Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[truth seeker]

On a different note, I would like to share some experiences regarding eyes and seeing, Truth Seeker, is the thread you opened intended for that? Sorry for the dumb question, it's just that I was about to post something about eyes and then read your post and considered that yes, if it is intended for that it might be better for me to do so there

I apologize for the confusion. Actually the thread I started is about social anxiety.

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=14256.0

 

[Laura]

Always, if there is discomfort, stop the bioenergetic breathing and just do the relaxing and the prayer. You should skip the round breathing for a period and just do the daily meditation and pipe breathing.

Thank you Laura. Yeah, I should know that by now, you've said that a few times in this thread already... as odd as it might sound, I guess it took me a while to actually understand it wasn't being comfortable!
Yet, the sensation is lasting till today. Milder, of course, but still there. Funny thing is that I can't really put my finger on my emotional state, I can't quite comprehend how I am feeling at the moment which is not usual for me. While doing the program yesterday, I think I had a glimpse, for the first time, of what could mean actually "getting it all out"... I had this tiny weeny feeling that when and if it does come out, I am going to scream until I no longer have voice...

That's why you need to just concentrate on the meditation for now. Healing things can take place at other levels without us having to bring everything to conscious awareness. And sometimes we need to be healed before we can deal with stuff.

I had some pretty horrific memories come up during some intense breathing that I was doing during some extremely painful body work. Things like being involved in ancient violence, having one's arm torn off and so on. That stuff is NOT pleasant and god only knows how much of that sort of thing is buried in people's memories. My therapist told me that he had worked with a young woman who had a lot of physical problems and, during the course of the therapy, she remembered being a small child, being savagely raped and murdered by a gang of young men... and that was her last memory of that previous life.

So, taking all these kinds of things into account, and that we are not necessarily dealing ONLY with memories and emotional stuff from just this life, it behooves us to proceed with care and MAINLY do the meditation because that is the healing portion of the program.

I suspect that the people who came up with the idea of bio-energetic breathing for helping to unlock emotional stuff never thought about past life memories. Geeze, one of my daughters apparently was experimented on and tortured by the Nazis and she has sure been going through some stuff with this program. Can you imagine? And how many others may have such things buried in their consciousness, draining their energy, shaping their emotions in this life? Without assistance, we all life our lives in nightmares from which we cannot awaken...

So, we are sure blessed to have a way to approach and deal with these things either actively or passively according to our individual lights.

 

[truth seeker]

That's why you need to just concentrate on the meditation for now. Healing things can take place at other levels without us having to bring everything to conscious awareness. And sometimes we need to be healed before we can deal with stuff.

and

So, we are sure blessed to have a way to approach and deal with these things either actively or passively according to our individual lights.

I'm really glad you said this. I was starting to wonder if there was something I was doing wrong since I don't have any memories coming up and I have suspected for most of my life that there is something lurking because I don't have any memories of myself before the age of 5.

 

[Bluestar]

Would like to take a moment to thank Laura once again for bringing the Prayer Of The Soul and pipe breathing into my/our lives.

Wanting to make a very long story short:

This week has been a very strenuous and trying one. My 25 year old daughter has been very ill since Monday. We took her to an emergency room because she had been vomitting and had a fever. It was very frustrating for several reasons. One she does not have health insurance and second there were so many people in the emergency room that people were lined up in the hallways. She did not have swine flu. While waiting for the doctor and watching her suffer I started doing pipe breathing and the POTS. My mind was calm and wasn't running away with crazy thoughts. After a few hours they released her saying it was a stomach virus. And of course she did not go right away to a doctor cause she felt it would all go away. She did not get better.

By Thursday I took her to a doctor. He was at a loss of what was wrong with her. Her white blood cell count was high for the first blood test given on Monday and he wondered why the ER doctor did not give her an antibiotic. So he took another blood test and this time it came back lower yet she still had a fever. While there at his office I started pipe breathing and POTS again to help with my frustration. I was not so stressed out as I would have thought I would be. I took it all in stride keeping my eyes and ears open for any clue I could use for her. My intuition was to take her to another hospital. So when she was still vomitting on Friday I did just that.

The drive there was spent on repeating POTS over and over while I stroked her back. Especially giving emphasis to "Clear my eyes that I may see"
"Clear my ears that I may hear"
We got to the ER and they took her immediately. Once the doctor came in he was wonderful and ordered tests to find the root of her problem instead of dismissing it as a virus. We waited 5 hours for the test to be done and I continued with pipe breath and POTS.

Finally a diagnosis, she has colitis. Her face became calm and relief washed over her because this she can manage with diet. We all were so relieved that it was not something worse. I continued to pray and thank Diving Cosmic Mind for enabling my eyes and ears to be open because I felt that they were. I was not going to let them just passively push her aside. Then to top off this whole thing the doctor and a social worker made arrangements for her that her bill would be complete covered. Universe works in amazing ways. So thank you Laura again for this amazing tool and how it truly works inside and out.

 

[Iron]

Often there is the sense of looking at, well, simply a kind of fleshy animal body that I am accustomed to thinking of as human. That, and a weak sense of "looks" overlaid on top of it - a surreal construction (and rest assured that I am almost never in the least attracted to people - the very idea of how demented meaty critters find each other "beautiful" is bizarre to me) - would be the "in-between" state of perceiving others typical for me.

Hi Csayeursost.
The phrase "how demented meaty critters find each other 'beautifull' is bizarre to me " really striked me as odd. Do you have feelings of repulsion to people in general?
I can understand that someone who crossed a certain threshold may have almost no sexual attraction ( am I understanding correctly your use of attraction?) ,but this post gives the impression of a perceived superiority, which can be a terrible pattern to be trapped within.

 

[mada85]

My practice continues to be: POTS every morning without the audio; POTS every evening before sleep with the audio; full program Mondays and Thursdays. Well, I now cannot read about violence by one human to another without a feeling like my heart is being torn open. A statement such as this . . .

Geeze, one of my daughters apparently was experimented on and tortured by the Nazis and she has sure been going through some stuff with this program. Can you imagine?

. . . arouses such images and associations in me that my heart aches for the young woman, and all those who have suffered and are suffering on this planet.

I have noticed one or two recent posts mentioning a general tiredness. I’ve felt the same this week, and I think it has to do with emotional clearing processes going on under the surface, so to speak. This morning those processes came to the surface for me with another round of crying.

I cry because life in this world is so cruel; I cry because I have denied my self; I cry because I have denied others. However, I am asking for this every day: ‘Cleanse my heart, that I may see…’ and I am not going to stop. As painful as this process sometimes is, I feel that things really are progressing and that healing is happening.

So, another big thank you to Laura for giving us this technique, so simple and yet so profound, perhaps more profound than we can yet see.

 

[Username]

On Thursday's session I think I had my first zone out experience. It was at the beginning of the prayer of the soul. I remember the first lines of the first round and then nothing more until after the cd was over when I "came back" to my consciousness. It wasn't like when you wake up after having fallen asleep. On the contrary, when I returned to consciousness I had the clear feeling of not having ceased to be awake, despite the fact of not being aware of what had passed between the last thing I remembered and the moment when suddenly I opened my eyes and had this sensation of "coming back". It was weird.

 

[Nem]

[quote author=Manuel] (...) the moment when suddenly I opened my eyes and had this sensation of "coming back". It was weird.
[/quote]
I experienced something similar on Thursday. However, before zoning out I remember that my thoughts were all running with no control so much, that I even lost the counting and caught myself on breathing in different rhythm that on audio! It was during the middle of Ba-Ha stage when I zoned out and I "woke up" because of the phone ringing in the end of the prayer, with the strange feeling that I was somewhere and now I "came back". Afterwards I didn't know what to think about it. I've never zoned out for that long.

About the eyes, when I'm depressed and sad I avoid looking at others eyes, including those that are close to me. When it happens it magnifies my bad mood and I instinctively just want to get out of here.. I wonder if it's caused by the fact that I then "want to be alone" or am more vulnerable and subconsciously I transmit and collect even more sadness through others eyes..

 

[Challenge]

Hello everyone,
I've been doing the program for about 3 weeks now. The most noticeable effect was on my "nightlife."
I can remember 2-5 dreams per night from day one and have had about a dozen lucid dreams in these
3 weeks.

As for the more common issues... Well, like most of you I've been cranky, tired and unable to focus
for a couple of days. And unusually sad and angry at times. The sadness seems to be accumulating
beneath the surface and I've almost felt like crying at times. No release yet, but I can feel something
bubbling up inside.

Going through the entire Ba-Ha part requires a LOT of willpower in my case. Never thought it would be
that hard to sit and breathe for 20 minutes! :)

Oh yeah, and lots of short "zone out" periods during the Ba-Ha and POTS. There's been some long ones,
but I don't know if I should call it zoning out or dozing off.

 

[pete02]

That's why you need to just concentrate on the meditation for now. Healing things can take place at other levels without us having to bring everything to conscious awareness. And sometimes we need to be healed before we can deal with stuff.

So, we are sure blessed to have a way to approach and deal with these things either actively or passively according to our individual lights.

I'm really glad you said this. I was starting to wonder if there was something I was doing wrong since I don't have any memories coming up and I have suspected for most of my life that there is something lurking because I don't have any memories of myself before the age of 5.

I feel the same way. Nothing out of the ordinary happening to me either during meditation. In fact, I feel more changes in myself during my normal day then when I'm in a session. I find myself constantly thinking I'm doing something wrong. I know something must be happening tho because every time I start the POTS section, I go out almost immediately. I've now done a session in the morning, afternoon, evening and night and still.. out like a light. Always anywhere from 30 mins to as much as 3 hours and then I wake. It can't be from being tired.

All the talk about looking into peoples eyes had me thinking the other day and I've come to find that I don't really look at people so much when I'm speaking to them. A lot of times I glance they're way and hold a conversation while I'm looking or doing something else. I'm guessing this must seem pretty rude to others but no one has ever pointed it out to me before so I was unaware. I'm going to pay closer attention from now on but it makes me wonder if I've been doing this all this time, what was I subconsciously avoiding?

As far as dreaming goes I had something funny happen to me the other night. I was in a dream and speaking to someone but couldn't hear what they were saying because this music was playing so loudly in the background. I tried several times in the dream to lower the volume on that darn stereo but to no avail. It just wouldn't work. Then I finally realized that the music playing was the meditation music so I told the person in my dream to hold on, I have to wake up and turn my headphones off and I'll be right back. I woke up, took the headphones off and then realized that I was now never gonna figure out was that person was trying to say to me!

My 25 year old daughter has been very ill since Monday.

I'm glad to hear they figured out what was wrong with your daughter and I hope she feels better soon. :)

 

[Gertrudes]

That's why you need to just concentrate on the meditation for now. Healing things can take place at other levels without us having to bring everything to conscious awareness. And sometimes we need to be healed before we can deal with stuff.

So true.....

Geeze, one of my daughters apparently was experimented on and tortured by the Nazis and she has sure been going through some stuff with this program. Can you imagine?

Gosh, that is horrendous!!

Thank you, it was really precious advice, I will go ahead with only Pipe breathing and the Prayer for the folowing weeks or so.

My chest is still feeling really, really funny, and I am at the verge of crying for just anything. Yet, I don't feel particularly sad , there is just a huge ball of something coming to the surfface. My partner was with me today on one of such delicate episodes and he rubbed my chest because I had told him I just wanted to get it out! ...I still do.
oh, well... it will go away eventually. :)

 

[knowledge_of_self]

My practice continues to be: POTS every morning without the audio; POTS every evening before sleep with the audio; full program Mondays and Thursdays. Well, I now cannot read about violence by one human to another without a feeling like my heart is being torn open. A statement such as this . . .

Geeze, one of my daughters apparently was experimented on and tortured by the Nazis and she has sure been going through some stuff with this program. Can you imagine?

. . . arouses such images and associations in me that my heart aches for the young woman, and all those who have suffered and are suffering on this planet.

Same with me mada :( Laura's post was one of the last things I read before I went to sleep last night and i slept after doing the POTS portion and fell asleep to the music and dreamnt horrific things about being a resistance leader captured in nazi germany and it was a very graphic dream. And I saw a friend of mine be shot trying to rescue me and fall on a mine and well it was very graphic but I was trying to save him and I couldn't. I woke up crying... but it's weird because the person who stepped on the mine in the dream was an actor in real life so it makes me think that it was just a dream caused by what I read about Laura's daughter. And not something of a past life thing or anything like that... or maybe it was a mix?

By a mix, I mean maybe it was partly past life experiences but partly in dream form so that I would accept it easier? But than again it could have just been a bad dream and nothing more... I don't know... all I know.. is if it was really a past life thing it was really horrific. So I really feel for Laura's daughter, having to experience this knowing it is herself in a past life.

On Thursday's session I think I had my first zone out experience. It was at the beginning of the prayer of the soul. I remember the first lines of the first round and then nothing more until after the cd was over when I "came back" to my consciousness. It wasn't like when you wake up after having fallen asleep. On the contrary, when I returned to consciousness I had the clear feeling of not having ceased to be awake, despite the fact of not being aware of what had passed between the last thing I remembered and the moment when suddenly I opened my eyes and had this sensation of "coming back". It was weird.

I didn't do the full program on Thursday because I got my wisdom tooth removed that morning and it really hurt but I did it on the next day and I also experienced the 'zoning out' thing for the first time. Well the first time I realized I was 'zoning out' anyway... It was really interesting.
For me it was on the second or third POTS reading and I just remember I was focusing on the words and I guess you could say I got 'lost in the meaning' and when I came back Laura was saying "Divine Cosmic Mind, Bless you all" and by than, I was sooo relaxed all my muscels were numb and it was just the most interesting sensation to be fully awake but still have my eyes closed and my body numb as if it was asleep. Very hard to explain

 

[Psalehesost]

Often there is the sense of looking at, well, simply a kind of fleshy animal body that I am accustomed to thinking of as human. That, and a weak sense of "looks" overlaid on top of it - a surreal construction (and rest assured that I am almost never in the least attracted to people - the very idea of how demented meaty critters find each other "beautiful" is bizarre to me) - would be the "in-between" state of perceiving others typical for me.

Hi Csayeursost.
The phrase "how demented meaty critters find each other 'beautifull' is bizarre to me " really striked me as odd. Do you have feelings of repulsion to people in general?
[...] this post gives the impression of a perceived superiority, which can be a terrible pattern to be trapped within.

Not repulsion, but rather distance and alienation. Alienated both with the world (that part of it - material existence in the form of organic life, which strikes me as bizarre and senseless - that we experience here, though at the very same time I take it for granted that things are as they are and accept them as such) and its inhabitants.

And when I wrote "how" in that phrase, I was thinking "how" as in "how it works". (interpreting the "how" otherwise, the phrase does appear disdainful, I can see) I was thinking of this - the mechanics of this "function" - and conveyed (colored by emotion stirring under the surface) an impression of it appearing senseless to me in the context of this "happening with" people who then blindly and mechanically follow it in the face of the reality (which, as far as I can see, is raw and coarse and not in any way beautiful - apart from knowing it being so).

 

[ramaj]

As for semantic aphasia, I can direct you to the following (my emphasis in quotes):

Thanks Csayeursost,

I'm only asking because I don't really know what semantic aphasia is and I looked up aphasia and I feel I only partly understand what [Incognito] stated.

I didn't have a name for what I was seeing until I read something that Laura wrote about it (somewhere in the sites vast amount of info), but I'm not finding the particular description in it in the links Csayeursost provided. I also couldn't find it in my own search.

I'll do my best to describe the phenomenon.

In his need to be right, logic made no difference. When I would make make an obvious true statement that went against a point he was trying to make, his eyes would freeze-nobody was home, it was like a robot that didn't have that particular chip installed- it looked like he was unable to process a truth if it went against his programming, beliefs or wants. It was really bizarre and I didn't know what to make of it at the time. I thought he was standing there trying to find a way to make his point true when there was no logical way to do so, so he was frozen, or his brain had stalled and then he changed the subject. It was as if the previous conversation had never occurred. That's the best I can do as far as an explanation.

Maybe someone here will know which excerpt I'm remembering or can provide a better description, hopefully.

thank you very much for providing detils to what you went through, now I feel I have a better understanding of what you are conveying. This reminds be of the time in the transcripts where a couple was in Las Vegas and it was very hot so they went in a casino to get water and they encountered a gray posing as a human pertending to be drunk and wanted to see one of their I'D cards and one of the couple asked the gray "if we have a problem?" and it confused the gray, therefore "it" offered to buy them drinks. Fwiw

 

[Nienna]

I agree on "the eyes are the windows of the soul".

I always look a person in the eyes when talking to them. I may be doing something else and will look away from time to time, but in general I look a person in the eyes. You can tell very many things by looking into their eyes.

Not only can you see a dead-look in someones eyes that is essentially emotionally dead, or with no conscience, there are differences in people, I have found, when they have been drinking or heavy into drugs, and I don't mean the dilation of the pupil.

My ex is an alcoholic. There were many noticeable things that occurred with his eyes that I saw. When he was drinking, his eyes not only changed their shape, but had the "dead look" to them, as if he had disconnected from any conscienceness he had. I had once asked him a question about his drinking and just a split second before he told me is lie, his eyes took on a very, hmmmm, what to call it, slit-eyed appearance and he looked to the side momentarily that looked back and told me the lie. If I had not been watching his eyes, I never would have seen it. I knew instantly that he was lying.

Another person I knew was someone who was our lead-man in the company I worked for. He had been through a rehab for cocaine use and had been clean for 6 months. The other supervisor and myself thought we would give him a chance and he proved to be a very wonderful person. Nice, ready to do anything and always laughing - and his eyes were full of life.

After 5 years of being with us, he ran into old friends and started hanging out with them again and got back on the cocaine. I noticed that he had the "dead-look" in his eyes.

He was fired and supposedly went back to rehab after a few months of enjoying his cocaine again. He came back to apply for a job with us again, but I noticed that even though he was telling us how sorry he was, how he vowed he would never do it again, his eyes were still "dead looking". Where his eyes had been round and full of life when he was working for us for those 5 years, they now were slits, he looked very sly and devious, and they were dead. I told my fellow supervisor that I would not hire him. He was hiding something.

Sure enough, he was later seen selling cocaine to someone and was high himself.

So I really think that the eyes have a lot to tell us if we just can see these things.

fwiw