What programs have YOU discovered?

[go2]

Hi Bud,

I read your posts on Self-Remembering and understood you see the laws(programs) that govern the universe and you are disappointed to be included. I just visited an old hunting buddy, who needed a beer to stop the shakes when he got out of bed in the morning. We talked for a few hours and I drove away. I felt his deep disappointment that life obeys the laws of the universe. He can't see the miraculous machine we call our body or the brilliant yellow collards I breed in the garden. I took a beautiful photo of a bee on a collard flower this afternoon. This passing day is our reality of being and entirely lawful. I know that I am nothing and cannot understand the gift of being invited to this party we call life. I do know from the Work, that I can choose some roles to play and how I pay the price of admission.

It doesn't matter that you have ADD, it is like a beer you take from the refrigerator when the reality of being a fractal algorithm is too much. No wonder Godel was hiding behind the furnace at Princeton. We all have ADD with our fractured Will. We are weak and pathetic, but the Work gift means we have the choice to die real men, if we pay the price. I know you see we must pay with our life to be born again. We pay now or we pay later. It is the law. Some here hear the words of sorrow and wish you well my friend. Self-remembering is a bitch, when we know what it means. Good night, Bud.

 

[Buddy]

Hi Bud,

I read your posts on Self-Remembering and understood you see the laws(programs) that govern the universe and you are disappointed to be included. I just visited an old hunting buddy, who needed a beer to stop the shakes when he got out of bed in the morning. We talked for a few hours and I drove away. I felt his deep disappointment that life obeys the laws of the universe. He can't see the miraculous machine we call our body or the brilliant yellow collards I breed in the garden. I took a beautiful photo of a bee on a collard flower this afternoon. This passing day is our reality of being and entirely lawful. I know that I am nothing and cannot understand the gift of being invited to this party we call life. I do know from the Work, that I can choose some roles to play and how I pay the price of admission.

It doesn't matter that you have ADD, it is like a beer you take from the refrigerator when the reality of being a fractal algorithm is too much. No wonder Godel was hiding behind the furnace at Princeton. We all have ADD with our fractured Will. We are weak and pathetic, but the Work gift means we have the choice to die real men, if we pay the price. I know you see we must pay with our life to be born again. We pay now or we pay later. It is the law. Some here hear the words of sorrow and wish you well my friend. Self-remembering is a bitch, when we know what it means. Good night, Bud.

You do understand me! When I'm up, I'm really pretty upbeat. It's just that I can go down as far as I was up. I will level out. Thanks my friend.

 

[Al Today]

Hello All, I am concerned about my self-importance. It's to the point that even now, I feel I am thinking about me, me, me in that am I now asking for a mirror or just looking for a feel good stroke to my ego? I've been through a little trial lately and I know so many others have problems much harder to fight than I. Never the less I am still concerned, I feel selfish and uncomfortable.

I've noticed the flavor of my posting of late. I don't know if I am trying to help others feel better about their situation or am I validating my self-importance? I have little knowledge to offer, only some life experience. I am wondering if I should just back off my involvement here or am I really Being helpful.

Even now I wonder if I want mirroring or reaching for feel good strokes. I'm just very confused right now...

 

[Al Today]

With all that I've read throughout the years, I feel a fool for writing the previous post on woe is me. I need to do more EE. I've been a slacker. This is a inner problem that will not go away with logical thinking. This little emotional problem will be resolved with a little "time". With the hip replacement I had 8 weeks ago, I have been an impatient patient, and I believe this may be a factor with this current emotional distress. I want things now, and I can't have them. This I know.

Perhaps I have just given the solution as to what is going on. BUT, suggestions are appreciated.

 

[Buddy]

Hi Al. Are you really being helpful? Consider this:

I'm in no state to advise on self-importance issues, but wanted to thank you for posting. I caught enough of a reflection to ignite a bit of inner heat as I sit with the knowledge of my recent behavior and review a "whiney" kind of program. Maybe that's what a part of me was looking for?

From my perspective, there is nothing inherently wrong with any "want something now" impulse. In a perfect world, this impulse might help get things done without unnecessary delay. The need for patience seems to simply be a consequence of the way things are, but I could be wrong.

Thanks again. :)

 

[obyvatel]

From my perspective, there is nothing inherently wrong with any "want something now" impulse. In a perfect world, this impulse might help get things done without unnecessary delay. The need for patience seems to simply be a consequence of the way things are, but I could be wrong.

I could be wrong too but from my experience, the "want something NOW " is a basically narcissistic impulse that does not want to consider the context of the situation and is concerned solely with the satisfaction of a personal "want". It is rooted in internal considering imo. Working against the "I want something NOW" is often part of what G said about not doing what "it" wants - osit.
Besides, "the way things are" is our reality - and we need to respond to that reality appropriately. So if the reality calls for patience, then are we not better off in developing that quality?

PS: I saw that you wrote you are feeling low. I hope you feel better soon.(hug)

 

[Al Today]

[...] "the way things are" [...]

Thanks obyvatel.
For some reason your post was a direct hit and had a soothing/calming effect for me.

Bud,
I appreciate you and also hope you feel better. For me, this life has been that proverbial roller coaster, slowly smoothing out, but with some unanticipated rapid drops. Perhaps a "whiney" program may be a deep rooted byproduct of "the way things are" on this BBM versus hope for better. Can one hope without anticipation?

 

[cubbex]

Truth is, everything is a program. There is hardly a single non-program to be seen anywhere. So, just pick something - anything you can think of to do. It's a program. A mechanical series of steps intended to lead somewhere. Not that all programs are bad...and not there is no creativity anywhere - it's just that OMG the programs are everywhere and there is hardly anywhere there is no program.

Sorry, ya'll. I felt like that was the only place I can start at the moment. :(

Indeed, everything is a program, when we learn we just change the program, we get a new and more complex software. Like we had windows xp, now we get windows 7 haha.

 

[Steve M.]

The buffer machine is what for me stands out the most. Buffer machine sounds best for (what might be best described as) the noise that follows.

Hope I'm not beating a dead horse as some see/call it.

Is it that Hope is such a strong program in me? Haven't I seen enough of the crap that passes for Politics, Religion, Truth etc.. to recognize that I've lived a full hoodwinking for at least the first 36 of my 42 years on this planet?

I give up a little hope to see more 'reality' and bam some of the illusion fades, but the illusion is still there, just a galaxy disappeared from the universe sized illusion. Galaxies don't take up a lot of space when there is soo much space between them (galaxies). And then of course there are times when new galaxies/star systems are born..

Sometimes I get huge floods of awareness and sometimes I beg for just an ounce of it. I see the buffer machine breaking down, but then I toss down some poison(s) (food, entertainment, side-tracking, non-course-of-action..) and sit in the embrace of the buffers. At times it seems when things are coming well into perspective (and this might sound like I'm in search of an experience, and that's not what I mean) like a truer deeper grasp of an idea, memory, clarity or program and something always comes up that breaks the focus.. and I'm not able to connect and regain that train of thought.. is this growing awareness or chemical dependence? It's not clear to me.

I often wonder if I am not the slowest evolving creature in the universe. Wondering at times, when is it going to sink in? I have all the tools, books, materials, exposure, ability to go and experience, and yet I'm idling.

I was watching/reading this UFOs-Aliens-and-the-Question-of-Contact (http://wwww.sott.net/articles/show/228283-UFOs-Aliens-and-the-Question-of-Contact) which is full of many things I know, learned or read about and was (to me) really putting things together in a greater way so far as perceiving things (if that makes sense) but I couldn't get it in one sitting. What I mean is is that I could not sit down and watch it, there had to be nearly 20 interruptions so that sitting down and watching it took 10-11 hours. This really jumbled up my increased awareness, like a series of broken flows.

Being sick of being asleep, buffering, lying to myself and others.. starts to get me emotional. Then the cycle of lashing out begins, then the jumping to conclusions, then the casting of judgments, the denial, and of course finally regret.

In saying all of that. There is an area in all of it that I'm finally growing content with. Little by little, even if infinitesimally little, progress is actually being made. The scales are sloughing off. Hopefully I've actually said something and not just regurgitated a series of metaphors.

When I first discovered the network/Work/Pentagon Strike/Truth, I was really pissed off, at pretty much everything (political religious), but it is much more tempered - but I'm not sure if the rage has turned more into acceptance of the S-ITuation we find ourselves in or if it's 'actual' patience. If it's acceptance, then what have I become? If it is controlled rage being tempered and turned to patience..? I'm not sure, since I feel I've generally lost interest in my old creative outlet (misc. video stuff), which I never felt I was very good at.

heh, maybe? this whole post belonged in the swamp :P

 

[Bluestar]

I often wonder if I am not the slowest evolving creature in the universe. Wondering at times, when is it going to sink in? I have all the tools, books, materials, exposure, ability to go and experience, and yet I'm idling.

When I first discovered the network/Work/Pentagon Strike/Truth, I was really pissed off, at pretty much everything (political religious), but it is much more tempered - but I'm not sure if the rage has turned more into acceptance of the S-ITuation we find ourselves in or if it's 'actual' patience. If it's acceptance, then what have I become? If it is controlled rage being tempered and turned to patience..? I'm not sure, since I feel I've generally lost interest in my old creative outlet (misc. video stuff), which I never felt I was very good at.

The first paragraph I can completely relate to. There are times when I think, 'why am I just not moving forward?' I have the tools and the knowledge, yet here I sit. I think this is the doing/being part that must be solidified. There are moments when I can truly see the 'why?' How rusty my machine is. How not in tune the centers are. Other times I buffer it all away with some excuse.

The second paragraph is also something I wonder. Have I just become more accepting of the things I have no control over. Have I put a barrier around me to protect my emotions that arise over things that I can do little to assist in? I question everything that comes before me, especially world events. There are truly no answers to most of my questions other then speculation. I search SOTT, the forum other alternative news for some clues. Though my conclusions are; ok, it's TPB and I really have no control over any of these things, so why bother getting angry. My latest quote is 'It is what it is, let me make the best of what is before me'

I wrote this down on a piece of paper and everyday read and reread it to see if I can apply this to the work I am doing on myself. It is from another thread (can not find it) that a member had posted from Kant. I am just putting here in quotes what I feel is relevant to this subject.

From Kant

Freedom is dependence of the influence of motivations, character, and external causes. More then just the power to choose. Freedom is the power to exercise will as a reason directs, to be the first cause of events, regardless of physical constraints.

To be thus free means we can see with our reason all or most of the influences that are imposed on us by the many forces acting in our environment, and we can choose based on knowledge of these forces, irrespective of them.

Reason making use of knowledge and awareness, followed by choice, stands in casual relation to phenomena.

For some reason, I think if I can just grasp what Kant is saying here, to make this my first line of how I do things, that maybe I will have a chance to grow. Or I am chasing my tail :/ My programs run deep. When I encounter a situation where I can almost feel the first reaction coming from a program, there most of the time I fall right into it. Only observing afterwards. There are fewer times where I can take a quick breath and observe myself switch a center. For example, if my emotional center is starting to react, I can see where the thinking center will kick in or the physical center may want to take flight. Still the how can I fix it program runs on the forefront.

This low feeling many of us are having may be part of the process of growing. A shock of some sort to help us balance and merge our centers.

Be well everyone

 

[Ollie]

...
I could be wrong too but from my experience, the "want something NOW " is a basically narcissistic impulse that does not want to consider the context of the situation and is concerned solely with the satisfaction of a personal "want". It is rooted in internal considering imo. Working against the "I want something NOW" is often part of what G said about not doing what "it" wants - osit.
Besides, "the way things are" is our reality - and we need to respond to that reality appropriately. So if the reality calls for patience, then are we not better off in developing that quality?
...

I'll go along with that, 'patience' is one big programme that I'm working on at the moment. And, I've noticed that internal considering is a large part of it. I can relate back from the metaphysical manifestation of it to a prior inner considering that, now, is a very subtle invocation of impatience - with myself, rather than with external - of which the latter I may have largely overcome.

Just discovered a programme myself today - letting go of rejection - I think rejection is the new one, as 'letting go' is another long established programme that I'm still struggling too overcome.

 

[cubbex]

heh, maybe? this whole post belonged in the swamp :P

No one said this was going to be easy. The cs' told Laura to not force things, they should come naturally, so maybe you are growing but at your speed, so if you have those books and you don't read them, maybe because you don't need it.

There is a folklore story about Socrates, It does not apply literally for you, but it shows that when you need to learn, you need to learn:

There was a young man that came to Socrates and said "I want to know everything you know." "If this is your desire," said Socrates, "then follow me to the river." Full of curiosity, the young man followed Socrates to the nearby river. As they sat on the bank, Socrates said , "Take a close look at the river and tell me what you see." "I don't see anything", said the man. "Look closer," replied Socrates.
As the man peered over the bank and leaned closer to the water, Socrates grabbed the man's head and shoved it under the water. The man's arms flailed wildly as he attempted to escape, but Socrates' strong grip kept him submerged. About the time the man was about drown, Socrates pulled him from the river and laid him on the bank.
Coughing, the man gasped, "Are you crazy, old man? what are you tring to do, kill me?".

"When I was holding you under the river, what did you want more than anything else?" asked Socrates. "I wanted to breathe. I wanted air!" he replied. "Don't ever make the mistake of thinking wisdom comes so easily, my young friend," said Socrates. "When you want to learn as badly as you wanted air just now, then come me again."

 

[Aya]

"When I was holding you under the river, what did you want more than anything else?" asked Socrates. "I wanted to breathe. I wanted air!" he replied. "Don't ever make the mistake of thinking wisdom comes so easily, my young friend," said Socrates. "When you want to learn as badly as you wanted air just now, then come me again."

This story hit me hard. I am so helpless with uncountable programs I find that I don't know what to do with them except observing. When I feel something, I know that I feel something which I usually don't know the cause of feeling those emotions. But when I think something, I am not sure if I am really thinking or running my programs. Maybe I am just keep running my programs and not really thinking. All I can do is try to stop what I tell myself and not to believe what I say to myself. It need a lot of effort to break each programs but I am not sure that "effort" really is. Or not sure where the true effort comes from. Like in the story, if I ask to get true wisdom, I have to keep asking as if I ask to breathe. How can I truly ask for wisdom when in fact I have so much fake "I's" that don't know the importance of knowledge? Or if the wisdom is essential for surviving (as breathing), how do I realize it to myself from my heart?

 

[cubbex]

Ark asked in one session why some people get important clues or something like that, and cs' said that suffering unlocks some kind of DNA. And I have read Laura about nothing free, and that you have to pay. So maybe the answer is to suffer... but you won't suffer naturally if you ask for it, I don't know, it's like a path you choose. And incredible after weeks or days of sadness your brain kind of open to new ideas and concepts... and then you have paid the price.
And in my case for example, when I was suffering all I wanted as air, was to know why, to know what the hell was happening. It's like a domino effect.

 

[Buddy]

From Kant

Freedom is dependence of the influence of motivations, character, and external causes. More then just the power to choose. Freedom is the power to exercise will as a reason directs, to be the first cause of events, regardless of physical constraints.

To be thus free means we can see with our reason all or most of the influences that are imposed on us by the many forces acting in our environment, and we can choose based on knowledge of these forces, irrespective of them.

Reason making use of knowledge and awareness, followed by choice, stands in casual relation to phenomena.

For some reason, I think if I can just grasp what Kant is saying here, to make this my first line of how I do things, that maybe I will have a chance to grow.

Kant seems easier to understand once a person has their real "Watcher" in place. If this is the case, it will also explain why you said this:

Or I am chasing my tail :/ My programs run deep. When I encounter a situation where I can almost feel the first reaction coming from a program, there most of the time I fall right into it. Only observing afterwards. There are fewer times where I can take a quick breath and observe myself switch a center. For example, if my emotional center is starting to react, I can see where the thinking center will kick in or the physical center may want to take flight. Still the how can I fix it program runs on the forefront.

This low feeling many of us are having may be part of the process of growing. A shock of some sort to help us balance and merge our centers.

Are you familiar with The Doctrine Of The Present? With the Watcher or self-observer able to stay in place, it will seem as if you have a bit more say in how you react at certain times, or whether you react at all in some situations. And if you have reached this point while also doing EE emotional cleansing and recapitulation, you will also see that there is less automatic inverting of your attention into your thinking center - programs, internal dialog, internal considering and such because some of the negative emotional attractors that gave memories of your past experiences the weight that they did, have dissolved.

When you can spend long amounts of time with your full attention mostly extroverted - even during the times it used to automatically swing inside out so that you could see and feel yourself as "bad" from another's viewpoint, then your awareness of context (or situational awareness) improves because you're paying more attention and it will be easier to notice the influences being imposed on you that Kant mentioned.

I don't know about "first cause" so much though, since there are seemingly so many interrelated and interconnected forces and causal loops acting together all the time, but I imagine it will certainly seem like it at first and I can say that you will seem to have more choice as to what you do and when you do it (since you would not be nearly as reactive as you used to be).

FWIW, because this is from just my experience and observations.

Be well everyone

You too. :)