EE update
Observations on EE, 2010-2018
I’ve been practicing since I purchased the EE DVD in 2010 (watched it a couple of times at the beginning, then once or twice in the years since, I copied the audio files to mp3’s and transferred them to my iPod and phone to have them on hand) at first sporadically, sometimes not for weeks, then other times intensely liking during a fast I would do EE every day. I joined a local EE group around 2013-2014 and have been doing EE with them most every week, except during the summer break. In the last year or so I’ve been more consistent, practicing EE on my own at least once a week, most often twice a week, and on occasion three times a week. I have been doing POTS almost every night, most often with the guided meditation, but also without.
One thing I have noticed in my EE practise is that at first I was trying to hard, being very focused on doing the count and the breathing correctly (for Pipe Breath) and synchronous breathing during Beatha and POTS, so much so that I often had to consciously relax my arms and hands as they would tense up. For the last two or three years I would say I no longer become tense during EE.
When practising EE at home I often do it while doing an IR sauna in a saunas bag, so I am lying down during EE, and during the local group EE I only sit up for the Warrior Breath, the rest are done lying down. I haven’t done the yoga like warm up exercises at home or at the local group EE practice.
Pipe Breathing
It was pretty easy to learn Pipe Breathing, based on the ‘fogging glasses’ concept. Doing the count by myself was not difficult either. I generally do not do it while sitting as I find it uncomfortable and difficult to do. At one point I was going through a stressful time at work and at home, so I started practising EE in the transit ride to and from work. I did this for a few months but I did not notice any benefits, so I stopped doing it after a while. By benefits I mean feeling more relaxed, less stressed. There may have been a subtle grounding effect. It is possible that during my Pipe Breathing I might have been so conscious of doing the counting and breathing correctly, plus being quiet so that fellow passengers would not notice, may have lessened any beneficial effects. There is a natural tension/relaxation dynamic with Pipe Breath anyway, tension on inhaling and holding, relaxation on exhaling and holding. Reading Healing Developmental Trauma made me think that I may have a problem with the ventral/dorsal vagal nerve also.
The hand positions for the first two Pipe Breathing positions I understand are to acquaint people with the belly breathing technique, as a marker to make sure their belly is rising and falling as they breath. Is there another reason to use these hand positions, perhaps an esoteric reason? Since I have been focusing on belly breathing since my twenties, this is how I most naturally breath these days anyway.
Warriors Breath
I find the Warriors Breath very energizing, either sitting up or lying down.
Beatha
With Beatha I first began to experience “going away” or “zoning out” after a couple of years of practise. During the beginning I can’t remember much if anything in the way of obvious emotional reactions/abreactions, but that may have been because I was focusing on breathing correctly and in the same rhythm as Laura. Generally I don’t have noticeable emotions come up, but have noticed in the past few years that thoughts and sometimes images arise, sometimes anger, or fear/anxiety, sometimes sexual. I am not sure if this would count as being a consequence of Beatha, as they seem so similar to my day-to-day experience. They may be connected to Beatha, or they may be a result of allowing Beatha to become at times somewhat mechanical so that my ‘normal’ consciousness comes into play. When these thoughts/feelings arise, I try to refocus on the breathing, but I am not sure that I should do that. Perhaps I should just observe the thoughts and feelings as in meditation?
I do not freely access my emotions, and I have been telling myself to relax, open up, and allow whatever I feel to come forth while doing Beatha.
POTS
I do the POTS most every night now for the past year. Originally I would just do it as a part of EE, but when travelling I would do the POTS at night before sleep. After reading that Laura was doing it every night, I thought it could be something I could do as well, so I do it most nights. There’s a difference between following Laura in the POTS, and doing it myself. With Laura I can zone out, but come back to her voice and continue the POTS. By myself I can zone out, forget completely where I was, and have to start over, then zone out again, and have to start over. I try to do it about three times, but sometimes I can only do it once. A factor at work here is I am doing it in bed before sleep.
When I do the POTS as part of EE, I do not zone out as often when doing it alone, it is more similar to doing it in the local group EE, but I do usually zone out at least once. In fact I have accused of sleeping! After the POTS is over and Laura asks us to relax, I often do another POTS alone, and try to time it to synch with Laura so that match her when she says “Divine Cosmic mind” then “Bless you all” and then I do a thank you (gratitude). I used to have a hard time opening up enough to feel gratitude, but as I continue, it comes easier.
Many time when I have finished POTS (lately, every time) tears fall. I don’t feel an emotion as such like sadness, perhaps it is connected to gratitude? But I would have tears before I started ending POTS that way, so I am not sure what’s going on, but I am grateful for it. This usually does not happen in the local group EE (because there are people around?)
I noticed that after my sessions with NeurOptimal that I was able to cry emotional tears much more readily (basically I never have before EE and NeurOptimal)
