Re: Experiment with the spirit board -lies coming through it & how to recognize
anart said:
adam7117, it appears that you are not thinking at all. Is this due to being at your parents, or is something else going on? It is quite disconcerting.
Hi Anart, yes - my mind is quite preoccupied with family at the moment. It has been 9 years since we've been together and it's all very intensely emotional. There's very little time to sit down and quietly think and my mind is a bit overloaded. In fact, when I was writing the message, everyone was waiting to usher me to yet another adventure (trip to Warsaw). I wanted to respond as the issue upset me as well but did not act in a considerate and thoughtful way.
I apologise for the upset it has caused and take the feedback onboard. "I nudged the ball and it fell on my head..." Ouch. :(
Just for the record - when the VB saga was starting, I was one of the people who responded with "Ignore the problem and it will go away, just be nice." (if I recall the events correctly). With hindsight, this was the wrong thing to say. I simply did not understand the magnitude of the problem and had no understanding of psychopathology whatsoever.
As I'm directly interacting with my family at the moment, I'm beginning to think that running this program is an act of rebellion against my overprotective and emotional mother. There was a messy divorce in our family and she dragged the kids into it, using them as pawns in the game played out between the parents. Breton's story is actually eerily similar...
It affected me negatively, I became withdrawn and began to dislike argumentative people of any kind who let emotions rule their behaviour. Like my grandmother (dad's mum), I would prefer to act nice and make good with others - even if it cost me dearly. Just not to argue and keep the peace. But that is very short-sighted.
And, as most kids tend to - I also exhibited similar patterns during adulthood (those same ones I was trying to rebel against) which triggered self-hatred and low self-esteem. So this is where I'm at with the Work. The one thing it's all lacking is asking for feedback from the network as I could be totally wrong about all of this.
I did not mean to say that we should act nice in this situation at all. What has taken place is outrageous, dangerous to the individuals and the group, and very worrisome - hence my attempt at the post. There's just lots of activity and emotional thinking around me at the moment and it's exhausting - I tend to run away from that. So when I got the hint of anger in other posts - I immediately projected my own issues.
Also, the way I express myself in writing is likely causing a breakdown in communication. It is actually similar to spoken word from my whereabouts... I need to remain conscious of that as it is not externally considerate.
This is digressing now and is off-topic so, again, apologies.
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Has anyone been able to get in touch with either of the trio via the phone or in person? The silence is worrisome...