Hi everyone!
Finally joining you here. :) I've started with EE pretty late (thus my post is a bit longer) my summer was somewhat of a deep sleep as a means to recover from a pathological relationship.
Anyhow, I've started with pipe breath and then the whole program. Have done the full program approxiamtely ten times.
I had a rough shock pretty soon, experiencing an entity suck on me, posted
here (link=topic=14058.msg110625#msg110625 date=1256030831) , followed by another intruder a few nights later. Not sure though whether
these were real entities or simply projections.It felt pretty real and external though, and was followed by a depression as if to assimilate this new 'seeing' if it was such.
Along with a dream in which I was with a group who I thought was STO-oriented, but in the course of the dream it turned out they were wolves in sheep's clothing,
trying to suck me in to their fangs. That dream also revealed how I did have signs that there was something not right with the group, but I still went along, believing they were collinear after all.
Apart from that I've experienced similar things like the others: tingling in hands, energy moving around in my body, some zoning, too. No colors and no visions as yet.
One morning after EE I woke up and thought I had indeed become mad: there were two different personalities present in me, I mean
palpable, speaking and acting through me! One was real silly, giggling and each moment about to explode laughing out loud without any reason to. The other one was a female and everything, simply everything was making her feel ashamed and she was using situations I've experienced to agitate herself over them.. (experience of different i's in real time?). In any case that was spooky.. and heavy, too. I felt that if I didn't keep holding on to my center (whatever that is for me atm) I'd turn into a lunatic and get straight into an asylum, really, that wasn't funny.
Yesterday I was doing the EE and for the first time felt connected to this group *joy* and had a lot of yawning and did not try to suppress it as before, and it was some extreme kind of yawning, but got me really relaxed and present. I also had the urge to giggle/laugh out loud very often and without reason, and especially when I was being shown the image of a snail, that being my modus operandi for the Work, as I've recently understood.
When doing the POTS I was for the first time really listening to Laura's voice, not the contents of the prayer but her voice. I found it so extremely beautiful! And then something strange happened: I was suddenly
feeling her human-ness, her heart, her tenderness and when I felt that I suddenly started sobbing, feeling pain and sobbing, and I felt like a child, protected by her archetypal motherly energy and love. Wow - that has deeply touched me!
Today I've been feeling down and also really frustrated about my work (six days a week, bad payment, 'bad' people) I'd have loved to simply leave and never come back. My mother came by telling me I shouldn't show it. She's right from the point of external considering, though. Also headaches, which I usually don't have, but it's the first day without coffee and I kow from past experience that getting off coffee brings about real detox symptoms with me. Hopefully I'll succeed in staying away from coffee for good this time.
I haven't yet done it: thank you so much Laura and everyone else involved for creating this breathing program!
edit: inserted link
Moderator: fixed the link