Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[agni]

Yesterday, after EE breathing I got new sensations. By the end of bio-energetic breathing along with feeling of being filled with electric-like energy, I've started experiencing laughter/giggles, was tough going into meditation as my face got pretty much got locked into smile and I did not want to resist that. If I understood correctly, people doing EE breathing should not restrict any kind of emotion raised from breathing. Had to take a small break to concentrate on meditation.

During meditation, by the end I felt zapped/shaken by Laura's voice. As if voice has grabbed inner self somehow shook me for a moment, as if it was physical. I could almost swear I could see my inner self in frame-by-frame vibration like motion caused by Laura's voice touch.

 

[Ben]

I think I am one of those people for whom the effects of Eíriú-Eolas are gradual and working 'beneath the surface', during the last few sessions I have had a definite sense that emotions are just below the surface, particularly sadness. I hope I am not suppressing them with anticipation and I am trying to concentrate on the breathing and allow things to happen as they will. Last night was an interesting session because a while after I had finished and settled down to sleep VERY intense physical sensations began which I can only describe as 'sensing huge space within my head or field of vision, and a rushing feeling', these were accompanied by rapid and intense twitching of my eyelids and muscles of the face. Very strange, and even stranger dreams and nightmares afterwards!

 

[3DStudent]

For about the last 3 months I've had what feels like energy (?) moving through various parts of my body. It started with my head/brain (the right side) and progressed to the left side of my body (neck, arms) and then to the right and back up to the head (right) side. From there it went along the spine (from top to bottom). Each time, the sensation went up to the crown of my head and went out(?) At this writing, there's some pressure trying to leave from the top of my back and neck.

I'm a few pages behind on this thread but I've had similar experiences to this, though it seems to be very local and not moving. I've had what feels like the chills you get on your back, but on the left side of my head. Not much in the crown area, but I've had that before when I was into energy work. I've also had the back of the neck sensation, the occipital ridge area which was said by the C's to be the origin of jealousy. FWIW

 

[Buddy]

Well, today (Tue. morning after Mon. night's meditation) seems to be a reflective one for me.

My wife woke me gently, giving me plenty of time to observe something slip away from me. :( I was dreaming something that I can no longer recall. It had to do with context and bringing something from a broad view to a narrower one and remembering it (in the sense of making the effort to remember it throughout the day). It seemed so simple, that I felt no effort was necessary to remember this, so as a consequence, I made no effort and watched it slip away as I awoke. That was disappointing. One possible lesson from this could be about not letting myself lose something from lack of effort.

This has happened to me a few times over the years. Whether that is important to say or not in this context, I don't know.

The other thing I wanted to mention is the occasional sensation of being two "I's" at once, in a sense, when I'm verbally (or in written form) expressing myself. Or rather, it seems more like I'm being "me" and while reaching out to communicate, there is this overlay for the communication. I don't think I mean this in a schizophrenic sense (I certainly hope not), rather an awareness of the inadequacy of the language to fully and accurately express what I'm wanting to express or what I'm feeling. (No, that doesn't mean my posts are going to get longer - hopefully, more concise and accurate - more from the heart).

It seems that the part of me that feels, surges and wants to push out and create something when I want to express myself, is fully blended with the "I" that uses the language (intellectual center?) and is functioning as one. If this is just an awareness of identification, then it would be conscious identification for purposes of verbal or written expression, no?

At the time that I am writing, and for awhile afterwards, I feel I was on target; that I said exactly what I wanted to say. Now, however, I look back over certain posts and I think "No, no, no. That's not what I meant. Well, ok, that's what I meant, but that's not the way I wanted to describe or say it. Something about the beauty or the spirit not being fully translated, or fully expressed, and that may be an entirely subjective and presumptuous observation.

This all may sound strange. Maybe this is simply what it's like to sense the language "I" (intellectual center?) working (well or badly or somewhere in between) with the emotional center, simultaneously? Or something similar? At least in this context?

I don't know, but I'm happy for this bit of confusion and these observations, because it means I'm learning more about myself. I'm not implying, by any means, that this is some kind of permanent improvement or Work...just that I observe these things and wanted to share them for what it may be worth.

Of course the negative introject or some other self-doubting "I" hangs close by, saying things like...Buddy, you're just being stupid. Everybody already knows this stuff and can see you don't know what you're talking about...that you're an idiot!

Oh well, I've already admitted I'm a Gurdjieff Idiot. My response? Ok, bring it! Let's get the fire going (the fire that eventually burns away the false personality).

Has anyone else experienced anything like this or have any comments?

 

[luckyvet]

Thanks Laura!

 

[shijing]

Thanks Laura!

Hi luckyvet, and welcome -- be sure to start a thread and introduce yourself in the Newbies section, telling us what brings you here so that we can start getting to know you. Glad that you are having a good experience with the breathing program!

 

[RyanAM]

After doing the meditation last night and going to bed i was nearly asleep when it i felt a great pressure come from the top of my head to my feet, I woke up and tried to fight it off. I am just finishing reading high strangeness and might immediate reaction was this isn't good.

It seems that i have something happening every monday night when i try going to sleep. This pressure going through me was very strong, when i first tried to fight it off it was like i was in an almost paralasys state. When i woke up this morning everything seemed normal, i still haven't had any strange dreams that i can remember, at times i am a little bit irritable.

 

[Mountain Crown]

[QUOTE author=Buddy]Has anyone else experienced anything like this or have any comments?[/QUOTE]

Hi Buddy,

My thoughts have been along these lines lately as well. Could it be that an increase of knowledge and the EE program, (particularly regularly stimulating the vagus nerve) provide a more suitable condition for the observer? Self-remembering feels a wee bit easier, and occurs more often.

G's comment about essence fleeing from the presence of a lie comes to mind. Could it be that any awakening of the emotional center somewhat mitigates this? Seems to me that true feelings are less deceived.

It's clear from your recent posts that communication for you is now a matter of the heart. Maybe the limits of the other centers in the art of communication is now being felt during the observation of it?

I'm going to stop; these limitations are apparent to me now.

 

[RedFox]

After doing the meditation last night and going to bed i was nearly asleep when it i felt a great pressure come from the top of my head to my feet, I woke up and tried to fight it off. I am just finishing reading high strangeness and might immediate reaction was this isn't good.

It seems that i have something happening every monday night when i try going to sleep. This pressure going through me was very strong, when i first tried to fight it off it was like i was in an almost paralasys state. When i woke up this morning everything seemed normal, i still haven't had any strange dreams that i can remember, at times i am a little bit irritable.

I think if it is happening near sleep and your instinct is "this isn't good" then go with the instinct. You could try repeating the prayer of the soul at this point, or perhaps 'Divine cosmic mind, live in me now'.

I wanted to add a few observations and possible understanding. After a period of relative calm I've had more and more old habitual programs running very strongly, and it has been near impossible to head them off.....or perhaps this is me normally and I'm just seeing it for the first time clearly?? I think the later may be more accurate, because I can look back at whole periods and remember my actions and i's with more clarity/consistency. The difference between photos of events and an almost continual film of events.

I felt quite emotional (upset, angry, frustrated, dispairing, with hints of self pity/pity me...generally low and 'trapped' - no room to maneuver) this morning thinking back on yesterday and the programs running to the point where I was going to post about all my programs today in the swamp and ask for feedback on everything.
Even getting stuck in 'imagining'/thinking out the post and what I'd say was frustrating because it was again (at least partly) one of my programs kicking in.....I go off into imagining doing instead of actually DOing.
Still I tried to stay present and let it flow and I got to thinking about it as objectively as I could (I tried to make some space because I was so fixated on it I couldn't see clearly at all), and remembered something I figured out.....I was terrified to face my feelings/let them go. Why should I be terrified to let them go?? all of these programs where running from (bottled/trapped?) emotional energy....so freedom from them was to let go the fuel source, and should not be scary but liberating!!
I remembered then that this terror at facing my emotions may not be my own, infact it was probably the 'predators minds' terror at the idea of loosing its food source! More specifically I realised that at some point early in my life I probably did feel terror at my or others emotions, and having never processed that all the 'predator' has to do is prod the terror and watch the defensive programs run.....the avoidance of that terror.

It appears that Every program I have is the avoidance of true emotional feeling, avoidance of the terror felt that bottles the emotions from correct expression/experience. Not only does my mind usurp the trapped emotional energy to run these programs, but I also think that the emotional energy actually seeks expression (rather than just being trapped) and one of the outlets is the programs.....the emotional centre perhaps projects emotional energy onto other centres in order to express itself. osit

So this is why my programs have been running and I've thought I've been going backwards recently. I think also the headaches/brain fog (not physical, more mental/emotional fog, but fog none the less) is related. Infact on starting this post my mind and memory went blank as to what happened and what I wanted to say, I think it was Trapped in The Mirror that talked about the negative introject and a women who was selling houses having her mind go blank so she couldn't find the way to the house.
I've never had my mind go so totally blank like that.....more importantly I've never managed to fight through it (its still there....but I'm holding a space open to let through these thoughts). I will not let this beat me.

Seems its lifting slowly :)
Hopefully my understanding is getting more accurate (please correct me if its faulty) and hopefully I've expressed it well enough that others who are having trouble in the same areas can see a way through. I understand what you mean Buddy when you say about using your emotional centre along with your intellectual one in posting now.....
I am learning that I need to be more gentle on myself, and observe with gentleness (with emotion). When I start observing myself and becoming frustrated or angry or depressed it starts to divert from feeling emotions....from seeing the self clearly....when I do get a glimpse with the emotions involved....the emotions I may feel (even if they are anger or depression) are not in my thoughts....and they 'taste' different/have a different 'flavour' for want of a better word.

 

[ana]

The other thing I wanted to mention is the occasional sensation of being two "I's" at once, in a sense, when I'm verbally (or in written form) expressing myself. Or rather, it seems more like I'm being "me" and while reaching out to communicate, there is this overlay for the communication. I don't think I mean this in a schizophrenic sense (I certainly hope not), rather an awareness of the inadequacy of the language to fully and accurately express what I'm wanting to express or what I'm feeling. (No, that doesn't mean my posts are going to get longer - hopefully, more concise and accurate - more from the heart).

It seems that the part of me that feels, surges and wants to push out and create something when I want to express myself, is fully blended with the "I" that uses the language (intellectual center?) and is functioning as one. If this is just an awareness of identification, then it would be conscious identification for purposes of verbal or written expression, no?

At the time that I am writing, and for awhile afterwards, I feel I was on target; that I said exactly what I wanted to say. Now, however, I look back over certain posts and I think "No, no, no. That's not what I meant. Well, ok, that's what I meant, but that's not the way I wanted to describe or say it. Something about the beauty or the spirit not being fully translated, or fully expressed, and that may be an entirely subjective and presumptuous observation.

This all may sound strange. Maybe this is simply what it's like to sense the language "I" (intellectual center?) working (well or badly or somewhere in between) with the emotional center, simultaneously? Or something similar? At least in this context?

I don't know, but I'm happy for this bit of confusion and these observations, because it means I'm learning more about myself. I'm not implying, by any means, that this is some kind of permanent improvement or Work...just that I observe these things and wanted to share them for what it may be worth.

Of course the negative introject or some other self-doubting "I" hangs close by, saying things like...Buddy, you're just being stupid. Everybody already knows this stuff and can see you don't know what you're talking about...that you're an idiot!

Oh well, I've already admitted I'm a Gurdjieff Idiot. My response? Ok, bring it! Let's get the fire going (the fire that eventually burns away the false personality).

Has anyone else experienced anything like this or have any comments?

Can you compare what is happening to you, with this:

Q: (L) Okay. Well, we have people working on this breathing and meditation program, and some people are having some unusual experiences physically, and other people are having extreme tiredness, and there's just really the whole gamut going on there. I guess there's really not a clear question about that because that's more or less what we expected: each person is in individual, and the way that they apply the program I guess depends on their level of knowledge...

A: It would be best if you could teach it directly. But under the circumstances with so many in such great need, and the system often restricting their funds and thus their ability to travel and compensate you for your time and energy, it is the best way so far. Some will find their creativity expanding and thus their ability to make more direct connections as a result of the practice!

http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/truth.htm

The true commitment is the artistic one. This is why artists are so often attacked. They are attacked for their morals, for their ideas - even for their work. Yet their essence - their commitment - is the secret which is unassailable. The true artist knows that creativity is its own reward. Ordinary people fear commitment, you see. Ordinary people fear creativity. They know that if they allow that seething cauldron of yellow liquid to boil over within themselves, then their whole lives will be changed. People fear change. People do not wish to be creative and artistic in any real sense. They wish to decorate, perhaps, and to make things around themselves pleasant - but this has little to do with creativity. All spiritual paths should be creative. Creativity is involved with sacrifice. That stew of yellow liquid which boils in everyone is a sacrificial broth...

MH: The sulphur?
OM: Yes, the sulphur. The first of the Three Principles. It is in a sacrificial cauldron. It is an excess. Creativity is Spiritual delight, and overpouring of sulphur. Some time ago you asked me about the word sulphur. We both agreed that Fulcanelli was right, and alchemical sulphur is the equivalent of the sexual energies in man and woman. The sexual energies may come out in a selfish way or in a creative way. Jakob Boehme saw the division in the word sulphur in a slightly different way. He divided the word itself, and said Sul was the soul of a thing, the oil. The Sul is born of the phur, the light. ...Have you ever looked at spilt oil? Under certain conditions it can look like a thin filament of a rainbow. This is the light imprisoned in the oil. The light rises upwards. It liberates the rainbow. It is as simple as that.

MH: Then all creative activity must be "foolish?" In which case, thinking must be "foolish?"
OM: Perhaps thinking is "foolish." Certain forms of thinking undoubtedly are "foolish." After all, most people are vulnerable in their ideas: they fear to think for themselves. The Fool learns to think for himself: he or she makes it an exercise of the soul. Others refuse that Way. This is why our civilization is so under threat. We are living in a world where every effort is being made to ensure that the body is comfortable, yet little is done for the growing soul.

MH:Creativity is itself, a form of selflessness?
OM: Exactly so. Creativity is the giving away of Spiritual energy. Creativity is the soul in the expenditure of a bottomless purse. One gives sulphur away - initially perhaps, through an excess of joy - that is the foolishness of the young. Later, one gives away energy through commitment to an idea. Creativity is the ultimate deed of unselfishness. When a man knows that creativity is its own reward... Well, then he is ready to work with people.You think of yourself as a loner. You do not see how much you are needed. You are needed to point the way.[/quote]

 

[Freelancer]

After seven weeks of the daily practice of the full EE program (I did it 52 times),
I would like to describe my experiences in retrospect.
I probably belong to the group of the "lucky ones" as C's said, because the "rebuilding process" happens so gradually.
Yes, there were several emotional releases, but not extreme ones.
These releases were diverse, mostly sadness/crying, but there were also instances where I felt happiness. The strongest and strangest one was after Victoria (Pepperfritz) died.
That one was strange because I felt a mixture of sadness and anger - I didn't have that before while doing the program.

Also, after about 7 times I had an experience which was very similar to the one described by agni, with laughter/giggles, but mine happened about halfway through the BA-HA portion, so I had to wait until that passed before I continued with the exercise.

After about 20 times, I was able to do the full program without the audio, but I still use it sometimes, because I like listening to Laura's voice - it's very calming.

Overall experience is extremely positive - as I previously described - my energy level is up, my health has improved, including the general mood.

While it's obvious that people have different experiences with the full program, so generalizations are not applicable, I would say that ultimately the result will be positive for all who practice with dedication.
Therefore, persistence pays.

That's it for now...

 

[Iron]

After doing the meditation last night and going to bed i was nearly asleep when it i felt a great pressure come from the top of my head to my feet, I woke up and tried to fight it off. I am just finishing reading high strangeness and might immediate reaction was this isn't good.

It seems that i have something happening every monday night when i try going to sleep. This pressure going through me was very strong, when i first tried to fight it off it was like i was in an almost paralasys state. When i woke up this morning everything seemed normal, i still haven't had any strange dreams that i can remember, at times i am a little bit irritable.

I think if it is happening near sleep and your instinct is "this isn't good" then go with the instinct. You could try repeating the prayer of the soul at this point, or perhaps 'Divine cosmic mind, live in me now'.

Yes, calming yourself down is important, but how to know that this "instinct" is accurate and not the predator frightened?

 

[Tigersoap]

At the time that I am writing, and for awhile afterwards, I feel I was on target; that I said exactly what I wanted to say. Now, however, I look back over certain posts and I think "No, no, no. That's not what I meant. Well, ok, that's what I meant, but that's not the way I wanted to describe or say it. Something about the beauty or the spirit not being fully translated, or fully expressed, and that may be an entirely subjective and presumptuous observation.

Hi Buddy,

Maybe I can relate to that, I would describe it as if I had a big cosmic funnel over my head with plenty of images or words that fully describe something but it has to go through my little pinhead of a brain and be processed through speech or words and then I realize that I was unable to describe fully what I meant and it comes out all wrong or twisted.

I guess that the best I can try to do is cleaning up the filter down here, on this earth and hope and pray for a clearer understanding and wisdow of the divine cosmic mind although with the EE, it seems like I feel more and more like a human jigsaw with mismatched pieces jumbled up together.

 

[Buddy]

Could it be that an increase of knowledge and the EE program, (particularly regularly stimulating the vagus nerve) provide a more suitable condition for the observer? Self-remembering feels a wee bit easier, and occurs more often.

That seems quite possible and may even be the answer.

Maybe the limits of the other centers in the art of communication is now being felt during the observation of it?

Indeed. It feels like the real me being censored or translated out into the world by programs developed for that purpose. The best way to say this is there are no words to express what I feel and want to express. I call on the intellectual center for this and simply do what I can for now. It will take some time think about this.

It's one thing to be able to read and describe this to myself and others, it's quite another to actually feel - to consciously experience your own lack of integration with your biological machine, from time to time,from an observer point of view. To experience it operating without much (or any) reference to the real you.

Thanks for the feedback, MC

 

[Buddy]

I guess that the best I can try to do is cleaning up the filter down here, on this earth and hope and pray for a clearer understanding and wisdow of the divine cosmic mind although with the EE, it seems like I feel more and more like a human jigsaw with mismatched pieces jumbled up together.

Maybe it's the practice of using the Prayer of Soul with sincerity that's helping speed up things for us. Thanks for sharing, Tigersoap. :)