What programs have YOU discovered?

[GqSoul]

It's interesting to review our path and try to reflect on out actions and motivations. My list of programs is similar to what many others have posted. The ones I'm most aware of now are: perfectionism, apathy, over-intellectualizing, self-absorbtion, self-entilement/justification, I'm sometimes insecure about not knowing enough about subject and so I get defensive or agitated when questioned. I can be alternately unfocused and obsesive. There's also the flirting/seductive program and the self importance program...plus many more. What encourages me about our lists, however, is that we can help each other recognize our programs and grow increasingly aware/conscious.

 

[truth seeker]

I was a little confused by what you were saying in this quote. The labels of monastic and crusader was what threw me off as I don't know what they mean in relation to Myers-Briggs. I remember doing this test somewhere around high school/college in the desperate hope that this would give me some clue as to who I was. It didn't work for me as too many questions were left unanswered... The reason it seems that your depression was triggered was because you were turned down for a backstage pass... While you seem to downplay your interest in Stevie Nicks, you seem to have spent a good portion of your life tracking this person.

Well at one point and sort of still now I wanted to make a career out of personality theory. Here's my latest paper:

Hi Bluelamp,

I did a search on your paper for monastic and crusader and didn't find either term mentioned so my confusion regarding these terms still persist.

I'm finding your posts in this thread difficult to follow. At first, I thought there was something I wasn't understanding but I don't think that's what it is. What seems to keep happening is that you start to answer a question and then you go off on a tangent. Sometimes you return to the point sometimes you don't.

This is only my opinion, but it seems that in your rush to show how much you know and how many people you know you miss what is being said to you and miss out on any opportunity to really gain insight as to who you are. There's no need to impress me or anyone here. You are free (and strongly encouraged) to be yourself. Frankly, you could be someone living on the street and have never accomplished anything and I wouldn't think any less of you.

The reason I brought up the backstage pass was because I thought we had reached that as being the cause for your reaction to SN's handler. If you're not ready or willing to get to the bottom of this, please let me know and I'll drop the issue with no hard feelings.

One last question however, have you been able to start reading any of the big five books?

 

[John G]

Hi Bluelamp,

I did a search on your paper for monastic and crusader and didn't find either term mentioned so my confusion regarding these terms still persist.

I'm finding your posts in this thread difficult to follow. At first, I thought there was something I wasn't understanding but I don't think that's what it is. What seems to keep happening is that you start to answer a question and then you go off on a tangent. Sometimes you return to the point sometimes you don't.

The reason I brought up the backstage pass was because I thought we had reached that as being the cause for your reaction to SN's handler. If you're not ready or willing to get to the bottom of this, please let me know and I'll drop the issue with no hard feelings.

One last question however, have you been able to start reading any of the big five books?

Truth Seeker, yeah I kind of went overboard. It's more Tony Smith who is the smart one. Like I said to Anart, I have a different (very different) model than Keirsey. What I do is all theory, Keirsey gets into the "self help" stuff too. Here's Keirsey's descriptions (with the monastic and crusader descriptors) though you have to go to another page to find where the guy credits Keirsey's "Please Understand Me" book:

http://www.gesher.org/Myers-Briggs/Profiles--NP.HTM#INFP

Now you are confusing me with the backstage pass thing. Maybe if I just give the complete story behind how I got the backstage pass offer. Laurie, a person who used to work at Stevie Nicks' mom's antique shop and who occasionally was financially supported by Stevie Nicks, emailed me and we had a nice discussion. Several months later I mentioned Laurie to a Stevie fan, Monica, and they actually ended up being very close friends. Laurie gave Monica several backstage passes to give to whoever Monica wanted to give them to.

All of us Stevie fans in the New York (where I lived then), Pennsylvania, and New Jersey area met together at Six Flags in New Jersey. At Six Flags, Monica offered me a backstage pass since I had been the one who introduced her to Laurie. I said no due to the fact I had never at that point even been to a Stevie Nicks concert and I could also tell she was stressed about having way more people who wanted passes than passes available.

I haven't bought a book since I got laid off eight years ago. I did get the wave series when it was in e-book form since that seemed more like a full donation. I'm currently reading C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy that my parents lent me. Are any of those big 5 books available in Libraries? That reminds me, I think one can download Keel books here which I haven't done. The other nice thing about downloads is I'm not overly sure how external consideration compatable some of the books' content as well as price is with my wife. She doesn't know about the Wave e-books purchase or my other donations.

 

[shijing]

Hi Bluelamp --

Are any of those big 5 books available in Libraries?

I believe that most of them are -- I was able to get ahold of two of them through my own local library. I didn't need to try to get the rest because I found them over interlibrary loan, but if you have the potential to do so where you live, I would put in requests at the library for anything you can't find locally and see if they can get them for you.

That reminds me, I think one can download Keel books here which I haven't done. The other nice thing about downloads is I'm not overly sure how external consideration compatable some of the books' content as well as price is with my wife. She doesn't know about the Wave e-books purchase or my other donations.

Does your wife normally browse through the books that you are reading? I'm curious, because it seems like you should be able to read whatever book you choose (within reason) without worrying about external consideration in this context. If you tried to make her listen to you talk about what you're reading when she doesn't want to -- that would be externally inconsiderate, but just having a book around for yourself doesn't seem like it would be a problem in that way.

 

[John G]

I believe that most of them are -- I was able to get ahold of two of them through my own local library... Does your wife normally browse through the books that you are reading? I'm curious, because it seems like you should be able to read whatever book you choose (within reason) without worrying about external consideration in this context.

Hi Shijing, well then it should be really easy then (I live in Tucson). When I applied to QFS, it was mutually agreed cause of my wife that I shouldn't join (and my wife saw that email). It's more like my wife is worried, she really wouldn't want it to seem like I'm getting more involved. Cause of me, she keeps oxygen bottles at the front door overnight in case someone breaks in. Her sister has an ex-CIA (though he occasionally still works) agent for a neighbor and they wanted him to come check our house for bugs.

The CIA agent neighbor said well if it's CIA/FBI, the bug check by me might make them back off but if it's a foreign national (I think that's the way he phrased it) then my bug check might cause them to take you out. I said something about France to my sister-in-law but not in any foreign national sense but there wasn't any bug check.

 

[anart]

Hi Shijing, well then it should be really easy then (I live in Tucson). When I applied to QFS, it was mutually agreed cause of my wife that I shouldn't join (and my wife saw that email). It's more like my wife is worried, she really wouldn't want it to seem like I'm getting more involved. Cause of me, she keeps oxygen bottles at the front door overnight in case someone breaks in. Her sister has an ex-CIA (though he occasionally still works) agent for a neighbor and they wanted him to come check our house for bugs.

Hi bluelamp, just so you know, the above makes no sense. Why would your house be bugged? Why does she keep oxygen bottles by the front door? What would that have to do with QFS?

The CIA agent neighbor said well if it's CIA/FBI, the bug check by me might make them back off but if it's a foreign national (I think that's the way he phrased it) then my bug check might cause them to take you out. I said something about France to my sister-in-law but not in any foreign national sense but there wasn't any bug check.

'Take you out' for what? Are you saying that you are some sort of threat to 'foreign nationals'? It sounds like there are some pretty serious paranoia issues here. Or, perhaps, (hopefully), I've misunderstood you.

 

[John G]

Hi bluelamp, just so you know, the above makes no sense. Why would your house be bugged? Why does she keep oxygen bottles by the front door? What would that have to do with QFS? 'Take you out' for what? Are you saying that you are some sort of threat to 'foreign nationals'? It sounds like there are some pretty serious paranoia issues here. Or, perhaps, (hopefully), I've misunderstood you.

Anart, she keeps oxygen bottles in front of the door so the noise will wake her if anyone breaks in. Bottles at the door and bug checks were not my idea. The "take out" I would think was just a general comment for what foreign nationals would do, I've only met the guy once, I only got it relayed back to me via my sister-in-law and wife. I put that oxygen bottle thing in my QFS application or in the follow up emails I'm pretty sure (the CIA neighbor thing was after I applied to QFS).

 

[anart]

Hi bluelamp, just so you know, the above makes no sense. Why would your house be bugged? Why does she keep oxygen bottles by the front door? What would that have to do with QFS? 'Take you out' for what? Are you saying that you are some sort of threat to 'foreign nationals'? It sounds like there are some pretty serious paranoia issues here. Or, perhaps, (hopefully), I've misunderstood you.

Anart, she keeps oxygen bottles in front of the door so the noise will wake her if anyone breaks in. Bottles at the door and bug checks were not my idea.

Okay, but you said she does it "because of me", which would indicate that you are telling her some pretty bizarre things, that aren't based in reality. Is there some other reason that she does it 'because of you'?

I don't mean to pry into your personal life, Bluelamp, but considering you've connected this directly to your involvement here, it's a bit disconcerting that you are giving people such impressions about the consequences of being involved here.

 

[henry]

Bluelamp, I must say your posts have raised the same questions in me as Anart has expressed. And you haven't answered her question:

What would that have to do with QFS?

It sounds as if you talked to your wife about QFS in a way that provoked a strong reaction in her, and she went running to her sister... who went running to the neighbour.... Is that what happened?

 

[John G]

Bluelamp, I must say your posts have raised the same questions in me as Anart has expressed. And you haven't answered her question:

What would that have to do with QFS?

It sounds as if you talked to your wife about QFS in a way that provoked a strong reaction in her, and she went running to her sister... who went running to the neighbour.... Is that what happened?

Yes, that would be it and it's related to this:

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=5732.msg38986#msg38986

Both my wife and sister-in-law have seen them with and without me in the car, just this week a slow huge low flying military plane kept turning with us (me and my wife no sister in law) and followed us right into the school parking lot which it circled as my wife waved to it. When she went into school, with me and the kids staying in the car, she told me to make sure to wave to it if it comes around again. Most of the serious things we say to each other in this area tend to be in joking form especially if the kids are around (my sister in law jokes in this area too).

I think I probably did joke about the house being bugged and I would have actually mostly been really joking and certainly wouldn't be thinking looking for bugs, the context I would say that in would be in the context of if the helicopter, plane, (or blimp) seemed to know when we were leaving the house. I don't want to give the impression we talk/joke about this stuff every day, once a week would be a lot, once a month more the average I would think. The oxygen bottles would be nightly though.

I certainly see stuff in the air lots of times per week, maybe our house and school and frequented stores are just a popular flight plan or our family has mass hypnosis or something, this isn't my area of expertise obviously. I kind of identified with that stalking thread somebody started, I actually posted the stalking by air part from one of the links somebody mentioned.

 

[anart]

Both my wife and sister-in-law have seen them with and without me in the car, just this week a slow huge low flying military plane kept turning with us (me and my wife no sister in law) and followed us right into the school parking lot which it circled as my wife waved to it. When she went into school, with me and the kids staying in the car, she told me to make sure to wave to it if it comes around again. Most of the serious things we say to each other in this area tend to be in joking form especially if the kids are around (my sister in law jokes in this area too).

I think I probably did joke about the house being bugged and I would have actually mostly been really joking and certainly wouldn't be thinking looking for bugs, the context I would say that in would be in the context of if the helicopter, plane, (or blimp) seemed to know when we were leaving the house. I don't want to give the impression we talk/joke about this stuff every day, once a week would be a lot, once a month more the average I would think. The oxygen bottles would be nightly though.

I certainly see stuff in the air lots of times per week, maybe our house and school and frequented stores are just a popular flight plan or our family has mass hypnosis or something, this isn't my area of expertise obviously. I kind of identified with that stalking thread somebody started, I actually posted the stalking by air part from one of the links somebody mentioned.

Bluelamp, I think it would be healthiest for you, and your wife, to strongly consider the fact that the airplanes and helicopters are not following you. Take this as fact. Unless you have not revealed to us that you are involved in espionage or other clandestine activities that would make it worth their while to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to watch you from the air, they have no reason to follow you - none.

If you are under surveillance for something you're involved with that has nothing to do with reading a news site called SoTT or being on this forum (since neither of those things result in being followed by airplanes or helicopters), then reacting in an emotional manner every time you see an airplane or helicopter nearby is only feeding those who may be observing you.

In other words, it's time to take your life back and to stop seeing monsters in the shadows, innocuous comments from passersby as signs, and agents in the air.

I hope you will consider my words, because the behavior you are describing - in both yourself and your wife - is most certainly unhealthy and I don't think you deserve to live with that level of unnecessary stress.

 

[shijing]

Hi Shijing, well then it should be really easy then (I live in Tucson).

I'd give it a try, and I think you'll have luck -- nice to know there are others here in the southwest :)

I also wanted to say that I think anart's post above this is quite right, because from what I've observed so far it seems to be our minds that are targeted far more than our bodies. With the single exception of PepperFritz, around whom were apparently very specific extenuating circumstances, and possibly Laura and Ark's transition to France, I haven't noticed any evidence to date of any specific physical threat to forum members because they are such. What I have noticed is a literal maelstrom of disinformation that we have to wade through constantly, and unfortunately sometimes this does do damage. I think it makes since for any STS higher-ups who happen to be concerned about us to do things this way, as they do take the path of least resistance, and it presumably takes less energy to derail our thinking and beliefs than to find a way to send someone after us physically. My guess is that for the time being, people developing free energy or actively tracking down UFOs (in other words, anyone who threatens to upset the status quo in a public way) will be seen as more of a threat than a member of QFS would be.

 

[truth seeker]

Thanks for the link! I understand now.

Now you are confusing me with the backstage pass thing. Maybe if I just give the complete story behind how I got the backstage pass offer. Laurie, a person who used to work at Stevie Nicks' mom's antique shop and who occasionally was financially supported by Stevie Nicks, emailed me and we had a nice discussion. Several months later I mentioned Laurie to a Stevie fan, Monica, and they actually ended up being very close friends. Laurie gave Monica several backstage passes to give to whoever Monica wanted to give them to.

So if I'm understanding you correctly, the backstage pass thing was a completely separate issue than the incident that depressed you?

 

[John G]

Thanks for the link! I understand now.

Now you are confusing me with the backstage pass thing. Maybe if I just give the complete story behind how I got the backstage pass offer. Laurie, a person who used to work at Stevie Nicks' mom's antique shop and who occasionally was financially supported by Stevie Nicks, emailed me and we had a nice discussion. Several months later I mentioned Laurie to a Stevie fan, Monica, and they actually ended up being very close friends. Laurie gave Monica several backstage passes to give to whoever Monica wanted to give them to.

So if I'm understanding you correctly, the backstage pass thing was a completely separate issue than the incident that depressed you?

Yes that the backstage pass was years ago when I was young, unmarried and girl crazy, now I'm old, married, and just plain or should I say plane crazy thus causing me to do things like get depressed talking about UFOs with old ex-rock stars.

 

[ALLusion]

I also wanted to say that I think anart's post above this is quite right, because from what I've observed so far it seems to be our minds that are targeted far more than our bodies. With the single exception of PepperFritz, around whom were apparently very specific extenuating circumstances, and possibly Laura and Ark's transition to France, I haven't noticed any evidence to date of any specific physical threat to forum members because they are such.

In terms of physical harm, I think the most used avenue would be in the form of illness, disease etc. It's certainly being used alot by 3D forces. By keeping ourselves as healthy as can be we are probably closing off that avenue of attack by 4D forces aswell, or so I hope.