Something is OFF...
- Thread starter Color
- Start date
I'm still behind in my reading, but when I reread sessions from 2019, I needed to find the "state of mind", warnings, of the Cs.
(I found the extract also quoted by Maxwell1110 :)
March 23, 2019
May the 18th, 2019
August the 10th, 2019
December 28, 2019.
For me, this is very beneficial and resourcing, and I hope for you...
And E.E. is of a great help in these balances of each moment.
My starting point is to get out of a state of astonishment -and when it's close to denial of reality, it's my alarm clock-...
If I already know about loneliness and precariousness, the announcement of the chaotic and strange is a real challenge.
Your words to all of you connect me to your humanity and I thank you for that.
On rereading we have all the elements of knowledge to nourish our consciousness and survive.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
(I found the extract also quoted by Maxwell1110 :)
March 23, 2019
May the 18th, 2019
August the 10th, 2019
December 28, 2019.
For me, this is very beneficial and resourcing, and I hope for you...
And E.E. is of a great help in these balances of each moment.
My starting point is to get out of a state of astonishment -and when it's close to denial of reality, it's my alarm clock-...
If I already know about loneliness and precariousness, the announcement of the chaotic and strange is a real challenge.
Your words to all of you connect me to your humanity and I thank you for that.
On rereading we have all the elements of knowledge to nourish our consciousness and survive.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
J'ai encore du retard de lecture, mais en relisant des sessions de 2019, j'avais besoin de retrouver les "état d'esprit" , avertissements, des C.
(j'ai trouvé l'extrait cité aussi par Maxwell1110 :)
Pour moi, cela est très bénéfique et ressourçant, et je l'espère pour vous...
Et E.E. est d'une grande aide dans ces équilibres de chaque instant.
Mon point de départ est de sortir d'un état de sidération -et quand c'est proche du déni de réalité, c'est mon alarme de réveil-
Si je connais déjà la solitude et la précarité, l'annonce du chaotique et de l'étrange sont un réel défi.
Vos paroles à tous me relient à votre humanité et je vous en remercie.
A la relecture nous avons tous les éléments de connaissance pour nourrir notre conscience et survivre
(j'ai trouvé l'extrait cité aussi par Maxwell1110 :)
Pour moi, cela est très bénéfique et ressourçant, et je l'espère pour vous...
Et E.E. est d'une grande aide dans ces équilibres de chaque instant.
Mon point de départ est de sortir d'un état de sidération -et quand c'est proche du déni de réalité, c'est mon alarme de réveil-
Si je connais déjà la solitude et la précarité, l'annonce du chaotique et de l'étrange sont un réel défi.
Vos paroles à tous me relient à votre humanité et je vous en remercie.
A la relecture nous avons tous les éléments de connaissance pour nourrir notre conscience et survivre
I have not been especially depressed or experiencing anything like vertigo, but I can relate to being in a wrong, backwards, parallel reality and I think this has to do with the effect we've noticed over the years of people who believe lies disintegrating. For me it manifests as a sort of rage at being forced into what I consider a fatalistic future. The PTB have created this entirely false reality based on the pandemic and every time you put on a mask or conform to the social distancing guidelines you are participating in the lie and giving it your energy. If you justify your behavior by "stopping the spread" or "flattening the curve" or "people are dying and we're all in this together" you are simply investing more and more of your energy into a black hole which contravenes objective reality. As holes are punched in the narrative regarding such things as hydroxychloroquine and the true fatality rate of the virus, even more energy must be expended to shut out the objective reality and consciousness disintegrates at an exponential pace. You either "smash your soul" by being a good citizen and going along with the program, or you simply cede all of your freewill to the PTB in hopes they will protect you. This is what we are witnessing on a planetary scale; soul-smashing and the "Borgification" of the populace, depending on their inner makeup. If you are wearing the mask just to appease the tyrant, they may not be getting much of your energy, but you are still demonstrating that the freewill of the PTB supersedes your own. The PTB can scoff, "You may not believe our narrative, but look at you. You submit because you are weak and powerless against us." This makes me angry because it is true for the most part.
When I was 18-19 and became more familiar with NWO plans, smart cities, feminist and affirmative action ideologies, and post collapse survivalist theories, my life started to go in a different direction. I was adamantly opposed to living in some type of Judge Dredd style urban hellscape and decided I would stay far away from the large cities, never work for a large multinational corporation, never take a job in a "hip" field which I considered susceptible to jello-brained thinking, and wait for the collapse to come. The collapse has come, but it is a purely stage-managed affair where the government is trying to create tightly managed totalitarian quarantine zones, have everyone eat synthetic zombie meats, abolish private transportation or replace it with ineffective autonomous electric vehicles which can be hacked and crashed on a whim, and essentially reclassify one's body as property of the state. I have absolutely no desire to participate in that reality whatsoever, it's not a future worth living in, and eventually see myself meeting a bloody end because I chose to die on my feet rather than live on my knees performing fellatio on the PTB.
On the other hand, the choices I have made have created a personal reality that is largely insulated from the macro reality. Other than some curtailment of my ability to travel and having to listen to the occasional screaming Karen, my reality has not changed at all prepandemic vs post pandemic. There are no mask orders, I can get by without one, no curfews, and no one to tell me to stay locked down in my own house. The local cops really couldn't care less about any of it. While the big chain stores are starting to push mask requirements, I can take most of my business to independent stores that really don't care about any of that crap. For now, I am still able to choose my own reality and I'm very interested to see if that continues, even if some of the choices are hard. This has kept me on a relatively even keel, but if I ever get backed into a corner of "belong or die," suicide by cop becomes a real possibility. This would suggest to me that my freewill does not matter enough to the universe to be relevant, and if that were true, why stick around? Let 4D STS have their totalitarian transhumanist dystopia or burn the whole planet to ash; I couldn't care less at that point.
So my battle lines have been drawn and I've observed people at work who seemed to be buying into the apocalyptic pandemic line seem to be almost incapable of functioning and behaving erratically. This seems to be most concentrated among white collar types, but it effects everyone. I've seen professional engineers need to be reiterated three or four times on what they need to do because they turn in something that is incomplete or not related to what the original request was. In one case we asked an engineer to put his stamp on an unstamped document he approved and he made a special trip out to stamp the document only to discover he never brought the stamp. Then there was the time we had to get some parts to fix some equipment and the mechanic showed up without all of the parts. Then the second mechanic "fixed" the wrong part. The third mechanic fixed the part that was supposed to be fixed the first time and then broke the part the the second mechanic supposedly fixed. Ultimately, the first mechanic showed up again with all of the parts and resolved the issue. In another instance, a truck was sitting at a shop for a couple of weeks waiting for a part. The shop manager had to be reminded twice before he ordered the part. Then after the part came in they refused to work on it because there was a lingering smell of garbage in the cab which they believed constituted a covid risk. We picked up the truck and scrubbed it down with ammonia, after which point they finally worked on it. Finance people seem to be looking for reasons to decline purchase requests based on very legalistic interpretations of bureaucratic regulations that never mattered before, increasing the amount of redundant paperwork which needs to be done. There also seems to have been some type of push to diversify the HR department because everyone working there was white, which led to the hiring on of a couple minorities and some kind of kerfuffle resulted, however I'm not privy to the details of that one.
So we have the PTB creating their own truth moment to moment with their coronavirus declarations and mitigation strategies, and I'm starting to see this subjective reality paradigm trickle all the way down. In this environment, for people who think like I do, it's really hard to take one's job seriously and you feel like you're held hostage in a badly written Monty Python movie; hoping it all holds together for another day and somehow has a happy ending. The entire nonpathological USA seems to be functioning in a similar manner. From my perspective in 3D, I wonder how long this death march into totalitarianism is going to continue. I find myself wishing for the cosmic changes to come, the bigger the destruction the better. WTF is taking the cosmic intelligences so damn long? At this point, a complete and irreversible apocalypse a la Kantek does not seem like such a great loss. If we're moving into a new density/reality it seems to be the 4D STS one, and while they may not get the last laugh, their energy is certainly dominant at the moment. We shall see whose freewill matters and in what way and how much it matters.
When I was 18-19 and became more familiar with NWO plans, smart cities, feminist and affirmative action ideologies, and post collapse survivalist theories, my life started to go in a different direction. I was adamantly opposed to living in some type of Judge Dredd style urban hellscape and decided I would stay far away from the large cities, never work for a large multinational corporation, never take a job in a "hip" field which I considered susceptible to jello-brained thinking, and wait for the collapse to come. The collapse has come, but it is a purely stage-managed affair where the government is trying to create tightly managed totalitarian quarantine zones, have everyone eat synthetic zombie meats, abolish private transportation or replace it with ineffective autonomous electric vehicles which can be hacked and crashed on a whim, and essentially reclassify one's body as property of the state. I have absolutely no desire to participate in that reality whatsoever, it's not a future worth living in, and eventually see myself meeting a bloody end because I chose to die on my feet rather than live on my knees performing fellatio on the PTB.
On the other hand, the choices I have made have created a personal reality that is largely insulated from the macro reality. Other than some curtailment of my ability to travel and having to listen to the occasional screaming Karen, my reality has not changed at all prepandemic vs post pandemic. There are no mask orders, I can get by without one, no curfews, and no one to tell me to stay locked down in my own house. The local cops really couldn't care less about any of it. While the big chain stores are starting to push mask requirements, I can take most of my business to independent stores that really don't care about any of that crap. For now, I am still able to choose my own reality and I'm very interested to see if that continues, even if some of the choices are hard. This has kept me on a relatively even keel, but if I ever get backed into a corner of "belong or die," suicide by cop becomes a real possibility. This would suggest to me that my freewill does not matter enough to the universe to be relevant, and if that were true, why stick around? Let 4D STS have their totalitarian transhumanist dystopia or burn the whole planet to ash; I couldn't care less at that point.
So my battle lines have been drawn and I've observed people at work who seemed to be buying into the apocalyptic pandemic line seem to be almost incapable of functioning and behaving erratically. This seems to be most concentrated among white collar types, but it effects everyone. I've seen professional engineers need to be reiterated three or four times on what they need to do because they turn in something that is incomplete or not related to what the original request was. In one case we asked an engineer to put his stamp on an unstamped document he approved and he made a special trip out to stamp the document only to discover he never brought the stamp. Then there was the time we had to get some parts to fix some equipment and the mechanic showed up without all of the parts. Then the second mechanic "fixed" the wrong part. The third mechanic fixed the part that was supposed to be fixed the first time and then broke the part the the second mechanic supposedly fixed. Ultimately, the first mechanic showed up again with all of the parts and resolved the issue. In another instance, a truck was sitting at a shop for a couple of weeks waiting for a part. The shop manager had to be reminded twice before he ordered the part. Then after the part came in they refused to work on it because there was a lingering smell of garbage in the cab which they believed constituted a covid risk. We picked up the truck and scrubbed it down with ammonia, after which point they finally worked on it. Finance people seem to be looking for reasons to decline purchase requests based on very legalistic interpretations of bureaucratic regulations that never mattered before, increasing the amount of redundant paperwork which needs to be done. There also seems to have been some type of push to diversify the HR department because everyone working there was white, which led to the hiring on of a couple minorities and some kind of kerfuffle resulted, however I'm not privy to the details of that one.
So we have the PTB creating their own truth moment to moment with their coronavirus declarations and mitigation strategies, and I'm starting to see this subjective reality paradigm trickle all the way down. In this environment, for people who think like I do, it's really hard to take one's job seriously and you feel like you're held hostage in a badly written Monty Python movie; hoping it all holds together for another day and somehow has a happy ending. The entire nonpathological USA seems to be functioning in a similar manner. From my perspective in 3D, I wonder how long this death march into totalitarianism is going to continue. I find myself wishing for the cosmic changes to come, the bigger the destruction the better. WTF is taking the cosmic intelligences so damn long? At this point, a complete and irreversible apocalypse a la Kantek does not seem like such a great loss. If we're moving into a new density/reality it seems to be the 4D STS one, and while they may not get the last laugh, their energy is certainly dominant at the moment. We shall see whose freewill matters and in what way and how much it matters.
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Tauriel
Dagobah Resident
Thank you, Neil, for this post.
It really sounds as if you have your battle lines drawn and that you find a sense of peace behind your rage that's coming from a clear choice.
If the above is what you'd choose in such a situation it would be an act of your free will, I suppose.
"It's when you choose that counts.", as the C's say.
I'm entertaining similiar thoughts at times but I'm not at peace with them so my battle lines are not that clearly drawn.
Since we obviously at one point in no-time decided with our free will to be here in a body to learn why not deciding in such a situation to leave that body?
I wonder where on a scale between STS and STO such an act would be and if it would be beneficial for the soul.
Would it be beneficial for the soul if the intention is to avoid soul smashing?
Or is it like sulling at the universe for believing that your free will isn't worth much?
Is there a great opportunity for growth by learning to not have the soul smashed but even nutured under difficult circumstances?
Playing the scenario in my mind how TPTB just tighten the screws more and more, seeing the forced vaccine on the horizon and imagining myself what to do is all too often just a 3Dmind display and I realize that I leave out faith... I might have none...or I don't have enough otherwise I wouldn't have this program appear, osit.
The C's said.
A: It is not that those who endure to the end will be saved, but that those who endure to the end shall save others. It is your choice to be among those who choose to be a part of the vanguard of the new reality!!!
Goodbye.
They say 'endure to the end...', they don't say ,"live happy until the end...."
As we are here now and have chosen STO - which we all are not- but strive to become, wouldn't staying here as long as possible, still do what we can despite the suffering and 'endure till the end' be a choice that would contribute to all?
Wandering Star
The Living Force
There is a scene in one of the starwars movies, which may be helpful.
It is a laser sword fight between two Jedi and a sid.
Later, one of the Jedi and the Sid are caught in a force field.
The Jedi tries to calm down and prepare for the fight.
The sid fuels his fury and impatient does not stop hitting the force field, wanting to resume the fight.
One is STO, the other STS.
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.
onemen
Jedi
Thank you Color for opening this thread and all who have provided their feedbacks. I'm kind of relieved I'm not the only one who have felt in similar ways, these past couple of weeks.
Early this year, I've felt deep regret for essentialy having lost all those precious years locked myself home, in dissociations and video games. I've made my way to make some progress and trying to replace theses addictions, only to find myself 3 months later this time forcefully locked down home, and getting back again to theses old patterns.
Thanks to a very ressourceful family trip mid of this month, I Found a way again to come out of the water so to speak. During the trip, it wasn't so easy though, watching my brother and sister in law who have brought into the panic: seeing how they muzzled my 3yold nephew, not letting him freely play in the sands beach like other kids, not have any contacts with other kids, all the compulsives hand washing, hand sanitizing, no wanting me to have any close interaction with him. At the same time though It felt good to walk in nature and going place, it's been a long time i haven't been out this jungle that is Paris suburban area and I found myself wanting to be in the reality again.
Returning from the trip, i've found strenght and motivations to take actions again on the health aspect and in my immediate surroudings like ketoadapting myself again and finally going down and dirty to fix my kitchen sink that was constantly flooding and that i've been postponing like for ever and staying away from distractions/addictions by forcing myself to stay alert, focus on reality.
Since then (2 weeks) I have this constant unsettled stomach, fatigue, letargy, not having the motivation to get out of bed, staying in bed well past afternoon for like 3,4 days straight, I initialy though this was some sort of detox symptoms like when you are on iodine detox. Then it hit me, that maybe they finaly installed 5G stations somewhere. But After scouting my area and not seeing anything that looked like that (aside from noticing a new hi-tech surveillance camera i've never seen before), i finally concluded there was maybe some sort of beaming or hyperdimensional activity going on that might be part of my chaotic state of mind.
Also it's funny that you guys have been having ringing ears. I've been having this thing in my right ear again, never had that before it started early this year when I made decisions to make changes and kind of disapeared during the lockdown when I was drowned again in old patterns and here it comes again coincidently when I decide to get out of the bad habits. I'm starting to thing this is some alien implant that fire up everytime I do something the predator doesn't want me to do. Or I don't know, maybe by dissociating I was just not paying attention to my body, and only when I do, this is when i notice it.
When I take the train to go to my part time job in Paris, every time I feel this stomach ache and then I can't breathe, there's this weird suffocating atmosphere, even though i'm not putting the mask all the way covering the nose.
I also get more easily triggered by some comments on youtube, i have urge to write and straight up be mean to some people, until I catch myself and don't post and calm down let it go or If I didn't, thankfully filtered by youtube automatic moderation.
Yep, I confirm there is definetaly some "hyperkinetic sensate" type amplifying energy around.
Oh and I've had thoses dirty shower/toilets dreams too. Also dreams involving big dark waves and flooding.
Take care, you all
Early this year, I've felt deep regret for essentialy having lost all those precious years locked myself home, in dissociations and video games. I've made my way to make some progress and trying to replace theses addictions, only to find myself 3 months later this time forcefully locked down home, and getting back again to theses old patterns.
Thanks to a very ressourceful family trip mid of this month, I Found a way again to come out of the water so to speak. During the trip, it wasn't so easy though, watching my brother and sister in law who have brought into the panic: seeing how they muzzled my 3yold nephew, not letting him freely play in the sands beach like other kids, not have any contacts with other kids, all the compulsives hand washing, hand sanitizing, no wanting me to have any close interaction with him. At the same time though It felt good to walk in nature and going place, it's been a long time i haven't been out this jungle that is Paris suburban area and I found myself wanting to be in the reality again.
Returning from the trip, i've found strenght and motivations to take actions again on the health aspect and in my immediate surroudings like ketoadapting myself again and finally going down and dirty to fix my kitchen sink that was constantly flooding and that i've been postponing like for ever and staying away from distractions/addictions by forcing myself to stay alert, focus on reality.
Since then (2 weeks) I have this constant unsettled stomach, fatigue, letargy, not having the motivation to get out of bed, staying in bed well past afternoon for like 3,4 days straight, I initialy though this was some sort of detox symptoms like when you are on iodine detox. Then it hit me, that maybe they finaly installed 5G stations somewhere. But After scouting my area and not seeing anything that looked like that (aside from noticing a new hi-tech surveillance camera i've never seen before), i finally concluded there was maybe some sort of beaming or hyperdimensional activity going on that might be part of my chaotic state of mind.
Also it's funny that you guys have been having ringing ears. I've been having this thing in my right ear again, never had that before it started early this year when I made decisions to make changes and kind of disapeared during the lockdown when I was drowned again in old patterns and here it comes again coincidently when I decide to get out of the bad habits. I'm starting to thing this is some alien implant that fire up everytime I do something the predator doesn't want me to do. Or I don't know, maybe by dissociating I was just not paying attention to my body, and only when I do, this is when i notice it.
When I take the train to go to my part time job in Paris, every time I feel this stomach ache and then I can't breathe, there's this weird suffocating atmosphere, even though i'm not putting the mask all the way covering the nose.
I also get more easily triggered by some comments on youtube, i have urge to write and straight up be mean to some people, until I catch myself and don't post and calm down let it go or If I didn't, thankfully filtered by youtube automatic moderation.
Yep, I confirm there is definetaly some "hyperkinetic sensate" type amplifying energy around.
Oh and I've had thoses dirty shower/toilets dreams too. Also dreams involving big dark waves and flooding.
Take care, you all
Gmork
The Force is Strong With This One
Yup. More of those and yesterday i had like 1h right ear ringing.
unkl brws
Dagobah Resident
I think this is the scene you're referring to-
When Qui-Gon Jinn sits down at that one point, it's almost like a bit of meditation to conserve energy and ground himself.
I know exactly what you mean, only mine occurs mostly with 'Nextdoor.' Quite a few times I have a flare of fairly intense anger over the stupidity of the authoritarian followers comments. I so want to respond and let them know what I think, but then I think better of it and just support the one's who have at least some common sense by liking their comments. Once, I did write out a response but didn't hit send. I guess as a sort of cathartic exercise.
I’d say it’s a great adventure we’re on. We wouldn’t care for Lord of the Rings if it was about Frodo living comfortably in the Shire. Frodo also did not regret his adventure one bit - he took it on, endured the trials and chaos to the end, transformed who he was in the process, and served others to a great extent. He had Gandalf and friends who joined him, and it was the most meaningful thing they’ve ever done.
There is a part of us that just wants things to be normal or semi normal, a quiet peaceful life of comfort and friendships and ice cream. I don’t know if we will ever be comfortable in a chaotic and disintegrating world, and that part will always be crying out as its peace and hopes are disrupted.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
We have been repeatedly told that the Wave is approaching and chaos is coming and a new world is being created after the bloody painful birthing process. This has been said by multiple sources, the C’s being the most prominent and detailed. Given their track record and what we have been observing, I think it’s not absurd to have some manner of faith start to lock in. Like hey “we really are in this, it’s happening” and while we don’t know the twists and turns, we can have a general faith that it’s happening, and we must decide what role we will play.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that faith in ourselves, faith in the process, faith in divine cosmic mind to give us what we need to weather the storm; this will see us through. And it doesn’t mean survival, but it does mean we will accomplish something meaningful for ourselves and others, if we get out of our own way in a certain sense. In other words, commit to the adventure. It’s hard to have an adventure when you second guess that it’s even happening, or are preoccupied wishing it wasn’t happening, or worry about your ability to handle it if it gets any crazier.
Luckily the shire we wish we had never existed, so what are we really losing? There’s a possibility of a real one but only after great changes. So we are probably mourning the loss of an illusion anyway!
There is a part of us that just wants things to be normal or semi normal, a quiet peaceful life of comfort and friendships and ice cream. I don’t know if we will ever be comfortable in a chaotic and disintegrating world, and that part will always be crying out as its peace and hopes are disrupted.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
We have been repeatedly told that the Wave is approaching and chaos is coming and a new world is being created after the bloody painful birthing process. This has been said by multiple sources, the C’s being the most prominent and detailed. Given their track record and what we have been observing, I think it’s not absurd to have some manner of faith start to lock in. Like hey “we really are in this, it’s happening” and while we don’t know the twists and turns, we can have a general faith that it’s happening, and we must decide what role we will play.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that faith in ourselves, faith in the process, faith in divine cosmic mind to give us what we need to weather the storm; this will see us through. And it doesn’t mean survival, but it does mean we will accomplish something meaningful for ourselves and others, if we get out of our own way in a certain sense. In other words, commit to the adventure. It’s hard to have an adventure when you second guess that it’s even happening, or are preoccupied wishing it wasn’t happening, or worry about your ability to handle it if it gets any crazier.
Luckily the shire we wish we had never existed, so what are we really losing? There’s a possibility of a real one but only after great changes. So we are probably mourning the loss of an illusion anyway!
Exactly.
Wandering Star
The Living Force
Curiously, in the scene that I remember, the sid hits the force field several times and is more aggressive.
Fusion of realities or "bad memory".
But yeah, that's the scene I was referring to.
Same here, I force myself to push through it, but still there seems to be an increase in resistance.
It's only natural that the planetary and cosmic chaos would eventually become more and more present in our personal lives, and I guess it's going to increase more and more. Hope everyone stays safe and vigilant!
Well said, and I can totally relate. We're full steam ahead on the crazy train at the moment and I often wonder what will be the pebble on the tracks that derails it.
