External Consideration turns into Internal Consideration

[Menna]

Wow wow wow...That just clicked with me paragon. I believe I started this thread because when I interact with extroverts or (people that don't think like me) and they do things that I view as disrespectful I get mad or annoyed or it bothers me. Me as an introvert live life based off feelings and from a different way of thinking and put thought into things. This is why when extroverts or people that think differently act and do something thats not to my liking I say. "Why did they do that, wouldnt they think this and know this" when in reality thats not how their thoughts process. They are not doing anything intentionally to hurt they are just doing. As an introvert its hard for me to speak and say what needs to be said at times for my own good. This is what annoys me this is why I started this thread because when I have to do that - Say what needs to be said for my own good. I believe my predator arises and says "They shouldn't make you have to say this or you were disrespected you shouldnt be put in this situation/" When I know I should just do it and be done with it because it is whats best for me (live in the present is so hard sometimes). I guess I have to learn not everyone thinks alike and to talk and communicate ahhhh communicate on every level.

Did the C's also mention how learning is not only fun but stressful as well ;) ... When a situation is stressful for me maybe I should learn that this is time to do the work why am I stressed. Could stress be telling us to stop stressing look, listen and learn.

 

[cubbex]

The interesting part of this eternal consideration and internal is that I did it without knowing the concept, like other things.

Is this normal? I mean usual?

 

[Paragon]

Time is short and i will reply when I get in from work but YES! menna, that is exactly what I'm talking about, you just put it better ;)

 

[Mountain Crown]

Caution is in order not to let introvert/extrovert categorization muddy the waters. These are yet descriptions of inner consideration.

When externally considerate one may choose an introverted or an extroverted type of expression, depending on the situation.

The concept of external consideration simply refers to separating the inner from the outer when relating to others. It's acting out of freedom from how one thinks or feels at any given moment.

It's very much like a controlled folly with the aim of doing what's best for a given situation regardless of how one feels inside. One may choose the role of a total buffoon, an enraged friend or an indifferent bystander.

It doesn't matter how right or wrong one's feeling about another person may be.

 

[Menna]

Ahhh I see and when doing that (Holding back my feelings for the benifit of the situation or relationship) I feel my predator comes out after the situation the predator can last for days not just thoughts or moments but its makes a home in my mind and I am miserable until it leaves. What I can do is not act when the predator is in my head and wait it out till it leaves or I reason with it but this is draining and I feel tired and want to find a way to reduce the amount of time the predator stays in my head and or not allow it to arise at all. To be practical I would like to get to the point where it stops by to get a drink of water not to the point where it sets up a tent and has enough food for three days. To the point where I recognize it but it doesn't take over my thoughts and mind.

One day I would like to get to the point where the predator is extinct but I am not sure if that is possible. Is it?

If I could do this I believe I would truly be happy. I believe this is what is STS in me and is stopping me from living the life I want to live. Sometimes when I get what I want I find it hard to LET myself be happy.

 

[Menna]

I meant it in a serious/funny way... I feel like you need to have a sense of humor about things sometimes or maybe its my buffer who knows.

 

[Paragon]

Perhaps what I am describing is more an inner transformation where I'm beginning to shift my focus from me to the present moment and not letting my negative thoughts influence my actions anymore.

I noticed today in conversations that I was just speaking without having to 'think' about what I was going to say and when one topic finished, another freely popped into my head without wondering what to say next, it felt very natural. And I wasn't freezing up mid sentence or worrying about what the other person thought of me, since my focus was external and not on my own thoughts and how I might be coming across. That's not to say I wasn't considering how the other person was receiving my communication, in fact I was more aware of this, but I was just 'DOing' what was needed without hesitating, rather than being identified with how others perceive say, my voice.

Another thing is notice is that a negative thought would enter my head sometimes and 'switch me off' from this state of mind. It would fill me up with negative emotion that started at the stomach and would make my legs feel like jelly, causing me to mechanically manifest these energies in my thoughts and movements, 'clouding' everything up. But I've been able to counter this by passively observing and not identifying with these negative energies, which then would enable me to regain my focus on the present moment outside of me. Unfortunately sometimes, especially if I'm tired, it's very hard to do this because the negative energy has taken over me completely, and it requires an extra effort, or a memory of how confident I was just 10 minutes ago for example, to balance the books so to say.

I'm not sure what I'm describing but I was reading Dabrowski's Multilevelness of Emotional and Instinctive Functions, and I read the part where it mentioned Inner psychic transformation and how for example introverts gains extroverted Traits and an anxious person becomes more assertive. My own thoughts are that I may be beginning to change certain traits in myself. OSIT

 

[cubbex]

Caution is in order not to let introvert/extrovert categorization muddy the waters. These are yet descriptions of inner consideration.

When externally considerate one may choose an introverted or an extroverted type of expression, depending on the situation.

The concept of external consideration simply refers to separating the inner from the outer when relating to others. It's acting out of freedom from how one thinks or feels at any given moment.

It's very much like a controlled folly with the aim of doing what's best for a given situation regardless of how one feels inside. One may choose the role of a total buffoon, an enraged friend or an indifferent bystander.

It doesn't matter how right or wrong one's feeling about another person may be.

True. Most of the people that really get to know me, say... but you were always kind of, buffon, lol. Don't care really about my person image, I don't want to just create problems.

 

[Menna]

Its a fine line and tough to decide when you have been disrespected and you have to stand up for yourself or when you should not say anything or try to find the correct words to say

 

[cubbex]

Ahhh I see and when doing that (Holding back my feelings for the benifit of the situation or relationship) I feel my predator comes out after the situation the predator can last for days not just thoughts or moments but its makes a home in my mind and I am miserable until it leaves. What I can do is not act when the predator is in my head and wait it out till it leaves or I reason with it but this is draining and I feel tired and want to find a way to reduce the amount of time the predator stays in my head and or not allow it to arise at all. To be practical I would like to get to the point where it stops by to get a drink of water not to the point where it sets up a tent and has enough food for three days. To the point where I recognize it but it doesn't take over my thoughts and mind.

One day I would like to get to the point where the predator is extinct but I am not sure if that is possible. Is it?

If I could do this I believe I would truly be happy. I believe this is what is STS in me and is stopping me from living the life I want to live. Sometimes when I get what I want I find it hard to LET myself be happy.

The predator will exist until we get to be SAO, that's how I see it, because we, being SAS, still have to feed from something, its like a temptation to be feeding again.

I have read one of your post in the fb topic about do the EE, and let me assure you, that the EE will stop your predator in a lot of places of yourself.

100% recommended .

 

[Vulcan59]

The predator will exist until we get to be SAO, that's how I see it, because we, being SAS, still have to feed from something, its like a temptation to be feeding again.

Hi cubbex,

I assume you meant STO and STS in the above sentence?

 

[Psalehesost]

The predator will exist until we get to be SAO, that's how I see it, because we, being SAS, still have to feed from something, its like a temptation to be feeding again.

Hi cubbex,

I assume you meant STO and STS in the above sentence?

It looks that way, and it's also been mentioned before on the forum due to confusion when it's happened that SAS and SAO are the Spanish acronyms equivalent to STS and STO.

 

[cubbex]

The predator will exist until we get to be SAO, that's how I see it, because we, being SAS, still have to feed from something, its like a temptation to be feeding again.

Hi cubbex,

I assume you meant STO and STS in the above sentence?

Yup lol I have confused, that's how I write it in spanish.

 

[Stevie Argyl]

From In Search of The Miraculous

Page 153
External considering is based upon an entirely different relationship towards people than internal considering. It is adaptation toward people, to their understanding, to their requirements. By considering externally a man does that which makes life easy for other people and for himself. External considering requires a knowledge of men and an understanding of their tastes and habits and prejudices. At the same time external considering requires a great power over oneself. Very often a man desires sincerely to express or somehow or other show to another man what he really thinks of him or feels about him. And if he is a weak man he will of course give way to his desire and afterwards justify himself and say that he did not want to lie, did not want to pretend, he wanted to be sincere. Then he convinces himself that it was the other man’s fault. He really wanted to consider him, even give way to him, not to quarrel, and so on. But the other man did not at all want to consider him so that nothing could be done with him. It very often happens that a man begins with a blessing and ends with a curse. He begins by deciding not to consider and afterwards blames other people for not considering him. This is an example of how external considering passes into internal considering. But if a man really remembers himself he understands that another man is a machine just as he is himself. And then he will enter into his position, he will put himself in his place, and he will be really able to understand and feel what another man feels and thinks. If he can do this, his work becomes easier for him. But if he approaches a man with his own requirements nothing except new internal considering can ever be obtained from it.

 

[Menna]

"External considering is based upon an entirely different relationship towards people than internal considering. It is adaptation toward people, to their understanding, to their requirements. By considering externally a man does that which makes life easy for other people and for himself. External considering requires a knowledge of men and an understanding of their tastes and habits and prejudices."

Thank you for this...

This leads me to the questions i need to ask...

So external consideration is understanding another and meeting anothers needs ok that is great and all but when doing this when adapting toward people it is very hard to know when you should external consider (adapt and understand) and when you have to say what you feel or think. What I mean is if you are with someone and they do something that bothers you. Do you tell that person it bothers you? Wouldn't doing that be internal consideration? If you have to adapt and understand people in order to externaly consider them and by telling that person how his or her actions make you feel are you being STS is that internal consideration?