Bad Boys

[jacygirl]

Aww, it would suck to call you Chuck. Two Buck Chuck. It would be an honor to get flicked in the forehead by you. Although a psychic flick might knock me on my rear end from afar. Yeah that is stuff that guys will never comprehend, even if they can channel their past lives as femmes carrying and birthing. Why did you assume you had a twin and run with that?

Yep, far too many words rhyme with Chuck.
Trust me, I had a son first. No woman can comprehend a multiple birth either, not even from having a singleton.

I didn't assume that I had a twin, lol. I ran with it because it amused me. I can literally write a story about anything. My sleep is awful, so when I go to bed at night, to stop my multiple thoughts, I think of something and mentally write a story about it. A couple of times I've laughed so hard that I've had to get up, go out and have a smoke. I literally wake myself up, instead of telling myself a bedtime story. Hey, I'm all alone. You do what you do sometimes.

You know, this thread has around 60 comments in it, but it's been viewed over 800 times. So somebody is checking it out. They could be staying, reading and laughing. They could be running out and slamming the door behind them. I'm ok with either/both. But I think we are having some good (and funny) conversations about our lives, life in general, what we've learned, what we're still learning. So I don't think it's a waste of time at all. Unless you do. It's not like we can have these conversations with people in 3D/Matrix world.

I've tried, gently, not too weird but hey have you ever thought about this? Or why that? I get the same reaction.
*blink...blink...blink*. It reminds me of an old TV that sometimes loses the signal so you had to give it a whack. Yeah...I feel like they need a whack to get the program back. But it's too late. They're on their phones on Facebook.
*le sigh, French for more dramatic effect*

 

[Alejo]

Are we still on topic? If I may, this seems less of a public discussion and more a tete-a-tete between the two of you. Not calling it "evil", but as you guys are aware, it's not the purpose of the forum in general, but there's also a reason we discourage private conversations between members, publicly held or otherwise.

Having said that, and perhaps interestingly relevant:

I have noticed a pattern in my own life of being attracted to 'bad boys'. I was never surprised to find out that each one had suffered an abusive or neglectful childhood, sometimes very extreme. Perhaps because of this I cut them some slack. I also loved them 'as is' and showed them unconditional love. You can't love everyone better, but I sure tried. Did it bite me in the ass eventually? Yes. Yes it did. Do I now regret these relationships? No. I learned a lot about myself and besides, every relationship led me to who I am today. No Regrets.

Well, two things on this, maybe three.. I read through The Polyvagal Theory, amazing read. But one of the things that he was explaining was how similar to the ANS, the paralyzing terror is to the submission that women place themselves in during intercourse, this is one of the reasons why bad boys are attractive, the two states of deep trust and deep fear are closely similar. There's the nurturing instinct of "fixing" a bad guy that is kind of cliche these days, has a basis in biology and psychology.

But two, reading through the criminal mind material, nurture does not always create a "bad boy" some boys are simply born bad, some boys with amazing and unbroken childhoods still grow up to be bad, the environment doesn't always, and perhaps not in most cases, explain bad behavior or socially maladjusted individuals. In most cases, a bad environment is used as an excuse for antisocial behavior. I am not saying that the environment or a difficult or awful childhood have no influence on an individual, but it's not the whole banana.

And perhaps most importantly, I know you mentioned not feeling any regret over your old relationships, which I believe is the right approach, specially if there were lessons to be learned about the world in general, but what did you discover about yourself? and how you make the choices about who you find more than interesting?

In my experience, that is the other half of going through certain mistaken choices in relationships, not just how the world works out there, but how it works within, and how the two interact with one another.