What about others here taking critical feedback Nienna? is it possible for higher ranking members to do this? Or are they exempt? These two weren't actually interacting in the way that others were accusing them of and took time to explain. And the assumptions made by others were actually not correct, as was apparent after they clarified . Yet no one wants to admit this.. No one wants to own up that they made a wrong judgement which is so easy to do online.
Seams there's one rule for high ranking people here and another for others, that others have to accept when they are wrong, but forum mods etc don't. That wasn't damage limitation to me , it was what was actually happening, they both took the time to explain after being publicly shamed for just having a conversion.
I was actually enjoying reading this before it got cut off and it didn't come across as flirting, i can see how it could but that was just one perception and wasnt the first one that came to mind. If the forum isn't a chat room then okay, but its also a natural tendency for people to wanna bond and chat, so its kind of normal too so try to understand that also. So what is Networking then Alejo? Is it only the high ranking members who are given the privilege of deciding what networking is? Why not reach a consensus together. Whats wrong with just talking and laughing for the sake of it? To bond and get to know each other is intrinsic to networking imo, it depends on your perception.
It didn't come across as ego feeding either. To me It came across like two people who were giving each other a boost and some support/encouragement.
What defines "higher quality " posts? If that's what people think then it totally puts me off posting as I'm constantly in a state of stress as to wether my posts live up to what is "expected ". Not everyone is as competent, intelligent or able to post as "high quality" as you guys, including me. Attitudes like this risk to push others out and it discourages those who aren't as capable.
"Because you were told not to use the chat room " It's like your talking to a naughy kid here from a higher place
"Comport yourself like adults " A comment that came across as pompous and self important
..
Can you not see yourselves?
Using an online forum as a chat room (which they mostly are) isn't exactly crime of the century and penalising people for this is just way too harsh .
I'm done here, I've had enough of this "holier than thou" attitude from high ranking forum members who use the bat of whatever they think is wrong (usually self importance etc) with people, to beat others with, when some of them act in this way themselves. The hippocracy is too much. I'm one too I know. . In a previous post I said about expressing truths with softness and love, well I did say "if possible" lol.
Many people would agree but are probably too scared to say anything because everyone will gang up on them complete with a chorus of "likes" from mods.
I'm logging out after this as I don't have the energy to put up that crap, ie with everyone doing that to me right now cause its frigging horrible to be on the receiving end of when its done in an un loving way, where there are so many against one person. . no matter how you wish to paint it. A mirror in a group situation probably involves people in person, not on-line where folks hardly know each other, where the person who is judged "wrong" by people who hardly know them,
gets told off, often in a hostile way, by however many people with corresponding likes. And even when the higher ranking ones are proven to be wrong they can't even admit it and do all sorts of intellectualisation to excuse themselves instead of just putting their hands up and saying "sorry I was wrong " when everyone else is expected to admit it . It comes across to me as bullying from forum members who have big egos.
I put off entering this thread this morning because I was not sure what to expect. I would like to thank everyone for their responses, but I quickly want to address what you have said.
My initial reaction to the accusations was shock followed by a huge wave of disappointment.
I expected better, to be honest. I would have thought that the admin.
here would have been more discreet and I think that someone could have messaged Helmet and I with a "knock it off, coming across as inappropriate, stick to the subject matter". But instead, I felt like I was watching a 'mob mentality' pointing at us, mostly Helmet...with a group consensus of his motives...and making a judgement call without really knowing either of us (or our life stories). It felt like 'social media' (which I don't participate in), with one person coming to a conclusion and others supporting that initial judgement of a situation.
I also was worried that there would be more criticism of Helmet, and I don't think he deserves to be shamed or have his feelings hurt. He is older than me, but I also think
we are both older than many who are judging us. As someone mentioned above, I too haven't had a libido for a long time...and don't miss it at all, lol. Using humor for a moment, I'm sure some of them are rather 'grossed out' now, thinking they were witnessing a major flirt between two senior citizens.
I was debating on whether to post my feelings about how this was handled. So I went with 'honesty is the best policy' (which I live by). If I get banned, or chastised, then I will face my consequences with grace.
I do want to thank everyone, positive or negative, because I don't want to be surrounded by 'yes men'. To those who have been supportive, I love y'all for standing up for us. I have and always will, defend the underdog if I think they're being unfairly judged or treated. Much love and respect, jacy xoxo