Session 25 April 2010

[rylek]

Edit:

From wiki:

Penance is repentance of sins as well as the proper name of the Roman Catholic, Anglican, and Orthodox Christian Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation/Confession. It also plays a part in Lutheran non-sacramental confession. The word penance derives from Old French and Latin poenitentia, both of which derive from the same root meaning repentance, the desire to be forgiven; (in English see contrition). Penance and repentance, similar in their derivation and original sense, have come to symbolize conflicting views of the essence of repentance, arising from the controversy as to the respective merits of "faith" and "good works." Word derivations occur in many languages.

Repentance of sins as in: First admitting you're a jerk, trying to find the cause in yourself rather than in others/outside. You can only deal with yourself, if you can face yourself. Be it the predator, the man-machine, the ego, programs, past life trauma's or many different I's, you have to face and understand them first before you can deal with them. I'm guessing here is where the Dream working comes into place.

Desire to be forgiven: "You must understand that you have been reacting all your life based on emotions from another life that is over and those feelings do not apply here and now."

For a "long time" you have been carrying these emotions from another life into this life and you've been letting those emotions get in the way of your development.
Having this kind of weight on your shoulders might make you sloppy, lose your concentration and slow you down on your way to reaching your goals.
Understanding is the first step, it seems. In understanding these emotions, hopefully, one day you will be able to let them go and see them as a lesson. Leaving them in the life where they were experienced and letting them go in this life.
This way you will "lose" some "heavy weight" that you've been carrying. Which will make you "light", which in turn might make it safer for you to "travel".

Maybe it's time to understand, forgive and deal with what has happened in the past. And "asking for forgiveness" is meaningless when there is no DOing involved.

I'm probably going way off right now, but thought I'd share these thoughts anyway.

IMO very well said and it resonates with me! :)

 

[tykes]

Many thanks for the latest session, this one is really hot off the press considering the latest developments with the Nexus conference.

... Some of the things discussed with "Guest" are eerily similar to stuff I've been thinking hard about the last couple days... These stood out to me in particular...

A: Yes. First admit that you are a "jerk". This must be viscerally known. You must understand that you have been reacting all your life based on emotions from another life that is over and those feelings do not apply here and now.

A: One note to Guest: A key to observing the self is to turn the attention simultaneously towards others to notice their true reactions to what you think you are doing or how you think you are being perceived.

For me this is also something that I should be really focusing on, probably a good wake up call :)

Same Here.
Very interesting session as usual, particularly the part about the Dream Work , it sounds like a new tool we should learn to use. Thanks for the session. :)

 

[StandingOnTheEdge]

Session Date: April 25th 2010

Q: (L) And who do we have with us this evening?

A: Nilennioa of Cassiopaea.

Q: (L) I've often wondered when these names come up. They're just such strange things. What is it that they mean?

A: They relate to the specific vibrational frequency of the moment as expressed by the numerical frequency of the combination of vowels and consonants.

Q: (L) What is the numerical frequency of a vowel and consonant?

A: It is a science barely understood by your civilization but was once well known. Words have deeper meaning than you suspect.

Thanks so much for the whole session. There's so much to contemplate about it.

I'm resonating with the above quote, especially the numerical frequency of vowels and consonants. It harkens to what has been said of the ancient songs and dances that I look forward to someday learning. The vibrational energy of sounding a note in conjunction with it being a vowel or consonant must have an energy that could possibly 'move mountains'.

Someone on the forum suggested saying the Prayer of the Soul aloud, or even singing it, and the other day I found myself putting music on the words of the PoTS. I was trying to match the pitch of the sung word to how it came from my spoken word. In doing so, there was what seemed a more intensified energy coming into me.

It seems that Nilennioa is suggesting that the right combination of vowels and consonants 'of the moment' brings a healing,(at least I hope it to be healing) energy to the reader, and possibly if that reader speaks or sings, the energy could be amplified.

I know all of this thought is subjective and disorganized, but it certainly has captured my curiosity.

 

[Lizziespreparetogovegan]

Thanks for this session

As others have mentioned this seemed very pertinent:

Beware, there is a "cutoff" point past which there are no further opportunities in this life.

and not just for 'Guest'.

Personally, I think there is so much more to this statement than meets the eye. I have been sensing this urgency recently regarding 'The Work' and the fact that it's simply not the case that I can just get round to the Doing aspect of the work on myself whenever I feel like it. In fact I've had the very definite feeling that time is potentially going to run out (for me) at some point.

Regarding this, I'm going to make a very simple point here, but I feel it's a crucial one. I'm currently working my way through the 'Big Five' psychology books at the moment which have been enormously helpful in helping to identify mechanical and narcissistic traits, and yes, actually change my behaviour.

But I've also been left with the stark realisation that had I explored this information months ago (as was recommended when I initially joined the forum) I could have avoided causing considerable pain and distress to others through the knowledge I've gained only recently in a very practical sense. In this respect, the work on ones self really is the enactment of free will and a conscious choice to change the future, or if you prefer, to ensure that the path of entropy is avoided. Again, I'm probably stating the blinding obvious here so thanks for letting me work it through in my own head!

The quote also reminded me of a session in the 'The Wave' where Laura was discussing 4D STS control with the C's. She asked if we were stuck in a Time Loop and the C's simply replied 'Yes' (as I remember). Now I may be way off here but it occurs to me sometimes that our own individual lives are really a potential microcosm of this 'Time Loop' (I know my own life feels like one sometimes ).

And when I read both all the beautiful and terrible experiences of the forum members here, I can't help but think that to some extent the 'Macro Quantum Collapse' is being played out through us. In other words, the potential of 'The Work' is directly analogous to the potential of 'The Wave': Both are simply a gigantic struggle between Creation and Entropy.

So maybe is time to prioritize and Do, non stop.

Yes! This is the pencil point as always and when I hear the C's say things like Beware, there is a "cutoff" point past which there are no further opportunities in this life it makes me think that ignoring this 'cutoff' point (wishful thinking) would involve us having to come back and do this all over again

 

[Stuart]

Thanks for the session!

Beware, there is a "cutoff" point past which there are no further opportunities in this life.

That certainly struck a chord.

(L) Dream work is when... and I guess you'll have to read some of Ark's journal entries. What you'll need to do is read some of his journal entries and see how he approached a problem of the self. Then when you see how he wrote it down, how he looked at it, saw it, looked at it from different directions. Once you see how to identify the problems, how to think about them, then what you do is you do the meditation. Then when that's over, or even while you're doing it, you think about the problem. You come at it in the same way as if you were writing about it. Maybe even take memories and you examine them and you think about them. You think about everything you can remember. And then you have it in your mind as you go to sleep. Then, if you wake up during the night with a dream, or in the morning with some insight, you write it down. This is where stuff comes from really deep areas. It may be something that's not so much current life dissociation as it is something even deeper. That might be a question you might want to ask.

I'll be trying this out along with deciphering the dreams I've already written down in my journal.

A: One note to Guest: A key to observing the self is to turn the attention simultaneously towards others to notice their true reactions to what you think you are doing or how you think you are being perceived.

Q: (L) I guess that means you have to be ruthlessly honest. If you think that you are doing this or that, and that it should be being perceived that way, IS that really what's happening? And I guess that means getting feedback. Because you may think that what you're doing is being perceived a certain way, and it isn't. So, self-observing is walking between two worlds: the inner and the outer, simultaneously.

Thanks for that, it's something I need to work on. :)

 

[Nienna]

Thank you for another very interesting session.

Very interesting about Humble and Roads. Also, about the church that Humble is a reverend in.

I am glad that Laura decided to cancel her appearance. It seems that there were other surprises awaiting her and the group going with her.

 

[Windmill knight]

Understanding is the first step, it seems. In understanding these emotions, hopefully, one day you will be able to let them go and see them as a lesson. Leaving them in the life where they were experienced and letting them go in this life.
This way you will "lose" some "heavy weight" that you've been carrying. Which will make you "light", which in turn might make it safer for you to "travel".

Maybe it's time to understand, forgive and deal with what has happened in the past. And "asking for forgiveness" is meaningless when there is no DOing involved.

I'm probably going way off right now, but thought I'd share these thoughts anyway.

IMO very well said and it resonates with me! :)

Yes indeed! Thanks Oxajil. That is close to what I was thinking earlier today in regards to the statement:

"Admitting it, seeing it, atoning by awakening true conscience is essential, and soon."

My problem being that I get attacks of guilt for past 'sins', but the suffering in guilty conscience may not be the act of atonement itself. The real amending and setting the karma straight might come from awakening true conscience, which is the assimilation of the lesson in regards to what we have done and how things can be done differently. Feeling guilt is probably just the burning process by which you begin to awaken true conscience - a new and better version of what we think is right and wrong to guide our behavior. In other words, it's not just 'I won't do that again because I feel horrible', but because I understand, and live by, a different way of recognizing and treating others that puts their needs before my own, and which manifests in a different way of doing. Then I can forgive myself.

I hope that makes some sense. If it doesn't, it's because I'm still thinking about it.

 

[dantem]

So Amsterdam was really a trap in the end... glad you had your eyes open 360 deg. as always

I wish Guest all the best for his quest, that reminds us all that the cutoff depends also on choices and will of the observer. It struck a chord in two ways here, the 2nd being the WWII recall and my own memories as a child who was absolutely frightened by loud sounds of any kind. I still remember being very little and out with my parents walking on a local city's square. Suddenly two old jet aircrafts appeared in the sky flying very low and producing a lot of noise, still remember their gray/green color and shape, and I started to cry immediately after their passage.

It could be anything and still don't know if it can be the reaction of a past memory. Yet neither I nor my mother know why I was doing that all the time, even running away from the washing machine and vacuum when switched on. Lol! My mother spent hours and hours with me in front of that washing machine trying to explain that there was nothing to fear about it!

Thanks for the session!

 

[Learner]

Many thanks for that session!
Having read the recent article on SOTT about the Jim-Humble-Thing last night, I feared for Laura and others of QFS and FOTCM attending the Nexus Conference. Therefore it was really relieving to learn, she has cancelled!

Much of what the Cs responded to Guest's personal issues resonates with me pretty well also, especially this one:

A: One note to Guest: A key to observing the self is to turn the attention simultaneously towards others to notice their true reactions to what you think you are doing or how you think you are being perceived.

Q: (L) I guess that means you have to be ruthlessly honest. If you think that you are doing this or that, and that it should be being perceived that way, IS that really what's happening? And I guess that means getting feedback. Because you may think that what you're doing is being perceived a certain way, and it isn't. So, self-observing is walking between two worlds: the inner and the outer, simultaneously.

I see it as a wake-up-call, to really be honest with myself by facing myself as well as in interactions with others. This is indeed a huge issue for me, that Ark's and Burma Jones' words pretty good summarize:

(Ark) Normally I think we have a fear of asking for feedback because we have the fear that we will be told what we think.

(Burma Jones) All our worst nightmares will be confirmed.

That hits a very deep issue, that is setting me under pressure for the most part of my life; it is related to my fear of being mirrored and to myself's concerns how I come off to others. Well, I guess, that is the Predator's mind, that wants me that way - reluctant in fear, layed in chains and in the darkness, keeping valuable mirroring away from me, that helps me to implement the Work on myself. I should work and network in depth about that.

As I observe my dreams since some years and always regarded them as a valuable approach to my inner life and my issues rooted in the subconcious mind, I want to concentrate on dream work as well, having it accompanied by EE - or having EE accompanied by dream work.

A: More important would be dream work. …
…
(L) Dream work is when... and I guess you'll have to read some of Ark's journal entries. What you'll need to do is read some of his journal entries and see how he approached a problem of the self. Then when you see how he wrote it down, how he looked at it, saw it, looked at it from different directions. Once you see how to identify the problems, how to think about them, then what you do is you do the meditation. Then when that's over, or even while you're doing it, you think about the problem. You come at it in the same way as if you were writing about it. Maybe even take memories and you examine them and you think about them. You think about everything you can remember. And then you have it in our mind as you go to sleep. Then, if you wake up during the night with a dream, or in the morning with some insight, you write it down. This is where stuff comes from really deep areas. It may be something that's not so much current life dissociation as it is something even deeper. That might be a question you might want to ask.

Very interesting session as usual, particularly the part about the Dream Work , it sounds like a new tool we should learn to use.

This to me, and as I have read from the other forum members as well; no time to stall, work has to be done to the best of our abilities.

True, there's no "time" to waste and we have each other to succeed. ... Also, I used to keep notes from everything that I read, I wrote down observations, insights, so on and so forth, and I left that behind a few years ago, it was very helpful, and also helped me as a reminder. Gosh!! I feel like theres a lot to do and so little time, i feel that there's hope but hope comes with pragmatism isn't it? So maybe is time to prioritize and Do, non stop.

Yes, Dream Work in combination with the suggested approach by Laura might maybe indeed a powerful tool to eccalerate the process of The Work, besides of the EE, the diet, the readings, researches - and of course the networking. It is very good that we all have each other. That makes the process easier. Maybe, if we focus all together on what has really to be done - the Work - then probably there might be hope that no one would be left behind that cutoff point the Cs refered to.

 

[theos]

Thanks for posting this session and so fast too! :) I'm glad all this Nexus hullabaloo came to a head. The safety of Laura and the chateau crew as well as the members here is of utmost importance.

About the cutoff remark...It's somewhat similar to something I heard some christian preacher talking about (it wasn't Pat Robertson was it??) many years ago. Something about some kid who wanted to dabble in black magic then come back to christianity after he was done having his fun. This preacher said that there comes a time when your heart will become "hardened" and any opportunities for growth, or coming back to Christ will be lost to you forever. This is a scary thought. There's work to do and no time to dawdle.

It was also interesting hearing the questions about unexplained affinities or aversions to eras in time. I experience this too. I can't decide if it's the Victorian era or Medieval era England that draws my interest but for some reason I've always had a "thing" for England. I've also really dug tribal peoples and settings since I was little.

The dream work is very interesting and I'll be trying it starting tonight. Let's get a thread going :)

Edit: here's a link to Dream Work thread http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=17503.0

 

[Gimpy]

Thank you guys, for the soonest session. It confirmed a few hunches about the conference: that it was about money in the minds of the organizers, and that the danger didn't come from the line up of speakers as much as from whomever is 'putting all their eggs in the same basket' as the headliners. With times so hard, the money issue is going to bring out true colors all over the place.

This stood out to me:

A: It is a science barely understood by your civilization but was once well known. Words have deeper meaning than you suspect.

It reminded me of a book called "Being and Vibration" by Joseph Rael and Mary Elizabeth Marlow. Its been years since I've read it, but it was about vibrational frequencies. It might shed some light on what the C's said, or not, I don't know but thought I'd mention the book as a fyi.

A: Yes. First admit that you are a "jerk". This must be viscerally known. You must understand that you have been reacting all your life based on emotions from another life that is over and those feelings do not apply here and now.

I'd say I'm a bitch, but that seems to go in hand with the whole female existence. ;) I'd also say that I've lived several lifetimes in THIS one, weird as it sounds, that's how it feels....kinda grumpy.

A main concern? Are you guys all right at the chateau? Did this cause a lot of upheaval and hardship for you? Need anything?

 

[Niall]

Thanks for this session

As others have mentioned this seemed very pertinent:

Beware, there is a "cutoff" point past which there are no further opportunities in this life.

and not just for 'Guest'.

Personally, I think there is so much more to this statement than meets the eye. I have been sensing this urgency recently regarding 'The Work' and the fact that it's simply not the case that I can just get round to the Doing aspect of the work on myself whenever I feel like it. In fact I've had the very definite feeling that time is potentially going to run out (for me) at some point.

Paraphrasing the C's: There is no 'time'! It's when you choose that counts.

Regarding this, I'm going to make a very simple point here, but I feel it's a crucial one. I'm currently working my way through the 'Big Five' psychology books at the moment which have been enormously helpful in helping to identify mechanical and narcissistic traits, and yes, actually change my behaviour.

But I've also been left with the stark realisation that had I explored this information months ago (as was recommended when I initially joined the forum) I could have avoided causing considerable pain and distress to others through the knowledge I've gained only recently in a very practical sense. In this respect, the work on ones self really is the enactment of free will and a conscious choice to change the future, or if you prefer, to ensure that the path of entropy is avoided. Again, I'm probably stating the blinding obvious here so thanks for letting me work it through in my own head!

Bingo! When you "work things through in your own head" like this, you're not only showing yourself that you now understand something that you hadn't understood before, by sharing it here you're also helping others who are perhaps stuck with this same problem. A conscious choice to work on oneself changes the future for self and others.

The quote also reminded me of a session in the 'The Wave' where Laura was discussing 4D STS control with the C's. She asked if we were stuck in a Time Loop and the C's simply replied 'Yes' (as I remember). Now I may be way off here but it occurs to me sometimes that our own individual lives are really a potential microcosm of this 'Time Loop' (I know my own life feels like one sometimes ).

And when I read both all the beautiful and terrible experiences of the forum members here, I can't help but think that to some extent the 'Macro Quantum Collapse' is being played out through us. In other words, the potential of 'The Work' is directly analogous to the potential of 'The Wave': Both are simply a gigantic struggle between Creation and Entropy.

Bingo! The Wave is coming and it's happening through us. I feel sorry for all those 2012ers - they're waiting for the Big Show and missing out on all the fun happening right here and now :)

So maybe is time to prioritize and Do, non stop.

Yes! This is the pencil point as always and when I hear the C's say things like Beware, there is a "cutoff" point past which there are no further opportunities in this life it makes me think that ignoring this 'cutoff' point (wishful thinking) would involve us having to come back and do this all over again

 

[Bobo08]

A: “Guest” has lived in a remarkably narcissistic bubble for some time despite all our encouragement. Admitting it, seeing it, atoning by awakening true conscience is essential, and soon. Constant observing of the self and journaling and other contemplation. Perhaps Ark will share some of his journals. You have a similar nature though he is more naturally empathic. Beware, there is a "cutoff" point past which there are no further opportunities in this life.

Like many others, I had the impression that some of the info given to Guest applied to me as well. The above part in particular hit me squarely between the eyes. Thank you for the wake-up call.

 

[anya]

Thanks for the wake up call. I have been really busy at work and now I am working through some health problems. Time to turn my attention back to the Work.

 

[Luis Miguel]

Windmill Knight:

Yes indeed! Thanks Oxajil. That is close to what I was thinking earlier today in regards to the statement:

"Admitting it, seeing it, atoning by awakening true conscience is essential, and soon."

My problem being that I get attacks of guilt for past 'sins', but the suffering in guilty conscience may not be the act of atonement itself. The real amending and setting the karma straight might come from awakening true conscience, which is the assimilation of the lesson in regards to what we have done and how things can be done differently. Feeling guilt is probably just the burning process by which you begin to awaken true conscience - a new and better version of what we think is right and wrong to guide our behavior. In other words, it's not just 'I won't do that again because I feel horrible', but because I understand, and live by, a different way of recognizing and treating others that puts their needs before my own, and which manifests in a different way of doing. Then I can forgive myself.

I hope that makes some sense. If it doesn't, it's because I'm still thinking about it.

It makes a lot of sense, I've felt like that for a long time lately, thanks for your words Windmill Knight, right now i feel very ashamed and angry with my self, for all the stupid and selfish things that I've done, but that feeling alone doesn't help at all, as you mentioned, we need to feel it AND comprehend it rationally, consciously, recognize our unconscious decisions driven by ignorance, to really comprehend the impact of our actions and act accordingly and in tune with that gained insight/knowledge, because we can feel bad and still act in the same way, the Christian dogma see repentance as just feeling bad for your actions - and that could last a life time - in order to be forgiven by "god", but true repentance and "forgiveness" is a conscious assimilation of the lesson as Windmill Knight said, of course it hurts, but is part of this process - Feel/Know/Do - that's real comprehension IMO. Acting with conscious decisions and with real awareness of our past 'sins' is directly reflected in your life, is the evidence that we've have really comprehended the lesson and that we have really 'capitalized' that opportunity that the DCM gave us to grow. Also, that anger/courage must be focused exactly where it belongs, to the forces of entropy, righteous courage as L/Cs have said, we cannot be buried by our grief and courage directed to the self, that's exactly the point and objective of that forces, that could lead us to destruction, a downward spiral. That courage also can give us the strength to continue the path and no turning back again.

Learner:

Yes, Dream Work in combination with the suggested approach by Laura might maybe indeed a powerful tool to eccalerate the process of The Work, besides of the EE, the diet, the readings, researches - and of course the networking. It is very good that we all have each other. That makes the process easier. Maybe, if we focus all together on what has really to be done - the Work - then probably there might be hope that no one would be left behind that cutoff point the Cs refered to.

True Learner. We need to be open, honest, sincere, we cannot continue lying to ourselves and others, it's a fact that several of us still have a lot of dirt to cleanse, just look into the society we live on, just take an honest glimpse to our social and relationship dynamics, we have to recognize what is part of that dirt and what is really us, and do it alone is almost impossible, the predator's mind is too tricky, we need and external observer, and guess what, we have plenty here, beautiful collinear people that really cares about us, for our real self, not the garbage that we have accumulated for a long time, not the lying mask that we think are us, and that sometimes we feel obliged to wear, I really feel that this session was a wakeup call for everyone, we need to start to Work seriously and at full speed, all the pretexts, self-pity, feeling ashamed, so on and so forth, cannot be seen as unclimbable mountains anymore, we are a team, and together we can climb that mountains, is not easy, but with conscious effort we can make it, there's hope, let's act accordingly.