Yeah. I'm feeling a little energy-sucked-drained myself at this point and I'm not into flogging a dead horse.I didn't see any "draining" dynamics between @BHelmet and @jacygirl, nor did i feel awkward or something whilst reading their exchanges, quite the opposite!
Also, i wouldn't call it they "feeding off each other". Au contraire, i saw it as them "feeding each other".
That being said, i feel no need to push my view of this situation on all others, so i will be withdrawing from this thread for the time being, and won't be posting along the same line, so as not to create noise here.
As i've already said: your house, your rules.
Thank you for reading this, and
long live the School!
Also, if I stop posting (for a while, or longer)...it's not because I'm "taking my ball and going home". That's childish, and another wrong judgement call on my character. I have said in other threads that I'm taking a wee break from study/research, so maybe this is a good time to go back to that.
Basically, this place is a microcosm of the larger macrocosm. People see what they want to see. I used to say, "Don't hurt your head jumping to conclusions" lol. People also judge based on their own character which isn't the same as an awareness of my character. I know my intentions/motives, and geez, if it's not obvious you could always ask me.
I'm also seeing a lot of emphasis on sex, female sex vampire energy, sexual tension...etc. I've reached a place in life (and myself) where I'm enjoying the lack of all that crap. Younger people cannot know how they will feel when they're older. I didn't. Maturity comes with benefits.
Lastly, I expected to find more evolved/enlightened thinking here. How people are taking the C's 'lessons' and applying them to their own lives (and their own selves). It's one thing to repeat memorized information. You can say Gurdjjieff, Jung, The Bible...you can quote verbatim, or cut and paste passages...but can you put it into your own words, and explain how you're using this knowledge? Can you look deep inside of yourself and see how this information can help you overcome your shame/guilt/trauma...? Maybe. Maybe not.
I do feel like this particular situation is going in a loop. Accusation...defense. I mean, I could literally murder somebody and at least be provided with a defense attorney and a jury of my peers. Umm, what am I guilty of again? Oh, right...being an aged femme fatale/a'la Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo. Even Greta said, "I want to be alone". Sometimes a broad gets sick of being a symbol for sex.
I won't speak for Helmet. He's a grown up and can speak for himself. I remain glad I met him and many other lovely folks here. Glad we both had some deep conversations and a few hearty laughs. And glad I'm the scapegoat? somewhat...because I can take it without getting all emotional and bent out of shape.
Y'all do you, and I will continue to do me...and maybe our paths will cross again.