for me in my youth to not necessarily get overwhelmed, but be on the edge of being so. One strong reaction would set up a chain reaction of tension "the sweats" & fatigue for instance. Only through this network have I been able to seriously mitigate the effects but my adult life has been punctuated by this. I really go loopy over bad smells, it's like I'm being drowned in them even if it's from a small area, ridiculously, my olfactory sense isn't even great! Freshly cut grass is overwhelming now when in youth I sort of liked it.

It is interesting that both of you picked examples of smell as an overwhelming factor. Our sense of smell differs from all our other senses in that the olfactory pathway in the brain bypasses the thalamus (which is believed to process and relay sensory information) and goes straight to the limbic system, which is the seat of emotions. Smells, feelings and memories are said to be closely linked. Smell memories are quite resilient and the early association made between a smell and a feeling have greater weight than later associations. So when one is overwhelmed by a smell, a lot could be going on unconsciously.

It seems that what Jung termed as the function of intuition is overactive. In Jungian psychology, the function of sensation attends to sensory stimuli while the function of intuition which "sees possibilities inherent in any situation" is related to the perception of the unconscious. This function is also related to creativity and imagination.

This is another point that seems rather important to me -- it does seem accurate. To the extent that any of us are actually aware of multiple probabilities -- and I don't think it has to all be related to past experience -- this is likely to cause overload for the HSP. I think that there are at least two potential reactions to it: either to get bogged down and freeze up in the way that Aron seems to be describing, or to learn to ignore it, which can lead almost to a certain kind of impulsiveness because one is choosing to ignore all possibilities and make decisions using a different modality of cognition. Either strategy will appear limited or defective to an observer who doesn't happen to struggle with the same sense of overwhelm resulting from these juncture points with multiple inherent possibilities.

HSPs appear to have low latent inhibition (LI). LI is a cognitive inhibitory mechanism which allows us to disregard stimuli considered to be irrelevant to the object of focus or the task at hand. Low LI implies that a lot of information is not pre-categorized as irrelevant (which happens unconsciously) and so more information is brought up for processing. It appears that low LI is a double-edged sword. Creative people can utilize this greater amount of information available to them and process this information for breaking new ground. It also has the potential of overwhelming the individual and result in psychological disturbances and even disorders in extreme cases. This is very much in line with Dabrowski's research and practical work on people with over-excitabilities which is often accompanied by psycho-neuroses.

 

[shijing]

HSPs appear to have low latent inhibition (LI). LI is a cognitive inhibitory mechanism which allows us to disregard stimuli considered to be irrelevant to the object of focus or the task at hand. Low LI implies that a lot of information is not pre-categorized as irrelevant (which happens unconsciously) and so more information is brought up for processing. It appears that low LI is a double-edged sword. Creative people can utilize this greater amount of information available to them and process this information for breaking new ground. It also has the potential of overwhelming the individual and result in psychological disturbances and even disorders in extreme cases. This is very much in line with Dabrowski's research and practical work on people with over-excitabilities which is often accompanied by psycho-neuroses.

I think this is quite true, and this quote which truthseeker posted on the previous page is relevant:

In general, anything that has been our particular specialty has to be balanced by it's opposite, what we are bad at or afraid of trying. One polarity Jungians talk about is the two ways of taking in information, through sensation (just the facts) or intuition (the subtle meanings of the facts). Another polarity is the two ways of deciding about the information we take in, through thinking (based on logic or what appears to be universally true) or feelings (based on personal experience and what appears to be good for ourselves and others we care about).

We each have out specialty from among these four "functions" - sensing, intuiting, thinking and feeling. For HSPs it is often intuition. (Thinking and feeling are both common among HSPs.) However, if you are introverted as are 70 percent of HSPs - you use your specialty mainly in your inner life.

While there are tests designed to tell you which is your specialty, Jung thought we could learn more from careful observation of which function we are worst at {objective feedback from a network can also help with this}. This is the function that regularly humiliates us. Do you feel like a rank amateur when you want to think logically? Or when you have to decide how you personally feel about something? Or when you need to intuit what is going on at a subtle level? Or when you must stick to the facts and details without elaborating, getting creative, or going off into imaginary realms?

No one becomes equally skilled at using all four functions. But according to Marie_louise von Franz, who wrote a long paper on the development of the "inferior function," working to strengthen this weak and bumbling part of ourselves is an especially valuable path toward wholeness. It puts us in touch with what is buried in the unconscious and therefore make us more in tune with all of it. Like the youngest, most foolish brother in the fairy tales, this function is the one that comes home with the gold.

If you are an intuitive type, (more likely for HSPs), your inferior function would be sensing - sticking to the facts, dealing with the details. Limits in the sensing function show themselves in individualized ways.

The situation is analogous in a way to the concept of "shamanic genes" -- according to the Cs, if you feed them correctly, it is possible to develop certain innate traits is a way that will be beneficial not only to the individual, but also to the wider community in which that individual is embedded. Feed them incorrectly, and the person can become schizophrenic, a situation in which those traits are still being expressed but in a distorted and unhealthy way, detrimental to both the individual and the community.

Gurdjieff's three kinds of sustenance -- food, air, and impressions -- probably hint at the various ways in which this needs to happen. The body needs to be tended to with proper, individually appropriate nutrition (which will positively enable epigenetic mechanisms); the emotions need to be cared for through proper breathing, meditation, stress management, and self-compassion; the intellect needs to be tended through the continuous input of information based in objective truth. In concert with the appropriate level of sheer willpower and the support of a knowledgable, vigilant and caring community, things will proceed in the right direction; acting in contradiction to these principles in one or more ways will result in imbalance or, ultimately, a complete downward spiral.

I'm hoping this thread provides a good forum for those members who identify as HSPs to be able to share and enjoy some validation, since as Elaine Aron argues, society is stacked against the HSP temperament in a number of ways. One of the things I've been learning recently via the health issues I've been dealing with is that individual genetic make-up and biochemistry are extremely important to take into account when learning how to correctly treat an individual. It's easy for all of us to fall into the "one size fits all" trap, where if something works for us, we assume it should work for everyone, but it's important to remember this isn't true.

I think this is applicable to HSPs in terms of temperament -- people have different inherent thresholds of sensitivity and different modalities in terms of metabolizing sensory input. Perhaps this implies different Work requirements in some ways, or at least different ways of looking at them -- one example being the bolded parts in the quote above.

 

[EmeraldHope]

Truthseeker, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your posting this review. I too had seen it mentioned before but never read it.


One thing that really has helped me from this book was the description of babies and young children that are highly sensitive. It also asks you to recall or ask family members for descriptions of you. I have a lot of "mother" issues I have been working through, and one thing I have never been able to resolve was that for all practical purposes, based on my mother's and other family members description of me as a baby- I was very difficult and hypersensitive and reactive BEFORE my large trauma event at 18 months. My mom used to always say " Satan's spawn" , " Rosemary's baby" " "Child from hell", etc. My Nana would tell you- " scared of new people, cried when put into the tub, cried when taken out, didn't like loud noises, vivid imagination, always asks why, fussy- things like that,


I literally had meltdowns on the playground - too much noise. Cry baby, overly sensitive, and even dramatic were pretty common names I got called. I never liked school or groups either for much of the same reasons except for quiet time activities , study, and art. I spent a lot of time alone as a kid or one on one with quieter type children. I read very early- before kindergarten, and before that memorized those books on records before I was three. It " looked" like I was reading but really just knew them by heart. My family used to have me perform that parlor trick at dinner parties.


Even as an adult, where I have been very good at sales, it is all on the phone in a quiet atmosphere, I have never been good with the in person type as it takes so long to recover and regroup. Certain people, smells, and places make me literally psychically sick. I always tried to overcompensate as a teeneager and later by being very outgoing, but would still need a lot of down/alone time to recoup.


I will also order Dabrowski's books. All I have read from him has been here or other excerpts, but I think I need the actual books.


Big , big hug for starting this thread.

 

[truth seeker]

If y'all liked HSP, you should also check out Dabrowski's stuff. He goes into more detail on the types of 'overexcitabilities' that contribute to developmental potential.

I'm not sure if this is helpful, but here's some of what Aron has to say regarding Dabrowski:

Dabrowski’s High Excitabilities

One reason giftedness has been equated with sensitivity is the work of Kazimierz Dabrowski, who developed a “Theory of Positive Disintegration” to describe gifted persons. In brief, he thought that personality disintegrations, as he called them, are due to inner conflicts. These are often mislabeled as psychoneuroses or other mental illness, but in fact are necessary to synthesize contradictions and achieve higher stages of development. (He did think there were genuine mental problems, however–not all neurotics are simply on their way to their higher potential.)

In his opinion, people with certain “excitabilities”are more likely to experience these conflicts and hence are seen as more disturbed, and their traits seen as “excessive,” when in fact they are born with more “developmental potential.” He described five of these supposedly excessive excitabilities. HSPs will recognize them:
1. Psychomotor. There is an excess of energy, either physically or mentally. The physical type leads to a love of movement, fidgeting, impulsiveness, restlessness, and distractability, which is not very typical of most HSPs, although true of some. But rapid thought sounds very much like an HSP, and rapid speech as well, when they are in a safe situation for sharing their ideas.
2. Sensual. They have a heightened sensory awareness. We know all about that.
3. Imaginational. Vivid imagery, dreams, metaphors, fantasies. Creative in a poetic way.
4. Intellectual. Passionate about knowledge, either about gathering evidence and data or thinking theoretically. They are independent in their thinking. This is not so much the ability to solve a problem as loving to do so.
5. Emotional. We know this one, too–I wrote about it in the last newsletter.

These five do sound exactly like five facets of being highly sensitive. And at least one study (by Cheryl M. Ackerman, Roeper Review, June 1997). has found a correlation between these five and giftedness in adolescents. And thus, if these are the hallmarks of gifted persons, HSPs are gifted, for certain. They are the same concept. But when I first looked at Dabrowski’s work, while I was studying anything relevant to sensitivity, I declined to pursue the equating of sensitivity with giftedness. Or did I?

_http://www.hsperson.com/pages/3Nov04.htm

This thread also has a lot of good info and links:

http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,883.msg4626.html#msg4626

I am shy and for being assertive takes enormous amounts of inner energy. Mind you the assertiveness issue could also be due to a number of other factors (be-nice programs, turn the other cheek, narcissistic wounding and boundary issues etc). Public speaking is trying as well, but less so if I am passionate about the topic (it is an art form, or so I think). So the question I have is this- in regards to the Work (which I am very new at, and have not read all the books), is shyness a hallmark of self-importance? In another thread somewhere (or perhaps it was the Knowledge and Being videos), it was mentioned that how people react to being asked to participate in Karaoke could be a gauge for determining their own self-importance. I would be mortified at having to sing (which I do badly to begin with) and especially in a room full of people I don't know. It would be externally considerate for all involved Not to hear me sing! ;D

I'm not sure if it's a 'hallmark' but I currently think that shyness, if we're speaking in terms of embarrassment, can have a good deal to do with self importance. However, if someone is basically 'looking before leaping' and their hesitation is interpreted as shy by others or they're experiencing social discomfort because there is too much sensory information they're aware of, then I don't think so because their concerns may be valid in the former or they may be overwhelmed in the latter. I could be off on this.

In the example regarding karaoke, perhaps what we're really talking about is embarrassment or the reaction due to having been Seen. Maybe one question might be, what is it that we don't want others to see about ourselves? What is it about ourselves that we have not accepted that we think others will find unacceptable as well?

I also score very high on the HSP self-evaluation, and coming across this information was very liberating for me as well. It makes sense of a lot of my childhood experience up through the present, and I really want to go back and give my younger self a big hug. There were many instances when I reacted in certain ways to situations that most other kids didn't and was teased and laughed at for it -- in one case, my mom was even bullied by another mother (!) because she was afraid I was going to "rub off" on her son.

That really stinks, I'm sorry you and your mother went through that.

I also thought about this when I read this story on SOTT a couple weeks ago:

Verbal, physical abuse have similar affects on children

Although overt verbal abuse is not appropriate in any situation, it's nevertheless accepted more than physical abuse because it's not as overt; I think that HSPs will react strongly to this, and that there will be a perceived level of abuse that might not occur in the case of a non-HSP (at least not as traumatically).

I agree. As a child, I had a pretty strong sense of injustice. I was also the really quiet kid who really only needed to be told something once, because I would take it to heart or internalize it. Luckily, I had parents who were neither verbally or physically abusive.

It is interesting that both of you picked examples of smell as an overwhelming factor. Our sense of smell differs from all our other senses in that the olfactory pathway in the brain bypasses the thalamus (which is believed to process and relay sensory information) and goes straight to the limbic system, which is the seat of emotions. Smells, feelings and memories are said to be closely linked. Smell memories are quite resilient and the early association made between a smell and a feeling have greater weight than later associations. So when one is overwhelmed by a smell, a lot could be going on unconsciously.

The reason I picked sense of smell and that example in particular is because I felt that it was the 'best' way that I could explain what happens in a way that most people reading could relate to. If I had to say which sense(s) seem to affect me most, I'd say sound and sight. When I describe colors, I can try to be pretty precise. Smell is a strange thing, though. While I really dislike some chemical/artificial smells, I've known people who've been bothered by odors that I didn't perceive, so that's kind of interesting.

 

[mabar]

Thanks truth seeker, I have the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, PhD. As the first book to buy, whenever I might be able, perhaps soon. This summary had helped me to understand better, I think? … I mean, ever I remember people had complain (?) whenever I was being shy or high sensitive person, is curious to observe that being a HSP may be not that wrong.
Although, at the same time it confuses me, I have or had developed the idea that we/I need to overcome difficulties, being shy one of those, and still is, though. On the other hand, HSP ---of course, had not read the book, but hmm …. One can overcome being HSP? or is one of those characteristics that do not change, like having green eyes.

From the test, I checked all. Perhaps not from the caffeine one since I do not drink coffee anymore, but it used to affect me in the past.

…the question I have is this- in regards to the Work (which I am very new at, and have not read all the books), is shyness a hallmark of self-importance? In another thread somewhere (or perhaps it was the Knowledge and Being videos), it was mentioned that how people react to being asked to participate in Karaoke could be a gauge for determining their own self-importance. I would be mortified at having to sing (which I do badly to begin with) and especially in a room full of people I don't know. It would be externally considerate for all involved Not to hear me sing! ;D

I'm not sure if it's a 'hallmark' but I currently think that shyness, if we're speaking in terms of embarrassment, can have a good deal to do with self importance. However, if someone is basically 'looking before leaping' and their hesitation is interpreted as shy by others or they're experiencing social discomfort because there is too much sensory information they're aware of, then I don't think so because their concerns may be valid in the former or they may be overwhelmed in the latter. I could be off on this.

In the example regarding karaoke, perhaps what we're really talking about is embarrassment or the reaction due to having been Seen. Maybe one question might be, what is it that we don't want others to see about ourselves? What is it about ourselves that we have not accepted that we think others will find unacceptable as well?

Those questions may apply to me too, would those questions could apply to someone that does not want to jump from the bungee too?

Why we have to come to the embarrassment issue? in my case, of course is/would be embarrassment!!, Why other people can't accept that there are people who sing and there are people who listen? Of course I do not want to be seen singing in public -known or not known- people. I know I sing horrible. So, I do not sing in karaoke either, if it is self-importance, to bad to me then, I suppose that wrongly past experiences do not help, to the point to leave the reunion due the insistence, that had come along with other not so nice comments due to my negation. Why the insistence or coercive invitation from others would/can be considered as "good" and our choice of not doing it as "bad"?. Is like if I would insist other people to jump from the bungee. And certainly, would not do it because I know there are people who fear heights. From my point of view, not everyone should/must enjoy the same.

This bad experiences had been come along with dancing and drinking alcohol, it was so wrongly felt doing it, while/due being pushed. I suppose I do not longer want to feel that again. Nowadays, I like to dance, not every kind of dances, though. And do not drink alcohol if I do not want it, do not care anymore what other people might think.


Thanks other for their comments/links as well.

 

[truth seeker]

Thanks truth seeker, I have the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, PhD. As the first book to buy, whenever I might be able, perhaps soon. This summary had helped me to understand better, I think? … I mean, ever I remember people had complain (?) whenever I was being shy or high sensitive person, is curious to observe that being a HSP may be not that wrong.

I'll devote more time to replying to your post and others later because I need to get ready for work but just wanted to clarify something. Being shy and being an HSP are two different things. People who are not HSP can misinterpret the behaviors of HSPs as shyness when it is not. What I was attempting to do in my reply Arwenn's post is to clarify what she may have meant when she used the word shy. When she used the word in the context of performing in front of others, it seemed to me that she may have been referring to embarrassment.

What the book is about is sensory perception - how different people perceive information through their senses (sight, sound, etc) and how those individuals are more sensitive to their environment. Hope that makes sense.

 

[mabar]

Thanks truth seeker, I have the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, PhD. As the first book to buy, whenever I might be able, perhaps soon. This summary had helped me to understand better, I think? … I mean, ever I remember people had complain (?) whenever I was being shy or high sensitive person, is curious to observe that being a HSP may be not that wrong.

I'll devote more time to replying to your post and others later because I need to get ready for work but just wanted to clarify something. Being shy and being an HSP are two different things. People who are not HSP can misinterpret the behaviors of HSPs as shyness when it is not. What I was attempting to do in my reply Arwenn's post is to clarify what she may have meant when she used the word shy. When she used the word in the context of performing in front of others, it seemed to me that she may have been referring to embarrassment.

What the book is about is sensory perception - how different people perceive information through their senses (sight, sound, etc) and how those individuals are more sensitive to their environment. Hope that makes sense.

Thanks, I need to elaborate more ... my doubts (?), how my personality is been perceive by others and how I perceive my personality, there is also the self theory I read in Strangers to Ourselves, how percentage I used to be in the past to how percentage I'm in the present in whenever certain circumstances. but not know.

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

If y'all liked HSP, you should also check out Dabrowski's stuff. He goes into more detail on the types of 'overexcitabilities' that contribute to developmental potential.

This is the first thing that came to mind reading the summary as well.

And thus, if these are the hallmarks of gifted persons, HSPs are gifted, for certain. They are the same concept. But when I first looked at Dabrowski’s work, while I was studying anything relevant to sensitivity, I declined to pursue the equating of sensitivity with giftedness. Or did I?

So Aron admits that overexcitabilities are the same thing as HSP.

It would make sense that people who have a taste for truth, for trying to see the world as it really is are HSP and/or present signs of overexcitability as described by Dabrowski. So we'll probably be quite a few here on the forum to recognize ourselves in the 'symptoms', I guess.

 

[trendsetter37]

Thanks for posting this truthseeker. I have never really heard of this before but after taking the test and reflecting on some of the “quirks” i’ve experienced or noticed within myself throughout my life, I tend to think that I maybe somewhere on the spectrum nearing hsp. However, I find myself rationalizing a lot of what I feel internally, pertaining to what is chronicled in your synopsis, with other explanations that don’t always make sense to me without the context of hsp.

Most of them being things that I pretty much thought everyone experienced but didn’t really talk about or that I was sensitive (i was tagged with the latter throughout elementary and middle school).. One thing that threw me off initially (until I read further down) is that I was never really perceived as being shy. Quiet at times but not shy.

I think I will look into Aron and Dabrowski’s work as this is certainly something I am interested in investigating. Would it be useful if some who scored high (or low i guess) on the test to share some of their experiences or (cringe) symptoms that could point to hsp in this thread?

Or would that we considered noise as most of the details are outlined in the book?

 

[truth seeker]

I think I will look into Aron and Dabrowski’s work as this is certainly something I am interested in investigating. Would it be useful if some who scored high (or low i guess) on the test to share some of their experiences or (cringe) symptoms that could point to hsp in this thread?

I think that's a really good idea! The experiences of others may help in healing for some and better clarify for any who feel they need it but are hesitant to ask. Thanks, trendsetter. :)

 

[obyvatel]

Added some info on Dabrowski's overexcitabilities here .

 

[Gwenllian]

A bit more about the book that I found here:

_http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Elaine-N-Aron/9780553062182?b=-3&t=-26#Bibliographicdata-26

Cry baby! ;Scaredy-cat! ;Don't be a spoilsport!; Echoes from the past? And how about this well-meaning warning: You're just too sensitive for your own good. If you were like me, you heard a lot of that, and it made you feel there must be something very different about you. I was convinced that I had a fatal flaw that I had to hide and that doomed me to a second-rate life. I thought there was something wrong with me. In fact, there is something very right with you and me. If you answer true to fourteen or more of the questions on the self-test at the end of this preface, or if the detailed description in chapter 1 seems to fit you (really the best test), then you are a very special type of human being, a highly sensitive person--which hereafter we'll call an HSP. And this book is just for you. Having a sensitive nervous system is normal, a basically neutral trait. You probably inherited it. It occurs in about 15-20 percent of the population. It means you are aware of subtleties in your surroundings, a great advantage in many situations. It also means you are more easily overwhelmed when you have been out in a highly stimulating environment for too long, bombarded by sights and sounds until you are exhausted in a nervous-system sort of way. Thus, being sensitive has both advantages and disadvantages. In our culture, however, possessing this trait is not considered ideal and that fact probably has had a major impact on you. Well-meaning parents and teachers probably tried to help you overcome it, as if it were a defect. Other children were not always as nice about it. As an adult, it has probably been harder to find the right career and relationships and generally to feel self-worth and self-confidence. What This Book Offers You This book provides basic, detailed information you need about your trait, data that exist nowhere else. It is the product of five years of research, in-depth interviews, clinical experience, courses and individual consultations with hundreds of HSPs, and careful reading between the lines of what psychology has already learned about the trait but does not realize it knows. In the first three chapters you will learn all the basic facts about your trait and how to handle overstimulation and overarousal of your nervous system. Next, this book considers the impact of your sensitivity on your personal history, career, relationships, and inner life. It focuses on the advantages you may not have thought of, plus it gives advice about typical problems some HSPs face, such as shyness or difficulty finding the right sort of work. It is quite a journey we'll take. Most of the HSPs I've helped with the information that is in this book have told me that it has dramatically changed their lives--and they've told me to tell you that. What You'll Need I have found that HSPs benefit from a fourfold approach, which the chapters in this book will follow. 1. Self-knowledge. You have to understand what it means to be an HSP. Thoroughly. And how it fits with your other traits and how your society's negative attitude has affected you. Then you need to know your sensitive body very well. No more ignoring your body because it seems too uncooperative or weak. 2. Reframing. You must actively reframe much of your past in the light of knowing you came into the world highly sensitive. So many of your "failures" were inevitable because neither you nor your parents and teachers, friends and colleagues, understood you. Reframing how you experienced your past can lead to solid self-esteem, and self-esteem is especially important for HSPs, for it decreases our overarousal in new (and therefore highly stimulating) situations. Reframing is not automatic, however. That is why I include "activities" at the end of each chapter that often involve it. 3. Healing. If you have not yet done so, you must begin to heal the deeper wounds. You were very sensitive as a child; family and school problems, childhood illnesses, and the like all affected you more than others. Furthermore, you were different from other kids and almost surely suffered for that. HSPs especially, sensing the intense feelings that must arise, may hold back from the inner work necessary to heal the wounds from the past. Caution and slowness are justified. But you will cheat yourself if you delay. 4. Help With Feeling Okay When Out in the World and Learning When to Be Less Out. You can be, should be, and need to be involved in the world. It truly needs you. But you have to be skilled at avoiding overdoing or underdoing it. This book, free of the confusing messages from a less sensitive culture, is about discovering that way. I will also teach you about your trait's effect on your close relationships. And I'll discuss psychotherapy and HSPs--which HSPs should be in therapy and why, what kind, with whom, and especially how therapy differs for HSPs. Then I'll consider HSPs and medical care, including plenty of information on medications like Prozac, often taken by HSPs. At the end of this book we will savor our rich inner life. The Research Behind This Book As knowledge about my trait changed my life, I decided to read more about it, but there was almost nothing available. I thought the closest topic might be introversion. The psychiatrist Carl Jung wrote very wisely on the subject, calling it a tendency to turn inward. The work of Jung, himself an HSP, has been a major help to me, but the more scientific work on introversion was focused on introverts not being sociable, and it was that idea which made me wonder if introversion and sensitivity were being wrongly equated. With so little information to go on, I decided to put a notice in a newsletter that went to the staff of the university where I was teaching at the time. I asked to interview anyone who felt they were highly sensitive to stimulation, introverted, or quick to react emotionally. Soon I had more volunteers than I needed. Next, the local paper did a story on the research. Even though there was nothing said in the article about how to reach me, over a hundred people phoned and wrote me, thanking me, wanting help, or just wanting to say, Me, too. Two years later, people were still contacting me. (HSPs sometimes think things over for a while before making their move!) Based on the interviews (forty for two to three hours each), I designed a questionnaire that I have distributed to thousands all over North America. And I directed a random-dialing telephone survey of three hundred people as well. The point that matters for you is that everything in this book is based on solid research, my own or that of others. Or I am speaking from my repeated observations of HSPs, from my courses, conversations, individual consultations, and psychotherapy with them. These opportunities to explore the personal lives of HSPs have numbered in the thousands. Even so, I will say probably and maybe more than you are used to in books for the general reader, but I think HSPs appreciate that. Deciding to do all of this research, writing, and teaching has made me a kind of pioneer. But that, too, is part of being an HSP. We are often the first ones to see what needs to be done. As our confidence in our virtues grows, perhaps more and more of us will speak up--in our sensitive way. Instructions to the Reader 1. Again, I address the reader as an HSP, but this book is written equally for someone seeking to understand HSPs, whether as a friend, relative, advisor, employer, educator, or health professional. 2. This book involves seeing yourself as having a trait common to many. That is, it labels you. The advantages are that you can feel normal and benefit from the experience and research of others. But any label misses your uniqueness. HSPs are each utterly different, even with their common trait. Please remind yourself of that as you proceed. 3. While you are reading this book, you will probably see everything in your life in light of being highly sensitive. That is to be expected. In fact, it is exactly the idea. Total immersion helps with learning any new language, including a new way of talking about yourself. If others feel a little concerned, left out, or annoyed, ask for their patience. There will come a day when the concept will settle in and you'll be talking about it less. 4. This book includes some activities which I have found useful for HSPs. But I'm not going to say that you must do them if you want to gain anything from this book. Trust your HSP intuition and do what feels right. 5. Any of the activities could bring up strong feelings. If that happens, I do urge you to seek professional help. If you are now in therapy, this book should fit well with your work there. The ideas here might even shorten the time you will need therapy as you envision a new ideal self--not the culture's ideal but your own, someone you can be and maybe already are. But remember that this book does not substitute for a good therapist when things get intense or confusing. This is an exciting moment for me as I imagine you turning the page and entering into this new world of mine, of yours, of ours. After thinking for so long that you might be the only one, it is nice to have company, isn't it?

Thank you truthseeker! This topic has been on my mind these past few months, especially because I have come to the conclusion that my youngest is probably highly sensitive and so am I, OSIT. I will definitely order the book about the highly sensitive child.
I didn't know how to handle my youngest who just wants to be left alone and who doesn't like to meet many people or go to town for instance. So, I just let him be, although that was hard at times. But I am sure that these books will help me deal with this in a more appropriate way and I have already seen changes in my son which give me faith.
When he was a baby and toddler I had to remove the labels in his clothes, because he couldn't stand them against his skin. He still only wears trousers made of a very soft fabric and the same goes for his t-shirts. He also picked up very quickly when my voice sounded angry for instance, even before I realised this was the case. Time and time again he told me when this happened, as he couldn't stand it.
All this is becoming clearer and clearer. So a big thank you to you all for contributing to this thread and for expanding my horizon.

 

[whitecoast]

This looks like an excellent read. :) I'll add it to the list.

 

[truth seeker]

Why we have to come to the embarrassment issue? in my case, of course is/would be embarrassment!!, Why other people can't accept that there are people who sing and there are people who listen? Of course I do not want to be seen singing in public -known or not known- people. I know I sing horrible. So, I do not sing in karaoke either, if it is self-importance, to bad to me then, I suppose that wrongly past experiences do not help, to the point to leave the reunion due the insistence, that had come along with other not so nice comments due to my negation. Why the insistence or coercive invitation from others would/can be considered as "good" and our choice of not doing it as "bad"?. Is like if I would insist other people to jump from the bungee. And certainly, would not do it because I know there are people who fear heights. From my point of view, not everyone should/must enjoy the same.

Hey mabar,

I just wanted to finish my reply to you.

I gave this some thought and although I would probably not 'enjoy' singing in public, I think the reason that karaoke is used as a gauge is precisely because it's an activity that 'pushes one's buttons' so to speak. In other words, it's a 'good' way to measure one's self importance since so many people dislike doing it. I guess it can also be a way to measure how much or how little one takes themselves. So whether someone 'thinks' they can sing or not is probably not the point.

edit: clarity