How are you feeling?

[Jo Bugman]

Yep, passing out from a blood draw has happened to me twice. Doesn't mean you're a wuss, though I understand the feeling. For some strange reason it doesn't feel very manly when you pass out for any reason.

Now I just make sure to drink a lot of water beforehand and have something sweet for during or after the process. But it does sound like it was more your inexperienced nurse than you.

Hope the new doc helps to finally get you sorted and feeling like yourself again!

I would also get very light headed when drawing blood. I now warn the nurse that I’m a bit of a ‘wuss’ as well, so they lay me down on a table and I make sure to NOT look at the needle or tube. It worked wonderfully last time.

——
As others have said, thank you for this thread. I’ve been reading it over the past week and it’s wonderful to know what others are experiencing.
I am moving out from my parents home tomorrow morning for a new town and new position for my job. First time living on my own so I’m excited to test myself in this regard. However, my mom just returned from the hospital today after undergoing surgery for appendicitis (she is doing well) and it is a bit of a reality check for me that my parents are getting older. I’m not that far away from them, in Texas terms (lol), but I’m hoping they will follow to be closer so I can continue to help them out.

Overall, reading this thread tonight before I leave tomorrow is leading to a realization of how important this community is for simply having a connection with others that are journeying through life. I know I would feel lost without you guys, thank you so much for all the advice and knowledge you share. You all will be in my prayers and I’m looking forward to experiencing another crazy year together!

 

[Evan]

If you’ll indulge me, I just need to unload. I really have nowhere else and nobody else to which I can do this, so I hope you can forgive me a brief pity party.

As many of you know, I’m in poor health. After numerous spinal fusions, I can barely walk and I’m in chronic pain. I also have liver disease and all that goes with it (hospitalizations for ascites, encephalopathy, etc). I cannot work, and as my mother passed away a few years ago and left me a small inheritance, Social Security has cut off my disability benefits permanently. I have about enough cash to pay for two months rent and then I’m done. Honestly sometimes I wish my health would just fail so I can get out of this hell (but I know that I’d probably just come back in some dystopian hellscape)! My wife has health issues of her own, and it’s looking like we might have to cram into the little apartment her mother shares with my brother in law. At least we have that option, and I’m grateful it’s not full blown homelessness that I’m facing. And I should be able to continue seeing my doctors. So I’m not totally screwed…yet. This is where I say that I haven’t lost my sense of humor and I can laugh at myself. That’s my default defense, so I’m not steering my car toward a bridge abutment just yet. I do wonder what possessed me to choose to live this life incarnate. Guess I didn’t read the fine print. I will say this: without this place and the work I would probably have quit a long time ago, so thanks Laura and everyone for the guidance and the messages. I have to say, it’s been two months since the last published session, and I’m - like everyone I’m sure - going slightly mental waiting for the first session of 2024! The longer the wait, the more I feel totally unprepared for the day when they stop altogether and we’re left on our own to weather the inevitable chaos of our time. Anyway I love you all so very much, and truly best wishes for the new year. May you and yours be blessed with health and happiness through this dark time. And thank you @Joe for starting this thread because I really needed this outlet. I already feel better, less alone and sad just for having this place to write this down and get it out.

 

[1peacelover]

Giving Thanks for your journey!!! We have choices and you have continued on even if it is painful!!! You are stronger than you realize. Have faith. You are present for a reason. Thank you.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

Social Security has cut off my disability benefits permanently

I've never heard of that happening unless maybe a doctor released you for work? Did they give a reason for the cut off??

 

[PERLOU]

Restez fort, vous n'êtes pas seul... Nous ne sommes jamais éprouvés plus que nous ne pouvons supporter...
Paul nous dit: « Dieu est fidèle, et il ne vous laissera pas être mis à l’épreuve au-delà de vos forces, mais grâce à vos épreuves, il vous fournira également le moyen de vous en sortir pour que vous puissiez l’endurer »(1 Corinthiens 10:13).

Stay strong, you are not alone... We are never tested more than we can bear...Paul tells us, “God is faithful, and will not suffer you to be tested beyond what you are able, but through your trials he will also provide you with a way out so that you can endure”
(1 Corinthians 10:13).

 

[Evan]

I've never heard of that happening unless maybe a doctor released you for work? Did they give a reason for the cut off??

When I reported the income, it exceeded the maximum ($2000) I’m permitted to have in cash on hand, so that was why it was suspended. Three years later, when the suspension was lifted I had to reapply all over again. Naturally they denied my application (standard procedure for disability claims), and now I have to hire an attorney and begin the entire process all over again. You’d think that having been awarded it by a judge’s declaration of permanent disability based on my doctors’ testimony in 2013 would still apply, but this is a bureaucracy and logic need not apply. So in a couple of years I’ll get a new judgment, but in the meantime I’m screwed. “Luckily” I live in California, so I qualify for Medi-Cal and can continue to see my doctors, but that doesn’t pay the rent. The only thing that’s kept us going is that over the years I’ve amassed a nice guitar collection, so I’ve been selling those off online, otherwise we’d have been evicted a year ago. I still have a couple of guitars that are worth about $2k each, so if I can find buyers we’ll be able to hold on a few more months.

 

[Alana]

I am glad you shared, Evan, and I admire your fortitude and humor despite the problems you are facing. It is inspiring. I don't know why, but I have the feeling that you will get your benefits back. Have you had the opportunity to contest the decision? I don't know how the system works but it is insane to expect you to live the rest of your life on a small inheritance. I also hope that you have found ways to deal with the side effects of your health conditions and that you have support both in health and heart. And who knows, maybe you chose this life in the body you currently reside in because you had to find this forum, you had to be part of our team. Perhaps in a healthier body, you would have been too busy wave surfing or forest trekking or whatever and not have the time to read and study and think deeply. And maybe you can feel and think deeply and be empathic because of what you have to face. And who knows, maybe in the afterlife your job will be to care for those who feel "unhealthy" in spirit and your current life is your training... Most likely, in your heart, you know why you are here now, as you are, even if not consciously, and you are learning your lessons.

Don't give up yet. You got this, and we got you! We've watched this "show" this far, let's see what happens next, yes? I've told my friends a few times already that I feel as if I am watching a really bad movie, but instead of shutting it off, I keep at it because of the company I am watching with. Sometimes there are valuable insights in the movie that I would have missed if I had been watching all alone, and most of the times, the comments made and the discussions that ensue around the salon based on the movie's context are worth way more than the movie itself. Not the best metaphor, I know, but I hope you understand what I mean. Basically, I've been seeing your comments, I know who you are when I see your name and avatar, your contributions to our forum are much appreciated. Let's keep talking and figuring things out in our little salon here while this next episode of the show is playing on.

Many blessings back at you!

 

[Mrs. Peel]

When I reported the income, it exceeded the maximum ($2000) I’m permitted to have in cash on hand, so that was why it was suspended. Three years later, when the suspension was lifted I had to reapply all over again. Naturally they denied my application (standard procedure for disability claims), and now I have to hire an attorney and begin the entire process all over again.

I was also on disability till it turned into "retirement." Yes, there is only so much money you can claim per month and continue receiving benefits. I've been the lawyer route, they will take their fee from your settlement and you won't have to pay anything out of pocket.

 

[Evan]

I was also on disability till it turned into "retirement." Yes, there is only so much money you can claim per month and continue receiving benefits. I've been the lawyer route, they will take their fee from your settlement and you won't have to pay anything out of pocket.

Yes, I went the lawyer route with my initial claim, then again when my aunt passed and left me something, now again with my mother. On the bright side, I’m out of relatives who can die and leave me just enough to put me back in the hole! They do say third time’s a charm. Frankly, from a big picture perspective I would have been better off if my family had died penniless, considering I have to sell everything they left me just to get back to where I was to begin with.

 

[hlat]

Social Security has cut off my disability benefits permanently. I have about enough cash to pay for two months rent and then I’m done.

It might be worth it to talk to the Social Security Administration about getting Supplemental Security Income or restarting Social Security Disability Insurance. Also, to talk to the county welfare office for other government benefits.

 

[Evan]

It might be worth it to talk to the Social Security Administration about getting Supplemental Security Income or restarting Social Security Disability Insurance. Also, to talk to the county welfare office for other government benefits.

Thanks @hlat . I had SSI previously as well. I’ve already filed for reinstatement, it’s just a matter of playing the game with them again. I do appreciate the suggestions. I’ve retained the services of a disability attorney (the same one who got me through it the last time). But even they say it’s going to be a year at least to go through the appeals process all over again. Hopefully by this time next year I’ll be done, though that doesn’t really help me in the present. As I said, I really just needed to vent. My wife is stressed enough with having to find work, so I really don’t like to add to her anxiety. That’s why it’s such a blessing that Joe started this thread. I’m grateful for this place and all of the awesome people here.

 

[EmeraldR]

If you’ll indulge me, I just need to unload. I really have nowhere else and nobody else to which I can do this, so I hope you can forgive me a brief pity party.

As many of you know, I’m in poor health. After numerous spinal fusions, I can barely walk and I’m in chronic pain. I also have liver disease and all that goes with it (hospitalizations for ascites, encephalopathy, etc). I cannot work, and as my mother passed away a few years ago and left me a small inheritance, Social Security has cut off my disability benefits permanently. I have about enough cash to pay for two months rent and then I’m done. Honestly sometimes I wish my health would just fail so I can get out of this hell (but I know that I’d probably just come back in some dystopian hellscape)! My wife has health issues of her own, and it’s looking like we might have to cram into the little apartment her mother shares with my brother in law. At least we have that option, and I’m grateful it’s not full blown homelessness that I’m facing. And I should be able to continue seeing my doctors. So I’m not totally screwed…yet. This is where I say that I haven’t lost my sense of humor and I can laugh at myself. That’s my default defense, so I’m not steering my car toward a bridge abutment just yet. I do wonder what possessed me to choose to live this life incarnate. Guess I didn’t read the fine print. I will say this: without this place and the work I would probably have quit a long time ago, so thanks Laura and everyone for the guidance and the messages. I have to say, it’s been two months since the last published session, and I’m - like everyone I’m sure - going slightly mental waiting for the first session of 2024! The longer the wait, the more I feel totally unprepared for the day when they stop altogether and we’re left on our own to weather the inevitable chaos of our time. Anyway I love you all so very much, and truly best wishes for the new year. May you and yours be blessed with health and happiness through this dark time. And thank you @Joe for starting this thread because I really needed this outlet. I already feel better, less alone and sad just for having this place to write this down and get it out.

Thanks Evan so much for sharing - know that you are loved and supported ,you are in my thoughts and prayers

 

[heinrich]

If you’ll indulge me, I just need to unload. I really have nowhere else and nobody else to which I can do this, so I hope you can forgive me a brief pity party.

As many of you know, I’m in poor health. After numerous spinal fusions, I can barely walk and I’m in chronic pain. I also have liver disease and all that goes with it (hospitalizations for ascites, encephalopathy, etc). I cannot work, and as my mother passed away a few years ago and left me a small inheritance, Social Security has cut off my disability benefits permanently. I have about enough cash to pay for two months rent and then I’m done. Honestly sometimes I wish my health would just fail so I can get out of this hell (but I know that I’d probably just come back in some dystopian hellscape)! My wife has health issues of her own, and it’s looking like we might have to cram into the little apartment her mother shares with my brother in law. At least we have that option, and I’m grateful it’s not full blown homelessness that I’m facing. And I should be able to continue seeing my doctors. So I’m not totally screwed…yet. This is where I say that I haven’t lost my sense of humor and I can laugh at myself. That’s my default defense, so I’m not steering my car toward a bridge abutment just yet. I do wonder what possessed me to choose to live this life incarnate. Guess I didn’t read the fine print. I will say this: without this place and the work I would probably have quit a long time ago, so thanks Laura and everyone for the guidance and the messages. I have to say, it’s been two months since the last published session, and I’m - like everyone I’m sure - going slightly mental waiting for the first session of 2024! The longer the wait, the more I feel totally unprepared for the day when they stop altogether and we’re left on our own to weather the inevitable chaos of our time. Anyway I love you all so very much, and truly best wishes for the new year. May you and yours be blessed with health and happiness through this dark time. And thank you @Joe for starting this thread because I really needed this outlet. I already feel better, less alone and sad just for having this place to write this down and get it out.

thank you for your unload. yes, i sympathize to your difficulties and i am sorry for you. this is where we all thank laura for having created this forum, as a safety valve to release pressure. and yes: its already too much time since the last session. laura, please...

 

[heinrich]

Restez fort, vous n'êtes pas seul... Nous ne sommes jamais éprouvés plus que nous ne pouvons supporter...
Paul nous dit: « Dieu est fidèle, et il ne vous laissera pas être mis à l’épreuve au-delà de vos forces, mais grâce à vos épreuves, il vous fournira également le moyen de vous en sortir pour que vous puissiez l’endurer »(1 Corinthiens 10:13).

Stay strong, you are not alone... We are never tested more than we can bear...Paul tells us, “God is faithful, and will not suffer you to be tested beyond what you are able, but through your trials he will also provide you with a way out so that you can endure”
(1 Corinthians 10:13).

yes, but god seems to overestimate our endurance...

 

[heinrich]

Yes, I went the lawyer route with my initial claim, then again when my aunt passed and left me something, now again with my mother. On the bright side, I’m out of relatives who can die and leave me just enough to put me back in the hole! They do say third time’s a charm. Frankly, from a big picture perspective I would have been better off if my family had died penniless, considering I have to sell everything they left me just to get back to where I was to begin with.

looks like you are in ukraine... sorry for the pun. good luck.