I guess I cannot push through it, I feel I am weak. For all suffering there is in life, I only think of myself. I have become extensively selfish. I want to tell the "STO/STS and 7 densities" Universe: "You cannot fire me anymore, I quit!".That's a good sign. You are beginning to realize the 'futility' of 3D existence. It's a painful realization, but, if you can push through it, and widen your perspective, you will find another subtle meaning to the apparently never-ending STO/STS festival.
I invite you to reflect on what you wrote above after reading the following excerpt carefully.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Joe
- Start date
Luckily, that's almost a sure sign that you're not a psychopath because their worldview is characterized by not worrying about much of anything at all, aside from scheming towards their own fulfillment.
The temptation of nihilism in our day and age is pretty strong, sorry to hear you've been in it for a while. There are no easy answers to such a thing.
It is possible to change such beliefs if you want. It could start by changing the story you tell. You could say, for instance, 'For a long time, I have been selfish - but I choose to change. I choose to change my thinking. I choose to change the words I use. I see now my error, and although despair is here, I will make small changes day by day to overcome my selfishness. I love and forgive myself for the past. I move with as much grace as I can towards the best possible future. ' Or something like that. A small change in the inner narrative can lead to a whole new world. Self-forgiveness can go a long way.
Praying for guidance to the Divine Cosmic Mind can also be a big help, too. Have you tried that?
There's also a bit about depression in the session below. It talks about low times being part of the natural balancing of energies when a large amount of learning is happening. I know I've been in very dark and disoriented places when going through the Work. What really helped at these times was knowing that if I kept the faith and continued on day by day, little by little, learning to love and forgive myself, some good news would be right around the corner.
You may find also the afterlife thread worthwhile, as it really shows how love has touched us throughout our many lifetimes, that love is always here, always has been, and always will be. Some of the books mentioned here are totally mind-blowing! Literally miraculous.
Descriptions of the "afterlife"/5th Density
The following is from a book I have been perusing from time to time called 'When did you ever become less by dying' by Stafford Betty. There are various chapters including: death bed visions, NDEs, apparitions, Poltergeists, spirit attachments etc. The following is from the chapter titled...
cassiopaea.org
The romance novel books are good medicine for nihilism, too, as they show how love and telling the truth can pull us through even the most hopeless of situations.
Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work
I've been asked a number of times about the books that I was referencing in the last session with Cs. I have hesitated to write about it for a number of reasons, the main one being that not everyone can weed when they read and some people miss the crux of the matter by focusing either on the...
cassiopaea.org
Anyways, all the best to you, hope you find some relief soon. And feel free to open up a personal thread if you'd like to talk a bit more about what's going on in your personal life, as sometimes a small change here or there can make a big difference.
Yes, you can push through it. Believe in yourself. Take one step at a time. For the past few weeks, you have asked many, many interesting questions. Compare yourself to where you were a few months or a year ago. Don't you see how much progress you have made? It seems like you are trying to find quick solutions to complex issues. And now that you have realized that these solutions are not as simple as you thought, you are violently throwing yourself in the opposite direction hoping to escape from the cold hard truth. Worry not, it is all lessons; there is no reason to give up.
Viktor, we are all here to learn lessons. As the Cs said that's all there is is lessons.
In the Book Life & Afterlife, it says that those who commit suicides realize that what they did was not very smart because they just have to come back and do the lesson over until they learn it. Suicide doesn't negate learning the lesson.
Also, souls do not cease to exist. The black hole idea you show was how very STS souls end up if they don't decide to become STO. And the black hole will become primal matter, which means that they start all over again from 1st density and continue on from there.
In the Book Life & Afterlife, it says that those who commit suicides realize that what they did was not very smart because they just have to come back and do the lesson over until they learn it. Suicide doesn't negate learning the lesson.
Also, souls do not cease to exist. The black hole idea you show was how very STS souls end up if they don't decide to become STO. And the black hole will become primal matter, which means that they start all over again from 1st density and continue on from there.
Jo Bugman
Jedi
I completed my move a couple months ago to a smaller office in a smaller town for my job. Things have been busy, but much more peaceful compared to the big city I was in.
My fiancée lives in Kenya. Originally, my plan was to move to this town to be in a safe place for when she comes over on the fiancé visa. However, I went to visit her recently and I came back with a strong desire to move to Kenya as soon as possible. One, to be closer to her and two, to get out of the USA before the elections.
We met someone there that worked for the UN for decades and he gave some good advice on seeking employment with them as a good way to get into Kenya for work. In fact, the people we met there were very encouraging of a young couple like us as the next generation. That sense of collectivism is something I haven’t experienced in a very long time here in the US.
I’ve been speaking with my fiancée about it, she is open to any option but obviously prefers us living in the same country as soon as possible as do I. The fiancé visa, I’ve been told, takes anywhere from 12-18 months to process. It’s much easier for me to enter Kenya than her to enter the US.
I’ve been having unpleasant dreams lately about the US being invaded or situations arising where my fiancée and I were unable to get together. It’s not that surprising since I’ve been pondering my options for the last week now, to the point of stress. I’m feeling indecisive, like the window of opportunity is closing. I’m beginning to worry about the future, which is pointless because no one knows what a new day brings. Part of me feels like I should continue the original plans and have her come to America, another part feels like I’m ignoring the signs that things will get worse here and I should just leave before it’s not an option anymore.
In the end, it’s a fear of making the wrong choice, but is there such a thing as the right choice? Because every choice I make is me living life. And all my fears are of ‘what if’s’, or things that haven’t happened, but is it a lack of awareness and wishful thinking to assume things will be normal this time next year, when I can look around me right now and see how the situation is here? I’ve rambled on enough, but writing it out helped.
My fiancée lives in Kenya. Originally, my plan was to move to this town to be in a safe place for when she comes over on the fiancé visa. However, I went to visit her recently and I came back with a strong desire to move to Kenya as soon as possible. One, to be closer to her and two, to get out of the USA before the elections.
We met someone there that worked for the UN for decades and he gave some good advice on seeking employment with them as a good way to get into Kenya for work. In fact, the people we met there were very encouraging of a young couple like us as the next generation. That sense of collectivism is something I haven’t experienced in a very long time here in the US.
I’ve been speaking with my fiancée about it, she is open to any option but obviously prefers us living in the same country as soon as possible as do I. The fiancé visa, I’ve been told, takes anywhere from 12-18 months to process. It’s much easier for me to enter Kenya than her to enter the US.
I’ve been having unpleasant dreams lately about the US being invaded or situations arising where my fiancée and I were unable to get together. It’s not that surprising since I’ve been pondering my options for the last week now, to the point of stress. I’m feeling indecisive, like the window of opportunity is closing. I’m beginning to worry about the future, which is pointless because no one knows what a new day brings. Part of me feels like I should continue the original plans and have her come to America, another part feels like I’m ignoring the signs that things will get worse here and I should just leave before it’s not an option anymore.
In the end, it’s a fear of making the wrong choice, but is there such a thing as the right choice? Because every choice I make is me living life. And all my fears are of ‘what if’s’, or things that haven’t happened, but is it a lack of awareness and wishful thinking to assume things will be normal this time next year, when I can look around me right now and see how the situation is here? I’ve rambled on enough, but writing it out helped.
Wandering Star
The Living Force
About five years ago, a childhood friend committed suicide by jumping out of a seventh-story window.
I was on vacation in the area by chance and I was able to go to the funeral and offer my condolences to the parents. Extreme pain and suffering was the consequence for the family.
The thing is that that night, when I went to sleep, in that moment between wakefulness and sleep, I heard the voice of my childhood friend talking to someone.
He said: "I have lost forty years of time" (he died at that age).
I mention it in case it's of any use related to Viktor post.
I was on vacation in the area by chance and I was able to go to the funeral and offer my condolences to the parents. Extreme pain and suffering was the consequence for the family.
The thing is that that night, when I went to sleep, in that moment between wakefulness and sleep, I heard the voice of my childhood friend talking to someone.
He said: "I have lost forty years of time" (he died at that age).
I mention it in case it's of any use related to Viktor post.
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ImaPrototype
Jedi
about 5 years ago a cousin a grew up with also committed suicide, he'd moved to another state and was kinda famous there got lots of followers both virtual/IRL, i think that amplified some impulsive tendencies and isolated him more which is something threatening most young people these days in the "information era", doesn't help that some school environments are really toxic full of OPs and ideological BS
Ina
The Living Force
Hi, @Viktor, this is a sharing and learning forum, and respectfully so, words and notions are to be respected, even if sometimes grammar might be in default. It happens to me more times I could wish for, however, one should prove good will by reflecting and editing as much as possible.
So, I would like to understand a few ideas.
1. You said that you feel […] the nonsensical and the outright stupid. For me, that was the emphasis of your first sentence. I have a ‘gut feel’ of something not being right, and by extrapolation I might say stupid or nonsensical. Did you mean you can perceive through your gut feeling the STS vs. STO universe? Even my last question does not make any sense... maybe your formulation was about a thought conveyed as a feeling to smooth over the delivery? Perhaps.
2. So, I substituted feel to think in your message and I understood that so far, meaning from what you are aware of, the STS vs STO only, does not make sense.
What makes you think STO vs. STS does not make sense? Do you perhps think theremight be another cathegory? STN - Service to ... nature in 3D?
3. It was sincere and sad your last sentence, but irrational. So, I have to ask, on what basis do you guess wisdom in a course of action?
I can relate with feeling of despair and wanting to quit here and now but many times in life I can also feel joie de vivre and amazment toward Universe.
I wonder what you mean when you see the above. Can you give some examples?
Many years ago I felt the same way: Why the continuous conflict; is it not possible to just get along? But STS/STO is just one duality among a systemic duality that makes up the universe. Any reduction of the axis between the poles of this duality would result in a different universe - probably one less vibrant and less creative. So to me it makes the most sense to pursue knowledge and maximize your own creativity and navigation skills on the roads that open up.
I do not find the STO vs. STS theory wrong, I am not proposing a new category. I meant that existence on an universe like this does not make any sense. Why are we inferior? Why are we not like 5th beings? One might answer "because of our past choices". Okay. So why did we make these choices? I have a gut feeling we are on a trap in which the only way out is becoming Service to None (if that is an option).
Light needs darkness. Maybe beauty needs ugliness. Dualities make diversity, you have a point. On the other hand, it is only fun for those who are beautiful, those on top. Why should we help make this universe any more vibrant to the STO? The road I think as the wisest is considering Service to None.
So this a universe that does not let us to check out
I am going to be honest: I just do not like pain! Those who like it should and must stay on this STO vs. STS game. But that is not my case, quitting maybe is a good decision for me. I know that anything valuable requires effort, but I wonder the best is to just erase one's soul for no longer wanting something valuable.
The rules for the aware are: "No pain, no gain".
The rules for the erased are: "No pain, no need to gain, no wish to gain".
clerck de bonk
Dagobah Resident
Or is it that you see the "game" as all pain and no gain?
