How are you feeling?

[pinkfreud]

T.C-
At the risk of sounding melodramatic, your recounting of watching your coworkers work in the Amazon factory reminded my
of Solzhenitsyn’s stories of laboring with others in the gulag.

I recognized the feeling in The Gulag Archipelago from my own time spent on a factory floor where most accomplished amazing feats of complex small assembly at unbelievable speed, everybody knowing we had to pull through today no matter what. And that we need to do the same tomorrow.

There is so much love through the sadness there, I think, because we see people with hard lives, unsuccessful relationships, not enough of anything, and often not the smartest or most refined. And we see them in a sort of heroic majesty. And it’s real.

The sadness comes because we can recognize what is there in them, and how it seems to be wasted in frivolous or absurd daily goings-on. What’s the purpose? And how can everyone still have so much purpose bursting out of them in these actions?

It is beautiful. And it is horrible. And I love them too!

 

[Alejo]

There is so much love through the sadness there, I think, because we see people with hard lives, unsuccessful relationships, not enough of anything, and often not the smartest or most refined. And we see them in a sort of heroic majesty. And it’s real.

And yet, they all wake up every morning to keep on grinding, we all do.

I've attributed this to life, life finds a way, and human nature or the human spiritual is infused with this life that pushes on. I've often wondered about the immense level of control and pressure we're all under, from all angles, from all sides in this physical realm and in the astral realm and everywhere, and we don't break, or we do, but we carry on, even when we don't want to.

And you contrast that with how fragile life is, water and air can end our existence in this realm, a hard fall, a bug bite, our skin is incredibly fragile, but at the same time, we're extremely resilient. Maybe it is by design, or maybe that design was intended to house spirits/souls that had those characteristics, a soul connected with the source of existence, that continues to expand outwards.

And it's amazing to witness it happening, extremely moving, look at Palestinians, they live on despite everything. Because the people that wake up and keep on keeping on, have to also live with people who only wake up to cause suffering on them, on that spirit that is so forever endless.

And it can always be worse, that's what I remind myself of every now and then.

 

[Breo]

Over the last couple of weeks, I've spontaneously broken down crying three times, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is exactly that I'm crying for.

I am reminded of, when I was at the Barcelona conference. I was in the audience, listening the first time to Laura lecturing live and then tears started and did not stop for quite a while. It was a quiet, strong sensation.

@Kay Kim, I was bewildered too. If any, it was beautiful healing or learning feeling. In hindsight, maybe it was, because there was so much love, truth, light in the room, cleansing the heart and pressure releasing. I don´t know.

T.C., as Paul came to your mind. When reading Paul´s letter on love, I then often am reminded of the pains he endured and his love for humanity and that love "endures everything without weakening."
Thank you for sharing.

 

[PopHistorian]

Respectfully, I'm sorry, I think it's not worth the tangent, as subjective/conversive interpretations of "handle" and "bear" differ and context isn't established. I gave my personal definition of handle, and context as 3D life. So, no replies are necessary. I'll make my point clear here.

Gurdjieff talks about intentional suffering, so suffering as such is not always useless or negative.

I didn't refer to self. In 3D STS life, people routinely misjudge what they can handle, become overwhelmed, and cause disaster, injury, and death to others as well as selves. Some choose to stop handling anything that over-stresses them. Session 18 September 2021:

(L) Most people simply can't handle the stress or pressure, and they make whatever rationalizations they need to themselves to give up or change their course or to justify whatever... Anything to get rid of their stress, any kind of feeling bad.

“Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear.” By Marcus Aurelius

Can you explain why you think that this negates free will?

If Marcus if referring to 3D life, then this statement suggests nature (or higher self or something) is controlling experience. Control abridges free will. If one is shot in the head (and this does happen) they are probably not going to handle it in any sense of the 3D life context, as they are not formed by nature to bear that.

Session 20 June 2009:

A: It is not just "waves" beamed by such things as HAARP or microwaves, it is also a quickening of the cosmos. Those who are not integrated will disintegrate at an even faster rate than ever.

In my opinion, disintegration does not comport with handling or bearing in the context of 3D life.

 

[Z...]

Accepting that some pain is a part of life, at least while we are here in the 3D existence, was also very difficult for me. I used to try to avoid feeling all pain or emotions I do not like - and then I found that this blocking actually creates much more pain and discomfort than what I am avoiding.

I also find it helpful to remember that at any given time we are never given more than we can handle. It is also possible to ask your Higher Self to make it easier for you when you feel it is too much.

Yeah for sure - that was also my biggest life lesson so far.
Its not a walk in the park but facing your fears with spiritual stamina i.e. faith that universe always has your back and calm warrior attitude indeed goes a long way.

 

[Liliea]

Over the last couple of weeks, I've spontaneously broken down crying three times, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is exactly that I'm crying for.

It comes when I think about the world, and life, but it's not simply the horror and the suffering. It seems to come from the combination of horror vs. love.

At the risk of getting a little off the thread, you have made me remember the astrological prospection of these first 15 days of March is very significant that the astrologer (Jose Millan) called it "Fluyan mis lagrimas", "Flow my tears", he explains that :
+Many planets are in transpersonal signs. This means that the transpersonal energy is touching our egos, it is time to be aware that we are immersed in an Aquarian mind (era of Aquarius-mind sharing, out of the ordinary mind, break the circles, open relationships, universal mind) and also immersed in a Piscean feeling (Unity-cohesion, compassion, empathy.) and face with humility the personal divisions, the universal energies (Wave) and dispose ourselves to the will of the universal spirit.
+Conjunction Mars, Venus and Pluto: Who is the owner of my love? Pluto gives psychic reality of things (equalizator). Pisces: is the last sign of the zodiac, it is time to say goodbye to something or to finish something that has been completed. Cry and let it out and dissolve. Learning to let go.
+New Moon March 10. This is the time to mourn because the world is ending, it is dissolving and we must mourn it, piscis shows the illusion and the comedy ends. "father in your hands i commend my spirit".
Well that about sums up that point. I think I will translate it and put it in the appropriate thread.

This is an appropriate time to focus the antennae on this type of energy and let the universe do its work, a time to contemplate, meditate, release, recharge and "store" energy for what is to come.

 

[Konstantin]

Over the last couple of weeks, I've spontaneously broken down crying three times, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is exactly that I'm crying for.

It comes when I think about the world, and life, but it's not simply the horror and the suffering. It seems to come from the combination of horror vs. love.

I would look out and see something that amazed me - human beings striving, pushing the rock slowly up to the top of the hill, doing so in the knowledge that tomorrow, that rock would have rolled back down to the bottom and they'd have to do it again. It's 3:30am, and here are all these unique individuals, with their lives, all stood at their stations packing box, after box, after box. What spirit our species has! I would marvel at these people, and simultaneously feel sadness at the fact that this is what they needed to do, and inspiration at their strength in doing it.

As I said, it's happened a couple of times since, and each time, the theme they seem to have in common is not the horror and suffering in the world, but my love for everyone who is here right now, going through all this.

All of that is a pretty shoddy and poor explanation of what I'm feeling, what I'm seeing. Words can't express it. I just had one of these brief emotional breakdowns when I got home from work and I thought of this thread. Just thought I'd share it.

This is exactly how I felt recently. I would say in the last 4-5 months. A sudden flash of sadness, or depression, but it is neither, or a combination of both. I don't know how to describe it with words.

Some kind of feeling that everything I do is futile, some kind of despair when I see where is this world going on and how the majority of the people don't have a clue and can't see it. But, I know that I have to do what I have to do and that nothing is futile. I fight inside me to break the negative thought loop and get up and do my daily work. This is like a huge, giant battle inside me that as I said I can't describe in words good enough.

In the past few weeks, I have had episodes of Bruxism during sleep. It happened in the past occasionally, but in the last few weeks, it is almost every night. My wife tried to wake me up on a few occasions but I was sleeping so deep that I didn't feel anything.

 

[Renaissance]

And yet, they all wake up every morning to keep on grinding, we all do.

I've attributed this to life, life finds a way, and human nature or the human spiritual is infused with this life that pushes on.

I think about this too. I tend to think it is the Divine within that gives us this fundamental drive to press on each day. We have various forms of corruption within and without that can but the suffering of life front and center, but life still moves on whether we like it or not. And funny enough, I think we tend to not like it! This power of life could be rightly known as something inspirational, and yet it is so often resisted. Interestingly, the nature of our programs is such that they simply do not want us to move on. They are like the antithisis of life. They want us emotionally stuck in a past we don't even remember, or they have us resisting a future we don't yet know. I think this relates to the discussion about handling or bearing life. Accepting, learning from, and then moving on from the past so we may become open to the future. Easier said than done, I know! And really it is this struggle of accepting, learning, and moving on to greet the future that makes up much of our life. We can attempt to do it all our on own, but I think a big lesson here is that we really need others, and others need us to get through it.

 

[BHelmet]

“Breaking down”, to me, is just a turn of phrase used because the facade of the personality has crumbled and vulnerabilities revealed.

As for never being given more than we can handle, I like the Marcus Aurelius quote. The association with the Bible is likely because the eternally optimistic Bible thumpers use this a lot as a coping mechanism rallying cry for the down trodden. But is it true or just a BS rationalization? If a close loved one passes we have no choice but to handle it in some way. And handling does not necessarily mean handling well, or in the most healthy way. LOL, it can mean: how well has the facade been reconstructed or how has the well spring of sorrow and anguish been capped off.

As for knowing why we cry or feel something, that is sometimes a lifelong pursuit. Our emotional response is maybe like our subconscious telling us information that our minds are avoiding. If an emotion is strong enough to breech the fortress walls, then it’s going to be a deep exploration into our inner workings.

But to answer How (or what) are you feeling does not really require rationalizing, theorizing, explanation, judgements or other right-brain pursuits I am leaving out. There is no right answer. The question is can you bypass the mind stuff and get to the actual feeling you are experiencing and name it and share it? The fact that we can be so driven to but a mental wrapper around our emotions just goes to show how out of touch we can be with ourselves.

 

[BHelmet]

Some kind of feeling that everything I do is futile, some kind of despair when I see where is this world going on and how the majority of the people don't have a clue and can't see it.

I’ve felt this at times ever since I was a little kid. It feels like the background or the canvas on which the painting is painted. It stains everything. I fight it. I rebel. But always it returns.

 

[987baz]

There is definitely something "in the air" atm. I have been feeling a bit all over the place, or maybe discombobulated might be a more articulate term. Interestingly, there seems to be a large amount of people I have spoken to who are experiencing "weird" things, lots of accidents, mostly car crashes, some serious some not so much. I have witnessed one myself while I was just talking to mate about it as we crossed the road to go tot he park for a smoke. and have had at least 2 near misses as cars have pulled out in front of me. (as I was writing this, one of my students walked past my office talking to the her car insurance company on the phone as she just had an accident! what are the odds?)

There also seems to be a lot of people with extra health problems, in either themselves or close friends or family. (I know we can put most of them down to the jab, but not all) It just seems there is "something" going on. It feels to me like a "birthing" of some sort, like there is a big change coming, oddly enough, I feel this is a "good" thing, a cleansing, like a new chapter is about to start and this period is bringing things up to be purged. This is my intuitive feeling FWIW and atm it feels heavy and (to use the current slang of my students) icky. As with most transforming things, it's not fun while you're going through it, and we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, do what works for us, be compassionate to ourselves and others, and make the best of it until we can move on to the next chapter

The sense of crying and sadness (as mentioned by others) is there, at times, like it needs to be purged, then full-on gratefulness to DCM. It's a rollercoaster for sure. I have been doing a lot of inner work with my councillor and Kinesiologist and have been in a pretty positive place until last weekend. I have been concentrating on feeling grateful for all the amazing things in this life, this forum, my gifts and talents, the chance to be here for this transformation, friends and family, the list goes on. And that does seem to help, as well as helping others, which the C's have mentioned before, and the positive self talk talked about in other threads.

We know we are here for a reason, we have purpose, we have each other, stay strong brothers and sisters we got this!

 

[Alejo]

I think about this too. I tend to think it is the Divine within that gives us this fundamental drive to press on each day. We have various forms of corruption within and without that can but the suffering of life front and center, but life still moves on whether we like it or not. And funny enough, I think we tend to not like it! This power of life could be rightly known as something inspirational, and yet it is so often resisted. Interestingly, the nature of our programs is such that they simply do not want us to move on. They are like the antithisis of life. They want us emotionally stuck in a past we don't even remember, or they have us resisting a future we don't yet know. I think this relates to the discussion about handling or bearing life. Accepting, learning from, and then moving on from the past so we may become open to the future. Easier said than done, I know! And really it is this struggle of accepting, learning, and moving on to greet the future that makes up much of our life. We can attempt to do it all our on own, but I think a big lesson here is that we really need others, and others need us to get through it.

From another point of view, and since you brought it up, most of these programs are survival mechanisms, ways in which the out psyche found a way to stay alive and not collapse, that is another incredible fact. Yes we do get stuck not living a full life, and that is its own little topic, but the fact remains.. we're alive, and from most of the reading I have done about cognitive science and therapy modalities, it seems that the most important ingredient for improvement or overcoming, is the desire to live differently.

It's so nuts that the greenbaum speech comes to mind, it's possible to torture someone and rely on their capacity and desire to live on to program them, without that.. torturing someone would simply end in death of the body, but it doesn't.

And if we're to take it a bit further, and consider that there's a choosing of the soul about when to depart, even death itself is an expression of this living spirit.

 

[truepositive]

At the risk of getting a little off the thread, you have made me remember the astrological prospection of these first 15 days of March is very significant that the astrologer (Jose Millan) called it "Fluyan mis lagrimas", "Flow my tears", he explains that :
+Many planets are in transpersonal signs. This means that the transpersonal energy is touching our egos, it is time to be aware that we are immersed in an Aquarian mind (era of Aquarius-mind sharing, out of the ordinary mind, break the circles, open relationships, universal mind) and also immersed in a Piscean feeling (Unity-cohesion, compassion, empathy.) and face with humility the personal divisions, the universal energies (Wave) and dispose ourselves to the will of the universal spirit.
+Conjunction Mars, Venus and Pluto: Who is the owner of my love? Pluto gives psychic reality of things (equalizator). Pisces: is the last sign of the zodiac, it is time to say goodbye to something or to finish something that has been completed. Cry and let it out and dissolve. Learning to let go.
+New Moon March 10. This is the time to mourn because the world is ending, it is dissolving and we must mourn it, piscis shows the illusion and the comedy ends. "father in your hands i commend my spirit".
Well that about sums up that point. I think I will translate it and put it in the appropriate thread.

This is an appropriate time to focus the antennae on this type of energy and let the universe do its work, a time to contemplate, meditate, release, recharge and "store" energy for what is to come.

Incidentally this is half the title of a lesser known PKD book: Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said - Wikipedia

Im feeling investigative as almost always, although lethargic and less optimistic then a few months ago with the incessant warmongering around that is not getting the pushback it requires.

 

[Mililea]

There is definitely something "in the air" atm. I have been feeling a bit all over the place, or maybe discombobulated might be a more articulate term. Interestingly, there seems to be a large amount of people I have spoken to who are experiencing "weird" things, lots of accidents, mostly car crashes, some serious some not so much.

I experienced the same, especially yesterday. At first I got a call from a former colleague (and friend, but I think we had the last contact at my last years birthday in July) and she cried at the phone and was panicked and couldn't tell what was going on at first. She told me then, that last weekend she was with her neighbours and had to cough and she stopped breathing and passed out. They told her she was getting blue in her face and after that she went to the hospital but the ECG was good so they sent her home again. The same with a doctor today... he asked her why she is coming to the emergency hour, cause he has a lot of patients who need him, but she seems fine. She said it happened a few times, also when her 2 year old daughter sat beside her. She was so in panic. I was able to calm her down and and told her to go to a doctor who works more holistically, because I didn´t want to scare her more, because my first thought was her vax and booster status... I was kinda confused, that she was calling me of all persons after such a long time of no contact.

And in the evening, I got a message that a former inhabitant of our house took his own life. He moved out in 2022 with his wife, but things didn´t go well and he was going through a divorce and had some health issues and wanted to move in again. The plans were very concrete at that point. We heard from his wife, that he was going through a change of character. I know him as a very calm person, but it seems he was like being aggressive recently. And out of the blue he took his own life.

And we had thefts in our house. Someone broke into two cellars and only stole one backpack from each cellar... I found that weird, even if it would have been someone from the house. Why two backpacks... (this was not yesterday though... )

So, there is definitely something "in the air" at least around here...

 

[loreta]

It's very complex living in such dark times, we have to stay constantly present with ourselves and at the same time be present in front of this reality and not run away from it, look at it but also this look must be put on us. And to be careful, to have 8 pairs of eyes. But we have to live, and be grateful to be alive, do the inner work, see the others who one by one are falling ill because of the cursed vaccine, and all the rest of the tralala of politics with these madmen who govern. How do you survive all that? There are tricks: laughter, which is an exercise that becomes a kind of prayer; praying, and we have a group here that meets every day to pray both for others and for ourselves; reading good books that bring us calm, joy and relaxation; listening to music; and above all working on compassion, which isn't easy, both compassion for others and compassion for ourselves.

I too know people who have had accidents or are ill. Those who are ill don't make the link with the curse vaccine, but I also see that they don't see this reality, aren't aware of what's going on.

Everyone is here to learn. We learn to know each other, to forgive each other, to love. Loving isn't easy, love requires spiritual work and we're living in a time when the spirit has been forgotten, that's why the world is living in this darkness.
And where would I be without this forum, I wonder, without the education it provides, and the support it gives us.

Oh, I forgot: having a dog helps you get through this darkness. Dogs teach us to live in the present, despite everything that's happening around us. And they love. They teach us how to love, because they love us despite what we are. What a wonderful lesson to learn, what a wonderful light they give to us.