How are you feeling?

I keep waking up around 3am, but the fear has dissipated. I think reading the experiences shared here in this thread has helped me reflect.

I mentioned having had the feeling of defeat. That they, the black t-shirts had won. This, I think, was due to the mental intoxication to which we were subjected from October 7 onwards. I wonder if the Zionist propaganda machine allowed the social networks to share all the atrocities to overwhelm us, intoxicate us and above all desensitize and exhaust us. It also served the purpose of making visible the next external enemy of the United States, so they also did it on purpose in order to set a precedent for the next false flag on U.S. soil.

Is that why there is so much disturbance in the force? It must be something very distressing that our antennas connected to the information field warn us and even send us an energetic feedback.​
 
Tuulikki said:
As @Gaby pointed out humans have a huge resilience to tragedy. We read and see things that would normally break people but somehow they carry on, even after they have lost everyone and everything that made life worth living.
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I find this to be a very important notion, as it seems to be among the psychological knowledge that the PTB uses to bring people down, whether quickly (occasional tragedy), but mostly slowly (as in the boiling frog analogy) - it is known that most will simply endure it and not fight back.

USA's "founding fathers" observed and expressed this in the Declaration of Independence in 1776.
... all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed.
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- Personal translation 1: people will endure any evil until they are pushed to the absolute edge of their tolerance.
- Personal translation 2: people will endure progressively worsening conditions as long as their surroundings, familiar facades, remain in place and it doesn't really look like very much is happening.
 
Its been a very intense year for me, much of it self inflicted i.e suffering the consequences of my behaviour in the past, particularly financially. This has brought a lot of stress and I am under pressure every month to bring in enough cash to pay my businesses bills. I'm managing, just, but its hard work. I tell myself to 'like what it doesn't like', and remind myself I have made commitments to others which would be wrong to walk away from. But if truth be told I feel trapped.

In terms of world events, I dip in and out of paying close attention to reality - its unsustainable to do it day in, day out (for me at least). The extent to which we live in a realm of lies has really sunk in, and there is not much I can do about it. I'm not in the business of trying to convince others of my point of view any more, and there are a tiny number of people in real life who I can discuss events objectively with. And even those guys get a bit squeamish at the depths this forum goes.

I'm in a committed and loving relationship, which I'm confident will last long term. We're invested in each other, in each other's families, and in a shared long term vision. To give myself credit where it is due, this is massive progress for one who has a history of dysfunction in intimate relationships.

I relate to the posts describing moods fluctuating between extremes - I seem to experience joy and connectedness to unprecedented heights, and existential dread in which I'm ready to depart this realm (not in a suicidal way, just 'had enough'.) In connection with those moods, I've been in the midst of a deep dive into the Intelligent Design thread and accompanying reading recommendations, and this has been a great salve for those periods of dread. In fact, I would say that something has clicked and perhaps the terror of death produced by ignorance has passed. That thread has also made me understand how serious this forum is - the contributions are very sophisticated, and has provided some perspective on my 'level.'

I don't know why, but reading the Intelligent Design thread brought awareness to certain behaviours of mine which have been disturbing to recognize. Specifically, I have a tendency to use 'schizoid declarations,' particularly in my working life, seeking to simplify the complex and remove the requisite nuance, and influence people with what I convinced myself was charisma. Alas, the truth is uglier than that. I am mindful of this tendency and am trying to stop behaving in that way. But old habits die hard....

In conclusion, I feel tired to my bones at times, but this year has seen a lot of personal progress, against a background of incomprehensible evil.
 
Alejo said:
Yep, and I do think that the least we can aim for, and perhaps most honorable before embarking in a task of cleaning up the sexual expressing machine is to be honest with the self about that messed-up-ness, essentially being honest about what is being expressed and where it comes from, the drives and the needs and what they mean and so on.. be honest about that with yourself so that you may have a chance at doing something about it.

I think lying to oneself, or at least ignoring those aspects of oneself, is probably the worst thing and one of the reasons why 4D STS finds it as such a great source of energy, I think.


I'm not sure about this though, and this is probably a subject for another thread altogether, but when one really thinks about it, it's impossible to determine what most orgasms in the world mean (we're talking probably billions a day!), pleasurable? technically yes... but positive, that is difficult to determine and who knows, maybe not.

I do hope that most of those are creative, and loving, I actually sincerely do, heaven knows the world could use more love, there's enough misery as it is without factoring in sex, though I digress. But chances are that with everything that goes on in the world, a lot of them are about so many other things, some probably really dark. And even without going too dark, some of them are about lonely and confused individuals.

I do not say the above to bring the conversation down at all, or to discourage sex as a sin, not at all. I don't mean to, I actually bring it up to highlight the importance, in my view, of making love as an expression of being the change you want to see in the world, not that you should make finding a sexual partner your life goal, more... if it is part of your life, now or in the future, then it may be a good idea to ensure it's as loving as you can, without pretending to be something you're not, so love within your capacities, as sincerely as you can, and with the limitations that this reality imposes on all of us.

And I don't think that this means that it has to be super passionate or romantic or look a certain way, I think it's more like, ensure that it is an expression of something true within yourself, that you give to someone else sincerely, and what that looks like in practice? well, it's impossible to know, but it is unique in every occasion methinks.
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An interesting digression within this thread.

In my view, for a man, climax is intrinsically (physiologically) 'draining.' If I go to the gym and lift weights straight after sex, I have less power than if I have not. But that does not make it 'draining' in the sense I use that term when describing 4D STS dynamics. Similarly, my partner's climaxes during the act produce a subtle but tangibly 'draining' effect upon me - physical arousal is slightly undermined, a feeling of thirst produced etc. But again, that does not make the act as a whole draining or self centred, as it is a product of our love and attraction, and a part of the relationship as a whole.

FWIW
 
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