The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, PhD.

[mabar]

Why we have to come to the embarrassment issue? in my case, of course is/would be embarrassment!!, Why other people can't accept that there are people who sing and there are people who listen? Of course I do not want to be seen singing in public -known or not known- people. I know I sing horrible. So, I do not sing in karaoke either, if it is self-importance, to bad to me then, I suppose that wrongly past experiences do not help, to the point to leave the reunion due the insistence, that had come along with other not so nice comments due to my negation. Why the insistence or coercive invitation from others would/can be considered as "good" and our choice of not doing it as "bad"?. Is like if I would insist other people to jump from the bungee. And certainly, would not do it because I know there are people who fear heights. From my point of view, not everyone should/must enjoy the same.

Hey mabar,

I just wanted to finish my reply to you.

I gave this some thought and although I would probably not 'enjoy' singing in public, I think the reason that karaoke is used as a gauge is precisely because it's an activity that 'pushes one's buttons' so to speak. In other words, it's a 'good' way to measure one's self importance since so many people dislike doing it. I guess it can also be a way to measure how much or how little one takes themselves. So whether someone 'thinks' they can sing or not is probably not the point.

edit: clarity

Certainly, in my case the karaoke, triggered all self importance, self criticize near to the self gossip, related to evaluations, feeling observed buttons. I had been able to pass other uncomfortabilites like dancing, but not with singing, when I was being a kid, there was this kid's dancing/singing group, and I felt obliged to be part of because, they –other girls from the block wanted to be complete, we used to do our show in whatever reunion/party with adults, I left the other girls being the stars of the show, I remember an uncle yelling me to sing Lauder every time, couldn't/didn't do it. With time and other friends from high-school and university I began to dance by my choice, but not the singing part.

Talk in public, I had done and it does not seems to be that problematic. I'm not sure if that kid's group was the traumatic experience from the past that may have triggered my aversion to sing with public or would be another experience, because I tend to sing sometimes being alone, and sometimes people had told me they had heard it, and I do not feel bad, and had been kept singing, like in the shower or before doing EE. Of course, always trying not to be heard, not successfully it seems.

I suppose, best remedy would be singing in public, isn't it?, One/me should be brave ... but, I think I prefer to dive head first from whatever height, I was not able to do it neither ever…. On the contrary, if it is chosen the platform of 10 meters, I think I would prefer to sing, though. I suppose it would depend on the level of disliking in question. Too bad is for the purpose of an “evaluation”, it would be better to take it off forever.

That is one of the doubts I have with Highly Sensitive Person, how high/much is high/much, but I suppose that until I read the book.
Thanks.

 

[Arwenn]

I've just caught up on this thread since my last post here. I need to think about this a bit more before I elaborate on the shyness vs embarrassment/self-importance issue.

[quote author=truth seeker]
I agree. As a child, I had a pretty strong sense of injustice. I was also the really quiet kid who really only needed to be told something once, because I would take it to heart or internalize it. [/quote]

Yup, that was me as a child. To be scolded or chided too severely would hurt me in the depths of my soul (or so it seemed to me).

 

[luc]

I think I will look into Aron and Dabrowski’s work as this is certainly something I am interested in investigating. Would it be useful if some who scored high (or low i guess) on the test to share some of their experiences or (cringe) symptoms that could point to hsp in this thread?

I think that's a really good idea! The experiences of others may help in healing for some and better clarify for any who feel they need it but are hesitant to ask. Thanks, trendsetter. :)

Okay, I'm not through yet with the book, but I'd like to share some observations about myself.

I scored high on the self-test. However, there were some contradictions - some of the questions don't apply to me at all, and to others I would respond differently now than in the past. In the hope that it may be helpful for others who are not sure about the self-test, here are a few thoughts that I had about this while reading the book.

Basically, I found three things that I think "interfere" with the "diagnosis" or definition of the HSP for me personally:

1. Different types of HSPs

As Aron points out, there may be different "flavors" of HSPs, not all fall in the stereotype category "totally shy, quiet, conscientious etc.". She makes the distinction between the "pause-to-check system" and the "activation system", the former being the hallmark and defining factor of the HSP. It is the system which "inhibits" us, gets an internal dialogue going, puts us in the "be careful, think"-mode as opposed to the "act now" mode. But there may be different configurations in various types of HSPs. As she writes:

This two-system explanation of sensitivity also suggests two different types of HSPs. Some might have only an average-strength pause-to-check system but an activation system that is even weaker. This kind of HSP might be very calm, quiet and content with a simple life.
...
Another kind of HSP could potentially have an even stronger pause-to-check system but an activation system that is also very strong - just not quite as strong. This kind of HSP would be both very curious and very cautious, bold yet anxious, easily bored yet easily overaroused.

I think the latter description applies very much indeed to myself and explains why there are some contradictions in my responses to the self-test. I also thought of a friend of mine, who I think is clearly an HSP, but whose behavior in some instances is completely the opposite of what is suggested in some of the questions of the self-test. So as always, it is not that black-and-white.


2. Coping mechanisms

Since I thought a lot about my upbringing, family dynamics etc. since finding the forum - with the help of the great psychology books recommended here - I understand that I developed various coping mechanisms to handle the hardships and bad stuff in my family/society. With many of these, I think, I developed traits that are not so much in line with the HSP personality. For example, my parents - especially my mother - saw in me a more "outgoing", successful son, and basically wanted me to "function well" in the dominant western culture, which of course strongly favors non-HSPs. So I tried my best, to my detriment, I might add. So that's why, for example, I wouldn't have had considered myself shy a few years back (and others wouldn't have said this about me as well), although I can clearly remember that I've always been very shy and insecure, especially in new situations. In short: Family and society made me go against my HSP personality, and I tried to conform by developing all kinds of coping mechanisms/non-HSP-traits, which in hindsight had a very negative impact on my life.

Aron reflects this, when she writes:

Do you think you were taught to control your cautiousness too much so that you dare to do more than your body can handle?

Oh yes!

And:

You probably had favorite methods of overriding the pause-to-check system if it slowed you too long or often. One way might have been to imitate those with less of it. You just went ahead and god some good things, too, like them, in spite of you caution.

Yes! I might add that more often than not, these weren't good things at all!


3. Impact of the "Work"

Another thing that I found interesting is the impact that my self-work had on the HSP traits described by Aron. It seems that "the Work" has strengthened some of the HSP traits in me, which, I think, have been always there, but were buried by various coping mechanisms or "little I's". It makes sense: With "the Work", we try to get rid of "buffers"/coping mechanisms, and if, as I said earlier, these mechanisms were used to "override" my HSP traits, it's only natural that these traits came back once I was able to weaken certain buffers/"little I's".

Just to give an example: In the past, I used to go to many parties and always tried to be "outgoing" and "sociable". I even thought I enjoyed it at the time! But when looking back, I can see now that I never really enjoyed this kind of activities, I learned to do it, yes, but it always drained my energy and made me unhappy. I can see this only now in hindsight! So now that the need for this buffer is gone, that I know better what's going on inside me in social situations through self-observation and I have better control over myself and the decisions on how to spend my time, I'm much less outgoing and much quieter - more HSP. And I enjoy much more to have, let's say, two friends for dinner at home where I can use my sensitivity for interesting conversations and observations than to be at a loud, crowded place that completely overwhelms me.

Another example would be that before starting to work on myself, I would never had considered myself a "morning guy", quite the opposite! Now I can fully appreciate the beauty of the early hours, and get up very early almost every day! Another HSP trait that was buried, I think.

On the other hand, I think "the Work" has also weakened some of the HSP traits. Just one example: I have much better control of the "flight" mode now - a typical reaction of mine in the past was to "lock myself away" when I was overwhelmed with whatever. Just "do nothing", sometimes for days. A typical HSP thing, I guess. Now, while I still have this impulse sometimes, very often I can "override" it using my rational mind, body awareness and other "Work" concepts.

Maybe doing "the Work" somehow leads to a strengthening of the positive aspects of both the HSPs and non-HSPs?

So, these were some observations I wanted to share, and I think even people who don't recognize themselves immediately when doing the self-test could benefit from the book.

 

[truth seeker]

Certainly, in my case the karaoke, triggered all self importance, self criticize near to the self gossip, related to evaluations, feeling observed buttons. I had been able to pass other uncomfortabilites like dancing, but not with singing, when I was being a kid, there was this kid's dancing/singing group, and I felt obliged to be part of because, they –other girls from the block wanted to be complete, we used to do our show in whatever reunion/party with adults, I left the other girls being the stars of the show, I remember an uncle yelling me to sing Lauder every time, couldn't/didn't do it. With time and other friends from high-school and university I began to dance by my choice, but not the singing part.

Talk in public, I had done and it does not seems to be that problematic. I'm not sure if that kid's group was the traumatic experience from the past that may have triggered my aversion to sing with public or would be another experience, because I tend to sing sometimes being alone, and sometimes people had told me they had heard it, and I do not feel bad, and had been kept singing, like in the shower or before doing EE. Of course, always trying not to be heard, not successfully it seems.

Thanks for going into further detail. I think I understand what you're getting at.

When I was a kid, I was in plays (performances) at school and as far as I know, had no difficulty with it. I also took dance lessons and at the end of the season, we had a performance in front of an audience. These thins may have been 'easier' because I was on stage with many other people, but I suspect that in my case, age played a more important role as I think tat when we get older (somewhere around adolescence) we tend to care about what others think of us. Even if we don't, it seems that our peers are more willing to point out 'flaws' they perceive in us. This can send one in a downward spiral in terms of self consciousness.

In your situation, from what you've written, I also think that your uncle's response caused you to feel self conscious. I think the moment he called out to you, your perception that he was yelling at you made you feel uncomfortable. This feeling of discomfort was then tied to singing in public in general.

What's great about the book, is that Aron suggests reframing moments like these - perceiving them in a different way. So if you identify as hsp (or even not because you can also do writing exercises suggested in other threads), you may now be able to consider other possibilities like perhaps your uncle thought he was helping you by asking/telling you that you needed to sing louder because everyone wanted to hear you sing. If he didn't want to hear you sing or thought you were a 'bad' singer, he probably would've been more than happy to no be able to hear you. See the difference? :)

I suppose, best remedy would be singing in public, isn't it?, One/me should be brave ... but, I think I prefer to dive head first from whatever height, I was not able to do it neither ever…. On the contrary, if it is chosen the platform of 10 meters, I think I would prefer to sing, though. I suppose it would depend on the level of disliking in question. Too bad is for the purpose of an “evaluation”, it would be better to take it off forever.

Well, this makes me think that those who are fine with singing in public may want to do another activity that is more challenging for them. Dunno.

***

@ trendsetter,

I'll try to explain the trait in one way it expresses for me the best way I can. When I read a post on the forum, I don't 'just' read the words but also the underlying context - what is not written. Based on the replies I see others give on various threads in the forum, I can tell to some extent how others read posts as well so I don't reading posts in more than one way is uncommon with this group.

So when I read a post, there aren't just the words on the page but how the post is written. What's being said and more importantly what's not being said. What the feelings are 'behind' the post, if any. What information is attempting to being conveyed and what is consciously or unconsciously hidden.

I may also get a visual image depending upon what is said. So my current understanding of what's going on is that there are many different types of 'languages' that are being perceived. The languages correspond to the senses - the way we perceive information in our environment (sight, sound, taste, touch, smell).

The majority of the information perceived by those with sensory sensitivity issues is non verbal. I don't currently think that information is irrelevant but it may really depend on whether the person can recognize that the language exists, interpret or make sense of it, combine it with other information that already 'exists' and 'newly' perceived information and then translate it into a form that others can understand.

I think people both read and understand this information differently depending upon many different factors (biological makeup, trauma, actual spoken language, programs, etc).

When speaking with people, not only is everything described above taken into consideration, but there is now the added verbal communication and all that entails. I find that when most people speak, they are not really saying what they mean. I do this as well. We are taught from a very young age that this is not okay but yet we must still communicate.

So when someone is speaking, I 'hear' their dreams, their hopes, their fears, their sadness, their anger, etc. In addition to this, there is a weighing and measuring process that takes place - am I able to correctly interpret what I'm reading via my own 'dictionary' or am I putting my own spin on it. In other words, separating what is mine from someone elses. For me, this is a natural and continuous phenomenon.

It's difficult for me to come up with concrete examples because I think that spoken/written language doesn't quite touch it - it doesn't allow for the subtleties and nuances that occur in the various languages of the senses.

Basically, I found three things that I think "interfere" with the "diagnosis" or definition of the HSP for me personally:

1. Different types of HSPs

As Aron points out, there may be different "flavors" of HSPs, not all fall in the stereotype category "totally shy, quiet, conscientious etc.". She makes the distinction between the "pause-to-check system" and the "activation system", the former being the hallmark and defining factor of the HSP. It is the system which "inhibits" us, gets an internal dialogue going, puts us in the "be careful, think"-mode as opposed to the "act now" mode. But there may be different configurations in various types of HSPs. As she writes:

This two-system explanation of sensitivity also suggests two different types of HSPs. Some might have only an average-strength pause-to-check system but an activation system that is even weaker. This kind of HSP might be very calm, quiet and content with a simple life.
...
Another kind of HSP could potentially have an even stronger pause-to-check system but an activation system that is also very strong - just not quite as strong. This kind of HSP would be both very curious and very cautious, bold yet anxious, easily bored yet easily overaroused.

I think the latter description applies very much indeed to myself and explains why there are some contradictions in my responses to the self-test. I also thought of a friend of mine, who I think is clearly an HSP, but whose behavior in some instances is completely the opposite of what is suggested in some of the questions of the self-test. So as always, it is not that black-and-white.

I agree. There seems to be an entire spectrum of how this can present depending upon the individual. What I'm also finding is that there seems to also be some similarities in people considered to be autistic which I find interesting.

You probably had favorite methods of overriding the pause-to-check system if it slowed you too long or often. One way might have been to imitate those with less of it. You just went ahead and god some good things, too, like them, in spite of you caution.

Yes! I might add that more often than not, these weren't good things at all!

Same here! I've found that often when I attempt to override the pause to check system and made decisions before waiting a while to assimilate information, things went horribly wrong!

***

For whatever reason, the term 'receivership capability' is coming to mind as I think more and more about the subject of sensory sensitivity so i looked up the cass session that referenced it:

Q: (L) The fact is, we've got 3 billion base pairs... do some of these so-called segments of "junk DNA," if they were activated, would they instruct chromosomal replication to take place with more than 23 pairs as a result?
A: In part.
Q: Is there anything we can do in terms of activities or...
A: No. Biogenetic engineering.
Q: Was my insight that I had one night that, at some point in time something may happen that will turn genes on in our bodies that will cause us to physically transform, an accurate perception of what could happen at the time of transition to 4th density?
A: For the most part, yes.
Q: Are there any limitations to what our physical bodies can transform to if instructed by the DNA? Could we literally grow taller, rejuvenate, change our physical appearance, capabilities, or whatever, if instructed by the DNA?
A: Receivership capability.
Q: What is receivership capability?
A: Change to broader receivership capability.
Q: (A) That means that you can receive more of something.
A: Close.
Q: (A) It means how good is your receiver.
A: Yes.
Q: (L) What is your receiver? The physical body?
A: Mind through central nervous system connection to higher levels.
Q: So, that is the whole issue of gaining knowledge and developing control over your body. If your mind and CNS are tuned to higher levels of consciousness, that has significance in terms of your receivership capability?
A: Close.

http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/mouravieff.htm

Although people are categorized in this book as hsp and non hsps, I wonder if the 'issue' with those considered non hsps is not that they aren't able to pick up on subtleties in their environment at all, but rather that their particular reading instrument has evolved (for survival purposes) to shut out extraneous information in general as our environment has gotten 'noisier' not only in terms of sound but lights and other forms of technology.

 

[mabar]

In your situation, from what you've written, I also think that your uncle's response caused you to feel self conscious. I think the moment he called out to you, your perception that he was yelling at you made you feel uncomfortable. This feeling of discomfort was then tied to singing in public in general.
What's great about the book, is that Aron suggests reframing moments like these - perceiving them in a different way. So if you identify as hsp (or even not because you can also do writing exercises suggested in other threads), you may now be able to consider other possibilities like perhaps your uncle thought he was helping you by asking/telling you that you needed to sing louder because everyone wanted to hear you sing. If he didn't want to hear you sing or thought you were a 'bad' singer, he probably would've been more than happy to no be able to hear you. See the difference? :)

Yes, his intention was probably helping me out, we have a fondness/love/affection ever since I know him, I was thinking, why I did not saw before it the way you did? A partial conclusion is/could be that –knowing him- he used/tend to criticize other cousins and as myself too. When one/me focus in the negative side, I see/saw things too gloom. Although, in those moments, I can recognize that he said it with good intention. I suppose that bad/uncomfortable experiences, upon bad/uncomfortable experiences, one/me got used to see/saw myself wrong in many ways. The ever constant feeling to be fixed and being rebellious, because, why is me the one to be fixed??? at the same time, though.
Thanks, it helped to see things in different form.

Basically, I found three things that I think "interfere" with the "diagnosis" or definition of the HSP for me personally:

1. Different types of HSPs

As Aron points out, there may be different "flavors" of HSPs, not all fall in the stereotype category "totally shy, quiet, conscientious etc.". She makes the distinction between the "pause-to-check system" and the "activation system", the former being the hallmark and defining factor of the HSP. It is the system which "inhibits" us, gets an internal dialogue going, puts us in the "be careful, think"-mode as opposed to the "act now" mode. But there may be different configurations in various types of HSPs. As she writes:

This two-system explanation of sensitivity also suggests two different types of HSPs. Some might have only an average-strength pause-to-check system but an activation system that is even weaker. This kind of HSP might be very calm, quiet and content with a simple life.
...
Another kind of HSP could potentially have an even stronger pause-to-check system but an activation system that is also very strong - just not quite as strong. This kind of HSP would be both very curious and very cautious, bold yet anxious, easily bored yet easily overaroused.

Curious, the first type would be “an ideal” to me, but the second type is what I end up doing and behave.

 

[luc]

For whatever reason, the term 'receivership capability' is coming to mind as I think more and more about the subject of sensory sensitivity so i looked up the cass session that referenced it:

Q: (L) The fact is, we've got 3 billion base pairs... do some of these so-called segments of "junk DNA," if they were activated, would they instruct chromosomal replication to take place with more than 23 pairs as a result?
A: In part.
Q: Is there anything we can do in terms of activities or...
A: No. Biogenetic engineering.
Q: Was my insight that I had one night that, at some point in time something may happen that will turn genes on in our bodies that will cause us to physically transform, an accurate perception of what could happen at the time of transition to 4th density?
A: For the most part, yes.
Q: Are there any limitations to what our physical bodies can transform to if instructed by the DNA? Could we literally grow taller, rejuvenate, change our physical appearance, capabilities, or whatever, if instructed by the DNA?
A: Receivership capability.
Q: What is receivership capability?
A: Change to broader receivership capability.
Q: (A) That means that you can receive more of something.
A: Close.
Q: (A) It means how good is your receiver.
A: Yes.
Q: (L) What is your receiver? The physical body?
A: Mind through central nervous system connection to higher levels.
Q: So, that is the whole issue of gaining knowledge and developing control over your body. If your mind and CNS are tuned to higher levels of consciousness, that has significance in terms of your receivership capability?
A: Close.

http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/mouravieff.htm

Very interesting. In terms of "Receivership capability", I also thought about our connection to the "other world" in light of the Sprit release therapy discussions. I guess there must be a connection between HSP and psychic abilities. Personally, I never had any high strangeness in my life consciously, and I must say I'm really afraid sometimes when I think about "dead dudes" who may be around me... So I think I limit myself, as in I don't allow myself to truly "feel everything". I guess this applies to exploring the full spectrum of my own empathy as well - just too much fear and too much programs there. So maybe this really all has to do a lot with what the C's termed "Receivership capability"?

Although people are categorized in this book as hsp and non hsps, I wonder if the 'issue' with those considered non hsps is not that they aren't able to pick up on subtleties in their environment at all, but rather that their particular reading instrument has evolved (for survival purposes) to shut out extraneous information in general as our environment has gotten 'noisier' not only in terms of sound but lights and other forms of technology.

I agree very much, this is why I talked about coping mechanisms - we learn to shut down our senses in order to adapt to this hostile environment. So it could very well be that we are all HSPs in a sense?

I know this always gets us into hot, speculative waters, but there is also the question of OP's. Can they be HSPs? If yes, are there differences? It has been said that OP's are much better adapted to our reality in general, so maybe they cannot be HSPs and rather cause the HSPs to adapt/develop coping mechanisms/reduce their receivership capability?

 

[Laura]

The situation is analogous in a way to the concept of "shamanic genes" -- according to the Cs, if you feed them correctly, it is possible to develop certain innate traits is a way that will be beneficial not only to the individual, but also to the wider community in which that individual is embedded. Feed them incorrectly, and the person can become schizophrenic, a situation in which those traits are still being expressed but in a distorted and unhealthy way, detrimental to both the individual and the community.

And in a way, what you "feed your genes" has, as you have noted, different aspects: food, air, impressions. You can feed them the "confirmation of being special" and end up being an overgrown spoiled brat, or you can understand that knowing your machine is just one step in the process, the next is calibrating it.

Gurdjieff's three kinds of sustenance -- food, air, and impressions -- probably hint at the various ways in which this needs to happen. The body needs to be tended to with proper, individually appropriate nutrition (which will positively enable epigenetic mechanisms); the emotions need to be cared for through proper breathing, meditation, stress management, and self-compassion; the intellect needs to be tended through the continuous input of information based in objective truth. In concert with the appropriate level of sheer willpower and the support of a knowledgable, vigilant and caring community, things will proceed in the right direction; acting in contradiction to these principles in one or more ways will result in imbalance or, ultimately, a complete downward spiral.

I would say that willpower is the number one component. Everything else is catering to flaws, or evolutionary dead ends, IMO.

For example, on the HSP test, I definitely tick all the boxes and for years I protected myself in a bubble of illusion. It was only when I was pushed to the edge in many respects, where my life or the lives of my children or others, depended on me GETTING OVER THIS HSP stuff, and when my will kicked in, did things move. Read my signature. That IS what it is about. And if you are HSP, then you suffer a lot more. But it is the suffering that grows you.

I'm hoping this thread provides a good forum for those members who identify as HSPs to be able to share and enjoy some validation, since as Elaine Aron argues, society is stacked against the HSP temperament in a number of ways.

I would prefer to see it as a sharing of the issues that need correction for the sake of survival. As noted, the HSP with no willpower is an evolutionary experiment that will fail. Nature is red in tooth and claw and at this point in the experiment, those that get it and get it fast will survive, those that don't, won't.

One of the things I've been learning recently via the health issues I've been dealing with is that individual genetic make-up and biochemistry are extremely important to take into account when learning how to correctly treat an individual. It's easy for all of us to fall into the "one size fits all" trap, where if something works for us, we assume it should work for everyone, but it's important to remember this isn't true.

I think this is applicable to HSPs in terms of temperament -- people have different inherent thresholds of sensitivity and different modalities in terms of metabolizing sensory input. Perhaps this implies different Work requirements in some ways, or at least different ways of looking at them -- one example being the bolded parts in the quote above.

And, as noted above, how many of them will be the turtles that don't make it to the sea?

 

[Laura]

Let me take this issue another step.

First of all, consider what is said on the basic wikipedia article:

The approach adopted by Aron and colleagues questions the role of notions such as "shyness" in explaining basic differences in behavior that are encountered in many species, including humans. As opposed to shyness, which is best thought of a learned fear of social judgment, but often confused with an innate trait that would have no evolutionary advantage if it were nothing but fearfulness, the trait of high sensitivity is considered a basic, evolutionarily conserved trait with survival advantages in itself.

Aron was partly drawn to this conclusion by the early work on normal infant temperament variations,[11] including low sensory threshold, and a shy-bold continuum described in animal species. [12] [13] In both cases, the trait is normal and advantageous in enough circumstances for it to persist.

Further, certainly infants with this and other innate traits do grow up and continue to be influenced by their innate temperaments. However, research on adults tends to focus more on observable behavior differences in adulthood, such as introversion (more reserved and less outspoken in groups) and neuroticism (being anxious or depressed), without considering their potential origins as interactions of environment and temperament. In fact, some people born with the trait of sensitivity may appear introverted or neurotic, but others do not, depending on environmental factors. (And of course some introverts and neurotics are not highly sensitive.) This suggests that sensitivity is the more basic, innate trait that is often the origin of these others.

Faced with this apparent misnaming of a basic survival strategy, Aron and colleagues developed the notion of high sensitivity or sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). They do not feel genes come with some name on them, so that high sensitivity is the only or even best name for the trait. But studying it by using the HSP Scale, developed by first interviewing people who saw themselves as "highly sensitive," has resulted in a growing body of interesting research, using a variety of methods (genetics, functional magnetic resonance imaging, experiments, and surveys), and obtaining results equal to or stronger than those found with the typical traits used to study adult personality.

What this suggests (and I've bolded a few things that stand out) is that there are individuals who are HSP who experience bad environments as they grow up and turn into introverts, neurotics, depressed, unable to cope with reality, etc. But that the point of the trait is that it CAN be evolutionarily advantageous. But, as I said, if matching qualities are not developed also - or ARE NOT PRESENT - then the person is an experiment of Abundant Nature that will be extincted.

How many people use this research to make excuses for not having the other qualities that must develop in parallel to that sensitive processor?

Here's another way to think about it. On HuffPo there is an article about "10 Survival Tips for HSPs"
_http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life/201105/top-10-survival-tips-the-highly-sensitive-person-hsp

Here's the list with my comments in blue:

Knowing what I am has helped so much, especially when it comes to supporting myself through experiences that otherwise might overload my hypersensitive senses. Here, for you, are my top ten survival strategies: {It must be so nice to be able to baby oneself and to use being "highly sensitive" as the reason for self-indulgence...}

1) Get enough sleep

Lack of sleep (less than 7 hours, for most people) is well known to produce irritability, moodiness, and decreased concentration and productivity in the average person. Given our already ramped-up senses, I'm convinced that lack of sleep can make a highly sensitive life almost unbearable. Getting enough sleep soothes your senses and will help you cope with an already overwhelming world. {True enough. But there are lots of situations when you can NOT get good sleep or enough of it. If you don't have a strong enough psychological substratum to cope with such times, you - and maybe other people - are screwed. In particular, I think about the years of hard training I had to go through with five small children. I didn't get a decent night's sleep for over 13 years. When the baby(ies) is/are sick, your comfort is on the bottom of the priority list. In coming times, when the world gets a lot more chaotic - which is fairly certain - how are you going to baby yourself and get that good sleep?}

2) Eat healthy foods regularly throughout the day

Aron points out that extreme hunger can be disruptive to an HSP's mood or concentration. Keep your edgy nerves happy by maintaining a steady blood sugar level through regular healthy well-balanced meals and snacks. I also take fish oil (omega-3) supplements daily as the brain loves these, lots of studies support their beneficial cognitive and emotional effects.

{Again, this is obviously true for EVERYONE, though true, some people are like cockroaches and can eat anything. But if there is not something else in you that can get you through or over times of hunger, you are screwed. It seems that the paleo/keto diet helps a lot in this respect because with a bit of meat, you can function for a long time and without sugar highs and lows, you are a lot more stable.}

3) Wear noise-reducing headphones

A boyfriend introduced Peltor ear protecting headphones (usually used by construction workers, not pre-med students) to me when I was 19 and studying for exams. No matter where I am in the world I have had a pair with me ever since. HSPs are highly sensitive to noise, especially the kind we can't control, and my beloved headphones give me control over my personal peace in what's all too often a noisy intrusive world.

{Oh, how nice it must be to have "control over my personal peace." (sarcasm). Years ago, when my kids were babies and I knew I was gonna die from stress (lack of sleep, lack of any control over my personal peace, lack of proper diet, and so much more) I decided to learn to meditate. I read a story about a guy who taught himself to meditate during WW I, while in the army, and could thereby achieve total relaxation even with bombs falling and cannons firing. That struck me as a valuable ability: that level of concentration. If he could meditate on the battlefield, I could meditate OR CONCENTRATE surrounded by noisy children. And so it is. So, I would suggest that instead of getting your headphones, you learn how to master yourself. }

4) Plan in decompression time

HSPs don't do well with an overly packed schedule or too much time in noisy, crowded or high pressure environments. If you know you're going to spend a few hours in a challenging environment - such as a concert, a parade, or a crowded mall at Christmas time - know that you're likely to be frazzled after and will need to decompress somewhere quiet and relaxing, on your own if possible.

{Raising five kids meant that I really didn't have "decompression" time. And I was always under pressure and in a volatile environment. But, see item 3: if you will to do it, you can shut out the world and concentrate and in that way, you can "decompress" no matter what the circumstances and get "power rest" in a short time. Might come in handy in a chaotic world where we have almost no control over our environment.}

5) Have at least one quiet room or space to retreat to in your home

If you live with others, create a quiet safe place you can retreat to when you need to get away from people and noise. This could be a bedroom, a study, or even just a candlelit bath (or shower if that's all you have!). I've found it often helps to listen to quiet relaxing music as well, this can even drown out more jarring external noise when you need it to.

{Again, that is NOT the real world for most people. Yes, relaxing time alone is nice when you can get it. But the thing is, you need to be able to be a "sensitive processor" in a pressure cooker world to survive.}

6) Give yourself time and space to get things done

I mentioned above that HSPs don't do well with a packed schedule. I've managed to structure my work life so that I work afternoon/evening shifts the days I'm at the medical clinic. This way I'm able to get out of bed without an alarm, eat a calm unrushed breakfast and putter around before getting down to business. The calm this gives me carries through my whole day. Another strategy for those who work in the morning might be getting up extra early (after 8 hours sleep, of course) to enjoy the quiet before the rest of the household wakes up.

{Very nice. Ideal life, if you can get it. But if you can't, then you have to develop other parallel characteristics, like will-power and concentration, to compensate.}

7) Limit caffeine

HSPs are sensitive to caffeine - I usually can't even handle the traces of caffeine found in decaf coffee. If you're a coffee drinker (or dark chocolate junkie) and identify with the HSP trait description, giving up the joe might be a big step towards feeling more collected and calm.

{That's something everybody can do and it DOES make a difference.}

8) Keep the lights down low

I've never liked bright lights and learning about HSP helped me understand why. Minimizing light stimulation goes a long way: I only put on low lights in the evening, and prefer to shop in certain local grocery stores which have gentle mood lighting, avoiding the garishly lit, crowded "big box" stores whenever I can.

{Hah! Days may come when you have no other choice!}

9) Get things done in off hours

To avoid crowds and the associated noise and stimulation, I've learned to live my life outside of the average person's schedule. I grocery shop late in the evenings, run errands during the week whenever I can, go to movies on weeknights, and go out for my walks before the rest of the world hits the jogging path. An added bonus: by avoiding the crowds I usually get things done faster , and almost always get a parking spot!

{Must be nice to have so much control in one's life. Most of us don't have that privilege. But then, when you can survive under impossible conditions and STILL serve others and the universe, maybe it counts for more?}

10) Surround yourself with beauty and nature

Since we HSPs are so sensitive and deeply affected by our surroundings, envelop yourself with beauty and calm whenever possible. I've decorated my home simply in a way that's very pleasing to my eye, with minimal clutter and chaos. I also spend as much time as I can walking in nature, enjoying the quiet and its naturally healing and calming beauty.

{Again, this is nice if you can do it. And surely, appreciate it while you have it because you may not always have such control. And for those who don't, finding beauty where it is has to serve as well.}

One wonders how this woman is going to survive if she gets in one of those situations depicted in disaster movies where everything normal is gone, where there is nothing but the stress of survival...

So, what ARE the survival advantages of high sensory sensitivity? I wonder if they aren't measuring the wrong things and making assumptions here. There are irritable/prickly personalities and there are deep and reflective personalities and sometimes, the two may look the same on the outside, but not necessarily be the same on the inside.

...the work by Evans & Rothbart on Orienting Sensitivity.[16] As a large body of research[17][18][19][20] now suggests that sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS) is innate and found in about 15–20% of humans and is characterized by a greater depth of processing of sensory input, leading to a greater awareness of subtleties[21] along with the probably necessary result of becoming more overaroused by levels of sensory stimulation that do not bother others.

Obviously, one can use the very trait - awareness of subtleties - to suss out the fact that you can condition your system to filter out, or select, where you put your attention. Again, is irritability being confused with depth???

HSP students work differently from others. They pick up on subtleties and may think about them a long time before demonstrating their grasp of a subject. If an HSP student is not contributing much to a discussion, it does not necessarily mean he or she does not understand or is too shy. HSPs often have insights they are afraid to reveal because they differ from the common view, or because speaking up is too over arousing for them.

Notice the contradiction: 1) it does not necessarily mean he or she does not understand or is too shy. 2) HSPs often have insights they are afraid to reveal because they differ...

The HSP individual who has a true "awareness of subtleties" because of "depth of thought and feeling" should be easily able to deal with such a situation.

But indeed, the long thinking process is well known to me. And sometimes, I deliberately turn my focus/attention elsewhere (which I have trained myself to be able to do) in order to allow the subconscious processing to take over and sort things out.

Finally:

Readers interested in HSP may want to compare and contrast Aron's approach with Dabrowski's concept of over-excitability in his theory of Positive Disintegration.

So, we turn to that "stub" on wikpedia.

The Theory of Positive Disintegration (TPD) by Kazimierz Dabrowski describes a theory of personality and personality development. Unlike mainstream psychology, Dabrowski's theoretical framework views psychological tension, anxiety, and depression as necessary for growth.

The strongest potential for tensions that lead to advancement stem from mental overexcitabilities, above-average reactions to stimuli. Also, unlike some other theories of development such as Erikson's stages of psychosocial development, it is not assumed that even a majority of people progress through all levels, which are not tied to ages.

Overexcitabilities are sometimes used to help predict "giftedness" in both children and adults: The more "excited" or the more stimulated a sense is in a person, the more susceptible or prone his brain is to react in an extreme manner to anything that triggers it, thus the possibilities of expansion in ways of learning are increased in this person. Gifted people appear to be very in touch with their 5 senses possibly making them, in a sense, more 'global' than others.

And this brings it back home:

1) psychological tension, anxiety, and depression are necessary for growth

thus...

2) the HSP, being more in touch with their senses, having deeper and more subtle thought processes, are potentially more able to grow.

but...

3) they will not grow unless they are exposed to the things that "fire all of their guns at once..."

Finally:

4) obviously, once they have grown, they will no longer exhibit OUTWARDLY any of those signs and symptoms of the HSP in any way that cripples their lives or interactions with others.

 

[Lilou]

I have read about half of the HSP book by Aron. I was a bit disappointed, so I never finished it. I guess I was looking for more “meat” about the neurological aspects of HSP. Many of the things she talks about, how to overcome this or that, are issues that I’ve worked thru long ago and moved past (I think).

As for the test, years ago I would have answered yes to most of the questions, but now, I’d say no. Maybe that’s progress? I would not use HSP as an excuse to be considered “speshul”. Some people may find the book helpful, but if they over identify with high sensitivity, they could become obsessed or use it as an excuse for failures. Or even become delusional.

Each person is different and in today’s world, I can easily see how many people are overwhelmed – the sympathetic nervous system is in constant overdrive. I am finding the US almost unbearable at this point in time. To make matters worse, I just realized there are two huge cell phone masts about 150-200 meters from my office! The second was just installed, which made me then notice the other one! Just another thing to overload the nervous system!

I started researching cross dominance/laterality and any connection to HSP. I am cross dominant - left hand, left foot dominant, but right eye, right ear dominant. I suppose I am lucky that foot/hand and eye/ear are both on the same side, so I’m not totally uncoordinated! I also fit the “profile” of HSP and kind of had a “aha” moment – thinking “so that’s what is wrong with me”. I knew I wasn’t totally “normal”.

I was just wondering if others who identify with HSP are left handed or have cross or mixed dominance. This site _http://arabneuropsych.bafree.net/lateralitydefiniftion.htm gives a general overview. If there is a bit of chaotic wiring in the brain (cross dominance) it may slow down processing, leading one to be more easily overwhelmed. On the other hand, more neural connections between the two brain hemispheres, could also allow for more creativity, diversity and more “thinking outside the box”. It is a double edged sword. But like Laura pointed out in her post, one can use being HSP as a handicap/excuse or an advantage. For myself, I used my own will power to just “get over it” in order to survive and have some measure of success in life.

I was a bit shocked to read that by today’s standards, I would be probably be labeled and further tested because of cross dominance. Maybe that is part of the plan of the PTB, to drug the highly sensitive into “normalcy” and eliminate any “shamans” who see more than the average bear! Some days I feel like my nervous system is arching and I have to retreat to EE to kick start the parasympathetic system. Thank Ceasar (and Laura) for this awesome tool! I probably would have short circuited by now without it, as the stresses of today, pale in comparison to earlier times.

 

[lilies]

Highly Sensitive People have an uncommonly sensitive nervous system - a normal occurrence, according to Aron.

Shutting out all those disturbances so HSPs can have piece of mind and rest wonderfully and wake up with full of energy - disturbed by zero noisy neighbors - and have a breath-taking environment to walk/live in sounds like not really prepared to live in this world. Awakened some of my feelings and wishful thoughts from recent memory, [I realized] posts here gave me a mirror.

A HSP can be a child of an early divorce, where non of the parents had what it takes to teach important things from the "be-ready"-chapter about life.

In fairness the HSP could have a young soul, freshly graduated into 3rd density, weak, barely able to take on this harsh environment, but unlikely.

I rather lean toward a HSP being a narcissist, weak, filled with vanity. If willing to learn, will have lots of inconvenience, before becoming stronger, acquiring endurance.

 

[shijing]

And in a way, what you "feed your genes" has, as you have noted, different aspects: food, air, impressions. You can feed them the "confirmation of being special" and end up being an overgrown spoiled brat, or you can understand that knowing your machine is just one step in the process, the next is calibrating it […] I would say that willpower is the number one component. Everything else is catering to flaws, or evolutionary dead ends, IMO.

For example, on the HSP test, I definitely tick all the boxes and for years I protected myself in a bubble of illusion. It was only when I was pushed to the edge in many respects, where my life or the lives of my children or others, depended on me GETTING OVER THIS HSP stuff, and when my will kicked in, did things move. Read my signature. That IS what it is about. And if you are HSP, then you suffer a lot more. But it is the suffering that grows you.

The bolded part above is what I consider the greatest danger in approaching this topic. The potential for validation in learning about the HSP personality results from knowing your machine – understanding what makes you tick, so that you can come to a better understanding of what you need to Work on as well as how you can better contribute to your community; it definitely doesn’t mean to use HSP as a crutch (a buffer), and I think it’s paramount that we guard against doing so. Along these lines, I want to quote something that I posted recently elsewhere:

I do think the book is good in terms of offering a means for us to better understand ourselves. What we do with that that knowledge involves an additional layer of attitude and self-responsibility. Here are three possible reactions:

(1) I'm an HSP -- woe is me. I'm defective; I'm handicapped; I'm not as good as people who have it more together than me.

(2) I'm an HSP -- I'm a special snowflake. I'm sensitive; I'm gifted; I'm in rapport with the Universe in a way that other people aren't.

(3) I'm an HSP -- OK. I have certain strengths and certain weaknesses that other people don't have. Given this understanding, how do I Work on those weaknesses while exploiting the strengths for the good of myself and those around me?

I think the same could be said for some of the other psychology books. You could make a parallel with the books on narcissism, for example. Most people have experienced narcissistic wounding to a greater or lesser extent -- that's an objective fact. But subjectively, everyone has to decide what to do with that knowledge. Do you ignore the insights because everyone suffers to one degree or another anyway? Do you identify with it and ask people to coddle you because of your bad childhood? Or do you use it to learn about yourself so you can heal your wounds and help others to do the same?

I would prefer to see it as a sharing of the issues that need correction for the sake of survival. As noted, the HSP with no willpower is an evolutionary experiment that will fail. Nature is red in tooth and claw and at this point in the experiment, those that get it and get it fast will survive, those that don't, won't […] And, as noted above, how many of them will be the turtles that don't make it to the sea?

I think that’s a good point; sharing experiences can be helpful. The very crucial thing that needs to happen in doing that, IMO, is that it needs to be done with an attitude of “how can we help each other learn to deal with these experiences effectively” as opposed to allowing it to reinforce attitudes of handicap (“I’m defective and there’s nothing I can do about it”) or privilege (“I’m special and am entitled to being treated so”).

What this suggests (and I've bolded a few things that stand out) is that there are individuals who are HSP who experience bad environments as they grow up and turn into introverts, neurotics, depressed, unable to cope with reality, etc. But that the point of the trait is that it CAN be evolutionarily advantageous. But, as I said, if matching qualities are not developed also - or ARE NOT PRESENT - then the person is an experiment of Abundant Nature that will be extincted.

And that’s also a crucial point.

How many people use this research to make excuses for not having the other qualities that must develop in parallel to that sensitive processor?

Here's another way to think about it. On HuffPo there is an article about "10 Survival Tips for HSPs" […]One wonders how this woman is going to survive if she gets in one of those situations depicted in disaster movies where everything normal is gone, where there is nothing but the stress of survival...

I think that’s a great example of the wrong way to approach HSP, and a good deconstruction. The author of the HuffPo piece rubs me the wrong way as well, and I certainly wouldn’t want to be like her – as you explain, she’s a good example of someone who won’t be able to adapt and survive. Not because she’s an HSP, but because of her attitude toward being an HSP (which would be undesirable enough in a “normal” world, but will probably be deadly in the one we’re currently entering).

And this brings it back home:

1) psychological tension, anxiety, and depression are necessary for growth

thus...

2) the HSP, being more in touch with their senses, having deeper and more subtle thought processes, are potentially more able to grow.

but...

3) they will not grow unless they are exposed to the things that "fire all of their guns at once..."

Finally:

4) obviously, once they have grown, they will no longer exhibit OUTWARDLY any of those signs and symptoms of the HSP in any way that cripples their lives or interactions with others.

That’s an excellent summary – thanks for distilling it, Laura.

 

[Palinurus]

And this brings it back home:

1) psychological tension, anxiety, and depression are necessary for growth

thus...

2) the HSP, being more in touch with their senses, having deeper and more subtle thought processes, are potentially more able to grow.

but...

3) they will not grow unless they are exposed to the things that "fire all of their guns at once..."

Finally:

4) obviously, once they have grown, they will no longer exhibit OUTWARDLY any of those signs and symptoms of the HSP in any way that cripples their lives or interactions with others.

I can confirm this line of reasoning from my own personal experience. (Note: I'm talking about the years 2002/2003 and beyond, before I ever heard of Laura and this forum.)

When I encountered this HSP info, I already had for decades with varying degrees of success worked on my personal issues several times over on my own account although with valuable help from my GP; so this High Sensitivity stuff came to me more or less as an afterthought, so to speak. It helped me to better understand the background of my personal quirks and it gave me several practical, easily executable, additional measures to implement for mending the issues I thus far had failed to come to terms with.

Since I'm not well versed in biochemical and neurochemical knowledge nor well read on subjects like brain-body relations or connections between emotions and mental states, the Aron approach was just sufficiently detailed but not too abundantly technical in nature, and moreover it came to me just at the right moment for being influential in taking the next steps on my personal journey.

I used the info to start reworking my issues once again -- thereby fine tuning and rearranging what I already had accomplished before. For example, I provided for more darkness in my bedroom, changed my daily and weekly schedule a bit, changed my eating habits somewhat, took more time off on a regular basis, included more exercise, and implemented several other such things of similar nature. Nothing spectacular or earth shattering but very helpful over time.

All these 'little things' provided more overall stability in my life, gave me new hope and renewed self confidence, and laid the foundation for a more systematic approach of the root causes for my emotional unbalances and mental instabilities (as in: recapitulation, self observation, self remembering, and so on -- or at least to try those on a regular basis). In continuous consult with my GP I devised methods and procedures for creating 'breathing space' and 'workspace' (in a mental and practical sense) wherein I could, instead of repressing or denying them, safely allow my emotions to come out to the fore in order to systematically observe them, cataloging and organizing them, and where necessary to reframe, rearrange and reintegrate them. The overall aim was to reduce my level of medication to the bare minimum and at the same time at least maintain, or preferably improve on the quality of life.

I have been moving forward along these lines ever since and have accomplished notable improvements on all accounts. For me, Aron's approach simply provided a ladder to climb out of a pit or a monkey wrench to break a stalemate -- so I never identified with the HSP label nor with its specifics. I simply took from it what I could use and discarded the rest, or stayed at least very skeptical about it. In real terms I never changed all that much but I have learned much more about what's inside me, I finally accepted that I had to acknowledge all the internal processes I have to cope with and that I needed to build a strategy for better management of them, and by doing so I minimized being a nuisance to others -- and to myself as well.

Nevertheless, having said all this I need to stress the enormous impetus on top of these ongoing processes that came once again from finding this forum and its collected knowledge about many aspects of most of these. Some of the necessary groundwork just had already been laid out beforehand and therefore all this new additional info fell upon pre-processed and thus more fertile soil -- which came as a surprising extra bonus derived from hard labor. It took my whole personal experiment to a substantially new level yet again, for which I'm very grateful. Amazing grace, indeed...

 

[shijing]

I started researching cross dominance/laterality and any connection to HSP. I am cross dominant - left hand, left foot dominant, but right eye, right ear dominant. I suppose I am lucky that foot/hand and eye/ear are both on the same side, so I’m not totally uncoordinated! I also fit the “profile” of HSP and kind of had a “aha” moment – thinking “so that’s what is wrong with me”. I knew I wasn’t totally “normal”.

I was just wondering if others who identify with HSP are left handed or have cross or mixed dominance. This site _http://arabneuropsych.bafree.net/lateralitydefiniftion.htm gives a general overview. If there is a bit of chaotic wiring in the brain (cross dominance) it may slow down processing, leading one to be more easily overwhelmed. On the other hand, more neural connections between the two brain hemispheres, could also allow for more creativity, diversity and more “thinking outside the box”. It is a double edged sword. But like Laura pointed out in her post, one can use being HSP as a handicap/excuse or an advantage. For myself, I used my own will power to just “get over it” in order to survive and have some measure of success in life.

That's an interesting question -- I'm right-dominant myself, but left-dominance/cross-dominance is present in my maternal line. Tom Bever has looked at this extensively, although primarily in the area of language processing.

I rather lean toward a HSP being a narcissist, weak, filled with vanity.

I think that's making quite an assumption. I think it's true that there may be additional challenges which need to be faced, as discussed above, and that a person's attitude toward these can go in either a positive or negative direction based on their choices -- I don't think there's good reason to assume a one-to-one correlation with narcissism.

 

[Lilou]

In fairness the HSP could have a young soul, freshly graduated into 3rd density, weak, barely able to take on this harsh environment, but unlikely.

I rather lean toward a HSP being a narcissist, weak, filled with vanity. If willing to learn, will have lots of inconvenience, before becoming stronger, acquiring endurance.

I don't think it is quite that simple, lilies. The C's have said that a soul will try to incarnate with genetics which are compatible (paraphrasing). A more sensitive nervous system can be a real advantage or it can be totally debilitating (as is the case with ADHD, ADD, and similarly labeled "disorders". The problem is then compounded by drugs prescribed to those with such labels. The person is told something is wrong with them, so that alone would make matters worse. OSIT. Some with great potential are possibly derailed, before they even become an adult.

If this uber-sensitivity is an innate trait, it can go either way, depending on the will of the individual, experiences, level of intelligence/education, etc... It should not be used as a crutch or an excuse, but something that should be noted and adapted to. Saying HSP's are weak, vain, narcissists is a broad stroke statement. Like Shijing said, I do not see a one-to--one correlation. It is not that simplistic.

 

[Laura]

I rather lean toward a HSP being a narcissist, weak, filled with vanity.

I think that's making quite an assumption. I think it's true that there may be additional challenges which need to be faced, as discussed above, and that a person's attitude toward these can go in either a positive or negative direction based on their choices -- I don't think there's good reason to assume a one-to-one correlation with narcissism.

I think what lilies has noticed is exactly what I pointed out: it's hard to tell whether a person is just prickly/narcissistic and using the HSP excuse, or whether they are HSP with childhood damage. Because it seems that an HSP who has a decent childhood experience would - by virtue of their superior analytical abilities - be already sorting out their issues - if any remain.