Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

Nothing much to report. Doing the program once or twice a week without the beatha part and then with the beatha once a month / every two months (after having stopped beatha altogether for a very long while). During the Beatha I see grid-like patterns, tiles, plaids, checks, etc., as I always have. I don't exactly zone out during the POTS but catch myself in weird semi-conscious dream-like states that I remember for just a second or two and completely forget afterwards.
 
Had a bit of a weird experience with three-stage breathing today. After a release of frustration, I felt really anxious. Normally after these releases I feel the exact opposite. I feel fine now, but it was just a bit strange.
 
Timey said:
Had a bit of a weird experience with three-stage breathing today. After a release of frustration, I felt really anxious. Normally after these releases I feel the exact opposite. I feel fine now, but it was just a bit strange.
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As you may know, stimulating the vagus nerve by pipe breathing should put you in a state of calm and relaxed alertness, but it can induce emotional releases too. Emotional trauma and 'body memories' are often released from the amygdala (vagal stimulation effects the amygdala). The nice thing about this procedure is that releasing those traumas while being in this calm/alert state shouldn't make you too scared or make you panic. When I've experienced releases of emotional trauma during a EE-session, I've wept and even screamed, but afterwards I've always felt great. So, it is interesting that you felt anxious afterwards. How long did this last?

Btw, did you just do the pipe breathing part - no round breathing (Ba-ha)?
 
Aragorn said:
Timey said:
Had a bit of a weird experience with three-stage breathing today. After a release of frustration, I felt really anxious. Normally after these releases I feel the exact opposite. I feel fine now, but it was just a bit strange.
Click to expand...

As you may know, stimulating the vagus nerve by pipe breathing should put you in a state of calm and relaxed alertness, but it can induce emotional releases too. Emotional trauma and 'body memories' are often released from the amygdala (vagal stimulation effects the amygdala). The nice thing about this procedure is that releasing those traumas while being in this calm/alert state shouldn't make you too scared or make you panic. When I've experienced releases of emotional trauma during a EE-session, I've wept and even screamed, but afterwards I've always felt great. So, it is interesting that you felt anxious afterwards. How long did this last?

Btw, did you just do the pipe breathing part - no round breathing (Ba-ha)?
Click to expand...

It lasted about an hour, and no I didn't do round breathing. I think the fact that I suddenly became worried that someone would walk in on my release, while in the process of the release, is what set it off. This isn't normal for me, but it has happened before with releases of anger/frustration.
 
If you find the people who are around you or could walk in on you do not understand the purpose of EE or that you feel they will judge you and this anticipated judging is making you uncomfortable personally I find the best results from setting aside 30-45 min where I won't be interrupted to perform EE I find the less distractions/mental activity the better.
 
This week, what has now become usual tears and yawning, and a restless left foot and leg with tears during PotS on Monday, and on Thursday, tears and zoning out for the majority of PotS – well into the end music.
 
Just to say, after a long break from EE due to a nasty bout of tonsillitis lasting forever, general feeling of lousiness and really awful problems with my daughter (who seems to be suffering from a personality disorder - more later in the swamp), I finally felt fairly at peace tonight. I left out the beatha part.
 
After a long session of EE yesterday, I felt this feeling of a "black shadow" gradually moving up and out of my body and giving me some clarity of mind. I've been in a rough state for some time since the beginning of this year and this is certainly a relief. Looking at my journal entries I see that I had a dream of fighting with a lizard around the time that I started losing touch with myself. The session produced feelings of gratefulness and awe at the miracle of EE. I'm also getting a little overexcited about it again and I did the full session today as well. I just want to get rid of this strange tingling sensations within my body, and I know they go away with extended sessions... Still, since there is no free lunch, I guess there will be repercussions for trying to speed up healing. I wonder if it is all right to do full sessions more frequently for a while if you think you "need" it?

Anyway, the good thing is that I can finally "see" better and my desires and compulsions have toned down considerably. I feel much more capable of controlling my I's and being vigilant. Feels like I'm in the process of returning to a better place, like "going home" again. I had a moment of moral bankruptcy just a day or two before this session which made me face myself finally. Painful but not as painful as the ones before. I read Women Who Run W/ the Wolves again, specifically the story about the Red Shoes. That was nice. I need my handmade shoes back, thank you!

Also, about the "black shadow," I have a feeling it has something to do with emotional pain that is buried within the body. It feels like a bunch of "writhing" patches on the surface of my skin. The patch is usually tingling or sometimes slightly stinging. It's hard to explain but I don't know if anyone's felt something like this? I can definitely correlate this "black shadow" with my behaviours and addictions, it makes me enjoy things that are not worthwhile, ie accentuating STS tendencies... it also makes me avoid the truth. Evil, indeed. :evil:
 
I'm new to the self-observation terminology here, so if I mangle this please feel free to offer correction as it will be gratefully accepted and appreciated.

My little i's (I've long thought of them as "drunken monkeys") have been objecting vehemently to my EE practice; from this I conclude that EE must be a very good thing for the I AM that I seek. The monkeys, though not exceptionally creative at this point, are persistant: not enough time, you forgot to do this, you were going to do that, and so on. I haven't progressed enough in the study of these matters to know what to do about them so I watch, take note, and proceed with EE.

Observing these fools is mostly tiring and a bit depressing (some peace, please!) but, sometimes, amusing. The latest effort has to do with the headphones I've used from the start: they suddenly hurt my ears! Therefore, the monkeys whisper, you would be wise to suspend this business indefinitely until such time as adequately comfortable headphones can be secured.

The monkeys know that I hate dealing with the driving around in a city that this would require and would likely procrastinate. Mail-order would also take time. They seem to have forgotten or can't access my memories of the seas of pain in which I was regularly awash during over 20 years of frequent migraines. I don't like pain but I do like EE. I'm also not fond of these inebriated chimps. Ha! On with the phones, ignore the "pain" and laugh at their latest effort.

I hope you are all finding your practice as rewarding as I am mine.
 
Hi Patrick,

Perhaps in the meantime that you are using the earphones, you can order some more comfortable earphones, and use them instead when they have arrived. I don't see why you should be hurting yourself this way.
 
Oxajil said:
Hi Patrick,

Perhaps in the meantime that you are using the earphones, you can order some more comfortable earphones, and use them instead when they have arrived. I don't see why you should be hurting yourself this way.
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Yeah, and another thing to consider is not use headphones, if that's possible, until you get a more comfortable set.
 
Patrick said:
I'm new to the self-observation terminology here, so if I mangle this please feel free to offer correction as it will be gratefully accepted and appreciated.

My little i's (I've long thought of them as "drunken monkeys") have been objecting vehemently to my EE practice; from this I conclude that EE must be a very good thing for the I AM that I seek. The monkeys, though not exceptionally creative at this point, are persistant: not enough time, you forgot to do this, you were going to do that, and so on. I haven't progressed enough in the study of these matters to know what to do about them so I watch, take note, and proceed with EE.

Observing these fools is mostly tiring and a bit depressing (some peace, please!) but, sometimes, amusing. The latest effort has to do with the headphones I've used from the start: they suddenly hurt my ears! Therefore, the monkeys whisper, you would be wise to suspend this business indefinitely until such time as adequately comfortable headphones can be secured.

The monkeys know that I hate dealing with the driving around in a city that this would require and would likely procrastinate. Mail-order would also take time. They seem to have forgotten or can't access my memories of the seas of pain in which I was regularly awash during over 20 years of frequent migraines. I don't like pain but I do like EE. I'm also not fond of these inebriated chimps. Ha! On with the phones, ignore the "pain" and laugh at their latest effort.

I hope you are all finding your practice as rewarding as I am mine.
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Nice analysis and description Patrick! :) What you are doing (in bold above) seems right-on to me.
 
Hi Patrick,
The very act of observing and not caving in does wonders. You are well on your way. It is quite difficult to observe while trying to focus on the task at hand, but as you get better at it, you can expand your observation to what feelings, thoughts and physical sensations the drunken monkeys' statements evoke. If you're already doing that then give yourself credit. I have great difficulty in splitting my attention that way and am making progress at a snail's pace in this regard.

Gonzo
 
Did the full program again this morning, and I could not get into a meditative state at the end of the program. Must be those monkeys! I'm still feeling these tingling sensations moving from my belly area towards my collarbone and also strengthening the pressure felt between the eyebrows. Anyway I have decided not to increase frequency of the full EE, and would rather take it slow than go all out and risk the emotional problems that come up.
 
Patrick, I agree with the others that your on the right track. Just keep at it and the discipline of doing what "it" (or in the case of the "drunken monkeys," "they") doesn't want to do.


I wonder if the tingling is from doing the Ba-Ha round breathing part, beetlemaniac. When I first started doing the program back in the summer of 2009, I used to get the intense tingling in my hands and feet during Ba-Ha and sometimes my face during the first several weeks -- I was also doing the full program everyday at the time. Now it happens rarely and much less intensely, but these and other "symptoms" were mentioned by others in the early part of this huge thread. FWIW.
 
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