Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[manitoban]

I had also a 'baby' experience last night during the meditative part of the program. I was listening to Laura's voice and suddenly I felt/ remebered how it is/ was to be a baby being soothed by the voice of my mother. To call it with any specific word, like safe, secure, comfortable or relaxed would be to much of a 'grown up' interpretation of the feeling. I cannot describe it, it just felt like being a baby connected with the mother.

Interesting symbolism here. I had a very pleasant and vivid dream last night after the program. I was being taught the meditation in a classroom with about 5 other students. There was a great atmosphere, very warm and relaxed. The female teacher (Laura?) was splitting her time between teaching us the meditation and going into a room next door where she was delivering newborn babies.

Very interesting that all three of us had some kind of "baby" experience. It did occur to me that the newborn I saw was actually myself, or some kind of symbolism of that time frame. I think that the newborn could symbolise perhaps returning to our earliest experiences but also maybe being reborn in the sense of being a newborn baby. Either way, the whole thing is fascinating!

 

[Turgon]

I use to do it every day too, sometimes even twice. After initial surge in energy I went through pretty strong physical symptoms/pains which culminated in bad case of flu ( most probably swine flu).
For last 10 days I have found myself in the lowest pit ever. Everything has lost its usual flavor and I am just indifferent to everything, even things that use to be very exciting. What worries me the most is the feeling of complete exhaustion, my energy level has never been so low. I don't know what to make of this and I am going to see the kinesiologist for a session of Body talk to try to figure out what is going on.

Hi Corto, have you read the August 15 Session Transcripts with the C's and corresponding thread that goes with it? If not they go into a bit about why some people have been having low energy levels and blockages. I think it might help you to read that as soon as possible. http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=13298.0

Do you think maybe part of the reason your energy is so low is due to some aspect of expectation for something to happen in regards to the breathing exercises as well? Are you practicing Objective Awareness in order to discern when and where you start to lose energy? Maybe a certain idea or line of thinking triggers it, or being around certain places or people. Or has it just consistently been like this as soon as you wake up for the last 10 days?

 

[Iron]

Hello!
I am a long time reader of the forum and associated contents, but until recently struggling with feelings of inadequacy resulting in not posting on the forum.

Time to change this!

Regarding the meditation

I managed to do two full times the program.

In the first time, tingling sensations in the body during the Beatha, my mouth become cold for hours after doing the meditation , kinda like if i had some mints! My girlfriend made me aware of this detail.

Much more energy, and some minor alergic reactions.
Improved mood, some zooning out episodes during the meditation.
Like others, there where times where the voice of Laura suddently became louder on the speakers!
More deja vu experiences.

Thanks all for this gift!

 

[pete02]

Having been doing the complete program every day since Laura released it, I’ve now decided to do it only on Mondays and Thursdays. I don’t think that doing it every day is actually overdoing it, but I do think that by practicing every day I am trying too hard to make something happen, at least at present. And strangely, I think that doing it every day can actually create a barrier to emotional cleansing.

I too have been doing the program every day since its release and I have come to a similar conclusion. I am starting to think that doing it every day is using too much energy and I find that when I skip a day or two, my body feels more relaxed and my mind thinks so much clearer. I'm not so sure about it creating a barrier to cleansing but with my energy being depleted most of the time it might just be making it harder to get the desired results.

I feel that there is an endless ocean of tears in my heart that has been there all my life, and the dam is close to breaking. I want the dam to break, but I have found that forcing it doesn’t have the same quality and result as allowing it to happen naturally.

I also have the impression that there is in me, at a very deep level, a block or impedance to really changing. It’s as though I can see and feel the walls of the prison but cannot see the way out.

I couldn't have said it better myself. This is exactly how I've been feeling. Everyone else is having all these reactions and I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong. I'm giving myself time and not trying to rush anything but I have been asking for a release of the emotions during the meditation that I know are trapped in me and nothing yet. I can feel these emotions more and more in my normal daily routine so I know they are still there but I too feel the walls and can't find a way out yet.

 

[Mike]

A few observation about doing the breathing and meditation. I do the full program twice a week (Mon and Thurs) and Prayer of the Soul meditation before bed.

I find at work when I get my mind reved up about something or agitated (my work place is going through a transition period because of past poor performance) that going to the bathroom and doing the pipe breathing has helped deal with the agitation and stress. It's a nice tool to use and I find I do it about once a day at work.

I did the whole program by myself for the first time on Thursday and felt it went well. I'll have to get some prayer beads or rosary to help count during the Ba-Ha portion since I found I couldn't keep track especially during the faster second and third stages and just went until it seemed enough. There was a big difference in terms of controlling chatter in the mind as compared to listening to Laura in the audio program. I felt I was concentrating a lot more when I was doing it alone and so my mind was more engaged. Specifically during the Ba-Ha portion, I found it challenging to say the Ba and the Ha in my mind without the audio. I kept wanting to try to speak the Ha instead of doing it in the mind and think that I hadn't really been fully saying the Ba and Ha in my mind when doing it with the audio. A couple times when I really had a good rhythm of saying the Ba and Ha in the mind I had a brightening/light in my minds field of vision. Also found that my breathing during the Ba-Ha portion in the past with the audio must have been less controlled where I was kinda jerking my head and stomach some. Maybe I was trying to take in too much air. I was a little apprehensive to do it by myself and think I will rotate one day with the audio and one day without. If you are thinking about doing it alone, I say give it a try.

Last week I was doing the Prayer of the Soul mediation before bed and had the mind brightening/light and at the same time began to become sexually aroused. I didn't have any mind chatter going on and definitely wasn't thinking about sex. I stopped for a little while because I thought it was strange and then continued and the arousal went away. It only happened the one time.

Over the past two weeks I've had nearly constant pressure/feeling in the center of the forehead area and a 'tightness' type feeling in the upper forehead area. When I wake up in the morning it's gone and sometimes it will come and go through out the day. Also varies in intensity.

 

[Z...]

Hi Corto, have you read the August 15 Session Transcripts with the C's and corresponding thread that goes with it? If not they go into a bit about why some people have been having low energy levels and blockages.

Yes and I don't think it can be applied in this case. I never approached Eiriu Eolas as freebie.

Do you think maybe part of the reason your energy is so low is due to some aspect of expectation for something to happen in regards to the breathing exercises as well?

I don't think so. I 've done many different exercises before, never I had less expectation (practically none) then this time.

Or has it just consistently been like this as soon as you wake up for the last 10 days?

Exactly. I wake up feeling like truck went over me, and by midday I am wasted. I have to take naps in the afternoon which is for me extremely unusual. At work I function somehow but it is as if I am on the automatic pilot.
There is a possibility this has nothing to do with the breathing exercises. I am starting to think that something is wrong with my health and I am going to look into this.
It could also be that I have entered what I call vicious entropy circle - when you stop exercising for longer then a week and endorphine supply is low it takes twice the effort to go back to normal regime.
I noticed if I push myself over certain threshold my body stops feeling like lifeless sack of potatoes, but not for long. Today I used every single atom of will power and managed to complete good session at the gym, although I felt better for a while I still slept for almost an hour in the afternoon and when I woke up was back to square one.
Could also be the persistent heat wave and humidity that doesn't go bellow 90 percent 24/7, other people around me are complaining as well.
Whatever it is, it is scary to think that I could remain like this forever.

 

[mada85]

For last 10 days I have found myself in the lowest pit ever. Everything has lost its usual flavor and I am just indifferent to everything, even things that use to be very exciting. What worries me the most is the feeling of complete exhaustion, my energy level has never been so low.

I could say the same but unlike you I am completely numb. No pain, no grief just one big black hole of nothingness.

Everyone else is having all these reactions and I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong. I'm giving myself time and not trying to rush anything but I have been asking for a release of the emotions during the meditation that I know are trapped in me and nothing yet. I can feel these emotions more and more in my normal daily routine so I know they are still there but I too feel the walls and can't find a way out yet.

I was thinking about what I had written, how I've been feeling, your replies and the breathing method, and I wrote in my journal the following which is really me talking to myself, but I wanted to share it with the forum:

So, we have the sections of the breathing program. Part one (three stage breathing) promotes a state of relaxed alertness. Part two (bioenergetic breathing) arouses long held emotions and programs that are held deeply in the unconscious mind and the tissues of the body. Part three (Prayer of the Soul) attunes us to and asks for assistance from the divine cosmic mind.

The first order of business is self-knowledge. Without that we are unable to perceive how we react to new knowledge, emotional situations and life in general. Knowledge protects! And self-knowledge can save us an enormous amount of trouble.

However, self-knowledge seems to be quite challenging. We have to See and acknowledge a lifetime’s pain, the pain of childhood trauma, the pain of a life lived unconsciously. We have to See what we are – a collection of automatic programs, most of them pretty ugly, some of them downright appalling, with perhaps a little light here and there if we are lucky.

That faint glimmer of light is so easily overwhelmed.

What we See and know within ourselves threatens to overwhelm us. Darkness is all around, an ancient and all-encompassing darkness. All appears bleak and hopeless, and the only ray of hope is the Prayer.

And yet, having descended into these stygian deeps, where It screams for us to stop, and tries every devious trick to get us to reverse our tracks and return to the old ways and our comfortable sleep, there is no reason to stop the process. The night is darkest before the dawn, and one day, Divine Cosmic Mind willing, the light will arise.

 

[Vulcan59]

The heaviness around the forehead area that I felt earlier on during the breathing exercise has somewhat abated. I only sense it when I am doing the EE but now this "heaviness" has shifted to the base of the skull at the back of the neck. Again it's there throughout the day. Haven't read anyone else reporting this or has anyone else had a similar sensation?

 

[Z...]

And yet, having descended into these stygian deeps, where It screams for us to stop, and tries every devious trick to get us to reverse our tracks and return to the old ways and our comfortable sleep, there is no reason to stop the process. The night is darkest before the dawn, and one day, Divine Cosmic Mind willing, the light will arise.

That was nice. Thanks.

 

[Turgon]

Hi Corto, have you read the August 15 Session Transcripts with the C's and corresponding thread that goes with it? If not they go into a bit about why some people have been having low energy levels and blockages.

Yes and I don't think it can be applied in this case. I never approached Eiriu Eolas as freebie.

Or has it just consistently been like this as soon as you wake up for the last 10 days?

Exactly. I wake up feeling like truck went over me, and by midday I am wasted. I have to take naps in the afternoon which is for me extremely unusual. At work I function somehow but it is as if I am on the automatic pilot.
There is a possibility this has nothing to do with the breathing exercises. I am starting to think that something is wrong with my health and I am going to look into this.
It could also be that I have entered what I call vicious entropy circle - when you stop exercising for longer then a week and endorphine supply is low it takes twice the effort to go back to normal regime.
I noticed if I push myself over certain threshold my body stops feeling like lifeless sack of potatoes, but not for long. Today I used every single atom of will power and managed to complete good session at the gym, although I felt better for a while I still slept for almost an hour in the afternoon and when I woke up was back to square one.
Could also be the persistent heat wave and humidity that doesn't go bellow 90 percent 24/7, other people around me are complaining as well.
Whatever it is, it is scary to think that I could remain like this forever.

I honestly still think it may have to do with blockages or an imbalance going on with you (not to say you shouldn't visit the doctor, which I think if the energy drain is this persistent, you should), but with all that we have read on feeding, and energy drains, have you thoroughly examined all the possibilities that may be causing this reaction. Was there anything going on just before or around the time this lack of energy started to occur. You were very diligent with the Breathing Exercises before, I remember you stating that you even started to 'see' purple energy pulsating around, or something of that nature. Does this still occur. Are you still assessing all your motives, actions and thoughts on a regular basis to see where they are coming from and whether it's not the 'Predator's Mind'

Some of the reasons for asking, is because I was suffering from a severe lack of energy, that started the 2nd time after I did the program. I too would get up in the morning, feeling so tired, and halfway through my car-ride to work, I'm at the point of passing out again. I've been barely able to do anything and I'm not even as old as you are. Mirth!!!

So I've been trying to assess exactly when I've been getting tired, as well as where I've been lacking in commitment to the Work in general. Trying not to feed the Predators Mind by examining all that I think and do (and don't do) as much as possible. It has been effective, I'm not as tired in the last few days (other than a few bouts of extreme tiredness). I've noticed certain areas where I do have the opportunity to give my all, but haven't. Been paying more attention to my eating habits, I've started notice certain foods that 'knock me out'. Practicing Consideration in areas that I noticed I was only considering myself. Which all goes part and parcel with the Breathing Exercises - osit.

I know each of us are different and have our own individual challenges to tackle, but I hope this helps and you find to stop this energy drain.

 

[Oxajil]

I feel that there is an endless ocean of tears in my heart that has been there all my life, and the dam is close to breaking. I want the dam to break, but I have found that forcing it doesn’t have the same quality and result as allowing it to happen naturally.

I also have the impression that there is in me, at a very deep level, a block or impedance to really changing. It’s as though I can see and feel the walls of the prison but cannot see the way out.

I feel the same way and I learned also that patience is very important, the pushing won't help!
When I meditated before this program ''existed'' I never could go ''beyond'' the walls and it was quite frustrating, but when I was doing this program I felt things are going a lot more naturally, I'm not beyond the walls, but I have the faith that maybe it will happen ''some day''. I'm just I think kind of walking or maybe clearing the path to these walls naturally instead of running towards them and trying to knock them down with force.

--

I am so tired of expecting changes in myself from ''myself'' and then be disappointed when these changes do not show themselves. So every time I have this feeling, or no energy or being tired of everything or times of being disappointed, I just STOP and recite the Prayer of the Soul... it cools me down. And perhaps you guys could try that too, see if it helps.

wake up feeling like truck went over me, and by midday I am wasted. I have to take naps in the afternoon which is for me extremely unusual. At work I function somehow but it is as if I am on the automatic pilot.
There is a possibility this has nothing to do with the breathing exercises. I am starting to think that something is wrong with my health and I am going to look into this.
It could also be that I have entered what I call vicious entropy circle - when you stop exercising for longer then a week and endorphine supply is low it takes twice the effort to go back to normal regime.
I noticed if I push myself over certain threshold my body stops feeling like lifeless sack of potatoes, but not for long. Today I used every single atom of will power and managed to complete good session at the gym, although I felt better for a while I still slept for almost an hour in the afternoon and when I woke up was back to square one.
Could also be the persistent heat wave and humidity that doesn't go bellow 90 percent 24/7, other people around me are complaining as well.
Whatever it is, it is scary to think that I could remain like this forever.

I think it is important to go to a doctor and check if all is okay and maybe there is something missing in your diet.

You mentioned sleeping more than usual, this is what the P's have to say (fwiw):

You are mutating so quickly now that certain scientists call the process
a disease. Some are very concerned about it. They have persuaded the
government to invest billions of dollars to research DNA. What is
occurring in your body is certainly not a disease: you are being
naturally mutated and rearranged. This mutation occurs most often while
you are sleeping, so you may be waking up in the mornings noticing that
something feels a little different in your body. You can expect that the
changes will begin to show themselves and that you will develop new
abilities. You will automatically /know, /many things.

At times you will recognize that the energy has become too much and that
you are not calm and centered. This will occur for each and everyone of
you at some point. In some way, you will feel as if too much is
happening: there will be too much data to compute, too many people to
talk to, or too much going on. When this happens, you must think of
yourself as an appliance and unplug yourself. Just like you are a
toaster, simply unplug yourself so that you can be out of use. At those
times, what you need to do more than anything else is rest. Some of you
will need a tremendous amount of sleep at different points. Do not think
you are getting lazy and beat up on yourself; simply acknowledge it.
There will be times when some of you will wish to sleep eighteen hours.
/Do it. /It is necessary. You have no idea of the lands you travel to
and the work done on your physical body when you sleep. It is the time
when you are unplugged from this reality and recharged and taught in
other realities. The bridges, and your eyes, will open between
realities, and you will begin to see and carry these memories.

 

[Z...]

DanielS, I don't remember saying anywhere how old I am, so you might as well be older then me, do not let Dagobah resident tag fool you :P

Now on a serious note, I did closely examine everything that has been going on in my life in past couple of weeks.
I cannot find anything significant that can be linked to this change. The only thing that i can remember is that this shift seems to have occurred after the first and only time I zoned out.
During meditation everything is fine, as it was before- although the purple mesh that I use to see before is not there anymore, its more like complete vacuum, I experience complete absence of thoughts and sensation and am completely focused on breathing or prayer.

In any case I don't want to obsess over this, I am aware of it and have decided to exercise my will power and go back to my usual exercise regime and see what happens.
I am also looking forward to Body Talk session tomorow, maybe I will find out what is going on.

 

[pete02]

DanielS, I don't remember saying anywhere how old I am, so you might as well be older then me, do not let Dagobah resident tag fool you

Hi Corto, just fwi but your age is listed in your profile.. Some of us did that.

 

[Beorn]

Thanks Laura and Anart for your thoughtful responses.

I think the idea that anyone has 'missed' anything, and that is irreparable or lost forever is getting trapped in linear thinking. We are SO limited in our perception, while, simultaneously, our potential is limitless - I mean that literally - so - perhaps - striving to see the potential and not what is missing might be a step in the right direction?

You are right. One of the traps I can fall into is wondering whether I have stuffed up or if/how I will stuff up in the future. Being able to stay in the present and allow for infinite potential is a difficult task, but I'm learning.

I think this program might kill me...

This is a pretty heavy thing to say - could you elaborate? This isn't a game - when one's soul is at stake, all that we 'know' can move to limit and keep one in one's place - it is a very serious and powerful endeavor, but it's also best, in my personal understanding, to never confuse the serious and powerful with the negative or damaging - to anything other than our false personalities. fwiw.

I realized after I wrote this that it was not worded the way I intended it. I should have said 'this emotion is so overwhelming I don't know how I can survive'. I really thought I was going to get swept away. The focus being the emotion rather than the tool, the program, which assisted the opening.

 

[Z...]

Hi Corto, just fwi but your age is listed in your profile.. Some of us did that.

daaah, I never click on people profiles so I completely forgot about that,
don't remember filling it...and its wrong anyway - I am older then that - well its gone now - time is illusion anyway