Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Evolutionary1]

As usual, I did the prayer meditation before falling asleep last night--actually this morning. I woke up again within a few hours to heat radiating from my left ear, not very hot or unpleasant, almost like the heat from a tiny flame. I was still half asleep and I recall telling myself not to get caught up in analyzing or anything, just to take notice, and back to sleep I went.

 

[herondancer]

As usual, I did the prayer meditation before falling asleep last night--actually this morning. I woke up again within a few hours to heat radiating from my left ear, not very hot or unpleasant, almost like the heat from a tiny flame. I was still half asleep and I recall telling myself not to get caught up in analyzing or anything, just to take notice, and back to sleep I went.

Interesting. I had forgotten that I also have had spells of warmth in both ear canals for a couple of weeks. As you say, not unpleasant at all, just strange in how localized the feeling was. It hasn't happened lately, though.

Ears clearing??

Herondancer

 

[herondancer]

[quote author=Nienna Eluch]

I am wondering if you are "trying" too hard for a specific outcome? Also, as we are finding out, there are a lot of pent up thoughts, emotions and physical conditions coming up that we have blocked and are now coming to the surface. This may be what is happening to you.

You say that you have had a lot of upheaval in your life and that you have had to have a lot of self control for the last two months. That, to me, is a long time to be keeping things in a controlled way. Maybe this is the way that the EE is letting your body finally relax, along with the cleansing of some of your controlled emotions?

I would say that this is just going to be a normal reaction to the EE. As you say you felt more relaxed this morning. That, in itself, seems to me to be a good thing.[/quote]

Hi Nienna Eluch,

You are probably right that the episode is a clearing due to the EE. As for the mechanical thinking aspect, I don't think it started as a goal, but more of a "I would like to meditate on my tendency to mechanical thinking" and then really try to hear the prayer as freshly as possible. The rest of it was a real surprise.

I have been having to be very calm and controlled for awhile now, and it't not likely to end soon, so perhaps all the shaking was a way to blow out some of the tension around that.

[quote author=Nienna Eluch]

What I'd like to ask is whether anyone experience the increased zoning out, and whether it is a good thing or not. As far as I can see, there's no negative effect and I feel more peaceful and able to cope better during the day. But I just want to be sure. I also miss hearing the POTS. Thanks.

I have to agree with Redfox, that if you are tired when you do this that it is more likely that you will be zoning out more frequently.

But I would also like to say that last night when I did the EE that I was not as tired as usual and as the POTS came on I was ready for it. I was awake and ready to focus on it. I was doing great through the first prayer and then all of a sudden, right in the middle of it, I was gone. I awoke while the final music was playing. I started it again, and the exact same thing happened. So I went to sleep.[/quote]

There really is no pattern is there? I've stayed present through the whole thing, zoned out during the prayer, zoned for the music, and even once zoned just long enough to miss the ba ha breath (guess I didn't need it that night). There's also experience of being so oxygenated that I would forget to breath in and out for a few of the bahas. especially the fast ones. That's really strange.

Herondancer

 

[Hildegarda]

Hildegarda, what does it mean "angry words that were swallowed" ? I do not think I understand.

Sorry I wasn't clear: I meant the words that weren't said at the time, e.g., you were angry at someone or something but said nothing, either out of fear or because it wasn't "the right thing to do". In a larger sense, a repressed negative emotion.

Any suggestions, where I can read about stuff like that which body part/pain responsible for what ? If not too much to ask.

Looking back, I should have probably presented it more as a theory \ hypothesis and not a known fact, so my apologies.

For the ideas on the correspondence between an emotional issue and physical symptoms it may manifest in, consider for example a a book called "Heel Your Body", by Louise Hay. It's a popular small paperback and is available in any store. A translated table in Russian (which I understand to be your native language, forgive me if I am wrong) is available here: \\\http://nkozlov.ru/library/psychology/d3185/ Sorry I couldn't find anything better than a Synton site (Synton is a cult-like
"psychological training" business machine that is growing in popularity in Russia). Looks like they just translated it and put it up.

Her affirmations may be a bit syropy and new-agey (they certainly wouldn't be enough without real changes in the kind of choices we make in our lives), but the ideas on body parts and emotions are, in my experience, pretty accurate.


[quote author=Hildegarda]
You have TMJ flare up for 8 years ??? Does it come & go ? Or is it constant ? Are you getting enough sleep ? [/quote]
[/quote]

It comes and goes. My sleep is all right, but I have to wear a plastic mouth-guard while I sleep. Other things that help: infrared light and also a kind of adjustment that I have learned from a chiropractor-friend and can do to myself. And ibuprofen would, of course, but I haven't taken it for years.

hope this helps!

 

[agni]

Hildegarda, what does it mean "angry words that were swallowed" ? I do not think I understand.

Sorry I wasn't clear: I meant the words that weren't said at the time, e.g., you were angry at someone or something but said nothing, either out of fear or because it wasn't "the right thing to do". In a larger sense, a repressed negative emotion.

Thank you for clarifying. I understood you right than. Just wanted to make sure :)
Oh, boy. I am in big trouble then. I think I got idea of keeping anger below the neck wrong than. If I am angry with someone, I rarely express it to other person, because I think most of these angry reactions I get are from personal programs that I need to work on (keeping anger below the neck?) and when I am blindfolded by my programs, I feel I have no right to be unjust to someone. But of course, in occasions where I can see it's not because of my programs, no problem, I can express it. Am I missing something ?

[quote author=Hildegarda]
[quote author=agni]
Any suggestions, where I can read about stuff like that which body part/pain responsible for what ? If not too much to ask.
[/quote]

Looking back, I should have probably presented it more as a theory \ hypothesis and not a known fact, so my apologies.

For the ideas on the correspondence between an emotional issue and physical symptoms it may manifest in, consider for example a a book called "Heel Your Body", by Louise Hay. It's a popular small paperback and is available in any store. A translated table in Russian (which I understand to be your native language, forgive me if I am wrong) is available here: \\\http://nkozlov.ru/library/psychology/d3185/ Sorry I couldn't find anything better than a Synton site (Synton is a cult-like
"psychological training" business machine that is growing in popularity in Russia). Looks like they just translated it and put it up.

Her affirmations may be a bit syropy and new-agey (they certainly wouldn't be enough without real changes in the kind of choices we make in our lives), but the ideas on body parts and emotions are, in my experience, pretty accurate.

[/quote]

I don't know Hildegarda... hypothesis, theory or not, you seem to point out something right on spot ! :)

I will read the book, seems interesting. And thank you for the link and what keep an eye on.


[quote author=Hildegarda]
[quote author=agni]
You have TMJ flare up for 8 years ??? Does it come & go ? Or is it constant ? Are you getting enough sleep ? [/quote]

It comes and goes. My sleep is all right, but I have to wear a plastic mouth-guard while I sleep. Other things that help: infrared light and also a kind of adjustment that I have learned from a chiropractor-friend and can do to myself. And ibuprofen would, of course, but I haven't taken it for years.
[/quote]

Sorry to hear. I hope it goes away one day, and does not come back. Hang in there !


[quote author=Hildegarda]
hope this helps!
[/quote]

It sure does. Thank you lots ! When others help with puzzle, how can it not ?

 

[anart]

Thank you for clarifying. I understood you right than. Just wanted to make sure :)
Oh, boy. I am in big trouble then. I think I got idea of keeping anger below the neck wrong than. If I am angry with someone, I rarely express it to other person, because I think most of these angry reactions I get are from personal programs that I need to work on (keeping anger below the neck?) and when I am blindfolded by my programs, I feel I have no right to be unjust to someone. But of course, in occasions where I can see it's not because of my programs, no problem, I can express it. Am I missing something ?

Hi Agni, as always, the devil is in the details. I don't think you necessarily have it wrong, in your understanding. When negative emotions are evoked due to internal programs running it is enormously beneficial to 'keep it below the neck' - to keep the fire in the furnace, as it were. This, of course, takes self-observation and some level of knowledge about and control over one's programs - and that is the devil hiding in the details, without that knowledge, things will go awry.

I'm sure Hildegarda will explain the instances she is referring to, regarding 'repressed negative emotions'.

 

[agni]

Thank you for clarifying. I understood you right than. Just wanted to make sure :)
Oh, boy. I am in big trouble then. I think I got idea of keeping anger below the neck wrong than. If I am angry with someone, I rarely express it to other person, because I think most of these angry reactions I get are from personal programs that I need to work on (keeping anger below the neck?) and when I am blindfolded by my programs, I feel I have no right to be unjust to someone. But of course, in occasions where I can see it's not because of my programs, no problem, I can express it. Am I missing something ?

Hi Agni, as always, the devil is in the details. I don't think you necessarily have it wrong, in your understanding. When negative emotions are evoked due to internal programs running it is enormously beneficial to 'keep it below the neck' - to keep the fire in the furnace, as it were. This, of course, takes self-observation and some level of knowledge about and control over one's programs - and that is the devil hiding in the details, without that knowledge, things will go awry.

I'm sure Hildegarda will explain the instances she is referring to, regarding 'repressed negative emotions'.

Hi Anart !

Thank you for stepping in. I don't want to send wrong message or confuse others who might be reading this, so you clarification is very much appreciated.

You made me think. It's kind of shallow of me that I have first considered anger on person to person basis, while forgetting there are many faces of anger. Such as anger with pathologicals & what they are doing to the world and people. Being angry about it and not speaking up or not doing anything about it, would it be an example of swallowing anger (repressed negative emotions) ?

 

[Hildegarda]

I'm sure Hildegarda will explain the instances she is referring to, regarding 'repressed negative emotions'.

yes, thank you for pointing out -- I meant things like childhood anger at mistreatment by parents and peers. Something that happened before one had the capacity to be aware, or something that followed the same path and slipped under the radar later on. Something that is dissociated, dampened and forgotten later on. At least that's how I understood what Hay was saying about the throat, and it seemed to fit me: I had chronic tonsil problems as a kid, and was very angry inside, either not being aware of it or feeling that I have no right to feel this way, so I didn't express much, just felt sad; it all came out later and is still coming out :/

But of course, in occasions where I can see it's not because of my programs, no problem, I can express it.

me too ... :/ but it only hurts people and doesn't help anything, doesn't remove the actual cause of the reaction which ultimately resides inside myself. There was even an article on SOTT about research showing that anger being a self-feeding addiction loop.

So anart is right about the benefits of keeping the anger below the neck, to keep quiet while observing oneself to identify the root of the problem. Or to channel the anger's energy creatively to either do something about the situation or to contribute positively to some task that is important to your Aim, or to understand something about the bigger picture.

The way I see it, it should ideally look like a balanced flow. So if the breathing practice is bringing on tonsil problems, it may mean that perhaps some old things are coming up to the surface and "overflowing the dam" (it is described well in the Deep Therapy in the Fast Lane book, you might find it beneficial to look through it and compare notes, if you haven't done so already). Or may be it has to do with the current events and you are doing too much of the initial "keeping the anger under the neck" part without enough analysis or channeling the energy out actively one was or another. Or it may be something else entirely, or may be nothing at all. Perhaps, if you were to ask yourself, what it can be related to (if anything at all), an idea of some kind would come eventually?

I hope it goes away one day, and does not come back. Hang in there !

thank you very much!

 

[truth seeker]

I want to thank agni, hildegarda and anart for bringing up this subject. I've been having the same issues recently although they've been clearing. I've had the pain/discomfort around the wisdom tooth area but had all 4 extracted roughly 10 years ago and don't have tmj. Therefore I do think it's related to repressed emotions (both past and present). One thing that confirmed this for me just this morning is that last night I held back my true feelings in a discussion I was having with someone. This morning I woke up with neck pain (especially on the left side). I think what the anger I'm feeling is related to old feelings of "This isn't fair." I'll talk this out today with the person I was speaking to last night and see what happens tomorrow and report back on any changes.

 

[mada85]

For the ideas on the correspondence between an emotional issue and physical symptoms it may manifest in, consider for example a a book called "Heel Your Body", by Louise Hay.

Another very useful book is ‘Your Body’s Telling You: Love Yourself’ by Lise Bourbeau.
And thank you to forum member Trevrizent, who brought Bourbeau’s book to my attention.

Or may be it has to do with the current events and you are doing too much of the initial "keeping the anger under the neck" part without enough analysis or channeling the energy out actively one was or another. Or it may be something else entirely, or may be nothing at all. Perhaps, if you were to ask yourself, what it can be related to (if anything at all), an idea of some kind would come eventually?

For this exercise I find that relaxed, associative, journal writing is very helpful. One can start by having the question mind, then begin the journal entry with, for example, the question: ‘What are the words that best describe what I am feeling?’. I find that it takes a little time to ‘warm up’. I often start with just single words, but soon the associations and thoughts begin to flow. It’s important not to censor what you are writing, as you might be surprised or shocked at what you want to write. Just let the words flow, then review it afterwards. You can analyse what you’ve written in terms of programs, narcissistic wounding, etc. This can be a powerful tool for learning about yourself, imho.

Another interesting exercise is to re-write your journal entry, changing every instance of I/me/mine to it/its. This can help to bring some distance and objectivity to your self-observations, and give some insight into your machine.

 

[Alana]

But of course, in occasions where I can see it's not because of my programs, no problem, I can express it.

me too ... :/ but it only hurts people and doesn't help anything, doesn't remove the actual cause of the reaction which ultimately resides inside myself.

I think that expressing anger on some occasions and in the proper way, can be healing as well. I am thinking in cases of asserting ourselves, like for example, letting the person know that their specific behavior made us feel anger at a certain moment. I remember once a person where i work who demanded more from me and my coworker than was in our responsibilities, in a not nice way either. I got really angry, and explained in a higher pitch than i usually talk but without shouting, that he does not have the right to speak to us like this and demand that we do things for him that are not in our responsibilities, when already we have other responsibilities to fulfill. And we both declined to do what he asked us. He went around to complain about us, but not many listened to him, because they know he is "like that".

My program in such situations is to not respond and try to do what i am told so i don't make "waves" - like i did as a child, when i was not given a choice to assert myself or respond even - and then act in passive aggressive ways, getting my little revenge by being a bit later to submit the work for example or fuming on my own. So in this instance, having asserted myself it felt like i "claimed a part of myself" - for lack of better phrase.

This is just to offer a different example, not in any way to take away from anything anart and Hildegarda said. Each situation must be viewed, analyzed and respond to according to what it calls for. And i too recommend the little but enormously helpful book, Deep Therapy in the Fast Lane. It helped me tremendously to follow the author's advice on how to deal with repressed anger when it surfaces, and it sure comes up for me in loads since i started the breathing program

 

[RflctnOfU]

One thing I tried a couple of weeks ago was a 'dual' cycle of the Prayer with a divided attention Forwards and backwards simultaneously (There is a neat symmetry in the prayer), with the Forward direction being in a 'louder voice'...

Kind of like:

Oh divine cosmic mind
Oh divine cosmic mind

Holy awareness of all that exists
the holiness of all life

Carried in the heart
so that I may know and love

Ruler of the mind
Cleanse my heart

etc..

That particular experiment yielded peculiar results about which I will write later, as I've only done it once (a couple weeks ago), and I'd like to do at least three more sessions to see if there are any consistent threads that emerge.

Kris

Hi Kris, I'm curious about why you feel the need to change the prayer at all??

Hi anart. I kind of stumbled upon this by just appreciating the inherent symmetry of the Prayer -- my thoughts wandered to G's talk(s) on prayer and I recalled something about recapitulating a prayer in reverse - then my thoughts went towards the idea of divided attention, and I just did the experiment.

Kris

 

[anart]

Hi anart. I kind of stumbled upon this by just appreciating the inherent symmetry of the Prayer -- my thoughts wandered to G's talk(s) on prayer and I recalled something about recapitulating a prayer in reverse - then my thoughts went towards the idea of divided attention, and I just did the experiment.

Kris

Ah, I see, your thoughts wandered. You were unable to still your mind and simply focus on the prayer as it is. I think many people have this trouble, their mechanical mind starts to wander and tinker and monkey with what they are supposed to be using as a seed for mediation. Instead of meditating, you end up wandering off, tinkering away...

 

[RflctnOfU]

Hi anart. I kind of stumbled upon this by just appreciating the inherent symmetry of the Prayer -- my thoughts wandered to G's talk(s) on prayer and I recalled something about recapitulating a prayer in reverse - then my thoughts went towards the idea of divided attention, and I just did the experiment.

Kris

Ah, I see, your thoughts wandered. You were unable to still your mind and simply focus on the prayer as it is. I think many people have this trouble, their mechanical mind starts to wander and tinker and monkey with what they are supposed to be using as a seed for mediation. Instead of meditating, you end up wandering off, tinkering away...

I don't think I was clear on this. This did not occur during the meditation/prayer. The line of thinking was an associative 'event', but pre-meditation, as it were. As I said I was appreciating the symmetry....association....association....decision to 'do' the experiment/meditation.

Kris

 

[anart]

I don't think I was clear on this. This did not occur during the meditation/prayer. The line of thinking was an associative 'event', but pre-meditation, as it were. As I said I was appreciating the symmetry....association....association....decision to 'do' the experiment/meditation.

Kris

Oh, okay, then we're back to my original question of why you felt the need to change the prayer at all. I understand the associations, but, whether it was during meditation or not, can you see that you're still letting your mind wander with it and tinkering away? This topic was addressed earlier in this mammoth thread - others added things, or changed order and so on and so forth - and it comes down to the mechanical mind feeling the need to twist, to tinker, to make it different from how it is presented - from how it should be. For now, if you can stop the 'i' that needs to make things his own, to do it differently, to twist it just a little, to experiment with it, and just focus on the prayer, as it is, saying the prayer as it is and doing the meditation, then you're on the right track. The discussion about it is fairly early on in the thread, I think, if you'd like to take a look.